by Wynne Mabry
“I was thinking it,” Elizabeth admitted with a smile. “I do not know if I can believe you or not. On the one hand, I consider you to be an excellent judge of many things, and on the other, you are too much inclined to think well of people even when they do not deserve it.”
“I hope that I have lately learned to be more discriminating. I can promise you that I no longer think well of Caroline and Louisa. They came to visit this morning, incidentally, and they treated me as though I was their dearest friend, as well as being very polite to my aunt. Caroline made all sort of excuses for her behaviour to me in January, but I was not fooled. She was all too happy to drop my acquaintance at that time, and she lied when she gave me to believe that Charles was aware of my presence in London. He told me that he never knew. It was all a pretense of friendship this morning, which I pretended to believe in turn, but I do not feel comfortable with them.”
“I can imagine not. I suppose they must have felt compelled to acknowledge you, but they cannot have liked it.”
“No, I am sure they did not. Anyway, I shall never trust them again or feel any affection for them.”
“Good for you.”
“There was no discomfort or awkwardness with Mr. Darcy though. When he dined here, we had an exceptionally pleasant evening. It is a pity he could not come again.”
“Was he invited?”
“Yes, my uncle asked him to spend another evening with us once you were here, but he had to go out of town.”
Elizabeth doubted the truth of that. Naturally, he had wanted to avoid seeing her again. But it did sound as though he really had been pleasant to her relatives, which she was happy to hear. Perhaps he had taken some of her words to heart. She had been very critical of him after his proposal.
She recollected having used the words selfish disdain. Any man might be moved by hearing himself so reviled. Well, if that had caused him to reconsider his ways of interacting with people, then she was glad of it. Both the world and Mr. Darcy would benefit from such a change.
She was a little sorry that he had not dared to attempt an evening in her company. She felt very curious to know this agreeable Mr. Darcy whom Jane had described. And if he had come, it would have been a chance for her to make up for having been so harsh upon him. Still, with Jane marrying his closest friend, they were bound to see each other sooner or later, so there would eventually be an opportunity for her to show that she could also be polite to him.
Although Mr. Darcy was either out of town or pretending to be, Elizabeth saw much of Mr. Bingley during her few days in London. Besides calling every morning, he came to dine twice, and once they went to walk in the park with him. While there, Elizabeth received an unexpected introduction to Miss Darcy, who was out walking with her companion.
She was obviously a very shy person, and there was not much conversation between them, but she smiled very sweetly, and she found the words to express her pleasure at hearing of Mr. Bingley’s engagement. Since Miss Bingley had once told Jane that she expected her brother to marry Miss Darcy, Elizabeth thought that this was a fortuitous meeting. There were no signs that either of them had ever considered such a thing. They were friendly, but in a slightly distant way, and Miss Darcy was quite formal in her address to her brother’s friend.
“Miss Darcy is a very quiet girl,” Jane said afterwards. “She is not what I had imagined. Miss Bingley’s letters gave me the idea of somebody with great self-possession and confidence.”
“Mr. Wickham gave me a rather different idea as well,” Elizabeth admitted. “He said that she was extremely proud.”
“It is very strange that he should be so mistaken. She was not at all proud.”
“No, she was not, but I do not think he was mistaken. I believe it was a deliberate misrepresentation. While we are on the subject of Mr. Wickham, there is something that I have not yet told you.”
She could not tell Jane about the proposal. Now that her sister and Mr. Bingley were engaged, they would share everything, and Elizabeth was certain that Mr. Darcy had not chosen to tell his friend. Being incapable of deception, Mr. Bingley would probably have been awkward in her presence. At the very least, he would have blushed, but he had not treated her as though there was anything unusual on his mind.
From this, she had to conclude that Mr. Darcy had preferred to keep the matter private, which she had to respect. As much as she would have liked to discuss the whole incident with Jane and relieve some of the burden upon her mind, she felt obligated to keep quiet about almost everything, but there was one thing which she felt should be mentioned – the truth about Mr. Wickham.
