by T L Barrett
“The drinking gourd is the big dipper. The big dipper points to the North Star. How are we going to go to San Diego if we go North? Do you want to go to Canada, now?”
“No, forget that, man. We’re going to Comic-Con!” Glen said.
“Oh, man. I’ve got to take a wicked piss,” Barry moaned.
“You should have gone before we left, Barry. I did,” Glen said.
“Hey, Glen, why don’t you shut up?”
* * * *
“I don’t even get to see anything, driving through the dark like this,” Glen muttered from the back seat. “Can we pull over, soon?”
“Yeah, I was going to try to make it into the Dean State Forest, but I think we’ve had enough of state or national parks. This area doesn’t look too populated,” Barry said looking out at the forested hills that ran down to the river. “I’ll pull over soon.”
They found an old dirt road, pulled well off the road, ate the food Barry had bought at a convenience store and fell to sleep.
They awoke in a stifling muggy afternoon heat.
“Shit, where are we, the deep south?” Glen asked.
“Close enough. The southern tip of Ohio,” Barry said, yawned and stretched his arms. “Jesus, you stink. You need a bath.”
“Oh, shucks and I forgot my rubber duckie,” Glen quipped.
“I hear a river,” Barry said. He flared his nostrils. “I smell a river, right over that bank, I think. Barry motioned into the woods.
“Last one to the river, is a middle-aged were-wolf!” Glen roared and dashed through the trees and out over sight.
“I’m not middle-aged yet,” Barry growled and took after the Sasquatch.
The bank descended steeply into a little glade where a clear and cold pool of water sparkled darkly. Glen let out a great cry and launched himself from the bank, curling into a cannonball. The water sucked into an enormous crater and collapsed onto itself, sending spray toward the heavens.
Barry laughed and stripped himself naked. He gave out a little howl and leapt after his friend. He sprouted hair as he fell.
Barry and Glen swam and splashed around in the blessedly cool water. Glen turned himself onto his back and blew out a great stream of water from his mouth. Barry twirled, snapping at the water with his jaws.
“Glen,” he said a moment later. “Glen.”
Four young women stood or crouched on the far bank watching the two monsters. Barry swam backward and tapped Glen. Glen straightened and followed Barry’s hairy finger.
“Oh, man,” Glen said.
“Well, that does it. They’ve seen us,” Barry said.
Then the girls did the most inexplicable thing. They started to peel off their shirts, their shorts and undergarments.
“Hello, boys!” one of them called. “Mind if we join you?”
“Barry, are we dreaming?” Glen asked. Barry was speechless as he watched four sets of young breasts bounce their way down to the water’s edge.
An astoundingly buxom young Asian woman slid through the water toward Barry.
“Hi, my name is Stephanie,” she said.
“I’m Barry,” Barry said. “This is Glen. You aren’t afraid of us?”
“Should we be afraid of you?” a red head asked as she surfaced.
“No, definitely not,” Glen said quickly. “Right Barry? We’re just a couple of ordinary guys.”
“You can’t fool us, big guy,” a black woman with biggest smile you’ve ever seen said. “We know magical beings when we see them. This place is magical. It drew us here, just like it drew you.”
A brunette with the largest naked breasts Barry had ever seen stood on a rock and twisted out her long hair. “This place has positive energy. Our guru told us. Only the most positive and accepting of people could find their way to it. The kundalini energy flows here. It’s a nexus point, you know.”
“I love nexus points,” Glen said. The black woman giggled and splashed Glen in the face. Glen grinned and spat out water. He pulled back his mighty arm and sent a huge wave of water at the girls.
They disappeared in the tumult.
“Glen!” Barry yelled in a panic. “What have you done?” He had half convinced himself that he had been dreaming. He was now worried that this would end as most dreams did, in horror, tedious disappointment or embarrassment.
The girl’s surfaced very close to the monsters, very close.
The girls took turns being launched into the air by Glen. Barry watched in mild jealously, as Glen grappled their nubile young bodies and tossed them high.
“Tag, you’re it, wolfie!” Stephanie said and slapped Barry on the thigh. Barry looked up to see Stephanie and the busty brunette, Emma, giggling and swimming away from him. Barry growled and pursued.
When he caught them, they made a show of gasping struggle.
As they pushed their hands against his hairy sides, one of them found that which she had secretly been looking.
Barry’s legs trembled as the world tilted. Looking over, he could see that Glen had perched himself on a rock in the water, with the red head and the black woman on his lap. They were kissing his ugly mug, and twining their fingers in his hair.
After a few minutes, Glen and his two attendees got out of the water and scampered up the bank. They pulled Glen the whole way, causing him to make a grunting sound deep in his throat. They disappeared through the trees.
Suddenly, Barry and his new friends were also busy among the bushes on that high bank.
* * * *
“What are you?” Barry gasped from the pleasure that had rocked him for the countless time as dusk began to fall around them.
