“Well, believe it. I don’t care. I just want you to feel good. Come on.”
Lucas gives me his hand. I take it and whimper as I crawl out of bed. Matron comes back with pills that I swallow obediently.
“Not that shit that’ll make me hallucinate, right?”
She laughs. “Percocet. I don’t carry the really fun stuff.” Her eyes dart to Lucas and her features soften. “Take care of her, all right?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
She winks at me and leaves. The room is bright, clean and quiet. The barely-there scent of lavender almost feels like home. The difference to where I was a few hours ago is so vast it doesn’t seem to be the same planet even. I start trying to pull off Ivan’s T-shirt but the strain on my back is too much and Lucas grabs the hem and pulls it the rest of the way. I don’t see him, but I hear his sharp intake of air.
“Is it that bad?”
“I won’t allow you to go there again,” he says, his voice filled with held-back rage.
I make my way to my little bathroom and turn on the shower, then I twist and study my back in the mirror. It’s filled with discolorations and horizontal welts, from right below my shoulder blades down to my upper thighs. In a couple of places there is dried blood where he broke the skin, but for the most part I’m intact. Nausea rises in me as I meet Lucas’ eyes in the mirror.
“It looks worse than it is.” I’m lying through my teeth. It’s worse than it looks. Last night I was in Hell.
“You… you look a lot worse than last time. How can you stand?”
“I— I was more prepared this time, I think. Mentally. I’m… I’m just glad to be back here. With you.”
I also wasn’t brutalized by twenty men. This time they just pinched and squeezed my boobs and everywhere else they were allowed to touch. But it was nothing compared to last time.
The shower has started to steam up the room. I make sure the water is nothing more than lukewarm. My inflamed back can’t handle hot.
“Wanna join me?” I take a step into the stream and glance over at my Viking.
“Can I? Are you sure?”
“Of course.” I smile and give him my hand. “Come.”
I’ve rarely seen anyone undress so fast. He drops the clothes on the floor and joins me, a groan escaping his throat as the water soaks him.
“Will you help me wash my hair? I don’t think I can.”
Lucas doesn’t only help me with my hair. He soaps my whole body, careful not to hurt me. His cock grows and I splay my fingers over his chest, caressing the blond curls down to his erection, but he takes my hand in his and holds it.
“Not that I don’t want to. I can’t help it, you’re just… you’re so fucking beautiful. But I don’t want you to think you need to… service me.”
“It’s not that, Lucas, you silly boy. I want to. You… you make me want to. Here, feel me.”
I put his hand between my legs, pushing his fingers between my swollen folds. My pussy aches for him. My pussy aches, period, but now it isn’t a bad ache. Seeing him, feeling him, soothes that other pain. The body is a remarkable thing.
He gasps and his cock thickens, but he takes his hand back and cups my cheeks.
“I want you so fucking much, but not today. Please just let me take care of you.”
Lucas is not like any other man I’ve ever met. My heart swells at his words, and at the warm look in his eyes. I nod.
“Okay.”
He’s a man of his word. After wrapping me in a towel, he goes in search of new sheets and a change of soft clothes. When I’m clean, warm and dressed, and my bed is made, he tucks me in and picks up where we left off in the second installment of The Fellowship of the Ring.
Lucas
I can’t be with her full time. I work long hours, odd hours, driving people, transporting goods.
Seven nights after I brought her back to the house of ladies, I get a call at four in the morning. It’s Eric.
“Come to Salvatore. Now.” He disconnects. I carefully untangle myself from the woman sleeping on my arm. Carmen’s face is peaceful. She’s a heavy sleeper, especially when she’s healing, and apart from stirring a little, she doesn’t wake.
In the common room, there’s still activity. A couple of girls sit with a man each, giggling, their voices sugary and filled with promises. I get an uninterested glance, but that’s all. They have long since stopped trying to seduce me, and everyone has gotten used to my presence here. I have even helped a little with some small things. Changing light bulbs, fixing squeaky door hinges, tightening a loose door handle. I think they’ve accepted me. I never thought I’d be a regular at a whorehouse. Funny how I don’t see them as that, though. Everyone is a person, has a background, dreams, and fears. Everyone fears the man whose mansion I’m yet again about to visit.
