by Kelly Moore
“Have you had anything to eat or drink?”
He shakes his head. “I haven’t wanted to leave her side. They take Silas in and out to the nursery to feed him.”
“This is what you are going to do because you need to take care of yourself. I’m going to sit right here while you go to the cafeteria and get something to eat. I promise I won’t leave her side.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Then go outside and get some fresh air. Call the boys, do something. You need a break.”
He nods and gets up. A nurse walks in and wheels Silas out. I sit on the edge of the bed next to Charlie.
“You have to be okay.” I rub her arm. “These boys will never make it without you, and neither will I. You can’t do this to me. I already lost Silas. I can’t lose you too.”
The next couple of days, there are no changes with Charlie. Noah and I have taken turns going home to see the boys. I’ve spent more time with Silas. I noticed that Noah hasn’t really bonded with him. I think he’s afraid to get close to him or that somehow it was the baby’s fault that Charlie fell down the stairs. I’m not sure which, and he’s so distraught, now is not the time to ask him. So I spend as much time holding Silas as I can.
I’ve tried Clay’s phone a hundred times, and every time it goes straight to voicemail. I sure wish he was here.
I’m sitting on the bed rocking Silas back and forth, and I see Charlie’s hand move. I hop up. “Noah!” He stepped outside the room to make a phone call to the boys.
He pokes his head in the door with the phone still to his ear. “What?”
“She’s moving.”
His phone hits the floor as he drops it and runs in the room. “Charlie.” He takes her hand and squeezes it. His eyes light up when her fingers tighten around his. “Go get the nurse,” he says.
I lay Silas in his bed and rush to the nurses’ station. When she comes back in the room with me, Charlie has her eyes open.
“Thank god, you’re back.” Noah leans down and kisses her lips.
“Where am I?” Her voice is soft, but I can hear her.
“You’re in the hospital.”
She lifts her hand slowly and places it on her belly. “The baby,” she whispers.
“The baby is fine. Look,” he says, pointing.
I pick up Silas and take him to her.
“You’re here,” she says to me.
“There is no place else I’d be.” I lay the baby on her stomach, and she nuzzles into him.
“Is he okay?”
“He’s perfect,” Noah responds.
“What happened?”
“You fell down the stairs. Do you remember anything?”
She kisses the baby and lays her head back. “I remember feeling light-headed, and I tried to yell for you, but nothing came out. That’s the last thing I remember.”
“I was so damn scared when I found you.” Noah is crying again. “I thought I had lost you and the baby.”
“It’s okay now,” she shushes him and holds him close with the baby. “We’re all going to be all right,” she tries to soothe him.
He sits up and wipes away his tears.
“Have the boys met their brother?” she asks.
“No.” He shakes his head. “I need to call them and let them know that you’re okay.” He stands and picks up his phone off the ground. I step back and let the nurse examine Charlie.
“I’ll give the doctor a call,” she says and walks out of the room.
I sit next to Charlie. “You had us all scared. Poor Noah was a mess.”
“Thank you for taking care of him and the baby.”
“Of course. I don’t think Noah has bonded with the baby yet. He’s been too scared.”
“He will.” She kisses the top of the baby’s head.
Noah comes back in the room looking like a new man. All the worry that had gathered on his face is gone. He’s all smiles. He walks over to Charlie and takes Silas from her and starts cooing at him.
Charlie winks at me. “My boys will all be fine.”
Three days later, Charlie and the baby come home from the hospital. She’s weak and sore, but she’s going to be okay. The doctor told Noah it was nothing short of a miracle.
After the twins spent time with her and the baby went down for a nap, I insisted she take one too. I get a blanket and cover her up on the couch.
“If the baby wakes up, I’ll take care of him. Noah ran to the office to get a few things done.”
“I need to tell you something,” she says as she wrings her fingers together.
“You’re scaring me.” I sit on the floor next to her.
“I saw him.”
“You saw who?”
“Silas.”
“I know you’ve seen the baby.” I laugh and tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.
“Not the baby. I saw your Silas.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I was in a coma. I was in this bright, beautiful field full of purple flowers. I saw a man in the distance and didn’t know who it was until he came close to me. It was Silas.”
I cover my mouth. “How was he?”
“He looked good, healthy. He asked about you, and I told him how far you had come thanks to his videos.”
“Did you tell him about Clay?”
“Yes, and he was so happy for you.”
“What else?”
“He told me I had to come back, that it wasn’t my time. He also said to tell you to enjoy your life.”
“That sounds like him.” I smile through a tear.
She draws the blanket up around her. “I’m so tired,” she says as she closes her eyes and drifts off.
I don’t know what I believe about the afterlife, but I believe what she told me, and I like the thought of Silas watching over all of us.
Chapter Nineteen
Over the last three weeks, things have gotten back to normal at Noah and Charlie’s house, minus a baby that has his days and nights mixed up. Murphy and I have spent more time at their house than ours.
“Dinner is made, Charlie. All you have to do is throw it in the oven to heat,” I say as I walk into the living room where she is rocking the baby.
