by Kelly Moore
Chapter Fourteen
The food comes, and both of us scarf it down like we are starving. I finish long before her and sit back and watch her. Noah’s right; it’s hard to look. She doesn’t say a word. She just keeps shoveling it in until every bit is gone.
I throw my napkin on the table. “Is there anything else I can get you?”
“Do you have any ice cream?” She looks hopeful.
“No, and if you keep eating like that, I’m going to kick you out too.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” She squints at me.
“I wouldn’t.” I smile and clean off the table before she decides to munch on the paper plates and napkins.
“I’ll go upstairs and get my laptop so we can watch it in the living room.” I make it to the bottom step and turn around. “Do not leave this house and try to visit Noah.”
She was halfway out of her chair, and she plops back down. “You two really have it in for the horny pregnant woman.”
I literally run up the stairs because I know left alone too long, she will slip out and go next door. I come back downstairs, and she’s already sitting in the living room waiting. She tucks her phone under her thigh when I set the laptop on the coffee table.
“Did you call him?”
“You said I couldn’t go see him, not that I couldn’t call him.”
“What did he say?”
“He said,” she deepens her voice like Noah, “no, I’m not having phone sex either.”
I roar in laughter and hold my hand out. “Give me your phone!”
She untucks it from her thigh and slaps it in the palm of my hand. “I hate both of you.”
“That won’t last long.” I sit beside her and put the thumb drive in its slot. I pick up the laptop and place it in my lap. Charlie leans her head on my shoulder.
When I push play, I’m taken back by Silas’s appearance. He’s not recording from his office this time, but from our downstairs den where his hospital bed was brought in. The date on it is four days before he died. His skin tone is yellow, and he’s wearing oxygen tubing in his nose. His eyes look glassy, probably from the pain meds he was on. It’s dark, and he has the light shining from his phone that makes a halo effect on his face. He’s so thin and frail.
“Hey, doll,” he says and sounds raspy. “I’m sorry I’m not my perky self.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Thank you for helping me make it onto the porch today. I loved watching the sunset with you.” He coughs and has to catch his breath.
I hit pause. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“I’m right here with you.” Charlie takes my hand in hers. “He obviously wanted to tell you something.”
I hit play.
“Sorry about that. Did you get your book published yet?”
“Yes.” I got a call on my way home from Thailand that it was done being edited, and the editor hand delivered it to the publisher. She said it was so good that she couldn’t wait to give it to them.
“I knew you could do it. You wrote the story of us, didn’t you?”
“How does he know this shit?” Charlie asks, and I shrug.
“Since I forced your hand to follow a dream of yours, I finished one of my dreams.”
“You wrote a song?” I ask like he can hear me.
“I wrote you a song. Do you want to hear it?”
“Yes!” I yell.
“Nah, you don’t want to hear it.” He waves me off in the camera.
“Yes, I do!” I yell again.
“Yes, she does!” Charlie joins in.
“Okay, you convinced me, but you have to be patient. I’m a little short of breath.” He reaches over the side of the bed and grabs his guitar. He strums a few chords and hums a couple of notes.
“It has a great title. I bet you can’t guess what it is?”
“Life Goes On,” I whisper.
He taps his finger to his temple. “Ah, smart girl. I’ve only been telling you for months.”
“God I miss him,” Charlie says.
“Me too.”
“This song is to help remind you how I feel about you and that I want you to love again.” He wipes away a tear, and a sob comes out of me. “I’m a selfish man and wish I could live forever with you and kiss you every day, but it’s not in the cards for me, doll. So, I want you to really listen to the words and take them to heart.”
He strums his guitar again and softly starts to sing.
* * *
I wish I would’ve never had to say goodbye.
My heart aches, thinking about leaving you alone.
I cry for you.
I knew it would be the last time I’d get to see you.
With my last breath, it broke my heart in two
Knowing I couldn’t take you with me.
* * *
I’ll never feel another’s touch
Or taste your sweet lips.
I’ll never have another first kiss
And my heart will never belong to another,
But yours will.
Life Goes On.
* * *
You’ll know another’s kiss
And give your heart away.
You’ll have another day begin
And let the sunshine in
And you’ll love again,
Because life goes on.
* * *
You gave me love beyond measure
When we first met.
I thought I’d never find love
In the arms of another,
But you made my world turn
And now you believe yours will stop spinning
Because I’m gone
But, baby, life goes on.
* * *
I want you to know another kiss
And to give your heart away
And to know love again.
Another’s touch can help heal the pain of losing me.
It can start a fire in your heart
Because, baby, life goes on.
My eyes are so wet, I can barely see the screen, but I listen to every word. He has to stop several times and catch his breath. It’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard, and the music he wrote goes with it so well.
When he plays the last chord, Charlie sobs out loud. “That was beautiful,” she cries.
