Lia reached out and caught Reika’s right rein in a jarring movement, startling the poor mare and bringing us to an abrupt halt. “Don’t you dare tell me I’d be all right,” Lia said, with a fierceness I hadn’t expected. “You will not leave me behind. I’ll live in safety at your side, or risk death with you on a battlefield. Those are your choices.”
“Lia, no,” I shook my head.
“After all this time, do you actually think you can tell me no?” she asked calmly, her brow creasing in the middle. “When have I ever allowed you to decide for me?”
“Lia…” I started, but she dropped the rein and reached out for me, roughly gripping the back of my neck, leaning forward to kiss me insistently.
“You won’t leave me,” she said against my lips before releasing me.
“What about Astrid?” I said, trying to make her see reason. “You have a responsibility to our daughter.”
“Yes, I do,” she agreed. “I’m going to keep her mother from sacrificing herself for no reason. I remember losing Mata when I was barely older than Astrid is now. I remember the fear, and chaos, and anger, as my world turned over on itself. Astrid won’t experience that if I can prevent it,” she said. “Pet, you are my life. What I feel for you is far beyond love, or loyalty, or attachment. I will not lose you. I can’t.”
Lia urged Khol forward and I walked on, matching my pace to hers. She didn’t look at me for a while. We rode past the well covering she and Lore had escaped through with her sister during the witch’s attack, and past the gamekeeper’s cottage where I’d existed those solitary months waiting for Lauderdam to be built, and for Lia to come to me. Finally, Lia turned her attention to Reika.
“I still can’t believe Mata gave you this mare. She’s beautiful,” she commented with false cheer, trying to change the subject to something easier. “You realize, Eren is getting a little long in the tooth,” she added, forcing a smile and trying to sound like herself again. “It will take at least two or three years for my mother to find another horse she likes as well, and by then Eren will be ancient.”
“You don’t have to fear losing me,” I said, ignoring her attempt at smoothing over our disagreement. “I’m very difficult to kill.”
“You’ll be even more so with me at your side protecting you,” she replied, meeting my gaze. “I’ll keep you alive even if it kills me.”
“Lia, you have to stay here,” I said firmly.
“No,” she snapped. “I don’t have to do anything.”
“There’s no reason for you to worry about me. I can heal from almost any wound,” I said, trying to reassure her.
“Yes, almost,” she pointed out. “Your father, the great general, was the last Lemu born before me, wasn’t he?” she asked.
“You know he was,” I replied sharply, annoyed by the reference.
“Now, remind me again, how this powerful general, a Lemu who should have been almost impossible to kill,” she said, embellishing. “How did the great General P’Tak die?”
“Lia, that was different,” I argued.
“How was it different? Oh, you mean because your father had actual war experience, gained from years in battles under the guidance of Mata, likely the greatest general who’s ever lived,” she said. “I agree with you there. He should have been harder to kill than you would be. But wait, you never answered me. His head was severed, wasn’t it?” she asked, turning to gaze at me, fury obvious in her gaze.
“You know it was, Lia,” I said, growing exasperated.
“I clearly remember Emma explaining how Jestin’s head was severed by one of these painted savages,” Lia said, feigning calm, though I could see her chest rising and falling too quickly. “They even carry a special weapon for the purpose, do they not?” she asked, focusing on me again, her gaze seeming to penetrate my flesh. “It’s a sort of saucer shaped razor, that wraps around their fists. The image is very clear in my mind.”
“What do you want me to do, Lia?” I asked.
“I want you to forget this irrational conviction that you’re responsible for the entire Vilken population. You’re not,” she said calmly. “This territory is within the realm of my mother. These people rely on the Noge Queen for protection, not you.”
“Lore won’t protect them. Even if she wanted to, which I doubt, she’s already embroiled in conflict in Nogeland. I can’t simply allow them to be slaughtered because Lore is busy,” I argued.
“I’m not without compassion for the Vilkerlings, Pet, but I can’t allow you to sacrifice yourself,” she explained in a softer tone. “You will not convince me otherwise. Stop trying.”
