There’s liberation in the thought and when I stop pleasuring him, my eyes watering from gagging, having taken him as deep as I possibly can, I only move my hand up and down and meet his hooded gaze. I know I’m ready.
“I want you to take me, Christian.”
His eyes turn nearly black as his nostrils flare. “How?”
“I— I want you to take me hard. I want you to hurt me, and scare me. I want to give myself to you.”
He sits up straighter and inhales sharply. “I got the impression I’ve been too rough with you.”
“Well… you’ve never asked, have you?”
“That’s what bugged you?”
I nod.
“Oh, baby. Get the fuck over here then. Stand up.”
Darting to my feet, my heart leaps to my throat. What did I just start?
His hand slides in between my thighs and move up under my dress, up to my drenched panties. Pushing them to the side, he slides his thumb along my slit, back and forth, spreading the juices, teasing my clit until my legs tremble, electrifying my whole body, my whole being.
“Oh, you’re wet,” he growls as he grabs my panties and pulls them down until they fall to my feet and I step out of them. “Spread your legs wide.”
My dress covers my naked pussy, but he doesn’t lift it, instead his hand finds its way back up to where my legs meet and then he pushes his fingers inside me in one rough move. I grit my teeth against the brutal handling of my sensitive flesh, but at the same time heat spreads from his fingers, through my belly, along my thighs, making me writhe as he thrusts his fingers in me, spreading me open. He pulls out and suddenly pinches my clit. I jerk back on pure instinct.
“Don’t move,” he growls as his cock twitches, mouthwatering hard and thick.
I take a hesitant step toward him, his legs between mine, straddling him, but still standing, wide open, vulnerable.
His.
“You have a very hard time obeying, don’t you?”
He grabs my butt cheeks and pulls me even closer, a finger, slick from my juices, finding my rear entrance, pushing inside. I jerk, but remain where I am. He’s been there twice, but we never got very far as I clenched up and begged him to stop. He did other things then… tied me up, used his belt, pushed the limits for pain beyond what felt good, until after, when everything was good, when he caressed me and made me come, again and again, until I lost my notion of pain and pleasure and it all mingled into one.
He pushes further in, adding a second finger, his other hand finding its way to my pussy again, pinching my clit, hard. I twitch and moan from the lance of pain that spears through me but that soon turns into a furnace of desperate need.
“I’m going here,” he says and thrusts in my ass, deep, rough. “And tonight we’re not stopping until I’ve buried my cock to the hilt and claimed every little bit of your delicious body, Kerry.”
A shiver runs through me. I’ve given myself to him, and he’s going to take everything. He won’t hurt me, not for real. I know it, and I trust him with my whole heart. It’s a shocking realization, but I really do.
“I’m yours,” I whisper, holding his gaze.
His dark eyes flash and my stomach lurches at the heat and raw savageness in them. “Sit on me.”
I move up on the chair, kneeling on the cushion on either side of his hips, bunching up my dress in one hand as I support myself on his shoulder with the other.
“Get in position. Put my cock to your pussy, and then stay.”
My heart pounds wildly in my chest as I let the head of his massive cock rest against my slick hole. The temptation to slide down on it and let him fill me is almost impossible to resist.
“Good girl.” He holds my gaze as he starts caressing my clit, rubbing it, back and forth, circling, making it tingle and ache, making it pulsate. My thighs tremble and I can’t control the whimpers that erupt from my throat as the laser sharp focus of a pending explosion gathers there. I can barely breathe, on the edge of losing myself when he grabs my hips and slams me down on him, all the way to the hilt. I come completely undone in convulsions that make me thrash in his hold. Burying my face against his chest, I grit my teeth to not scream as he begins to move in me, slamming me down on him over and over again and a new orgasm claims my body.
“Fuck, Kerry!” he groans. “Fuck!”
“It’s—good,” I gasp, limp in his tight hold as he keeps thrusting.
