‘Do we have a surgeon on call?’ she asked back in the direction of the bay where Bryce was waiting.
‘Normally we have two general surgeons on call but unfortunately Dr Franklin is down with influenza and Dr Douglas is in Tamworth overnight. He’s due back in the morning. It wouldn’t usually be a problem because, normally, I would be able to cover.’
‘Okay. That certainly changes things.’
‘Would you prefer us to hold off and monitor overnight?’ Harrison asked as he began pacing.
‘No. I understand you want conservative treatment, that’s always my aim with my patients, but in this case moderate might, as I said before, be the far riskier option at this point. In the absence of any other choice, it looks like you and I are operating on your son. It’s unorthodox at best but it’s Bryce’s best chance. Have you undertaken an appendectomy recently?’
‘One, a few months ago, in similar circumstances.’
‘And the age of the patient?’
‘Twenty-nine.’
‘Twenty-nine, and Bryce is five, so this procedure will be the same...but also very different. You know what I mean. So I’ll take the lead. Are you good with that?’ Her look was serious as she was preparing mentally for the task at hand. Saving Harrison’s son, with his assistance.
‘Of course.’
* * *
‘Bryce,’ Harrison said softly as they both re-entered the ER bay. ‘Your stomach ache is not going to get any better unless Dr Jessica operates and takes out your appendix.’
‘What’s that?’
‘A little piece of your tummy that you don’t need but it is sick and has germs stuck in it and it’s giving you the stomach ache.’
‘Will the operation hurt?’
‘No, you will be asleep and afterwards the nurses will give you medicine to make it better.’
‘Then they should give medicine so I don’t need an operation, Daddy.’
Harrison appreciated his son’s logic. It wasn’t correct but it would seem sensible to a five-year-old.
‘I wish we could but your appendix is hurting you because it is sick and it needs to be taken out of your tummy. It won’t get well with medicine.’
‘Will it be put in a jar like Toby’s tonsils? He brought the jar in for show and tell.’
‘Maybe. We can talk about it later, but first things first and that is getting the sick appendix out of you. And I’ll be right with you the whole time.’
‘You promise you won’t leave me?’
Harrison dropped down to eye level with his son. ‘I promise you I’ll be right by you. I’m not going anywhere.’
* * *
The theatre was prepared and the anaesthesiologist, Dr Martin Barry, arrived fifteen minutes later and was given an overview by Jessica of how she saw the surgery proceeding. She told him that she hoped it would be straightforward laparoscopic procedure and, if so, should be completed within thirty minutes. If there were complications it could take a little longer and they would be prepared for that too.
While Bryce was prepped for surgery, Harrison and Jessica headed in to scrub for the single most important surgical procedure that Harrison would perform in his life. With the water running, they both lathered up and then with the assistance of theatre staff, slipped on gloves, gown, cap and glasses.
‘If it becomes too much being in there with your son,’ Jessica began, ‘please just leave the theatre. Don’t hesitate. I can do it alone but it will be better if you at least begin the procedure with me as I’m not entirely sure what we will find going in. It’s exploratory and, with any luck, we will find an ever so slightly infected organ that we can take out quickly without any drama and then Bryce will be running around again by next weekend.’
‘Let’s hope so.’
‘At this stage, hoping is all we can do.’
They entered the theatre, where Bryce was resting under the effects of some pre-operative medication with the rest of the late-night surgical team busily preparing for the impending surgical procedure around him. Dr Barry had adjusted the dose of anaesthesia for his height and weight and age as noted on his patient records.
‘Daddy’s here, just as I promised, with Dr Jessica,’ Harrison told the sleepy boy. ‘And I’ll still be here when you wake up.’
Slowly the little boy drifted into an unconscious state from the anaesthesia.
‘You are good to go,’ Dr Barry told her.
‘Okay, let’s get this appendix out and make this young man feel like himself again,’ she said as she took the laparoscopic intra-abdominal trocar from the nurse and began the keyhole surgery by making an incision for the umbilical port. Once the trocar had been inserted into the umbilical port, gas was then gently pumped into Bryce’s abdomen to inflate the area to enable Jessica to see more clearly what they were facing. Harrison inserted the laparoscope and Jessica could see immediately that the appendix was red and inflamed.
‘You were right about the appendix...’ Harrison began and then stopped.
Jessica was correct about the appendicitis but there was more and it wasn’t good. The theatre staff could all see on the monitor that Bryce’s appendix had perforated and the infected contents had spilled out, covering the other organs in his abdomen.
Jessica was concerned but she wasn’t going to let Harrison know and she quickly pulled herself back to the task at hand.
‘Will we need to change to open surgery?’ the theatre nurse asked, preparing to wheel over the other surgical trolley.
‘No, I’ll continue as planned. I’ll insert the other two trocars, then utilise them as a passage into the cavity for the other instruments. I will dissect out the ruptured appendix and mobilise it.’
Jessica gently moved the appendix to one side using the grasper so that she could investigate further his tiny abdomen.
‘I can see where it’s ruptured; the tissue is necrotic and turning black from the infection,’ she explained.