“That’s it, doll. I’ve been working on it for a while, and I recorded it onto a disk. You’ll find a copy of it in the yellow shoebox. I put it in there because I know you really don’t like them and wouldn’t be wearing them anytime soon.” His facial expression grows serious. “This is the last video, but please don’t be sad. All I want, all I’ve ever wanted, was for you to be happy. Go find that person to love like I’ve loved you. I love you, doll.” He kisses the tips of his fingers and lays them over the camera. It goes black and ends.
Charlie cries harder. She looks over at me. “How are you not losing it right now?”
It’s not until then that I realize I’m no longer crying. “Because he loved me enough to let me go, and I’m going to do the same for him. You heard the words to the song. He’s been telling me for months, preparing me for my life to go on. Silas has done what no husband should have to do. He’s told me and encouraged me to love again. He’s right. He’ll never have any of those things again, but I will.”
“You’re so brave. I think I would curl up and die if anything happened to Noah.”
“That’s exactly what I did for months. If it wasn’t for you, Noah, and these videos that Silas made, I still wouldn’t have come out of my room.”
“So, this is it. It’s really the last video?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to throw Silas a party and invite everyone he knew.”
She perks up. “Are you going to invite Clay?”
“I’ll send him an email, but I don’t know if he’ll get it in time.” I stand.
“Where are you going?”
“To ge
t the recording Silas made. I want to listen to it a million more times.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
I reach over and pull the thumb drive out. “Take this to your house and let Noah watch it. He’ll get so emotional, he’ll bend you over the couch and screw your brains out.”
She hops off the couch. “That’s a great idea!” She heads for the door.
“Go easy on him!” I yell after her and laugh.
I go to my closet and grab the yellow box. I put the disk into my laptop and connect my headset with my Bluetooth. I slide under the covers with a smile and listen to the love song my husband wrote for me.
Chapter Fifteen
“Are you nervous?” Charlie is uncovering the food I had catered for the party.
“I’m worried the way you’re eyeballing the food, that I didn’t order enough.”
Noah comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her baby bump. “She’s eating everything in sight.” He kisses the side of her neck.
“I’d be careful if I were you. Her hormones are still raging, so unless you want to be MIA for the party, you need to keep your hands to yourself.” I laugh.
He takes a step back and drops his hands.
“Hey!” She reaches behind her and grabs them, placing them back on her stomach. “I’ll behave. I promise.” I see her cross her fingers.
“I better not find the two of you in my den again.” I shake a finger at them.
“That was kind of embarrassing,” Noah says.
“I don’t know why you felt the need to come to my house and screw around,” I mumble.
“The boys were home, and Noah here is a screamer.”
“And you thought I’d want to hear him?”
“We didn’t think you were home. I called your name when we came in. How was I supposed to know you were taking a walk on the beach?”
“You scared the shit out of me. I snatched a bat from the closet when I heard a crash. I could’ve killed you.”
“Oh, yeah, we still owe her a few picture frames from knocking them off the wall.” She looks over her shoulder at him.
“Don’t worry about the frames. Just promise me I won’t have to see your husband’s junk again.”
She reaches low behind her and cups his crotch. “You have such a nice package, baby.”
“This”—I point between them—“cannot happen at the party.” I smile because I’m really jealous of the love they have for each other.
“Did you hear back from him?” Charlie asks.
“No. I’m sure he’s deep in the mountains of somewhere.”
“I know you tried to reach him too. Did you hear from him?” she asks Noah.
He shakes his head and presses his lips together. “I’m sorry, Liv.”
“It’s okay. It was a long shot. If it was meant to be, it would happen.”
“There are going to be a lot of sexy men here tonight. Why don’t you go put on that little strapless dress we picked up at the store the other day?” She turns to look at Noah. “She looks really hot in it. It’s sure to get her a guy.”
“How about you let her worry about her love life?”
“Nobody mentioned love. She needs to have some down-and-dirty sex.”
“No, that’s you.” I laugh.
“She doesn’t need the encouragement.” Noah picks up the trays and starts taking them outside. “The guests should start rolling in any minute.”
“I can’t believe it’s been a year already,” I say under my breath. Time has made the pain ease, but I still miss him. Not every moment of every day like I did in the beginning, but I will always have a space in my heart where he lives. He’s tucked deep inside where I’ll keep him forever.
Guests start pouring in. I invited over two hundred people, and almost all of them said they were coming. I offered to fly Silas’s parents out, but his father wasn’t up to making the trip.
The band cranks up, and the line to the outside bar is busy. I have two signs posted. One is “All tips will go to the local rescue dog mission” just like Silas had set up at his funeral. The other is donations to be divided among the village Silas helped, and the one I went to in Thailand.