“We’re just girls, silly,” Stephanie said, leaned over and kissed Barry on his nose. He had never made love to a woman in his were-wolf form before. He promised himself he would again, and soon.
“Not just girls,” Emma said. The Guru says we all have magic inside us, we have to release the restrictions society has on us, and live naturally and accepting. Once we do that, we may be chosen to become one of the great ones, like you.”
“I’m not that great,” Barry grinned sheepishly.
“The best we’ve ever had, isn’t that right, Emma?” Stephanie said and kissed Barry again.
“Yeah, I hope this is a sign we’ll be chosen by the great one. He always picks the pretty ones.”
The pretty ones? Barry thought in astonishment. He was about to explain that they were as a whole the prettiest women he had ever laid eyes on, except Emma distracted him by straddling him once again.
* * * *
Much later, the girls led Barry down to where the path met a high sloping field. There, the other two girls fed Glen berries they had picked in the bushes. As Barry floated down toward them, hand in hand with his lovers, Glen looked up. The Sasquatch had the same dopey look on his face that Barry knew he now wore.
“This is how I always wanted marijuana to make me feel, but it never did,” Barry thought to himself.
The girls brought them up over the bank to a higher flatter field. There a house sat at the end of a long driveway. Tents and homemade teepees dotted the field in back of the house. Lines of prayer flags flapped in a gentle breeze as they hung from long lines between the teepees. Further down the field, toward the tree line, someone had erected a stage-like platform.
“You’ll really like Lady SilverMoonBird,” Stephanie told them. “She’s very wise. She’s a professor. This is her place.”
“What is she a professor of?” Glen asked.
“Women’s Studies, and ancient spiritual practice,” the red head chimed. “That’s how I met her.”
“I read her books. They’re brilliant!” Emma said.
“I wonder if she’s around,” Stephanie said.
“She’s probably in meditational retreat. She only allows a few of the guys to go in there with her. They’re a bunch of suck ups,” the black woman said.
“I know, like total whore bags, huh?” the red head chuckled. The two
women slapped each other five. They both winced, putting their hands on their thighs and grinned sheepishly at each other. Barry looked at the stupid look on Glen’s face and sighed.
“So, Lady Hawkmoon—”
“Lady SilverMoonBird,” Emma corrected. “Actually, it’s Lady SilverMoonBird of the New Awakening Day, but nobody actually calls her that.”
“There’s no fucking way that’s her birth name,” Glen said.
“That’s not what this place is about, big guy,” the black woman said, taking his hand. It’s about shedding your old skin and being born anew.
Glen stopped.
“Barry,” Glen hissed. “I think this is a C-U-L-T.” Barry waved his hand at Glen’s face.
“So, this Lady SilverMoonBird is your guru?” Barry asked.
“No,” Stephanie said. The girl’s giggled. “She trains us to prepare for the Great One’s wisdom. He only comes every once in a while. You’re in luck though. He’s coming here tonight.”
“I know that your coming will bring us great favor in his eyes,” Emma said. Barry was torn from feeling very turned on and very afraid of the strange distant look on Emma’s beautiful face.
“Let’s get something to eat,” Glen suggested.
The women fed them both mounds of organically grown produce and stew, and falafel. Glen never complained once. Afterward, people seemed to appear from all over. They wore robes and lit torches. The girls took Glen and Barry to the edge of the clearing and brought them robes of their own. Glen had to settle with a king sized bed sheet and a bobby pin.
“Do you want to sing?” the black woman, Rhonda, asked. “Lady SilverMoonBird encourages us to celebrate the Great One’s coming. “I can try to play along with this guitar, but I’m not very good.”
“I can play the guitar,” Barry suggested, mildly.
“You can fuckin’ not, Barry,” Glen said.
“I can fuckin’ too, Glen,” Barry retorted. “I just never have around you, is all.”
“Why not?” Glen asked.
“Well…I just thought it is all kind of pretentious. You know that guy that’s always at the parties, sitting there with the guitar, hoping it will get him lucky…”
“Dude, you are so weird,” Glen said.
Rhonda handed over the guitar and Barry tuned it up. He started in on some Zeppelin.
The girls laughed excitedly and clapped.
“Hey, I’ve got bongos!” Emma exclaimed.
“You sure do,” Glen said. “I’ll play with your bongos.” Emma blushed crimson and handed over her large bongos to Glen.
Glen thumped out a righteous tribal rhythm.
“I didn’t know you could do that,” Barry said.
“Huh, I didn’t either,” Glen said. They played together. The girls got up and danced sinuously with each other.
Afterward, the women cuddled with their monster lovers and looked up at the stars.
“We make beautiful music together, buddy,” Glen sighed.
“I’m not sure you should ever say that again,” Barry said.
“Uh, maybe not.” He scooted a little closer. “I told you that we would be getting lucky.”
“You sure did. I never would have imagined.”
Somewhere a horn sounded.