‘That is not an overnight occurrence,’ Harrison said flatly. ‘This is a slightly longer-term infection.’
‘Children are good at covering up sometimes, Harrison,’ she told him, sensing he was feeling a level of guilt for his son’s condition. ‘I’ll staple off just below the rupture. It will divide the appendix and leave a row of staples across the stump.’ Jessica fired one row of staples to divide the appendix from the colon. ‘The second row of staples will divide the blood supply,’ she explained as she fired another row. ‘The staples don’t dissolve but they won’t cause Bryce any pain or issues in the future.’
Using the graspers again, Jessica checked the staple lines across the stump seal were secure and that there was no leakage or bleeding from the colon. ‘I will leave the appendix in there for a moment while I look into the pelvis.’
‘There’s a lot of pus and murky fluid,’ Harrison said, visibly distraught but remaining calm. ‘He must have been in so much pain.’
‘A great deal, but he’s clearly a strong boy,’ Jessica responded. ‘But after we clean all this fluid and pus out of his pelvis, he’ll be feeling like a new little man.’ Jessica inserted a suctioning tool and emptied the cavity of the infected material. ‘Just to make sure there’s nothing remaining there that we can’t see, I’ll put a drain down into the pelvis and bring it out through the skin. It will need to stay in for four days.’
Jessica ensured all was as she expected and there were no unexpected surprises. ‘I can now take out the appendix through the incision.’
Once she had done so, the nurse took the draining tube and attached it to a bulb pump and then Jessica removed all three trocars and began to suture closed the three small wounds. Harrison watched on in awe of her skills. His gratitude was born of the fact that Jessica had saved his son’s life; his respect was born of watching such a skilled surgeon.
‘I’ll leave the port valve in pl
ace too for a few days, along with the drain, so that gas can escape from his stomach. If we don’t he’ll have similar pain again but this time from the procedure.’
With that she stepped back and he watched as she walked from the theatre, leaving the nurses and anaesthesiologist to do their work and take Bryce to Recovery. Harrison chose to stay.
* * *
Her work was done.
And now she should be able to walk away...but suddenly her legs felt heavy and her stomach uneasy. Was she walking away from this town too soon? Was Harrison telling the truth? She wasn’t sure about anything and she didn’t know if she was making the right choice any more. She wondered if she needed to hear him out.
Seeing the depth of love that he had for his son, the trust and belief Harrison had placed in her, suddenly Jessica had more questions than she had answers.
He had based his decision about his son’s surgery on what she had said she would do if she were Bryce’s mother. An unexpected question and one that made her look at everything a little differently. Including him.
And how he saw her.
CHAPTER NINE
JESSICA FOUND HARRISON outside Bryce’s room at six the next morning, understandably dishevelled from a night she suspected had been spent sitting up in a hospital chair. He was looking down at the ground, his head resting in his hands. Just as he’d promised, he’d not left his son’s side. Jessica wasn’t surprised. His love for his son was undeniable.
‘Harrison,’ she said softly, so as to not startle him, as she sat on the empty chair beside him. She had barely slept herself but at least what little sleep she’d managed was in her own bed. She was concerned about Bryce and confused about his father. And both had made her toss and turn and wonder if she should get on the plane and turn her back on the man who had hurt her.
Or whether she should stay and see if there was something there worth fighting for.
He raised his head and faced her. His gutted expression cut her to the core. She wished it didn’t but it did. He was exposed and vulnerable and her heart went out to him. She wanted to find reasons to hate him. She wanted to not give a damn. But, sitting so close to him, she was struggling to find a reason to hate him—and she did give a damn.
But there was still so much she didn’t understand.
‘I had to step out. I needed a few minutes...’
‘And some black coffee,’ she added, handing him one she had picked up at the cafeteria. ‘They told me you’d been here all night.’
‘I couldn’t go home. Bryce needed me here, and I needed to be here.’
‘He’ll pull through.’ She knew they had made the right decision to operate and her earlier call to ICU had confirmed the prognosis for Bryce was optimistic.
The prognosis for her and Harrison was not so certain but she couldn’t leave the way it was, with so many questions and so much left unsaid. There was unfinished business. If nothing else, Jessica knew she needed closure or what they had shared and what might have been would haunt her.
‘He’s all I have, Jessica. Every choice I’ve made about my life has been based on what’s best for my son. I want to shield him from hurt for as long as I can. He’s had enough in his life and he’s not even fully aware of it yet. He’ll have a lot of questions as he grows up and the answers might be painful for him to hear.’
Jessica listened intently, hoping that some of her questions might be answered. Was walking away from her, deciding one night was all they would be, one of those decisions? But why did he not want to see if there could be more? Why would he worry about his son being around her? She loved children and she had devoted her life to providing the best care for children.
‘You put Bryce first; it’s what devoted parents do,’ she told him, wishing she could put her arms around him and comfort him but knowing she couldn’t. She wasn’t willing to risk showing that level of familiarity or intimacy. ‘Bryce will be fine. He’s a little fighter.’
