by Sarah Bailey
“Yes. All of us have.”
There was no point denying it to her. She’d been raised with criminals so she knew the deal. And there would be more bloodshed before we were done with Russo. That was unavoidable.
“Oh… I didn’t think… I hadn’t considered that.”
“You don’t have to kill him, little girl. No one expects that of you. One of us will. We’ve always known it could come to this.”
She sighed and reached out, taking one of my hands in hers.
“I knew you wouldn’t like it if I told you.”
I didn’t want her to kill anyone. Ash had no idea how it felt. She might have watched Frank do it, but that wasn’t the same as taking away someone else’s life. Even if she thought she wanted to, the reality would be very different. I wasn’t sure if her need to get back at him was clouding her judgement or not.
“I’m merely saying you have a choice. I think I speak for all of us when I say no one wants to put you in that position.”
Ash leant her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes. She’d been through a hell of a lot in the past couple of hours and I’m sure we didn’t need to be discussing this right now. I stroked her hand with my thumb.
“I just want this all to end,” she whispered. “I need it to. I’m so tired, Quinn. I’m tired of living in fear. I just want a normal life with you all… is that asking too much?”
“No, little girl, it’s not. It’s what we want too.”
“Are you sure? Is this really what you all want? Me? This? Us?”
She opened her eyes and the sadness in them ripped into my heart.
“Is this enough? Because this is all it’s going to be. We can’t do normal things couples do like get married or have kids. I don’t even know if that’s what any of you want. We’ve never talked about it. Never talked about how this is going to work in the future when all of this shit is over.”
A single, solitary tear fell down her cheek.
“I know I want all of you for life… It hurts my heart to even think about this ending. Everything is so up in the air, but I need to know if we have a future together. I need to know what you want from me. Because if I can’t give you those things… then what are we even doing here?”
Chapter 38
My heart hurt like hell. I had to ask those questions. Ever since Xav had joked about me being their wifey, it’d played on my mind. I couldn’t give any of them a normal life like that. When we’d started this, none of us had fully considered the impact it might have on the future. None of us had remotely even thought for a second we’d all become so serious about each other. And now it was clear the love we shared was mutual, I had to know if this is something they wanted to commit to permanently. I had to know it’s what they wanted just as I did. Especially when we were so close to ending this shit with Frank.
Quinn hadn’t let go of my hand. He held it tightly in his. His thumb still stroked my skin. His eyes had darted to Rory’s then his head turned and he looked at Xav and Eric in the front.
My chest hurt like hell, mostly because of the fucking car crash, but some of it was the thought of not having them with me. Of this disappearing and leaving me with a destroyed heart. It wouldn’t just break. It would rip apart and the pieces would never fit back together properly.
“I can’t answer for everyone else,” Quinn said quietly. “But I know all I want is you, little girl. I love you and you’ll always be enough for me. Just you. The rest doesn’t mean a fucking thing, okay? Don’t need a legal document to know I’m yours and you’re mine.” His dark eyes bored into me. “I don’t have a future if you’re not in it, do you understand? You are my future.”
My words got stuck in my throat. The depth of feeling in his words and the way his voice shook with emotion gave me all the answer I needed from him.
He leant closer and pressed a kiss to my temple.
“I’m not leaving you, Ash. I promise. You, me and the boys are all I need in this life, okay?”
I nodded as I was currently unable to talk. All my emotions swirled around inside me and I was worried I’d burst into tears and break down completely.
Quinn pulled back and looked at the others expectantly.
“Angel, is this because of my stupid joke when Isabella and Viktor were over?” Xav asked.
“What the fuck did you joke about?” Quinn asked, his expression clouding over.
“I just said you thought she wouldn’t want to be our wifey.”
“For fuck’s sake, Xav, what is wrong with you? That isn’t something you should joke about. Putting fucking doubts about our feelings in her head.”
He put his hands up.
“Hey, I didn’t know it would do this… Fuck, I’m so sorry, angel.”
Quinn shook his head, his hand tightening in mine. Eric gave Xav a dark look.
“I’m in this for the long haul, hellcat, even if this idiot here is putting stupid ideas in your head. I don’t think any of us thought we’d survive long enough to settle down and do things like get married, so to be honest, it doesn’t matter to me. You matter. I love you. And on occasion, this guy, when he isn’t being a dick, but my point is we’re in this together. You and these three are my future.”
My heart clenched hard in my chest hearing Eric’s words. My bottom lip trembled and I still couldn’t form a response. That’s when I felt a little nudge of my arm. I turned to Rory. His hazel eyes were a little glazed over. He was in pain so I felt shit for even asking this question right now. But it had to be done. I had to know.
“I meant what I said last night… I love you, little star. You’re my home and I won’t give you up for the fucking world, okay? Never. I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth.”
