by Kevin Gordon
be tortured and killed.^
Jay glanced at them as they made their way through the chanting mob. They were naked, with many scars along their legs and arms. Some had the expressions of young children, their minds having been destroyed by the TELREC. Others scanned the room, hunting for some way to escape, still refusing to accept that the end had come. A foul stench came from them all, reeking of urine and excrement, mingled with the distinctive sour taste of fear. Though Jay didn’t recognize any of them, she couldn’t return their gaze, so ashamed was she of being there. She felt sick, with the faces of Kleder, her mother and father, and even Minnlis rising in her mind. Errece leapt from her chair to the delight of the crowd, pulling forth her blade and terrorizing the prisoners, laughing at and taunting them.
^I can’t be here,^ cast Jay, feeling sick. ^I have buried my people. I need to leave.^
Anies pouted for a moment, watching some of her friends pull down and whip the slaves. She knew it was going to be a long night of pleasure, and was loathe to miss it. But her mind was quick, and thought of some new mischief. She brightened up, grinning wide, her brown eyes flashing with perverted sin.
^Let’s go hide in one of the rooms nearby.^
Anies was always into the next thrill, wanting to have sex in public places, be naked and hidden right next to a LM stop, where even a stray glance would discover her. She had mentioned more than once how exciting it would be to do something here, so close to Denged. She led Jay into an adjacent room, holding Jay close, her eyes salivating over her body.
^Come on—let’s go in there.^
Anies led Jay into a small closet in a very large room. Dark, it had one window covered tightly with heavy drapery. As they got in, Anies disrobed, and pinned Jay against a wall, her hands running over her body, hoping someone would discover them. Jay submitted, glad to be away from the suffering of those she still considered to be her people.
She had become more accustomed to acting for Anies, faking her excitement. While once she thought that it was men she disliked, she found quickly that she disliked the mechanical nature some performed sex with. Anies was a prime example—one who wanted a thrill, not a connection, felt lust, never, ever love.
Anies was grinding hard against Jay, her fingers in her favorite places, when the sound of footsteps drifted into the closet.
^Mmm . . . someone’s so close to us, Jay.^
^Be null!^ cried Jay, pushing her away.
^I love this,^ cooed Anies, her mind filled with lascivious thoughts, running her hand over her own sex. ^It’s so fucking exciting!^
Anies looked out through an opening in the door, and her excitement turned to fear as she realized who it was coming into the room. Gilc, tall and proud, came in followed by Denged.
^Who is it?^ asked Jay trying to see. Anies pushed her back hard, turning deadly serious in an instant.
^Null your mind, and fast, if you want to live.^
Anies saw Denged stop, halfway into the room, his gaze blank. He stood, as he always stood, on feet weighted with heaviest stone, his body appearing as a pillar that held up the globes. His robes hung low on him, swimming over his perfect form, almost as rags on a golden statue. A pain was on his face that Anies had never seen before. Gilc stood near him, gazing longingly into his distant eyes, her hand seemingly fighting a battle with itself. It was rare that Anies would see Denged with only Gilc or Errece—the three seemed truly to function as one. The only time Gilc and Errece were not with Denged was when he had to torture or execute female prisoners. Seeing Gilc and Denged together now kindled a memory, something Anies remembered as being out of place.
When was it, two cas ago? They were supposed to be on a moon, with the Maenids. They were close, so tight, their bodies pressed up against one another. What did she say? Was it Gilc, that was close to Denged, that they looked at each other for a long time, and only my friend saw. I remember now. She looked back at Gilc and Denged, silently regarding one another. Gilc put her hand on his face, like a lover would. She couldn’t believe what she saw.
Tears ran down Denged’s face, and Anies would have given anything to know why. Jay saw them also, seeing the pain on the face of this man who seemed so invincible to her before.
So, he is souman, after all, thought Jay. Something causes him pain.
Gilc raised her hand to his face.
And someone gives him love.
As her hand cupped his face, Denged’s eyes closed, and he relaxed into her hand. What Jay or Anies couldn’t see or feel was the torment in Denged’s soul, the agony at letting down his guard with another, risking betrayal as Nahlai had done to him before. They couldn’t sense the void in his life yearning to be filled, the despair beckoning for hope. Denged fell to his knees, and Gilc drew his head to her stomach, cupping it with both hands, as he wept in her arms. It was a tender scene, with Gilc stroking Denged’s hair, running her hands along his shoulders. Jay and Anies each worked harder to suppress their thoughts, hoping they would not be discovered.