Not all of it could be revealed. The part about him trying to elope with Miss Darcy had to be kept secret. It was impossible that Mr. Darcy would have told her that in ordinary circumstances. He could have spoken about the living though. It was only necessary for Elizabeth to conceal that she had learned of it in a letter.
Pretending that it had come up in conversation, she told Jane the real circumstances concerning the living which Mr. Wickham had claimed was denied to him. “I now believe that he lied,” she said. “Everything Mr. Darcy told me had a ring of truth to it. He spoke plainly and openly on the subject, without prevaricating about details, and he was willing for me to confirm everything with his cousin if I chose. I did not think it was necessary. I am convinced that he was absolutely honest, and that Mr. Wickham misrepresented the matter in order to gain sympathy, and perhaps also to turn people against Mr. Darcy for his own satisfaction. I believe he spoke harshly of Miss Darcy because he has a grudge against her brother.”
Jane was sad to think that any acquaintance of theirs could be dishonest, but she agreed that it seemed Mr. Wickham was not a man to be trusted. Being able to convey this warning gave Elizabeth some relief. She was also able to share some small part of her feelings, by saying, “You were right when you counselled me to be cautious about blaming Mr. Darcy for Mr. Wickham’s woes. I am now very ashamed that I did.”
This communication made her feel a little better. The rest she had to keep bottled up. She could not talk about the turmoil of feelings which Mr. Darcy’s proposal had caused or her surprise that he had made another one immediately afterward. She could not tell her sister that despite not even liking him, she kept wondering if he had rushed into an engagement with a person who meant nothing to him. She could not share her concern that Mr. Darcy might be on the verge of making a dreadful mistake. Or a nagging worry that her acrimonious refusal of his proposal had influenced that choice.
Back at Longbourn
“I knew that Mr. Bingley would propose eventually,” Mrs. Bennet said when her two eldest daughters returned home. “It was only a matter of time. I said he would not be able to forget Jane.”
“You said it was a travesty that he had forgotten her so easily,” Mary protested.
“No, I did not. You must have misunderstood. I am sure that I only said it would be a travesty if he did, but I was always certain that he could not.”
Mary shook her head, which Elizabeth saw, but their mother did not. She was too busy talking of pin money, carriages and a house in town.
“You must have all your sisters to stay with you in London this winter,” she instructed Jane. “Then they can find wealthy husbands as well.”
“I do not yet know if we will be in London,” Jane said falteringly.
“Of course you will. Where else would you be when the season is in full swing? Naturally Mr. Bingley will want to show off his bride.”
That led her to talk about the jewels he would undoubtedly shower upon his wife. As Mrs. Bennet was anticipating sapphires, emeralds, and diamonds, Elizabeth was thinking that things like love, compatibility, and mutual respect had not once been mentioned. All of her mother’s reasons for rejoicing had to do with wealth. She was as bad as Lady Catherine in that regard, except for wanting a share of that which her ladyship would prefer not to be spread about too liberally.
Elizabeth was very much aware that
her mother would have been horrified to know she had turned down a man with twice Mr. Bingley’s wealth. It was fortunate that Mr. Darcy had acted with some discretion. If Charlotte and Maria had known of the proposal, then they would likely have shared that bit of news with their family, and Lady Lucas would have been unable to resist coming to Longbourn to discuss the subject with Mrs. Bennet. Elizabeth could imagine the kerfuffle which such a visit would have caused. Her mother would have been furious at her decision for a second time.
Eventually she was asked whether or not she had met anybody at Rosings. “Lady Catherine must be acquainted with a great many eligible young men,” Mrs. Bennet observed.
“She might be,” Elizabeth replied, “but if so, I did not meet any of them.”
Jane glanced up at her questioningly, but she afterwards salved her conscience by pointing out that she had already known Mr. Darcy rather than meeting him there. “And by his own admission of being quite poor, Colonel Fitzwilliam cannot be called eligible.”
