by Young
“Third, and certainly not the last: Happiness is not a destination. The adage, ‘Are we there yet?’ is often applied to discussions on happiness. As if a person works towards happiness and suddenly one day it ‘arrives’ at his or her doorstep. On the contrary to popular belief, unless you are one of the few and far between, who won the genetic lottery and is naturally happy; it takes regular effort to maintain happiness.
I questioned, “Uncle, so far you have listed three items that happiness isn’t. What, then is happiness?”
My surrogate dad gave a hearty laugh before he explained, “One technique to be happier is to keep a habitual gratitude journal of happy life events. Be thankful for all the positive and negative occurrences that life brings. This will help you discover the meaning of happiness.”
“Is it that easy?” I asked puzzlingly.
Pinkerton responded cheerfully, “Happiness is a combination of how satisfied you are with your life. An excellent example is to find meaning in your work or career. It is also a matter of how good you feel on a day-to-day basis. To put it directly - our life changes and our mood fluctuates, but our general happiness is often genetically determined. The good news is, this can be offset with consistent effort.
“Think of happiness as your weight. If you eat the way you want and is active, your body will settle at a specific weight. But if you choose to eat less and exercise more, your weight will adjust accordingly. If that new diet or exercise regimen becomes a part of your everyday life, then you’ll stay at this new weight. If you go back to overeating and chooses not to exercise, your weight will return to where it started. The same applies to happiness.
“In other words, with consistent practice, you can control how you feel. You are able to form life-long habits for a satisfactory and fulfilling life.”
My Valet interposed, “When I was at the Bahriji (Oasis) School, one of my professors taught us the seven habits of happy people.”
“And what are they?” James inquired.
“These were the pointers Professor Henderson gave:
Relationship - Express what is in your heart. He counseled that people who have one or more close friends are happier, and it doesn’t matter if we have an extensive network of close relationships or not. The difference is how often do we engage in the group activities to share our personal feelings. He termed this as ‘Active-constructive responding.’ It’s the ability to show genuine interest in what people say and to respond with encouragement. This, he advised, is a powerful way to enrich relationships and cultivate positive emotions.
Acts of Kindness – Cultivate kindness. The professor commended people who volunteer or care for others on a consistent basis. He discerned that they are happier and less depressed. ‘Caring’ can involve volunteering as part of an organized group or club or it can be reaching out to a colleague or classmate who is lonely and/or struggling with an issue. Like what we, as Big-Brothers and Valets are to our charges.
Exercise and Physical Well-being – Dr. Henderson also advice to keep active and eat healthily. He instructed that regular exercise is associated with improved mental well-being and lower depression. He went on to explain that the ancient adage, ‘sound body, sound mind,’ and a ‘gut-brain axis,’ are the links to counter depression. These actions make a person happier and well-balanced.”
I queried before Andy could continue. “What is ‘gut-brain axis?”
“‘Gut-brain axis’ is the biochemical signals that take place between the gastrointestinal tract and the central nervous system,” my uncle clarified.
“Young, please don’t ask so many questions and let me continue,” my lover admonished.
He resumed, “That brings me to Flow – Find your flow. Dr. Andrew stated that if we are deeply involved in reaching a goal, or activity that is both challenging and well suited to our skills; we merge into a happy state called flow. He went on to cite examples of activities such as playing sports, an instrument, or teaching; these can produce the experience of ‘flow.’ Flow is a type of intrinsic motivation. ‘You do what you’re doing because you like what you’re doing. If you learn only for external, extrinsic reasons, it is unlikely you’ll remember what you did.’
“The fifth habit: Spiritual Engagement and Meaning. Henderson revealed that spirituality is closely related to the discovery of a deeper kind of happiness that generates a higher meaning in one’s life.
Strengths and Virtues – ‘Discover and use your strengths,’ my ex-professor advised. The happiest people are those that have discovered their unique strengths; such as persistence, critical thinking, and virtues. By applying those strengths and virtues for a greater purpose than for one’s personal goals, we can achieve ‘Authentic Happiness’ to realize our potential for lasting fulfillment.