I did as she asked, and gave up on trying to reason with Lia. She could be as obtuse as M’Tek when she chose to be. She tried several times to change the subject, to talk of something easier, but I was too distracted to make conversation. We hadn’t spoken for the better part of an hour when we returned to the stable, and far from being relaxed, I was tenser than ever. I quickly dismounted and led Reika to her stall, without even a glance at Lia. I heard her call out to our head groom.
“The grand duchess and I need privacy,” she said sharply. “I want everyone out of the stable, now.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” he replied, sounding surprised.
Usually Lia was very gentle with our staff. They were unaccustomed to being given terse commands. I heard Lia’s boots hit the floor as she dropped from Khol’s back. Abandoning her horse in the aisle, she followed me into Reika’s stall and snatched the reins from my hand, dropping them before pushing me back against the wall. She held my gaze, seeming to want inside my head. When I tried to shift away from her grip she leaned in, capturing my mouth with hers in a passionate kiss.
“Lia, don’t,” I said, pulling away as she started working at the buttons of my tunic. “Not now. Not here.”
“Yes. Now,” she said, her hand easing along the outside of my trousers.
“I don’t want you like this,” I whispered.
“You always want me, Pet,” she replied, proving herself right by eliciting a slight gasp from me as her fingers pressed between my thighs.
“You’re right,” I whispered. “Of course I want you, but not here, not like this,” I said, gripping her wrist to still her hand. “Stop. Now.”
“You know how much I love you,” she whispered, easing her hand from between my legs. “You can’t freeze me out simply because we disagree.”
“All right, Lia,” I said, leaning my head forward against her shoulder. “I won’t freeze you out.” Her arms tightened around me, crushing me against her. “I don’t know what to do, though. I can’t let you have your way this time,” I said next to her ear. “And I can’t let you put yourself in danger.”
“I refuse to argue about this anymore,” she replied. “Clearly I can’t stop you from doing this insane thing. And you can’t stop me from joining you.” Her fingers worked into my hair as she held me close to her. I could tell she was upset and barely maintaining her composure. “Now we prepare for it. We’ll need more soldiers. Have you told Kashun?”
“I have,” I admitted.
“Good,” she replied. “I’ll start studying tactics and strategies. I don’t want to be a hindrance.”
“Lia, you’re not…” I started.
“We’re not arguing about this anymore, Pet,” she said before releasing me. “I need to see to Khol. I left him loose in the aisle.”
-CH 18-
Lia and I didn’t discuss the situation again. In fact we didn’t discuss anything as we left the stable. She was distant with me for the remainder of the day, choosing to spend her time in our hearth room, engrossed in correspondence. I saw three letters leave Lauderdam that afternoon by courier, one to her sister, and one each to her mothers at opposite ends of the twin sovereignties. I assumed she was informing them of my decision to defend the Baneland Territory. It wasn’t until Ania arrived five days later that I guessed Lia had invited her sister to weather the coming storm at Lauderdam
with Astrid and Emma, rather than traveling all the way to Saranedam Palace.
Ania brought with her two trunks filled with Fae books, on loan to us from the great Kantok library. After offering a cursory greeting to her sister, Lia immediately followed our guards, carrying the trunks full of books into our mostly empty library. She didn’t reemerge until late in the afternoon. Ania seemed unfazed by her sister’s lack of courtesy, focusing her attention on Astrid and me, as if we were the ones she had truly come to Lauderdam to visit.
One afternoon a few days after Ania’s arrival, her voice interrupted my planning. “Come and take a walk with me, Pet,” Ania called to me from the open doorway of my office. I’d been absorbed in work for hours, and hadn’t even noted her presence until she spoke.
“I can’t, Ania,” I said, refusing to leave my work. “I have too much work.”
“Would you rather I sit and stare at you while you see to it?” Ania asked, arching an eyebrow, challenging me with an arrogant smile. “Or maybe I could sketch you. You’re a beautiful woman. I could happily sit and contemplate the lines of your face while you obsess over your maps and ledgers.”