“Surely he is not poor,” Jane queried. How can the son of an earl be poor?”
“Very easily apparently, because he is accustomed to a certain style of living. Colonel Fitzwilliam was quite open about his inability to do without, but very amusing as well, so I could only feel sympathetic to his plight.”
Jane laughed. “He sounded amusing from your descriptions of him. I hope that we shall meet some day.”
“I expect you probably will. I suppose you will see plenty of Mr. Darcy after your marriage.”
“And so will you, Lizzy. Charles has already said that he hopes you will come and live with us.”
“How very kind of him, but I would not want to impose upon you.”
“It could never be an imposition. He has a great liking for you. Even more than his sisters, he said, for you are much more agreeable. And you know that I would hate to be parted from you.”
Mr. Bingley repeated this offer to Elizabeth a few days later, and she was happy to accept. On hearing this, Mrs. Bennet caused him some awkwardness by hinted that they should all go, but after some hemming a hawing, he came up with the excuse that he was only going to take a small house.
He spent most of May at Netherfield, calling daily at Longbourn, and spending many hours with Jane, except for the couple of days that he went away in order to attend Mr. Darcy’s wedding.
It was about the same time that Lydia went away to Brighton. She was invited there by her friend Mrs. Forster, who was married to the colonel of the regiment to which Mr. Wickham belonged. Elizabeth was relieved by his departure from Meryton. Knowing the truth of his past, she had found it awkward to see him again after her return from Kent, and she had done her best to minimise their interaction.
Mrs. Bennet was not so pleased about Lydia’s departure. “You cannot accept,” she had said upon learning of Mrs. Forster’s invitation. “You must be here for Jane’s wedding at the end of June.”
When her daughter made a great fuss, she said, “It is only Brighton. It would be fun, of course, but you will not meet anybody of importance there.”
As it was the opportunity for fun which Lydia lamented, she continued to make such a fuss that Mr. Bennet eventually insisted that she need not be required to attend her sister’s wedding. As all the commotion was giving her a headache, Mrs. Bennet relented and allowed that Lydia might as well enjoy herself in Brighton. “After all, the London season is more important than the wedding,” she declared. “A summer at the seaside will put you in fine looks for catching a husband this winter.”
Elizabeth was dubious about Lydia’s ability to behave herself in Brighton, but that concern was outweighed by a relief that her youngest sister would not be present at the wedding, which Mr. Darcy was to attend. Of all his criticisms of her family, the most serious was their lack of propriety, and Lydia was the greatest offender.
A Lovely Day for a Wedding
Mr. Darcy’s wedding took place on a dreary day. He looked at the grey sky that morning and thought the weather very suitable for the occasion. In the days leading up to the wedding, he had been feeling more and more dismal about the future he had so hastily chosen for himself.
Naturally Lady Catherine was in high spirits. After looking out of the window, she said that it was better not to have a wedding on too hot a day. “That would be too fatiguing,” she declared. “This weather will suit us very well. It is a pleasant day with just a light breeze. I do not think it will rain either. The clouds are not very heavy.”
Mr. Darcy thought that the cloud hanging over him was a heavy one. Oh, to be able to go back and undo that fateful day! But one could only move forward.
“What a lovely day for a wedding,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said sarcastically to him in a private moment. “You could run away,” he added. “I can tell by your expression that you already have regrets.”
“I am fine,” Mr. Darcy said.
“You are not,” his cousin countered. “I am sure our aunt will not sue you for breach of promise. She would not like the notoriety.”
“I am sure that she would come after me and hound me to go through with the marriage. She would dislike the notoriety of a runaway groom even more. So would I, as you know very well. It is no good trying to save me, Richard. I made the offer, and I will live up to it.”
“I knew you would, but I had to try. This is a very sad day. I am certainly not sharing in my aunt’s joy.”