Rory had said that last night. He’d made his declaration then. And now he’d openly admitted he loved me in front of the others. I didn’t need any more reassurances from him. So I gave him a nod.
“Is this what we’re doing? All declaring our feelings?” Xav asked.
“Yes, so fucking stop being a dick and give her the goddamn reassurance she needs,” Quinn barked from next to me. “If Rory can do it, then so can you.”
I looked over at Xav. His blue eyes were sad and he looked so lost.
“Hey man, chill out. I know I fucked up, okay? Jesus.”
He rubbed his face and met my eyes.
“Angel… I love you. That’s never going to change. You’re my most precious angel and I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist. I already told you I don’t need marriage and shit like that. And even if being with you means putting up with these fools, I don’t care. Already dealt with them most of my life, what’s fifty-odd more years.”
His declaration fit him so perfectly. He didn’t take much in life seriously, but I could see this was something he meant.
“Also… did everyone else conveniently forget our girl here specifically mentioned kids?”
I blinked. I had said that. And the reality was I’d always wanted children. But when you had four boyfriends, it didn’t seem like it would be a thing we did. Besides, it was too soon to bring it up, wasn’t it? Why had I even said that?
You idiot. What if they all get scared off? What if none of them wants kids? What if it’s too complicated for us to even think about it? I mean, how the fuck would it even work?
“Do you want kids, angel?”
Did I answer that truthfully? We were getting things out in the open, so I should really be honest. It didn’t seem right to keep it from them. Especially not when they’d all told me they were in this for life. That they wanted me forever. Wanted this thing… this quintet to work.
“Yes,” I squeaked.
I glanced around at their faces and I couldn’t read a single one of them.
I shouldn’t have admitted it. Great. Now they’re all going to think I’m baby mad or something which isn’t true.
Having kids now was not on my rad
ar. I was only twenty-one and we were already in enough danger without all of that.
Quinn’s phone began to buzz in his pocket. He frowned, letting go of my hand and pulling it out.
“I have to take this,” he muttered before answering it. “Hello? Wait, what? Hold on, Geoff, slow down… Seriously? Send it to me… No, I’m not in the fucking city right now, but we’re on our way back… Shit, okay, I get it… I’ll sort it out, just send me the video, okay? Right, I’ll speak to you in a bit.”
“Is everything okay?” Xav asked when he lowered the phone from his ear.
“No, everything is not fucking okay.”
“You going to tell us what’s wrong then?”
He waved a hand at Xav and kept his attention on his phone. I began to get a feeling of dread in my stomach. Why had his business manager called him? What could be so wrong? We’d already been through enough today and didn’t need more bad news on top of everything else.
“How long until we’re back in London?”
“Like half an hour or so,” Eric replied, looking back at him in the rearview mirror.
“Fuck.”
The car went silent as Quinn fiddled with his phone then sounds erupted from his phone. I looked over at his phone and I swear my whole world crashed down around me.
“You think you can fuck with me and get away with it, do you?” came Frank’s voice as his face filled the screen. “Think again. This is a message for you, your friends and my daughter. I’m going to destroy you. None of you will be left alive. You seem to think this is a game. Flaunting your sick, disgusting relationship with my daughter in everyone’s faces. I’m so disappointed in you, Ashleigh. Spreading your legs for four men like a wanton whore. Is that how you wound them around your little finger, huh? Did you offer up your body so they wouldn’t hurt you?”
I swallowed hard. The fact he’d made our relationship which was based on love, trust and understanding sound like it was wrong and disturbing left a sour taste in my mouth.
“I should’ve known you’d turn out to be a little slut like your mother. She had no fucking qualms about opening her legs to other men even whilst married to me. I admit I shouldn’t have turned a blind eye to it, but I wanted her to think she’d got away with it. The bitch thinks she pulled a fast one on me. Too bad she’s mistaken. Isn’t that right, Isabella?”
The camera panned out and there was my mother bound to a chair with a gag in her mouth. She had a black eye and blood ran down from her bottom lip. My hand went to my own mouth, stifling a scream. Frank moved towards her and stroked a hand down her face.
“You tried to leave me, Izzy. Tried to leave this life. Don’t you know that’s not how it works? You. Are. Mine. The only way you’ll leave me is if you’re in a fucking body bag.”
Frank turned back to the camera, his eyes glinting with evil. Pure fucking evil.
“You see what happens to the women disobey me, Ashleigh? You see this? It’s only the beginning. I’m going to punish her for everything you’ve done. But I won’t kill her, no, that’s too fucking good for this bitch. This whore I call my wife. She’s going to suffer knowing she’ll never escape me again. She’ll realise her place unlike you.”
Isabella let out a muffled cry.
“What’s that, Izzy? You want to talk to her? Be my fucking guest.”
He ripped the gag out of her mouth and she choked, spitting out fluff.