“Where’s Lia?” I asked absently, returning my attention to the ledger page listing the weapons to be forged for my burgeoning army, as I contemplated the enormous cost. “You’re her guest, not mine. She should be entertaining you.”
“Lia is reading the Art of Combat,” Ania replied. “Before that it was Combat Strategies and Tactics. You’ve paid more attention to me than my sister has since my arrival, though you’ve hardly noticed me outside the dinning hall.”
I looked up from my work to meet Ania’s gaze. She appeared irritated, possibly hurt. I closed the ledger and stood up from my desk, walking around it to meet Ania.
“All right,” I consented. “We’ll walk. You’ll have to be a bit patient with me, though. My mind is preoccupied with the coming war. I’ll have a word with the captain of my guard while we’re out.”
“I don’t care with whom you’re speaking, as long as you’re speaking,” Ania replied as we headed out to the garden. “I need conversation, even overhearing someone else’s is preferable to this vow of silence you all seem to have taken. Lia has locked herself away in the library. That sullen Vilken countess with the beautiful dark, sad, eyes hardly says two words at a time. Meanwhile, you’re obviously trying to work yourself to death, spending hours a day in this office. I might have gone to Saranedam alone and had more companionship,” Ania complained.
“Lia should have warned you before she invited you,” I said. “These are tense times for us.”
“Well, my sister didn’t actually invite me, at least not in a concrete way,” Ania confessed. “She asked for as many classic books on war as I could lay hands on. My in-laws were so tense over the attacks near the village of Bakerne that I was looking for any excuse to escape them. I took Lia’s request as an invitation to visit you all. I had no idea she would actually read the books herself, or that she would ignore me so completely.”
“You might have been safer at Saranedam Palace,” I observed as we headed off toward the wall, and Kashun. “Countess Emma was a very warm and friendly woman once, before her husband was killed by those savages. They raped and murdered almost everyone she knew in front of her, tried to kill her, and burned her estate,” I said. “She watched as her mate’s head was severed from his body.”
“Deus!” Ania replied, appearing shaken by the image. “That poor woman.”
“The Head Takers usually attack coastal areas, and Marinella Manor was near enough to the water it could be seen clearly from a ship. I’m hoping they aren’t aware of Lauderdam at this point.”
“But we’re safe here,” Ania observed. “This palace is a fortress, and you wouldn’t still have Lia and Astrid here if you couldn’t defend it.”
“We’re safe,” I agreed, meeting her gaze.
“The walls around Lauderdam Palace are thick and tall. And you have an absolute army of guards,” she added, wanting to reassure herself I thought. “I see more of them every day. We’re safe, unless these Vilkerlings betray you, as they did Mamma.”
“The Vilkerlings won’t betray me,” I replied.
“How can you be certain?” Ania asked, sharply. “They’re not known for their honor and loyalty.”
“I’m all these people have to fight against those savages. And I’m building an army to defend them,” I said. “As soon as I have great enough numbers, I’ll lead them against the Head Takers.”
“Deus! Does Mamma know what you’re doing?” Ania asked.
“No. I’m still the Prime of Nogeland, though,” I said. “The Baneland Territory falls under my governance. Lore is defending the Noge, and M’Tek the Fae, but neither can divide their military force at the moment to defend the Vilken people. I have to do what I’m able.”
“Pet, Mamma won’t thank you for raising an unsanctioned army of Vilkerlings within her realm. She’ll see it as an act of treason,” Ania observed. “Mata would forgive you almost anything, apparently, but Mamma’s not so easy. You’re already on shaky ground with her.”
“Right now, Lore is the last person I’m worried about,” I replied. “If she wants to accuse me of treason after I run the Head Takers out of the Baneland Territory, so be it.”
“And what does Lia have to say about all of this?” Ania asked, catching my arm so I’d stop my progress toward the wall. I turned to look at Lia’s sister.
“What do you think, Ania?” I asked.