I don’t have to drive through the gates. Three men stand right by them, hidden from the road. Well, two stand, and the third hangs between them, his arms slung over their shoulders. Christian and Eric, and some unknown poor fucker. I hop out and open the back door. They toss the unconscious man on the floor and jump in.
“Knew we could count on you, dude.”
“Where to?”
“West harbor. Farthest you can get, by the cranes.”
I throw one last glance at the man by their feet, then I turn the car and head toward the designated destination. I have no illusions as to the fate of this man. Excitement rises in me. Is this them letting me in on some action? Like I begged them to a week ago? I had almost given up.
Suddenly life is feeling pretty fucking good. Carmen is healing, we’re closer than ever and my career is finally taking off. I’m gonna make some real money and get her out of this shit. She won’t have to sell her body.
The sun is rising, painting a thin orange line along the horizon. The air is crisp and feels new. For once the city isn’t covered in morning fog, and with the bay and the bridge in the distance, it’s a beautiful sight.
At five o’clock there’s not a soul by the docks. The seagulls have awoken and caw in the distance, the smell of salt and rotten seaweed is overwhelming. Christian and Eric pull out the man who moans and begins to struggle. They hold him up between them, in front of me.
“Knock him out, Payne,” says Eric, with a glint of a challenge in his eyes
I slam my fist to his face, once, twice, and a third time. His nose crunches, and his upper lip splits. His eyelids flutter, and then they fly open. He stares at me, unfocused, but awake.
Christian laughs and tightens his grip, making the man whimper. “Bro, I think you woke him.”
I tighten my fist and punch the guy so hard in the face I think I’ll kill him, not holding back in the least. His head lolls forward, and he’s out.
Eric glances at Christian and raises an eyebrow, then they motion toward a door in the closest building.
“In there.”
I pull it open for them and they carelessly throw their captive on the dirty concrete floor. A pungent smell of oil and dirt assaults my nose. Christian disappears back out as I feel for a light switch. Just as I find it and a flickering fluorescent light illuminates the room, Christian returns with a baseball bat. The door slams shut behind him and we all stand in silence for a few moments. Christian taps the bat repeatedly against the floor.
“What’d he do?” I look at Eric and then at Christian.
Eric shrugs. “Annoyed the boss.”
Christian hands me the bat. “Make him regret he was ever born.”
I glance at the slumped form on the floor, at my two partners, then I lift the bat.
I don’t go back to the soft, warm woman who is waiting in her bed for me, at eight o’clock, no doubt wondering where I went to. I go to my barely used apartment. I haven’t slept here for a week. It reeks of old socks and unwashed dishes. There’s blood on my hands, spatters on my clothes and face.
I still don’t know what the guy did, but it doesn’t matter. We do what we’re told. I just
gotta get used to it. I didn't throw up this time. I didn’t flinch or hesitate. I broke a significant amount of bones in his body and at some point during the beating, he took his last breath. His face is too mangled to be recognized. I smashed his teeth and Christian cut off his fingertips. Then we dumped him in the ocean. It’ll take a while for him to be identified whenever he’s found. As we left the harbor, the workers were beginning to trickle in to load and unload cargo from the boats.
My head spins as I start a shower, running it as hot as humanly possible. I watch the water as it floods down the drain, streaks of blood discoloring the white tiles. I’m so tired I could fall asleep standing. Apart from the bloody images on my retina, one thing in particular plays on repeat in my mind. As I dropped off Christian outside his place, he patted me on my back and told me to come take a beer at Salvatore’s tonight. I drove off with goosebumps running down my back. I’m in. I’m fucking in.
Finally.