Positive Mindset – His final words on happiness are to treasure gratitude, mindfulness, and hope. Similar to your advice, sir; my mentor stated that grateful people show greater positive emotions, a significant sense of belonging, and lower incidences of depression and stress.”
“Andy, you don’t need me to give you advice on happiness. You know it already,” my surrogate dad articulated amusingly.
Our “Pursuit of Happiness” topic transmuted to other matters of the day when our scrumptious food arrived.
Sexual Starvation (Chapter Thirty-Six)
“The pain of sexual frustration, of repressed tenderness, of denied curiosity, of isolation in the ego, of hatred poisoning all love and generosity, permeates our sexuality. What we love we destroy.”
Germaine Greer
First Week of November 1968
Kasbah Tamadot, Atlas Mountains, Morocco
I was summoned to the Majesty, my Master’s chamber, the evening of his and my tutor’s return. He was in a flutter when I entered. He paced around the room and muttered to himself.
The moment he saw me, he seethed, “How can Mario do such an underhanded thing to me?”
“Do what underhanded thing to you, sir?” I inquired.
“He stole Kalf from me the moment I left for Buenos Aires. Do you know that he and Kalf are an item?”
He did not await my reply before he fumed, “He is aware I desired the lad for myself, yet he went ahead and stole him from under my nose!”
Before I could comment, he resumed irefully, “I should have known not to trust that bastard. As soon as my back was turned, he’s up to no good. I’ll never forgive him!”
“I’m sure Mario would consult you in such an important matter. It is an oversight on his part. I’ve no doubt that a word with him will resolve the situation,” I said soothingly to subside his anger.
“Kalf told me that the rascal pursued him relentlessly. When he refused his advances, he forced himself on him. This is outrageous!” The athlete vociferated.
I was shocked to hear such a proclamation, especially when the three males had a blithe liaison before my Master’s departure to Argentina. I found his pronouncement a challenge to comprehend.
“Have you spoken with the Count about this?” I questioned.
“I don’t need to. I know for a fact that, that bastard Italian is the wild-type and he’ll deny any wrongdoing,” the Arab huffed.
“How can you be sure? Shouldn’t you give him the benefit of the doubt and listen to his side of the story?” I proposed.
He countered, “I trust Kalf more than I trust the scoundrel. He has a history of manipulating his conquest before he ditches them. I have no respect for that man.”
“I thought the both of you were the best of friends?” I remarked.
“Not after this! It’s over! I want nothing to do with that scoundrel. He is contemptuously disgusting!” my Master declared.
I inquired curiously, “What exactly did Kalf tell you?”
“He said when he refused his advances, the rogue raped him and held him captive,” the Arab revealed.
“This man you described doesn’t sound like Count Mario Conti I know. He had never laid a hand on m
e without my consent. Are you sure Kalf is telling the truth?”
The moment I voiced my consternation, I knew I shouldn’t have. Since my Master was deeply infatuated with the Moroccan, my controversial comment only added insult to injury.
I quickly rephrased my question, “Although, I do not doubt Kalf’s narrative; wouldn’t it be prudent for you to hear Mario’s side of the story?”
The athlete exclaimed before I could continue. “I’M NOT SPEAKING TO THAT SCUMBAG!”
“If you are agreeable, sir, let me speak to the Count. Tomorrow, I’m working with him on the air balloon photo shoot. I’ll ask him in private, and make sure that our group has no knowledge of our conversation,” I assured.
“Do what you want, boy. I don’t trust the Italian any more than I have credence with a hypocrite,” my Master evinced agitatedly.
I moved closer to him and ran my fingers along his half unbuttoned shirt. My hand traced his beard line, down his muscular chest and to his hairy navel. His impish smile indicated that my seduction had eased his vexation. Tad courted my investigation with a passionate kiss. I reached to cup his bulbous globes. His strong palpitations pronounced his readiness to relinquish his indignation to embrace lust.