“You’ve been such a lifesaver. Thank you for all that you’ve done for us.”
“That’s what friends are for. I’m going to take Murphy and go home and spend the night at my house tonight.”
“You know you didn’t have to sleep here, right?”
“I wanted to. Love you. You know where I am if you need me.”
“We’ll be okay.”
“Come on, Murphy. Let’s go home.” He gets up from his soft, cushy spot and follows me.
When I walk up to the porch of the house, I notice the screen door is ajar. Murphy starts barking and waggling his tail. “Maybe I didn’t shut it, boy.” I open the screen door and then the front door and walk inside. Murphy immediately runs up the stairs. I listen for a moment but don’t hear anything.
I go into the kitchen and clean up a few glasses I left in the sink, and I hear Murphy bark. It’s then I realize I left my cell phone at Charlie’s house. I walk over to the hall closet, pull out the bat, and quietly make my way up the stairs, avoiding the ones I know will creak.
Murphy is sitting outside the master bathroom, looking at the doorknob. I don’t usually shut the door.
I’m startled when I hear the faucet come on. I raise the bat just as the door flies open.
Clay jumps, and I scream. “It’s just me!” He’s freshly showered and drying his hair. Murphy jumps all over him.
“You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?”
He’s squatting down, scratching Murphy’s ears. “I wanted to surprise you. I got back a week early and came straight here. You left me a ton of messages. Thank goodness I listened to all of them or I wouldn’t know that Charlie and the baby are okay.” He stands.
“You should’ve called me to tell me you were coming.”
I lean the bat against the wall.
“Do you want me to leave and come back?”
“No, I’m sorry. I was taken off guard.” I walk into his open arms.
“I figured you were at Charlie’s, and I didn’t get a chance to get cleaned up, so I thought I’d shower and then head next door.”
“Good, I don’t like a smelly man.” I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him.
“That’s more the greeting I was looking for.” He pats me on the ass. “I want to know everything that’s happened since I’ve been gone.”
“Then let’s go get comfortable because there’s a lot to tell, and I want every detail of your adventure too. And pictures. I love Scotland.”
I fix us a glass of wine and get comfy on the couch, sitting as close to him as I can. I tell him all about Charlie and the accident. I even share what she told me about seeing Silas. Then I get to the more personal stuff.
“My romance book is a number one best seller. After my interview on the Today Show—”
He cuts me off.
“You were on the Today Show?”
“Yep, I flew to New York. Right after the show is when I got the call from Noah.”
“I think you being a best-selling author warrants a celebration. Run upstairs and put on a fancy dress. I’m taking you out.”
“Let me call Charlie and tell her.”
“No, you go get ready. I’m going to go next door and meet the new baby. I’ll let her know you will be indisposed.” He winks at me.
“Okay.” I run upstairs and get in the shower. It’s been a few days since I’ve shaved my legs and groomed my girly parts, and I want to look perfect. I blow out my hair and throw in a few curls. I take my time applying my makeup and make my lashes look full. I apply a soft shade of pink lipstick and smack my lips together. I pick out my best perfume and spritz a little on my neck.
I open my closet door and push back clothes, looking for my favorite gray strapless, form-fitting sequined dress. I find the matching shoes and lay them on the bed. “I know I have garters somewhere.” I pull open every drawer until I find them and my thigh-high hose. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I carefully pull them on and slip on a pair of matching gray panties. I fasten the garters and then slide into my dress. Adjusting my breasts to set high in my dress, I pull down the hem and walk over to the standing mirror. I look over my shoulder to where the dip of my dress sets low on my back. “He’ll like this,” I say out loud.
“Yes, he will.” Clay is standing right behind me in a white button-down, long-sleeve shirt and a pair of black dress slacks.
“Damn, you look hot.”
“Charlie let me borrow some of Noah’s clothes. I don’t have any suits. The jacket was too tight, but these will do. Thank god we have the same size feet.”
“You fill these out nicely,” I say and lay my hand on his tented crotch.
“It’s that dress.” He faces me toward the mirror. “Not really the dress, but the beautiful lady whose body it’s hugging.” He puts his hand on the small of my back. “This is sexy as shit.”
I turn back around in his arms and drape my arms around his waist. “So, are we staying in?” I look down between us.
He removes my hands from around him and holds me at arm’s length. He shifts awkwardly in his slacks. “We are going out to celebrate. This can wait until later.”
I pout my lips out. “We could have dessert first.”
“We could, but we’re not going to. Now finish getting ready and meet me downstairs.”
I put on my shoes and take one last, long look in the mirror. I almost don’t recognize myself. I don’t think I’m the same woman I was a year ago. All the sadness has faded from around my eyes, and it’s been replaced with a twinkle of happiness. My life is good right now, and I want to cherish it.
I take off downstairs, and Clay is hanging up his phone. “The limo will be here in five minutes.”
“Limo? Wow, you work fast.”
“Noah called in a favor for me to one of his buddies. We even have dinner reservations at the nicest restaurant in town.”