Chapter 17
Carmen
We walk right into it. Lucas holds his arm around my waist, he tickles me and I give out a silly-sounding giggle-snort at which he barks out a laugh. Still laughing, we round the corner to enter the kitchen and freeze. There, in the flesh, sits Salvatore with a half-empty bottle of whisky in front of him on the table. His scent fills the room and it throws me right back into the nightmares I’ve endured by his hands. He’s dressed in a tight black T-shirt, the muscles in his arms bulging where the sleeves end, black jeans and boots. Holding a glass in his hand, he’s slowly swirling the amber content. Around and around. Matron is standing, her arms crossed over her chest, leaning against the counter. Both look up as we appear.
Salvatore’s pitch-black eyes narrow as he meets mine. He zooms in on me, and I feel like a deer caught in headlights, then they dart over to Lucas, before they drop down to the arm he holds around my waist. My heart rate skyrockets. Lucas lets me go as if he burnt himself. I swallow hard. The skin on my back shrinks, tingles. I get phantom pains from where the monster hurt me.
He doesn’t move a muscle, but I see how it hits home, how he realizes we’re together and how he immediately makes plans for how to use that against us. He sees it as a weakness he can exploit. This was the worst thing that could ever happen.
The survival instinct in me kicks to life. I take a step back, and pinch Lucas’ shirt, pulling it, trying to wake him from his trance. We need to move.
Lucas isn’t having it. He takes a step into the kitchen and tilts his head in a greeting, casually, as if stumbling over ruthless mafia bosses in the middle of the night is the most natural thing in the world.
“Matron, Boss. We interrupting something? We’re just getting a couple of sandwiches.” His deep voice is even, calm and controlled.
I remain frozen in the door opening. Lucas strides forward and gets two slices of bread, butter, ham and cheese. Whistling, he spreads the butter, and puts slices of ham and cheese on the bread. He takes his time. I stare at him in disbelief, realizing how little I know about him. How can he be so cool? What is his relationship with Salvatore? Are they closer than I know? Can I trust Lucas? Suddenly, I don’t know anything.
Salvatore has straightened his legs, crossing them at the ankles, and put his hands behind his head. Whatever conversation he and Matron had, they’ve gone quiet. He has an amused expression on his face that makes me want to throw up. He’s plotting. I know it.
“Looks like you’re thriving, Carmen. How nice to see you again. What’s it been? A month? That’s too long.”
I jerk when he addresses me. “Wish I could say the same.” I could bite off my tongue. My mouth has a fucking life of its own.
Two pairs of eyes stare at me in horror. Lucas has stopped what he’s doing, his hands frozen mid-air. Salvatore doesn’t look bothered at all. In his gaze there’s a promise, or a threat, of what’s to come. He’s telling me wordlessly, for only me to understand, that he’s not done with me.
He barks out a laugh as I spin on my heels and storm back up to my room, slamming the door closed behind me. I’m a mess as I pace back and forth, wearing down the floorboards, and jump a mile when Lucas shows up a little while later, carrying a tray with two cups of tea and two sandwiches. He frowns when he sees me, puts down the tray and closes his arms around me.
“Hey, babe. It’s not the end of the world.”
I push away, wrestling out of his grip. “It is! It’s a disaster! How can’t you see that? How could you be so calm!”
“Look, I couldn’t show him weakness. He’d pounce on us ruthlessly. I’ve got your back, honey. Relax.” He frowns as he studies me.
We’ve had this exact discussion too many times by now. He doesn’t have my back. No one has. Matron tried to talk to Salvatore, telling him to stop abusing me, or any of her girls. All he did was offer her more money, much more money for the loss of income. I wish she hadn’t told me. It makes me feel even more like meat, like the merchandise I am.
I put away the cup of tea Lucas hands me and snuggle into his warm embrace. “Come.”
Grabbing the waistband of his jeans, I pull him with me to the bed and push him down, straddling him.
A smile spreads on his lips and as I feel his bulge grow against my pussy, I suddenly get really fucking horny. The shock and the spike of adrenaline centers in my lower belly, making me desperately needy for a good long fuck, for a release, for something else to occupy my mind. I need to erase the vision of Salvatore. I need oblivion, even if it’s temporary. I don’t care that he might still be in the house. I fucking hope he’ll hear us.