As my oral expertise worked its magic on my Master’s erection, his livid demeanor transformed to loving affections. He was unwilling to relinquish the euphoria I had licentiously bestowed on his masculinity. He lifted me onto the bed to cherish my tenderness as if I was Kalf, the boy he desires to possess. For now, I was a convenient substitute who held the proficient skills to satisfy his carnal pleasure.
On the other hand, I greeted our eroticism with unrivaled ecstasy. After all, I was a well-groomed E.R.O.S. recruit, explicitly trained for circumstances such as the one I found myself in.
Starved of sexual nourishment, the seasoned athlete devoured every part of me. His pent-up sexual tensions had burrowed its way into a fist of fury; when all he required was a liberation of venereal energies that had engulfed his person.
I nuzzled my face between his fuzzy buttocks as he begged my tongue to jab into him with gusto. I was more than willing to oblige when my lingua prowess swirled around his twitching orifice. My Master was in seventh heaven as I feasted on his privates. Like a suckling infant, I guzzled on his dangling roundnesses and devoured his throbbing protrusion with cherished devotion. When he could no longer relinquish my lubricious sanctity, he flipped me onto my back and plunged into me. My inner sanctum welcomed his onslaught and urge him towards the point of no return, while his massiveness stroked me to cries of triumphant provocations. The athlete poured forth his repressed libation into my receptive incubator. Not only did his release stimulate my sprightliness, but it also restructured his fiery comportment to his usual exuberance.
My Master had fallen into a peaceful slumber by the time I left the Majesty. As I proceeded towards the suite I shared with my Valet, I was determined to get to the bottom of the feud between the photographer and the athlete.
Early October 2014
Andy’s Reply to My Query, c/c to David
Hi boys,
Hahahaha!
Young, I am not a sorcerer or a wizard. I fell into a deep depression when I moved to Australia. My condition worsened, and there were days I could not get out of the bed. I also suffered from insomnia and binge-ate.
The doctors could not diagnose my problem. Instead, they prescribed me with a variety of antidepressant and sleeping pills to temporarily alleviate the complications. These drugs made matters worse and made me bilious.
One of my rowing pal, Paul, suggested I visit a native Sharman who could perform miracles on people with similar conditions like mine. It was Sharman Yarran who illuminated me on aborigine magick and magical applications. He diagnosed my problem the instant he set eyes on me. He asked if I have intimate friends in Australia. I told him that I left Canada after several disastrous relationships and I wanted to start afresh in Casterton. I had just joined the local rowing club, and Paul recommended him to me.
He shook his head and remarked, “It’s been a while since you had sexual contact with a person. Your dis-ease is from the lack of physical intimacy.”
I did not respond.
“You need to kiss, spoon, to hear someone else’s heartbeat, and to feel the touch of their hands on your body. To put it mildly, you require the intimacy of an affectionate human to disperse the negative energies that have invaded your mind, body, and soul.
“Although I can temporarily alleviate your suffering, you, yourself must release your internal negativity back to nature. I’ll recite a healing incantation and perform a cleansing ritual to drive out the fatalistic forces that had lodged in your system,” Yarran analyzed.
He instructed me to sit cross-legged in the middle of a fiery circle before he encircled the ring and sprinkled holy water into the fire before he delivered an Aboriginal chant. As soon as the water hit the flames, uncanny bluish-green vapors surrounded me. I fell into a trance.
I journeyed back in time. In my fugue state, I witnessed the discontentments, arguments, unhappiness, regrets and a host of antipathetic emotions from past relationships that surfaced like phantom apparitions to suffocate my advancement. Suddenly, a pair of loving hands reached for me like your hands, Young that held me before you fall asleep. You pulled me from the rut and lifted me to serenity, where I thrive in harmony.