“Ash, baby, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry. Please don’t come for me. Stay with them. They’ll take care of you. Don’t let him get to you.”
Frank backhanded her across the face. Next thing I knew she was spitting blood out.
“Your mother was never a very smart one, Ashleigh,” Frank said, his voice dark and loaded with determination. “You can try to hide from me with your men, but you won’t be able to hide forever. I’m going to make you watch whilst I bleed them all dry, just like the old days, eh? You’re going to scream, cry and beg me to stop. You’ll wish you never crossed me. Then I’ll slit your throat and put you out of your fucking misery. You’re a worthless whore. You’re not fit to rule the Russo family.”
Rage drove through me. I’d already gotten angry once today at Carlo, but this was nothing in comparison to that. How dare he take her. How dare he do this. And how dare he say that shit about me. I would not take this lying down. I wasn’t going to allow him to terrorise us any longer.
“This is your final warning, Ashleigh. I’m going to find you and then you’ll be erased from the world along with Quinn, Xavier, Eric and Rory. Do you hear me? You’re all going to die.”
The video stopped then. Silence descended over the car. Our previous conversation about our relationship, marriage and babies completely forgotten. There was no way in hell I’d stand by idly whilst he did this shit to my mother. No fucking way. Not after I’d reconciled with her. Quinn might have told me he didn’t want me to kill, but now there was no fucking way I was going to let any of them take this away from me.
Frank Russo was going to be the one who would die. He’d drown in his own blood by the time I was done with him. Nothing and no one would stop me. I’d protect us all from his bullshit. I’d go up against him and destroy his fucking life.
I was the queen. I was the motherfucking queen. And no one would take that shit away from me.
“I’m going to kill him,” I ground out. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”
The boys all stared at me, even Eric through the rearview mirror.
“He’s a dead fucking man walking. Mark my fucking words, I will kill Frank Russo. Me and only me. I’m going to take a fucking knife to that man’s throat and bleed him fucking dry. Me. I will end him for good.”
To be continued in
Together. Apart. Where does it end?
It started with the war. The war we’d wage upon the very man who’d raised me. The war which would either tear us apart or keep us together.
We’d finally found our way to each other. The five of us gave in. It’d been inevitable from the start. Desire had forged us, but it was love which set us free. Made us into what we were. A family drenched in blood.
Everything had built up to this moment. Our final fight for survival. Our final battle against corruption. Quinn, Xavier, Eric and Rory were the ones I had to protect at all costs. Even if it meant I sacrificed parts of myself in the process.
We had so much to live for. So much to lose. Would we really win this? Would we come out the other side? Would we still be whole? And the very last question I had… Is the love we share really enough for all of us in the end?
Get Depraved Now
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Sarah’s Sinners
Music is one of my biggest inspirations for when I’m writing my books. If you’re curious about what songs inspired me, have a listen to the playlist.
The Devil's Syndicate Playlist
Titles by Sarah Bailey
Dark Romance
Corrupt Empire
Betrayal
Sacrifice
Revenge
Benson Siblings
Provoked
Promises
Prohibit
Protect
The Devil’s Syndicate
Deceived
Defied
Derailed
Debauched
Depraved
Paranormal Romance
After Dark
Demon’s Destiny
Vampire’s Kiss
Witching Night
; Cursed Heart
Death’s Angel
Lucifer’s Cage
Blood Magic
Erotic Romance
Dirty series
Dirty Dom
Dirty Cop
Dirty Chef
Acknoweldgements
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this book. I really appreciate all of my readers and hope this book gave you as much joy reading it as I did writing it.
A huge thank you to my best friend and critique partner, Sab. Without you, I wouldn’t know when I’ve gone too far or done too little. You are, undoubtedly, one of the best things to ever happen to me. You’ve never steered me wrong and for that, I will be eternally grateful. Thank you for all the laughs, tears and everything in between.
Another thank you has to go to my author friend, Elle. You’re always encouraging me, listening to my various rants and lamenting over my characters. It’s been such a joy to get to know you over this past year. Hopefully many more to come!
A huge thank you goes to all my readers and reviewers. Without you, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you so much for taking a chance on this series!
To my beautiful family, thank you for always being here for me. Your support is absolutely priceless. I can’t believe how far I’ve come in the past year and your encouragement has kept me going.
And last, but not least, thank you to my husband. You’re the best person in my life even if you drive me crazy. I love you to the stars and back!
About The Author
Sarah writes dark, contemporary, erotic and paranormal romances. She adores all forms of steamy romance and can always be found with a book or ten on her Kindle. She loves anti-heroes, alpha males and flawed characters with a little bit of darkness lurking within. Her writing buddies nicknamed her ‘The Queen of Steam’ for her pulse racing sex scenes which will leave you a little hot under the collar.