I rotate my hips as I crush my lips against Lucas’. His hands find their way under my shirt and, stroking along my sides, he then drags it over my head. I don’t have a bra on, it’s the middle of the night. We were just gonna eat a sandwich and then sleep. Lucas groans when he sees my breasts and his hands come up to cup them. He rolls my nipples between his fingers, pinching, creating bolts of syrupy need that shoot down to my pussy. I scramble down along his body and make quick work of his pants, almost ripping them off. Climbing back up, I hold his gaze as I take his thick cock in my mouth, stroking along its base, sucking him in deep, deeper than I voluntarily take any other man. It’s somehow more personal than giving my pussy and ass, and I want to give this man every inch of my body. Lucas can barely control his breathing as I bring him to the brink of release. He grips my hair hard and makes me stop.
“Love, I want you!”
He grabs me around my waist and rolls me over on my back with ease, I’m like a feather in his arms. Hovering over me, his eyes blaze, open, happy, filled with a lust matching my own. Catching my lips with his, he sinks down until his chest rests heavy on mine as he devours my mouth, exploring every crevice God gave me. He kisses and nibbles a path down to my breasts, taking good care of both, making me arch with the growing ache within.
“Take off my fucking pants,” I groan.
“Yes, Miss.”
When I’m naked, he takes a moment to regard my quivering body. I squirm. His gaze is a caress all of its own, his want almost physical. Then he spreads my legs and puts his tongue on my soaked slit, finding my clit, dipping in between my folds. Boy, has he learned! I bite into my pillow to not moan too loudly and wake everybody up.
“I’m gonna come soon,” I gasp. “Please, fuck me now! I want to feel you!” I pull out the drawer next to my bed and toss him a condom.
He sits up between my legs, sheaths his cock and grabs my hips, positioning himself, his tip resting against my opening. “I love you, Carmen.”
Then he takes me like no other man ever takes me, because being with him also fills my heart and my soul. He makes me his, and I let him. Thrusting in me, he pushes his thumb against my clit, and it takes only seconds for me to lose it. I arch as I almost black out from an orgasm so strong I can’t help wailing. I’m probably waking everybody up. But what the fuck, we’re in a whorehouse. No one here is shy about a little sex.
“Oh my God,” he gasps an
d his whole body goes rigid as his cock twitches in me. His face contorts in a grimace that might as well be pain, but I know how good he feels, because I feel the same.
We’re sweaty and trembling, panting hard, as we snuggle in under the duvet. Mission accomplished – a little window of happiness in our dark and twisted lives. A cold wind sweeps through my heart as Lucas spoons me, holding me tight. I can’t hold on to anything. Everything is just temporary. Being happy for a moment almost hurts more than living in the shadows the whole time. Then I don’t know what I’m missing. Being with Lucas makes me long for something else, something more, and that’s a dangerous path to tread.
Life goes back to normal as the weeks pass by. A new normal with my man in it, but it slowly turns into what it was before I was called to Salvatore that first time. I work. Lucas works. He’s collecting protection money. Sometimes he’s gone for days, but he always keeps in touch, always calls me to say good night, even though the hours are skewed. None of us has a regular working schedule.
I don’t see the monster. I don’t even hear his name. No other girl has been summoned, which is both a relief and scares me. I try hard to shake the feeling he’s not done with me, but it always lingers, nagging at my heart, making my back ache even though it healed a long time ago.
Lucas is surprisingly honest with me about what he does. I know he’s hurting people. I know it hurts him, but he won’t admit it. He’s fixated on becoming someone they can count on. He wants the money, the respect, to feel he’s in control. I can’t make him see that the longer he works for Salvatore, the less in control he’ll be. He’ll be property, used, and some day discarded when he’s outlived his usefulness, or if he makes a wrong move.
None of us speaks about the beast behind the cast iron gates. It’s the ever-present elephant in the room.
As the months pass, not being abused turns out to be good for me, and for the first time since before I left Colombia, I have an appetite again, and gain some pounds. My breasts get attention from everyone, even the girls, and I have to increase my bra size twice. Lucas is a breast man and getting naked with him is a success every single time.
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