When I came out of the trance, the fiery ring had dwindled to ashes. Sharman Yarran held my hands and enquired as to how I felt.
“I feel relief,” I answered.
“You’re suffering from severe sexual frustration. I suggest that you find yourself an affectionate partner to share the beauty of life,” he advised.
That evening while I laid awake in bed, I delineated my relationship failures. These were what I surmised:
I had bottled up many unresolved emotions when I left New Zealand for Canada. I had not mentioned any of my inner turmoils to anyone. I thought I had gotten over my messy breakup with my New Zealander boyfriend, Toby, but all I did was run to another country to evade my unresolved issues. I thought that my adverse predicaments would rectify itself over time. I did not suspect that it would manifest into a sexual intimacy issue.
When I got to Alberta, I was fully engaged in my engineering position and buried myself in work. I ignored everything around me and plunged into my new job with heart and soul. I had little to no contact with anyone except my colleagues, who were folks whom I would never discuss my relationship countenance. When I plowed through another detrimental separation with a French Canadian boy, Guy, my dis-ease caught up with me. Again, I ran away post-haste to Australia without confronting my precipitations.
My failed relationships had me heading in the opposite direction from any potential intimacies. Although I had casual encounters, they did nothing to satisfy my longing for that particular person. I’m sure you can guess who that person is, Young? ??
The build-up of this defeatist energy added insult to injury. It manifested as manic depression and left me little choice but to tackle my trepidations head-on. Yarran assisted me to inspect myself truthfully and openly. I spoke freely about matters of the heart, soul, and mind with him. He became my confidant.
He initiated my return to the dating arena. That was how I met Albert, my life partner of eight years who recently passed away from AIDS-related complications.
Well guys, so much for my “Magikal” experience. I look forward to your responses.
For now, I bid thee au revoir.
Andy
Mentorship (Chapter Thirty-Seven)
“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.”
John C. Crosby
End of August 1968
Daltonbury Hall, England
I was glad to be back at Tolkien Brotherhood, the fraternity dormitory I was assigned to Daltonbury Hall. Andy had returned to Kipling Society where he belonged. The week before classes resumed for
the Fall semester, I was summoned to the headmaster’s office. Although I knew that my final Household assignment was at وكر الذئب Aldhdhib Dann (Wolf Den), Tad’s palatial mansion in Riyadh; I also wanted to inform the principal of my desire to become a Big-Brother.
When I arrived at Dean Dawson Higgins’ office, Andy was already waiting outside the chamber. Since it wasn’t customary for Big-Brothers (BBs) or Valets and their respective charges to meet the principal together, I was astonished to see my Valet. After all, the principal/student audience was a private session, and a third party would be a privacy intrusion. I was eager to find out my chaperone’s present.
The moment Andy closed the office door, Dean Higgins motioned us to sit across his large oak desk.
He began, “It is nice to see the two of you back at school. How were your summer holidays?”
My Valet answered, “Thank you for asking, sir. Both Young and I had a beautiful summer in the Lake District with my auntie, and with our respective parents in London.”
“That is excellent! Let’s get down to business,” Professor Dawson expressed.
My Valet and I glanced at one another. We wondered if we had done something indecorous, but none came to our minds.
The dean continued, “Young, it is brought to my attention that your E.R.O.S. services are coming to fruition. You graduate after the Fall and Andy, your notable contribution as a Big-Brother cum Valet has been conscientiously recorded.
“My questions to the both of you - what are your plans after you leave Daltonbury Hall?”
My BB looked at me before I spoke, “Since I entered Daltonbury Hall I’d grown by leaps and bounds. I like to thank you, sir, for giving me the opportunity to experience life outside of school.”
Dr. Higgins gave an appreciative smile before he declared, “It is our responsibility to provide and equip our students with a comprehensive education to face the challenges of the outside world. And you, young man, have passed the stimulus with flying colors. The question remains - what is your plan for the foreseeable future?”