“Of course it’s good. You fit me like a fucking glove. I’ve never—” He suddenly lifts me off him and stands, pulling up his pants. I wobble and he steadies me with an arm around my waist. “Come.” Dragging me toward our bedrooms, he snatches up the baby monitor and belt and hauls me along with him to a room at the far end of the corridor. It’s got a large bed with four bedposts, and then nothing else. No other furniture. The room is not wall to wall to our daughter’s room and I have a strong feeling that’s very much on purpose.
He gives me a push. “Get in there.”
I stumble forward and turn in time to see him lock the door. Christian turns and stalks toward me, like a predator approaching his prey.
“I like seeing you like this.”
“Like how,” I whisper, my heart fluttering.
“At my mercy. Helpless. Afraid.”
“I trust you.”
Christian smiles, and my breath hitches from the beautiful sight. “Good. Get out of that fucking dress.”
I finger the heavy necklace, the metal now warm and comfortable, then I turn and present the zipper to him. Goosebumps race along my spine as his warm fingers touch my skin. The air cools me as my dress falls open and I give a little shrug so it falls off my shoulders and sails to the floor. With a flick of his fingers, the clasp of my bra opens and I let it fall off me with yet another shrug.
“Raise your arms straight out and spread your legs.”
Naked, my back against him, and trembling slightly, I do as he tells me. There’s silence, then I flinch as I feel his chest to my back.
“Close your eyes. Don’t move.”
My arms shake slightly from holding them straight out. A soft, silky material touches my forehead, then he puts it over my eyes and ties it around my head. On instinct I break the stance and touch the fabric. His tie. Christian tsks and grabs both my arms, putting them on my back, holding them tight with one hand as he steers me forward.
“What are you doing?” I whisper, stumbling in the dark.
“Whatever I want.”
“What do you want to do, then?”
“You ask too many questions. Bend over.” He pushes me forward and I fall face first on the bed, my feet still on the floor, my ass presented to him. I tense, bracing myself for everything and anything. “Are you afraid yet?” His mouth is right by my ear, his breath hot.
“No,” I say, but my voice quavers slightly.
“Yeah?”
Christian gets off the bed, letting me go, and for one brief moment nothing happens, then the first blow lands on my butt, full force. I’m rocked forward and my hips dig into the bed frame. I throw out my arms and grab the bedspread in my clenched fists, biting down on the whimper that wants to escape me. A second blow on the other ass cheek makes my skin explode, or so it feels.
“No,” I gasp and wriggle to get free from his hand that pushes me down on the bed.
“You’re mine, Kerry.”
Smack!
“Mine to do with as I please.”
Smack, and smack again. I gasp from the pain and tears spring to my eyes.
“I’ve been so fucking patient. Waited and waited for you to come around. You’ve no idea what you’ve unleashed tonight.”
Suddenly a much more distinct, sharper pain hits my upper legs. Once, twice. I scream, pushing my face into the bed, forcing myself not to be loud. Is that the belt? Fucking hell! I shudder with need, with deep longing, as he drags his fingers gently across the pulsating tender skin, kissing the pain, mumbling words I can’t hear.
I r
ealize I really don’t know what I’ve unleashed. We never discussed any limits, not anything. I cling on to the hope that this beast of a man behind me will listen if I safeword. A shiver runs through me at the thought that he won’t, that he’ll take and take and take, and then the same thought turns chill to scorching heat. Something inside me feeds off that same insecurity. I want him rough. I want him dangerous. I want Christian just as the man I met.
Chapter 33
Kerry
“Tell me you want me.”
“I want you,” I say.
“Tell me you need me.”
“I need you.”
“Tell me you’re mine.”
“You’re one fucking needy bastard.”
His hand slides soothingly over my butt, slides in between my legs, finding my slick core. I squirm, wanting so much more. He grabs hold of my wrists, forcing my arms up on my back again, and with the blindfold every other sensation intensifies, multiplies.
The slap comes unexpected, hitting my pussy. I scream into the mattress.
“You are one fucking mouthy woman. Tell me you’re mine.” He slaps me again. But this time, the impact pushes me forward and then he yanks me back, pressing his hard bulge against my desperate flesh.
“I’m yours,” I gasp.
Another blow sends spikes of agony and intense heat shooting all the way up to my scalp. “You always were, Kerry,” he whispers, his mouth to my ear, the sudden closeness making me flinch.
“I need you,” I whimper.
Christian pushes his fingers inside me, thrusting, stretching me open. My heart pounds so hard that all I hear is my pulse roaring in my ears when I feel his cock at my entrance and his fingers slide to my clit. Oh, yes, please!
“I know you do,” he says, his voice a low rumbling, as he slowly, torturously slowly pushes inside, little by little filling me. “Oh, you’re so tight,” he groans and then he thrusts the rest of the way, stretching me to the exquisite limit.
I moan, pushing my hips back, like a bitch in heat. I feel like I’m losing my humanity, parts of what made up Kerry. I knew this would happen. Christian devours, and I’ve been so afraid, but I’m so alone and lost without him, and I’m ready to take the risk, because I love what comes with it.
His answer is to pull back and then slam inside again. Ruthlessly hard. He releases my arms and grips my hips as he ravages not only my pussy, but my everything. I feel like I’m dissolving in his hands. Something warm and wet falls on my rear entrance and he begins to push a finger inside. Deep. Deeper. Adding a second. One hand keeps caressing my clit as he moves in me, and the three sensations begin to build, liquify my core, making my legs tremble. I tense up as he adds yet another finger.
“Relax, baby. Push back on my hand.”
I can barely control my breathing, my release so close, so cruelly close. In the darkness I have no control. It’s both frightening and relieving.
He pulls out. “Climb up on the bed.”
I fumble and stumble as I obey, and yelp when he grabs my hips and pulls me toward him. My ass is spread open and my heart pounds with apprehension. I know where this is going, and he’s not gonna stop tonight. The thought shoots a bolt of heat right between my legs and makes my insides pulsate. I’m his. I never knew it could feel so right to give in and put myself in his hands. I force myself to relax when his thick cock pushes against my tiny hole.
“Be careful,” I whisper.
Christian leans in and cups one breast, molding it in his hand. “I’ve told you. I’ll never hurt you. Not really hurt you.” He keeps pushing, rolling my nipple between his fingers and I gasp as that first resistance is breached. “Good girl,” he pants. “You—” He pushes deeper, impossibly thick. “Are—” Deeper. My belly clenches as I’m spread wide, as my ass ignites in a pinching, stinging fire. “Fucking—” He lets go of my breast, and I haven’t really felt anything but the scorching heat in my rear entrance for the last few moments. “Fantastic!” He stops. His hips connected with my ass cheeks. “You still with me?”
“Mm-hmm,” I whimper.
He slides his large, warm palm over my ass, up along my back, to between my shoulder blades, then he grips my nape and pushes me down, hard, as he begins to move in me. I’m blindfolded, locked in place, and beautifully helpless in his hands as he thrusts, taking my last piece of resistance. Still immobilizing me, he finds my clit with his other hand and caresses it, in the exact right way, just like he always does. I clench up, harder and harder, until I can barely breathe.
“I’m gonna come,” I mewl, not recognizing my own voice. Staggering on the edge of my release, I want him with me, I don’t want to come alone. “I— Can’t get—” I fight to hold back, which only makes it so much harder. “Pregnant there!”
Christian intensifies his thrusts and I think I’m gonna die soon. My heart can’t take more, and neither can my ass. “You still not on birth control?” he pants.
“I am. I can’t—” I scream into the mattress as my body takes over, overriding my mind and my will. I don’t feel Christian, I don’t feel his hands or the bed. It’s as if I soar, blackness surrounding me, creeping inside me, filling me. I’m pulled right back, my insides still spasming as he roars and falls on top of me, clinging to me as if I’m a lifeboat and he is drowning.
“God!” He bites my neck, my shoulder, my ear, still moving in me, but slower.
“Ow.”
Christian chuckles. “Where.”
“Everywhere.”
He laughs. “I doubt that.” Nuzzling my neck, kissing the stinging marks from where he bit, he whispers, “Thank you.”
“You’re big,” I mutter, coming down from my high, still tingly all over, and all the way deep into my heart.
“Did I hurt you?”
“Mmno…”
“Not good enough.”
“Hey!”
“Just kidding, Ker.” He moves, pulls out and rises. “Don’t move.”
“I couldn’t if I wanted to,” I mumble, my face almost buried in the mattress.
His warm, strong hand cradles my nape, then he slips off the tie. I turn my head and take him in, gut-clenchingly beautiful in the soft light that still manages to make my eyes ache.
“Right back, hon.” He disappears into an adjacent bathroom that I hadn’t even noticed, water flushes, and then he comes back with a towel that he carefully presses between my legs. I follow him with my gaze. I can’t stop looking at him, admiring his toned body, his strong hips and thighs. He grins at me and falls down beside me. Sweat beads on his forehead and his chest heaves, but he looks happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen him.
He pulls out the comforter from under us and tucks us in, warm, tight and secure. The sheets smell clean and fresh. We don’t. The sensuous weight of the necklace, the metal pleasantly warm, reminds me of his gifts. Not only the jewelry, but Cecilia, love, passion, strength and protection. I have just about curled up on Christian’s arm when he gasps.
“Fuck!”
“What?”
“It’s Christmas Day.”
“So?”
“Her gifts. I gotta stuff the stockings.”
“I’ll help you.”
We wrap ourselves in new towels and tiptoe past Cece’s room. Luckily, she’s still a heavy sleeper. After having accomplished our goal, he steers me to his room, moving me in front of him, steering me to his own bed. My skin already longs for more of his touch and he doesn’t disappoint.
This time there’s no hurt. There is tongue and lips, and soft, careful lovemaking.
After, he pulls me into his arms again, but I push him away and motion for him to turn around. Then I wrap my arms around his waist and spoon up behind him, reveling in the warmth he radiates.
“Merry Christmas,” he mumbles.
“Mm,” I mutter, already drifting.
When Cecilia barges into the room I feel like I haven’t slept at all. I rub my dry eyes and make sure the sheet covers us properly. It must be earl
y. It’s still black outside.
“Mommy, Mommy, Santa was here!” She waves with a small box. Then she stares at us. “Mommy slepted Daddy!”
“Mm.” I wonder how we’re going to explain this, but our daughter doesn’t crave explanations. She wedges her little body between ours, on top of the sheet, and starts unwrapping the gift. Christian’s eyes meet with mine over her head and warmth spreads in my chest from the way he looks at me. Cecilia triumphantly waves with a small pink and golden jewelry box before she drops it on the bed and slithers away to find more gifts from Santa.
I lift the sheet. “We should go to her.” I tingle all over when a warm, strong arm wraps around my waist and pulls me back down.
“Soon,” he whispers and presses against me, capturing my mouth with his. I cling to him as if for dear life and wrap my legs around his, ensnaring him. His dark eyes are filled with warmth and we lie in silence, listening to the sounds from the living room of paper tearing.
“We’re gonna have to visit the Salvatore household tonight, hon.”
My heart makes an unhealthy leap and a groan escapes my throat.
“There’s no getting away from that. There’ll be a gigantic Christmas party, like every year, and my uncle doesn’t take no for an answer.”
“Who’ll be there?”
“Everyone.”
I groan again and bury my face in the sheets.
“Christmas is the time for forgiveness,” he says and lets the tips of his fingers trace the hairline on my nape. “If you could forgive me, then anything is possible.” I inhale deeply and let the air out on a shudder. He pulls me to him harder. “I’ll take care of you, Kerry. Now and always.”
There’s no getting away from meeting his family. Not today, not in the future. I’ve chosen this man and with him comes his baggage, a mob family, ice cold, dangerous men and women. I’ve stood up for myself before. I can do it again.
I kiss him on the earlobe, then graze it with my teeth. “I trust you. I’m with you, I’ll stay with you. I’ve chosen you, and it means I’ve chosen the rest too.”
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