‘I’ve been fighting for custody of my son for the last five years.’ He raked his hand through his hair. ‘Going crazy thinking that I might lose him.’
Jessica was surprised to learn he had been battling to keep his son for so long. The child was only five years of age. She was beginning to understand his level of protectiveness over his son. Harrison had been a single dad for almost Bryce’s entire life.
‘And now, when I finally get custody, I almost lose him. He was in so much pain and I hesitated. I wanted to leave it until morning. What sort of father does that?’
‘One who cares and thinks about things thoroughly and weighs up the risks,’ she countered. ‘One who doesn’t rush in.’
‘Oh, I’ve rushed into things before.’
‘Maybe you’ve learnt a hard lesson about it and that’s why you didn’t want to rush this time?’
Harrison looked up at the ceiling and drew a deep and thoughtful breath. ‘Maybe. But sometimes you have to make quick decisions and hope on a wing and a prayer you get it right.’
‘Sometimes you do.’ She agreed. Like the one she had made that morning in coming to see Harrison.
‘If it wasn’t for you encouraging me not to be conservative, peritonitis would have most definitely set in overnight and then...’ He paused. ‘I don’t want to think what might have happened. I just wish that I’d acted sooner...’
‘There’s no point wishing,’ Jessica cut in. ‘I learnt that a long time ago. You have to accept the situation you’re facing and make the right decision at the time with what you know. And afterwards there’s no point in looking back because you can’t do anything about it. That’s what we did last night when we operated.’
‘But if only I’d taken more notice of the symptoms two days ago...’
‘Harrison, you have to stop this. Look at me. Remember, you can’t look back. Bryce is a tough little boy, he managed to hide a simmering appendix from you, and there’s no point with the if only. God knows, I’ve spent the best part of a year questioning myself over the mistakes I’ve made and it doesn’t undo what’s done.’
Harrison lifted his head and looked at Jessica. His eyes were heavy and tired and filled with fear and something else she couldn’t define. ‘Jessica, you should have no regrets about anything. I’m the one that should have regrets...particularly where you and I are concerned. Any man would be so lucky to have you and I messed up. I wasn’t thinking straight,’ he said, his hand moving closer to hers.
Instinctively, Jessica moved her hand out of his reach. It wasn’t something she did out of anger. More the need to keep some boundaries for a little longer.
‘But I thought I had to push you away, for your sake and mine,’ he said, drawing a deep and thoughtful breath.
‘I’m not sure I understand. I mean I know you’ve been in a battle for Bryce, but that has nothing to do with me.’
‘I know, absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s just that I worried there wasn’t enough in this town to hold your interest and I don’t want to start something, only to have it end because it wasn’t the right thing for you.’
‘I love this town, it’s amazing and the hospital is as advanced as any I’ve worked in. Why would you say that?’
‘I’m done with convincing anyone that this is where they want to be. I did it once and it ended badly.’ He was wringing his hands and staring into another time and place.
Jessica hesitated, then decided there was nothing to lose in knowing the truth. ‘Are you talking about Bryce’s mother?’
‘Yes. I don’t think I can face doing it again. Convince you to stay and see where this might lead when you really want to be somewhere, anywhere other than this town. And if it isn’t what you want, when you walk away after a few months you won’t just take a piece of my heart, you’d take a big piece of Bryce’s heart with you. It’s not fair for him to pay the price again for his father falling in love too quic
kly.’
Falling in love? Jessica fell back against the hard chair of the waiting area. He had just said he was falling in love with her? Were his feelings as strong for her as her feelings had been for him? She looked at him, saying nothing, just wanting to know more about what drove him and what made him the man he was.
‘I met Bryce’s mother and we rushed into a relationship. She was a make-up artist in town for six weeks for a film shoot and we met, hit it off and thought it was love at first sight. One thing led to another and she found out she was pregnant.’ He stopped and took a deep purposeful breath. ‘It shouldn’t have happened, we took precautions, but nothing is one hundred per cent effective. I have Bryce and I wouldn’t change anything but his mother didn’t feel the same way. I convinced her to stay in Armidale, marry me and raise our son.’
‘That was very chivalrous and a little old-fashioned of you.’
‘It was the right thing to do and I thought we could be happy and for a while I thought we were. We had our differences but, for the main part, I thought everything was okay until Bryce was three months old and she announced that she was bored beyond belief with country life...and me. Those were her words, and they stayed with me. She hated everything about her life here and said she would go mad if she had to stay even another week. That was it; she was leaving.’
‘That’s such a cruel thing to say to anyone.’
‘It was how she felt; she didn’t hold back.’
‘Did she try and take Bryce?’
‘No. She didn’t want him. Strangely, while I’m glad she didn’t fight me for him initially, it hurt even more that she didn’t want Bryce. I couldn’t understand it. But over the years she sporadically threatened to take him. If I asked her to make the effort to visit and keep a level of maternal contact that would be beneficial to Bryce as he grew up, she would tell me she was taking him to live with her. It wasn’t ever going to be her raising him; it was going to be her parents, who live in San Diego. So I eased off asking her to factor her son into her life.’
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