^Be careful, Jay,^ cast Anies carefully. ^Someone is coming.^
In the shadows, outside the room, they could see a figure moving slowly. It was Errece. She hung in the doorway, her eyes fixed on Gilc and Denged. For a few moments, they all stood this way, Denged’s head resting in Gilc’s embrace, Errece standing immobile, expressionless in the doorway. Eventually Errece moved off and Denged stood, Gilc wiping his tears. Anies and Jay could just glean their casts.
^I grow tired of celebrations of torture and blood,^ grumbled Denged, pawing at Gilc’s back with his massive hands. ^To meet one’s enemy, after a great hunt, and slaughter them while the hope of escape is in their eyes, is a magnificent thing. But to torture, and kill those who feel in their souls the cold breath of fate, brings no joy, only a sick, dark malaise.^
^It’s Nahlai, isn’t it?^ asked Gilc, running her hand along his face.
^Yes.^
^You never thought you would need to confront her again?^
^No. I knew this roa would come. It doesn’t make it any easier.^ He moved his hands slowly up her back, feeling every muscle and crease of bone under her skin. An expression of relief spread over Gilc’s face, fulfillment of a secret longing. ^My life has been one of such pain, Gilc. Not just Nahlai, but my mother and father, killed before my eyes. Do you know what I see, every time we go into battle? I see the faces of them, of my mother and father, on each man and woman we kill. It is as if I am butchering them, myself.^
He held her tighter, Anies could see his arms swell, a grimace on Gilc’s face as she adjusted to the pressure. Denged then stood, looming over Gilc, looking down into her eyes, she up into his. Neither of them knew what to do, where to take the feeling they now knew existed between them. Denged lifted his hand, and cupped her face within it, feeling the sweet softness of her cheeks in the dry roughness of his hand. She pressed her face into it, closing her eyes, wanting to be even closer to him. He drew away, his mind on a past filled with betrayal and pain, damning himself for this stirring of hope.
^Enough.^ He took a moment and straightened his clothes mechanically, not looking at Gilc’s face. He walked out, Gilc close behind. Anies turned to Jay.
^That was so damn hot!^
She kissed Jay, and got close to her, playing for a little while. Eventually, they made their way back out into the festivities, Anies going back to her friends, debating whether or not to share with anyone what she saw. Jay wandered around for a while, eventually finding Errece sitting alone near a few dead prisoners, kicking a body mindlessly. She sat down next to her.
^Why are you alone?^ tentatively asked Jay.
Jay had not ventured to cesct with Errece before. She could sense her mind was a simple and violent one that operated in black and white, with a few shades of grey. Errece replied simply.
^Don’t know.^
Her thoughts were heavy, each word like a hammer-strike. Jay knew she must be distracted, as her mind was slightly open. Jay could sense great confusion, could feel Errec
e replaying what she saw in the room, could sense a part of Errece wanted to kill Denged and Gilc for their weakness, while another part wanted dearly to have a moment such as that, some connection with another, no matter how fleeting.
Errece was a product of Novan, rescued by the TELREC when she was only nine, but not before suffering a lifetime of pain, mostly because of parents that couldn’t be bothered to repair the damage in her infant brain. She had floundered through her childhood, taken advantage by those who could feel her weakness. The TELREC could have rehabilitated her, but they built on that pain, turning her into the butcher she had become. Jay felt her past rise up within her as she watched Denged cry, lightening quick slashes of memory like sword swipes, faces and laughter and shouting and screaming. Jay pulled away, before Errece could tell she was nesting her thoughts.
^How long have you led the Maenids?^ asked Jay.
^You mean we? Ten cas.^
^You, Denged, and Gilc?^
^Yes. All together. Denged cast he saw something, in me. Saw loy-al-ty,^ Errece cast the word slowly, not fully understanding its meaning. ^He cast he need someone to stand with him. I was bored. And we fought a lot! I kill so many, make so many men pay for the things they do.^ She turned to Jay. ^They do such bad things, you know?^
^Yes, I do.^
^They mean, and cruel, hurt children, hurt the weak! But not Denged . . .^ Errece drifted