“Jewels? I’ve been dying to go there but didn’t want to go by myself.”
“Now, you don’t have to.” He holds out his arm for me to take. We walk outside, and the limo pulls up right on time. I get in and sit in the middle, so I can touch him at all times. He pops open a bottle of wine the limo company supplied and pours two glasses.
“Here’s to one remarkable woman.” He holds up his glass.
“And here’s to you being here.” We clink our glasses together and enjoy our ride to the restaurant.
I don’t know how he did it, but he managed to get us the best seat in the house. The only light is from the candelabra in the middle of the table.
“This is so romantic,” I say, looking around at the gold decorations adorning the tablecloth and the walls.
“Only the best.” He orders a bottle of champagne along with our food.
“So, you haven’t told me about your adventure yet.”
He takes a sip of water and clears his throat. “There is something else I want to talk to you about.” His look has changed from light to serious.
“What is it? You’re scaring me.”
He reaches over and grabs my hand. “I lied about coming straight here.”
“I don’t understand.”
His hand dips to his lap. “I made a stop first.” When his hand returns to the table, he’s holding a black velvet box.
My mouth gapes. I think I’m in shock.
He opens it, and there is a large, square, blue-stoned ring in it.
“I’ve given this a lot of thought while I was away.”
“You don’t have to do this,” I whisper.
He takes a sip of his drink. “Hear me out. The time I spent with you at the party was better than any adventure I could ever have. I was miserable in Scotland thinking about you. I was wrong when I said I could have no greater love than the outdoors. Silas got it right. He didn’t sacrifice anything. He had it all, and I want the same thing.”
My mouth is still gaping.
“Will you marry me, Olivia McDill?”
“I don’t want you to change your life for me.”
“Are you hearing me? I want this, don’t you?” His eyes search mine.
I stare at him for a long moment. Do I? I love him and would love waking up next to him every morning and not have to worry about him being on some grand adventure or if he was safe. Silas’s voice echoes in my head. Do it, Liv. Fully let go and let your life go on with him.
“Yes,” I finally shout. “Yes, I want to marry you.”
He gets up from his seat and kneels in front of me and places the ring on my finger. “You’ve just made my life complete. I promise to be a good husband to you, Liv. I know Silas was the love of your life, and he was a good man. I hope I can honor him by loving you as much as he did and thank him for making room in your heart for me.”
I join him on the floor. “I love you, Clay, and don’t ever think you’re playing seconds to Silas. You’re right, I loved him, but my heart loves you just as much.”
Epilogue
As I sit here on the back porch holding the hand of the man I love, I wonder where the time has gone. I’m in my seventies, and I’ve had an almost perfect life.
When I was a young girl, I never thought I’d fall in love with two men. Silas was it for me, and when I lost him, I almost lost myself. But even in death, he wouldn’t let me.
That was a lifetime ago.
The saying is true; time does heal the pain, but it never mentions the little ache that’s always there when you think about the person you lost.
Meeting Clay and falling for him came a lot easier than I thought. He’s been the best husband, just like he promised. Together, we went on his adventures a few times a year, and I continued to write. I never wrote another romance story, but I really should consider writing ours before my memory starts to fade.
&
nbsp; Noah and Clay became best friends. Noah and Charlie made us godparents to Silas, who we’re both very close to.
The one lesson I’ve learned in my time here is that life really does go on. We’ve all been through hardships, but life keeps going. You just have to dig in and fight back.
I’ve loved my life, and I wouldn’t trade any of it for another’s. Even with the sadness of losing Silas, I found love again that I might never have known. I have no regrets, only a beautiful life and a man who I love to sit and watch the sunsets with for the rest of our lives.
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Sneak Peek at Say You Won’t Let Go
Prologue
“Stop hitting every damn pothole! I’m trying to write a letter, and with every bump, I have to start over again,” Wolfe grumbles and braces his hand on the roof as the vehicle bounces.
“Well, why don’t you wait until we get back to camp to write her? I don’t know what you expect me to do about it. Sprout wings on this baby and fly over them? The terrain here is awful even for a military jeep.”
“Hey, the wing thing might work.” He flips me the bird and looks down at the letter he’s gripping. “I’ll put it away for now. I’m just anxious. I’ve gone my entire life and never knew I had a twin sister. How could my asshole of a father keep it from me?”
I take my eyes off the dirt road to look at him. “Your father barely knew his own name most days. From what you’ve told me, he was a nonfunctional alcoholic.”
“Evidently he was a liar too. He told me my mom died when I was two, and that’s when we moved from the Indian reservation in Utah.” A deep sadness fills his voice.
“I still can’t believe you’re half Indian. With your blond hair and blue eyes, I’d guess Norwegian. No wonder your dad moved you out of there.” I chuckle. “That blond hair of yours had to stick out like a sore thumb.”
“From the picture I found at my dad’s house after he died, my sister looks like she got all the Indian traits. We had to look kind of odd as twins – one blond, blue-eyed baby, the other with black hair matching her dark eyes.”