“There’s distance between you and my sister,” Ania observed. “Since your reemergence in our lives, Lia’s attachment to you has bordered on obsessive,” Ania added. “She’s extremely upset with you, I think, or she would be out here, walking between us, aggrieved by any attention you paid me.”
“Lia’s not pleased with me,” I admitted.
“Why is she studying warfare?” Ania asked. “Certainly you’re not planning to allow her anywhere near a battlefield. Lia’s not like our mothers. That kind of violence would destroy her. She wouldn’t last a week.”
“It’s not my choice. I have no control over her. I never have had any. She insists she’s going if I am,” I said.
“But why would you be going into battle?” Ania asked, appearing genuinely confused. “You’re even less suited for war than Lia.”
“I have no general, Ania,” I said sharply. “The closest I have is the captain of my guard, Kashun. He’s Vilken, and has no formal education. He doesn’t even read. I was educated and trained for this, years ago, as were you, as was Lia. It’s my responsibility to use that knowledge now.”
“Pet, you can’t be serious!” Ania snapped. “You’re many things, a politician, a vintner, an artist, a socialite, but you are not a general,” she pointed out.
“It’s in my blood,” I said. “I’m a Tannuk. My father was…”
“Both of my mothers are great generals. That doesn’t make me think I’m one,” Ania interrupted. “You’re delicate, and kind, and gentle. I doubt you ever even enjoyed hunting as a girl. Even I would be better suited to a battlefield than you.”
“Ania, I have no choice,” I said quietly, lowering my gaze. “I couldn’t live with myself if I did nothing.”
“Do something then, but not this,” Ania replied, shaking her head. “Don’t risk yourself for these coarse peasants. They’re not your people, Pet. You’re Fae, not Vilken.”
I didn’t want to argue with Ania, anymore than I had wanted to argue with Lia. We were at the wall anyway, so I considered the conversation finished, and sent one of the gate guards in search of Kashun. He was easy to locate, and within a few minutes arrived to greet me.
“You Grace,” he said, bowing slightly to me. “We’ve increased the ranks greatly, but we’re having difficulties with housing the new recruits.”
“There’s nothing I can do about that at the moment,” I admitted. “The old Vilken barracks were devastated during the Baneland War. They’re unfit
for habitation. I’ll see to them as soon as I have the workforce. In the meantime, the new recruits will have to reside in tents,” I said.
“I could devote some of the better trained guards to the task of refurbishing the old barracks, Your Grace,” he suggested, not wanting to challenge me, but unsatisfied with my response. “We do not require luxury. The improvements needed are minimal.”
“If you’re certain it won’t interfere with training,” I said.
“I’ll see that it doesn’t,” he assured me.
“Then do as you like,” I replied.
“I have had an unusual volunteer, a great warrior,” Kashun said, growing visibly uncomfortable. “I’ve accepted her, provisionally, depending upon your approval.”
“Why provisionally?” I asked. “We need all the volunteers we can find.” I was confused by his manner. I’d already told him I would take any and all volunteers, but he was clearly uncertain about this one.
“The Changeling Queen sees this warrior as her enemy,” he replied.
I cleared my throat and glanced back at Ania who was waiting for me, and within easy earshot. Ania’s loyalty was clearly to Lore, making the discussion we were about to have unwise, even though we spoke in Vilken. Kashun noticed my hesitancy and his gaze narrowed on Ania. I reached an arm across the older Vilkerling’s shoulders and guided him farther along the wall, away from Ania.
“Who is this warrior?” I asked quietly.
He glanced back at Ania again before meeting my gaze. He forced an awkward smile. “My former general. She claims she’s no enemy of yours, but says the Queens’ would have her head,” he said.
“She’s being dramatic. If Lore wanted her dead she would be dead already,” I said quietly. “So, Kieran has volunteered to serve in my army,” I observed. Kashun nodded.
“I would have refused her, Your Grace, but her experience is valuable. The witch chose her over every other warrior to lead her army,” he explained.
A Fortunate Woman (Fortune's Favor Book 2) Page 31