“That is why I did not ask you to stand up with me. In other circumstances it would have been hard to choose between you and Bingley, both equally dear to me, but I doubted that you could bear it. I believe that he will find it less difficult, especially as I have not told him the truth about Elizabeth. That is our secret alone.”
Although he did not know everything, Mr. Bingley was still in an uncertain mood. He did not smile at all, which was extremely rare for him.
We must look a fine pair, Mr. Darcy thought as they stood at the altar awaiting the bride’s arrival. He just hoped that nobody would attribute their expressions to anything other than a respect for the seriousness of the occasion.
The bride entered the church, wearing a lavish dress which he knew had been purchased at the same time as her court dress. It was just as uncomplimentary to her appearance. There was no joy in her expression either. She came up the aisle looking as though it was just any other day. It occurred to him that Elizabeth often had more animation in her face for much less cause. If only she were the person walking toward him at that moment.
He pushed thoughts of her away and forced himself to focus upon the lusterless lady who was about to become his wife. With a heavy heart, he went through the ceremony and bound himself to somebody who was almost a stranger to him. In all the years of knowing each other, they had shared very little. Whenever he saw her, Anne had always been uninteresting and disinterested.
The register was signed, and they walked back down the aisle and emerged from the church into pouring rain. So it begins, Mr. Darcy thought dismally.
At the wedding breakfast, he and Anne said almost nothing to each other. She sat looking bored and with Mrs. Jenkinson in attendance upon her as usual. Seeing that he was not required, Mr. Darcy went to enjoy more agreeable company in the form of his sister, her companion, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Mr. Bingley.
Lord Matlock made a speech which had much to do with the illustrious nature of the match and the uniting of two grand estates. Very appropriately, he said nothing of affection.
Mr. Collins also made a speech, although he had not been invited to do so. With a great many bows to Lady Catherine and nods to his obviously embarrassed wife, he spouted some nonsense about the happiness of matrimony. Love did not figure in his speech either, and he seemed to have forgotten exactly whom he had joined in matrimony that morning. Mr. Darcy was quite content to be forgotten though.
Once the breakfast was over, the bride and groom, along with his sister and two companions, departed for London. Anne had not wanted the exertion of a weddi
ng journey, which suited Mr. Darcy very well. Since they had little to talk about, it was better for them not to be alone together. In London they would have other company to keep them from being utterly bored with each other.
The journey there already proved the usefulness of other company. Anne was swathed in blankets, which Mrs. Jenkinson had carefully arranged. The two of them shared a seat and talked in low tones only to each other. Georgiana was quiet and appeared to be deep in gloomy thought. Mr. Darcy was very grateful to Mrs. Annesley for conversing with him and for discussing current events, a blessedly impersonal subject.
When they arrived at his London house, Anne declared herself to be exhausted and took to her bed. That was where she stayed for the rest of the day. At dinner, she had a tray in her room along with Mrs. Jenkinson, and Mr. Darcy dined with Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley as though he had not been married that morning.
The day closed with him sitting alone in the library. This was a poor excuse for a wedding night, but as the bride was not the lady he desired, he might just as well keep company with a book. He did not pay much attention to it though. His mind kept wandering to Elizabeth. If she had been his wife, he would not be sitting on his own or feeling indifferent.
A Catastrophic Failure
The next day, Anne said and did very little. Mr. Darcy asked her to accompany him on his walk in the park, but she thought it sounded too fatiguing. He was quite content to go with only Georgiana anyway. The two of them chatted without making any mention of the wedding, or even of his wife.
Anne was not interested in going out that evening either, so they stayed at home and played cards instead. Once again, Mrs. Annesley supplied most of the conversation. She carried the weight of the evening. Anne said nothing which did not have to do with the game, and Mrs. Jenkinson was the same, except for frequently asking if Mrs. Darcy was comfortable or if she needed anything. As it was a four-person game, Georgiana had chosen to read instead, and she was focused entirely upon her book. Mr. Darcy kept wishing he had been the one to sit out.