our love was but a joke,” he brought his hand up towards his face and wiped away a tear, he shook his head, braking his focus of the bridge, he then jumped up and started to pace from the bench towards the footbridge, he must have spent 5 minutes just pacing when he heard children laughing from the other side of the footbridge, he went back to the bench and sat down, he smiled at the young family as they eventually walked past, the wife smiled back at him, he waited until he could no longer hear them, “we wanted children, both of us, we even, maybe that was it, maybe you blamed me for the miscarriage, because I wasn’t with you at the time, was that when you fell out of love with me? Was that why you laughed? We could have worked it out, people do recover from losing a baby, and we could have tried again,” he watched as a bird landed next to the bench and started to look around for food, “why would you not even open the door to me? I heard you, you had to get your dad to open the door and lie to my face that you were not there, I looked into his eyes and he had to look away, he couldn’t look me in the eye, what lies did you tell him about us?”
He got up again and started to walk towards the footbridge, but this time he did not turn back, he continued and put his foot back on the middle railing again, “excuse me,” he turned towards the direction of the voice, he saw a young woman waving towards him as she jogged towards him, as she stopped in front of him he took his foot off the middle railing and quickly glanced downwards, “hi, sorry,” she then paused as if she was thinking of something to say, she then held up her camera, “I was taking some photos and I, saw you,” she pointed at him, “are you ok?” she quickly glanced at the railing.
He smiled weakly at her, “I’m fine,” he stared at her but she didn’t move, “erm,” he paused unsure what else to say; all he wanted was for her to walk away.
She laughed lightly at him, “I don’t believe you, and you look like you need to talk to someone.”
“Excuse me?” he replied slightly taken aback at the stranger.
“I said, I don’t believe you,” there was no light laugh with her reply.
“Why do you care, enjoy the rest of your day, there is a beautiful view about a mile or so down the path,” he replied rudely.
She shook her head at him, “no, I’m going to sit on the bench for a while, I’ve got an extra can of coke in my bag, do you care to join me?” He stared at her with a dumbfounded look on his face, “me,” she pointed to herself, “you,” she pointed at him, “bench,” she pointed at the bench, “drink can of coke,” she opened an imaginary can and then motioned someone drinking out of a can, “yes,” she added before taking him by the arm and leading him to the bench, he was too stunned to do anything else but follow her.
They sat down on the bench and the woman handed him a can of coke, he opened the can and took a sip, the coke was slightly warm, “so why do you want to kill yourself?” she asked as naturally as possible.
His eyes widened in surprise, “I, eh, I,”
She shook her head, “you don’t know do you?” she replied.
He thought for a moment, “she laughed at me.”
She looked at him, her mouth open in confusion, “she laughed at you,” she waved her hand at him, “why don’t you start at the beginning.”
“Seriously?” he asked.
She took a sip of coke and glanced towards the bridge, “I’m not going anywhere.”
He stared at her for a while but she showed no signs of moving, he shrugged his shoulders and thought what the hell, “Ok, we had been together for 3 years when Jennifer fell pregnant, we were both unbelievably happy, it brought us even closer than we already were,” he paused and took a sip of coke, he took a quick glance towards the bridge, the woman noticed but never commented on it, “Jennifer was about 5 months pregnant when she had a miscarriage, I wasn’t there at the time and she kind of blamed me for it happening, we carried on and things were going well and after about 6 months i asked her to marry me,” he paused as he reminisced about what had happened, “and she laughed, and we haven’t spoken since, that was about 3 months ago, she came to the flat one day while I was at work and took all her stuff,” he shrugged his shoulders, “now she won’t even return my calls.”
“So you split up, it happens, yeah it sounds bad but get over it, carry on with your life, don’t,” she didn’t need to finish that sentence.
He shook his head, “you don’t understand.”
“Oh, so you are the only person to have their heart broken,” she replied sarcastically.
“It’s complicated,” he replied, he lowered his head and looked at the ground.
“Yeah, whatever, ok my story,” he looked up at her, she grinned at him and continued, “when I was 5 years old I met someone called Karen, and we became friends for life, 25 years later, she was happily married with 2 beautiful little girls, and we were still close as ever,” tears were forming in her eyes, “she got diagnosed with cancer,” she turned and looked towards the bridge, “2 months, 2 months of pain and heartache, all she had before she died, she would have gave anything for another day with her family, another day to see her little girls smile,” she shook her head, “her husband got lost for a while, the only thing he saw, was the bottom of a bottle of vodka, he said he thought about it,” she glanced at the bridge again, “but the thought of his daughters losing both parents, he couldn’t go through with it; that was 3 years ago and he found someone else and they are expecting their first kid,” she turned towards him and placed her right hand on his knee, “life goes on.”
“I don’t have a job anymore.”
“What?” she asked.
“Well I was going to,” he nodded in the direction of the bridge, “so I told my boss to stick the job where the sun doesn’t shine, then as I was walking out I punched a work colleague who would always do my head in.”
She started to laugh, lightly at first then it was a full blown belly laugh, and tears were running down her face, he started to laugh as well, as if it was contagious; she slapped him on the knee, “looks like I’m buying dinner then,” she said as she wiped away the tears.
“Eh?”
“Decision time, you can either go out to dinner with me and take the first steps of the new you,” she pointed at the bridge, “or be a coward,” she stood up and started to walk away, she stopped and turned towards him, “I’m Helena by the way,” she then turned and started to walk away.
He looked at her as she walked away and then at the bridge, he then jumped up and shouted after her, “I’m Logan.”
The Walk Page 2