I mingle among the sea of people, and I get several compliments on my dress. I do look pretty damn good in it if I say so myself. I take my shoes off and dance. Sometimes alone, sometimes with a few men. A slow song comes on, and I’m dancing with Noah’s brother when I feel a hand grasp my shoulder.
“May I cut in?” I know the voice, and I’m in complete disbelief when I turn around and see Clay’s handsome face.
“I didn’t think you were coming.” I move into his arms.
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“You did, and I’m so glad you came.”
“Nice place you have here.” We sway with the music, and I feel something brush up against my legs. Murphy is sitting on the dance floor, looking up at Clay. He leans down to pet him, and Murphy licks his face like he used to do to Silas.
Silas’s words ring in my ears. “Bring him home to meet Murphy. He’ll know if he’s a good guy.”
“What’s his name?”
“This is Murphy. He was Silas’s dog.”
Murphy props his foot in the air for Clay to shake his paw. “It’s nice to meet you, Murphy.” He stands, and we start swaying again.
“How long can you stay?”
“I have a week off before I go to Scotland this time.”
“Will you stay with me…here?”
“I would stay with you anywhere.” He dips in and captures my lips. I get lost in him, forgetting about the people around us.
“Um…hum…” Someone clears their throat. I look up, and Noah is staring at us with Charlie wrapped around his arm. “Who is this?” he asks in protective mode.
“This is Clay Dunn.”
“Oh my gosh.” Charlie lunges herself at him. “I’ve heard so much about you, and I’m so glad you’re here.” She squeezes him really tight, pushing her belly into him.
“Honey, let the man breathe.” Noah pulls her off him. “I’m Noah. You and I’ve spoken via email many times. I understand you and Silas were friends.” He shakes his hand.
“Silas was a good man. He and I had been on many adventures through the years.”
“Are you staying?” Charlie is almost jumping for joy.
“Charlie!”
“It’s okay,” Clay says. “I think these two are looking out for your best interest.”
“Yeah, what he said, but I just want to know if you’re going to be hanging around for a few days.” She places one hand on her hip and points a finger at me. “This one here could use…” Noah’s large hand clamps over her mouth.
“You’ll have to forgive her. It’s the pregnancy hormones. She has no filter.”
I’m so thankful for Noah because I have an idea of what Charlie was going to blurt out, and I think I would’ve died of embarrassment right here on the dance floor.
“Maybe we should go mingle somewhere else.” I drag him off the dance floor and head for the beach.
Noah keeps his hand over Charlie’s mouth as he moves her inside. I laugh to myself because I have a feeling the two of them will either end up in the den again or maybe the pantry.
“They are my best friends, and they mean well.”
“It’s okay. I get it. You’ve been hurt enough this year. They don’t want some stranger sweeping in and breaking your heart.”
“Are you going to break my heart?” I whisper and gaze into his blue eyes.
“That’s not my intention.”
“What are your intentions?”
“To make a hot little number in a sexy red dress fall in love with me.” He draws me into him.
“I think I can do that now.”
He blows out a long breath. “You know my life.”
I place my hand on his cheek. “I do. If I’ve learned anything over the past year, it’s to appreciate any moments I can share with
another person. I don’t want to change you, and I don’t want to lose the person I’ve become.”
“Does that mean I’ll be staying in your bed with you and not in your guest room?”
“Yes.”
He leans in and kisses me with a passion I haven’t felt from him in any of our other kisses. We are both breathing hard when we pull apart. He presses his forehead to mine. “You know if I were to change my life for anyone, it would be you.”
“I’m not asking you to change, Clay. I do think we need to get back to the party.”
He takes my hand and leads me back up to the crowd of people. We spend our evening laughing and listening to people tell stories of Silas. Most of them I had heard before, but there were a few new ones.
Noah and Charlie come out of the house and join us. Charlie has red marks on her neck, and I know damn good and well what they were doing, and I couldn’t be happier for them.
Charlie talks Clay’s ear off.
“He seems like a good guy,” Noah whispers to me.
“He is.”
“I think Silas is smiling down on us tonight.”
I gaze up at the stars. “I think you’re right.”
Chapter Sixteen
“Thanks for coming,” I tell the last of our guests who’re leaving. I shut the door and feel a strong pair of arms wrap around me from behind.
“It’s two in the morning.” His lips are on the back of my neck, and I rest my head on him. “Do you want to get some sleep?” His voice is sexy, and I know that’s not what he’s really asking me.
“Sleep is the last thing I’m thinking about.”
“Good.” His hands weave behind me, and I feel the pull of my zipper between my shoulder blades. “I love this dress on you, but I think it would look much better on the floor.” His lips skim down my shoulder.
“Mmm…that feels good.”
“I’ve only just started.” He pushes my dress down my hips, and I step out of it. I’m left in my lacy panties and my black heels. I lean down to slide my finger behind the strap. “Leave them on.” His voice is so silky.