“We have to go to the temple stage,” Emma said. They followed the girls to the crowd of robed cultists sitting in the grass. The stage was lit with great flaming braziers that looked like they came out of a Conan movie. Great effigies of curled snakes had been placed on both sides of the stage.
A middle aged woman with silver hair came out onto the stage. She spread her arms and the crowd became silent.
“Blessed ones! Hear my cry! Let your snakes spring free,” she shouted.
“Let your snakes spring free,” the crowd shouted in litany.
“Too late,” Glen muttered. Barry snickered. A lot of robed figures turned, noticed the giant in the sheet and continued to stare.
“What are you looking at?” Glen growled. Barry put a hand on Glen’s arm.
“The Great One approacheth,” the lady screamed, and the crowd went wild. When they died down, Lady SilverMoonBird took on a serious demeanor.
“People, your gifts to the great one have been generous. You must remember your vows. You must endeavor to reach out to those on the outside. Speak to your families and tell them the good work that you are doing, and ask them to send their blessings and more of the wealth that will bring the great one’s work to fruition!”
“Wait a minute,” Barry whispered and leaned close to Emma and Stephanie. “What do your parents do?”
“My mom is a neurosurgeon,” Stephanie said. “My dad’s a defense contractor. They suck.”
“My dad is an investment banker,” Emma said and made a face. “A total douche bag!”
“Remember the tenants of the serpent, enlightenment before worldly attachment, riches from enlightenment!” Lady SilverMoonBird continued. The crowd applauded, however, with less enthusiasm.
“A pyramid scheme. That’s what this is!” Barry whispered to Glen.
“Now, we must prepare ourselves, in silence, children,” Lady SilverMoonBird said. “We must prepare ourselves so that we may learn to embrace the power of our inner snakes and show them, someday, as the Great One does.”
“Dude, he’s going to show us his snake!” Glen chuckled.
The crowd was silent. The flames in the sconces flickered in a little breeze.
A black limousine rolled off the driveway and bumped softly into the edge of the field.
A driver in black got out, came around the car and opened the back door. A tall and handsome dark haired man got out. He wore an Armani suit, and his black leather shoes shone in the torchlight.
He strode with purpose to the stage and mounted the steps. At the top, Lady SilverMoonBird bowed low before him, and flapped her arms around. Two acolytes came forward and smudged the Great One with bundles of burning herbs.
Finally, he stepped forward and raised his hands to the crowd of believers. A great cry went up. He raised his hands, and they went up higher. Barry looked around to see the faces of the people around him turning red and purple with the strain. Still, the Great One’s hands rose higher.
Someone’s going to pass out. This guy’s a bastard. Look at him smirk! Barry thought.
The Great One dropped his arms with finality and the people fell down to the ground in a great gasping bow.
“Dude, this is totally fucked,” Glen whispered to Barry.
“Now, blessed ones, I have come here to do three things. The first is to remind you of an important fact: We stand in a most exquisite paradox…as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can’t have it. The minute you don’t want power, you’ll have more than you ever dreamed possible.”
“My aides will come around and help you give it all up. Freedom is in sight, people!”
“This is so wrong!” Barry said aloud. “He just quoted Baba Ram Dass! He’s a total fraud.”
“Barry, what is the matter?” Stephanie said turning, her gorgeous face perplexed.
“I—I just—I’m not sure that he has all of your best interests in mind,” Barry said.
Stephanie looked concerned. Emma took both of their hands in hers.
“No, you’ll see, Barry. The Great One is honest. He really has become enlightened. You will see it,” Emma assured him. Barry shrugged and watched two well-dressed men move through the crowd, holding out a hat for people to drop in checks and jewelry.
“The second reason is also a reminder,” the Great One said, running his piercing gaze over the gathered. “It is a reminder to all those who have any doubt clinging to your hearts like a cancer that would destroy your chances of shedding your own skin and becoming one with your inner snake. I have walked this Earth, I have seen the suffering and I have shed it off with my skin. Now, I take your doubt onto myself and shed it with my skin.”
The Great o
ne reached up and pulled the skin off of his face. The crowd let out a great sound of exhalation and wonder. Underneath scales glittered in the torchlight. Reptilian eyes, cold and void of anything but hunger and calculation glittered in the torchlight. Barry felt a great chill run up his spine. He felt his hair sprouting under the hood of his robe.
“Barry,” Glen said. “Is that what I think it is?”
“I think so,” Barry breathed.
“I fucking hate these guys,” Glen grumbled. He looked to see the two ladies at his sides watching the serpent man on the stage, tears glittered in their eyes. Glen put a hand under Rhonda’s chin and snapped his huge fingers. Rhonda remained motionless, entranced by the gaze of her guru.
“This isn’t good, buddy,” Glen said.
“I know,” Barry said.
“Now,” the Great One hissed, “for the third reason that I have come. I will choose three of you, who will take that great next step toward enlightenment. