Finding Me (The Music Within Book 3)

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Finding Me (The Music Within Book 3) Page 10

by Faith Gibson


  “Five card draw, nickel ante with quarter maximum bet.” Andy dealt everyone five cards and when he saw he had three Aces, he squirmed in his chair.

  Both Mal and Bryan glanced over at him, and Andy did his best to keep his face passive. When Mal and Bryan looked at each other, they both laid their cards down and said, “I fold,” at the same time.

  “What?” Andy huffed.

  Grinning, Mal said, “I might not play a lot of cards, but I can see why he has all the money.” Mal thumbed at Bryan who was biting his bottom lip to keep from laughing.

  “What’s so fucking funny, B?”

  “Oh, Lily. You are. I shouldn’t tell you this in case we ever play for real money, but you have these little tells. Like if you get a really good hand, you squirm in the chair. If you get a bad hand, you sigh. If you have an okay hand, you bite your bottom lip.”

  “You should be watching your cards instead of me,” Andy huffed. But he was glad Bryan had been watching him. For more than one reason. The most important being that now he could concentrate on not doing those things when he was looking at his hand.

  “Then I wouldn’t know whether to bet or fold. Let’s try again.” Bryan took the cards from Andy, shuffled them, and dealt everyone a new hand.

  Andy concentrated, and now that he knew what he’d been doing, he was able to win more hands. For the next couple of hours, they drank beer, ate nachos, and had a good time laughing with each other. When Mal’s phone rang with Cade calling, he grinned and said, “I’m out. I’ll see y’all in the mornin’.”

  Andy’s eyes followed Mal as he hurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs where he could talk to Cade in private. As much fun as he’d had playing cards, Andy wished he had someone to talk to on the phone. Even though Cade lived in California, he came to visit Mal when he could. You have Bryan. He did, but only as a friend. At least Mal and Cade had sex a few times a year. All Andy had was his toys. They got the job done as far as getting him off, but he longed for the intimacy of kissing and holding someone after the sex was over. Not that he’d ever had that. Even with Patrick, there’d been no cuddling. Just rough sex that…

  “You want another beer?” Bryan asked.

  “Nah. I think I’m going to turn in, too.” Andy scraped all the coins back into the jar he kept them in. At the end of the night, they’d all been pretty even in their winnings. “B, why did you let me in on what my telling signs are? You could have left me in the dark and took all the money.”

  “Because I like you. I never want to take advantage of you, and besides, it’s more fun when you’re competitive.”

  Because I like you.

  “Well, thanks for that.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Yeah, see ya.” Andy double-checked all the locks and the alarm while he gave Bryan time to use the bathroom. He leaned against the back door, looking out into the dark night. He’d had fun with Bryan just like he always did, no matter what they ended up doing. Andy couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be or anyone he’d rather spend time with. His heart hurt knowing he could never have the one guy who was almost perfect for him.

  Chapter Ten

  Bryan

  Other than the near panic attack Bryan almost had at the bar, the day had been perfect. He couldn’t remember enjoying himself as much as he had, and it was all thanks to Andy. He imagined tomorrow being another great day until he thought about seeing Laurel. He’d been looking forward to his date, somewhat, until she’d flirted with Andy right in front of him. And asking for a threesome? While Bryan had thought about what it would be like to be with Andy, he wasn’t lying when he told Laurel he didn’t share. Not that Andy was his, but if Bryan was with someone, he couldn’t see how bringing a third person into their bed would be a good thing. He knew people did that all the time, but that wasn’t for him. He might not have ever been in a relationship, but when he thought of being with someone, he always thought it meant that person was loyal to you and you to them.

  If what Mal said about Laurel was true, and by the way she acted at the bar, she wasn’t the type of person Bryan wanted in his life. He knew he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but he didn’t want to hook up for the sake of hooking up, even if he wanted to test his theory about whether or not he was really into women. Plus, if he was going to go out with someone, he wanted it to possibly lead to something more. Bryan couldn’t see there being anything more with Laurel. Instead of wasting his time and money on someone like her, Bryan decided to cancel their date. Besides, he didn’t want to miss tomorrow’s dinner with Suzette and Walt. It had been a long time since Bryan had eaten with family, and he was looking forward to it.

  He was thankful to be using the bathroom before Andy had gone to bed. He couldn’t stand another night like the last one. Bryan was ready for a good night’s sleep. Hearing the sounds coming from Andy’s room had done a number on Bryan. As soon as he got to his room, he stripped down to his boxer briefs and climbed under the covers. The floor outside his door creaked as Andy passed by. Bryan found himself smiling at the thought of Andy playing poker. If they’d been playing for real money, he wouldn’t have let Andy in on what his tells were. Then again, he probably would have. It was no fun taking all of someone’s money without a challenge. Bryan had a little bit of a competitive streak, but not one so big he would take advantage of his best friend. Bryan closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with visions of Andy biting his full bottom lip running through his head.

  Saturday morning began the way the others had with the exception of the cook. Andy was awake and making breakfast when Bryan hit the kitchen. “Morning,” he said, staring at Andy’s legs. He was wearing a pair of cut-off sweat pants that didn’t quite reach his knees. The muscles in his thighs bunched underneath as he moved from one foot to the other.

  “Oh, hey. I thought I’d tackle breakfast since we’re supposed to take turns cooking. I can’t make biscuits, but I’m not bad with pancakes. You wanna grab the plates and stuff for me?” Andy asked while flipping a pancake over, not bothering to turn around.

  “Yeah, sure.” Bryan had no trouble helping out other than keeping his eyes off Andy’s legs. Instead of freaking out over it, Bryan chalked it up to hormones. Hormones he had no control over.

  “Mal had to take a phone call, and he said not to wait on him.” Andy put a stack of fluffy pancakes on a plate filled with sausage and handed it over to Bryan. The syrup was already on the table. “Don’t wait on me either. Pancakes don’t stay warm long,” he instructed.

  Bryan poured a cup of coffee as well as a tall glassful of milk. He poured one for Andy and set it at the seat next to him. “Thank you,” Andy said, when he noticed the milk. Bryan loved pancakes but never had them much growing up. The few he’d had weren’t nearly as good as the ones Andy made. The only sounds coming from the table were Bryan’s moans each time he took a bite and Andy’s chuckles. By the time they had cleaned their plates, Mal still wasn’t out of his office. Andy had made enough for Mal and stuck his plate in the microwave.

  Since he was already dressed to go outside, Bryan told Andy, “I’ll clean up while you go get changed.”

  “Okay, thanks. I won’t be long.” Andy whistled some tune as he walked out of the kitchen, and Bryan watched him go. He stepped out onto the back porch and pulled out his cell phone, texting Laurel to cancel their date. He probably should have called, but he didn’t see where he owed her an explanation other than he couldn’t make it.

  When Andy came outside, Bryan noticed his cammies were blue. “Marine, I know you like semen, but what are you doing dressed like a seaman?”

  Andy blushed, shoving past Bryan as he headed to the barn. “I found them in a thrift store, and they were nice and broken in,” Andy admitted.

  Bryan hated the fact Andy had to shop in thrift stores. He’d said his money situation was tight, but now that he had a job, hopefully those days were over. Bryan knew all about having to wear second-h
and clothes. Thinking back, the only time he’d seen Andy in anything other than jeans, cammies, and tees had been when they went to the bar. His button-up shirt had been nice and his jeans looked fairly new. As Bryan watched Andy disappear into the barn, he thought to himself, no matter what Andy wore, he wore it well.

  The sun was already shining, and it was going to be a muggy day. The rain had seen to that. Andy fed the horses while Bryan filled their water. Mal had already mentioned he wanted them to check the fencing on the back part of the property before they turned some of the cattle loose back there. They loaded up the tools they would need if the fence needed mending and set off on the four wheelers.

  It was close to noon before they saw Mal. He came riding up on Callie with Moe and Curly close behind. Mal apologized for taking so long, but he didn’t elaborate on what the call was about. That didn’t bother Bryan since Mal didn’t seem upset about anything, and he was the boss. He didn’t have to explain anything to them. “I brought your lunch to you so you don’t have to go all the way back to the house to eat.”

  Mal placed the bag on the seat of Cade’s four wheeler and looked at the fencing. “Y’all are doing a great job.”

  “Thanks. Once you showed us what to do, it wasn’t that hard to continue on.” Bryan had been pretty handy before he joined the Marines. Being the man of the house meant he was responsible for fixing the things the landlord always forgot about. He enjoyed working with his hands, and the fact his boss praised his work made him enjoy it even more. It was a far cry from being in the military, where you were yelled at all the time.

  “Walt’s meetin’ me in the front pasture. We’re goin’ to vaccinate the heifers. Ma’s gonna be in the den watchin’ television. If you don’t get finished out here, go ahead and stop so you have time to clean up by five.”

  “Will do, and thanks for the sandwiches,” Andy replied for both of them. When they got to a good stopping place, they grabbed the bags and sat in the shade of a nearby oak. Leaning against the huge tree, Andy pulled the sandwiches out of the plastic bag and handed Bryan two of them. When Mal made a sandwich, he didn’t kid around. It was piled high with meat and cheese, just the way Bryan liked.

  The two of them had worked together all morning, getting into a routine. Bryan was used to teamwork, but what he wasn’t used to was being alone with Andy for hours on end. The man didn’t make things uncomfortable. If anything, he did everything he could to make Bryan more relaxed around him. Gone was the flirting. There was no touching his arm unless it was accidentally when one of them had to pull on the wire while the other secured it to a post. Andy sang softly to himself instead of belting out whatever country song he was hearing in his head.

  “Any idea where you’re taking Laurel on your date?” Andy asked before taking a bite. He didn’t look at Bryan while he waited for an answer. Instead, he chewed, swallowed, and took another bite.

  “I’m not taking her anywhere,” Bryan said.

  “Oh, so you’re staying at her place. Eating in,” Andy said almost mockingly. If Bryan didn’t know better, he’d think Andy was jealous, regardless of the way he’d been behaving all morning.

  “No, smartass. I’m not going. I texted her earlier and canceled our date.”

  Andy turned his head so fast Bryan was sure the man got whiplash. “You did?”

  “Yeah. After last night, I can’t see me being around her and having a good time. I mean, she wanted me to bring you along with me. How crazy is that?”

  Andy’s face fell. Oh, shit. That came out wrong. “Not that her wanting you was crazy. That’s not what I meant. I understand why she would want you. I meant it was crazy for her to want to fuck both of us. I wasn’t kidding when I said I don’t share. I’m not a prude, but I don’t think I could be in a relationship with someone who couldn’t be satisfied with just me.”

  “You’ve never fantasized about being a Bryan sandwich?”

  “No. Have you?” Andy coughed, choking on the bread he’d just swallowed, and Bryan rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean, asshole. Do you want to be an Andy sandwich, smashed between two big men who have their wicked way with you?”

  Andy shivered, but from the look on his face, not in a good way. “No,” he whispered.

  Bryan had to wonder if the scars on Andy’s back had anything to do with his answer. He didn’t feel close enough to him to ask, though. Maybe one day Andy would feel comfortable enough with Bryan to tell him what happened. When he did, Bryan was afraid he’d travel to Texas, find the ex-boyfriend, and give him a scar or two of his own. No teenager deserved that kind of treatment, especially from someone who was supposed to be their boyfriend. They finished eating in silence, both their moods a little darker than when they started.

  Once they were done, Bryan stood and held out a hand to help Andy up. It was a friendly gesture, but as soon as Andy clasped Bryan’s hand, Bryan felt the same tingle he felt before. If Andy felt it, he ignored it. They tossed their trash in the back compartment of the ATV and got back to work. Even with the heaviness of the conversation, Andy lightened up and began singing. The next four hours passed quickly, and soon it was time to head indoors.

  Bryan made his way to the den before taking his shower. He cleared his throat when he got close to Suzette.

  “Bryan, is that you, sweetheart?” the older woman asked.

  How in the hell did she know it was him and not Andy since Andy was standing right beside him? “Yes ma’am. I wanted to say hello before I got in the shower. How’ve you been?”

  “Right as rain. Come over here and let me look at you both. How are you boys settling in? Everything going okay for you?” Suzette turned the volume down and held out her hands. Bryan closed the distance first and squatted in front of her. She didn’t hesitate to place her hands on either side of his face. Unlike last time, she didn’t explore the planes. Instead she held him there as if she were looking into his eyes. Bryan’s heart hurt a little when thinking about his own mother. He was glad Mal had such an awesome mom to stand by him through the years.

  “Everything’s great so far. We went to the Dairy Barn last night and had one of their burgers.”

  “Oh, don’t let Matilda hear you say that. She’ll be begging for Friday night dates with the both of you,” Suzette joked.

  “If she’s half as pretty as her grandmother, I wouldn’t mind that at all,” Andy said as he came up and stood next to Bryan.

  “Aren’t you the smooth one,” Suzette said, smacking Andy on the leg. “You better watch this one, Bryan. He’s a charmer.” If she only knew how much he already watched his friend.

  “I hear you have a date tonight,” she said to Bryan, cocking her head to the side.

  “No, ma’am. I canceled it.”

  “You did?” Suzette’s face softened and she looked… happy.

  “Yes, ma’am. I did. Now, I’m going to hop in the shower before Andy gets in there and doesn’t leave me any hot water,” Bryan said. Before he could stand, Suzette smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He didn’t miss the grin on Andy’s face when he turned his way.

  “Something you want to say, Lily?” Bryan ghosted across Andy’s ear.

  Bryan didn’t give Andy time to answer. As he stepped from the room, Suzette asked Andy, “Lily? What’s that all about?”

  When Bryan returned to the den less than ten minutes later, Andy was still sitting with Suzette. She was holding his hand and patting it the way a mother would. Bryan didn’t want to intrude on their conversation, but he couldn’t make his feet move. Bryan leaned against the door frame and studied Andy while his attention was elsewhere. Andy sat tentatively while Suzette spoke softly. He probably felt the same pull to Mal’s mom since his own mom had abandoned him as a teenager.

  Bryan’s life growing up was tough, but it was filled with love. He had no doubt his father loved him and his siblings in his own way. It had been months since Bryan had gone to see the man. He’d visited him right after he got out of the Marines but hadn’t ta
lked to him since. Bryan never bothered to ask his siblings if they ever heard from him or went to visit. Ever since Andy and Mal shared their stories of their own fathers, it got Bryan to really thinking about his. He might have had fucked up reasons for the bad shit he did, but he’d never turned his back on his kids. Not really.

  “Are you okay?” Andy asked, standing in front of him. He’d been so lost in thought, he hadn’t seen him get up and walk toward him.

  “Yeah, fine. Bathroom’s all yours.”

  Andy was standing close. Too close. Bryan had the crazy urge to lean in and see if Andy’s lips were as soft as they looked. The urge was removed when Andy took a step back. “You sure about that, B?”

  Bryan’s cell phone rang in his pocket. He already knew who it was, but he couldn’t stop staring at Andy. “You gonna get that?” Andy asked when it continued playing “Money” by Pink Floyd. It was the ringtone he’d chosen for his brother, the accountant. “I’m getting in the shower,” Andy added and walked away. Bryan barely got his phone out of his pocket and swiped the answer icon before it went to voicemail.

  “Hello, little brother,” Bryan said as he stepped outside onto the front porch where he could talk in private. As he sat down on the swing, he didn’t miss the excitement in Brett’s tone, so he asked him if it had anything to do with finding a surrogate.

  “As a matter of fact, we’ve found the perfect person. She carried a baby a couple of years ago for her brother and his husband. Everything went well, and when she found out David and I were looking, she offered to do it for us.”

  “Which one of you is going to be the father?”

  “We won’t know, and that’s the way we want it. The doctor is using both our sperm.”

  “What does the surrogate look like?” Bryan wasn’t knowledgeable about genes and how they affected the way children looked. From his own experience, it made even less sense. He and Brianna were lighter skinned, more of a mixture of both parents, where Bryce and Brett were darker like their father. All of them had the funky-colored eyes, where their father’s were almost black.

 

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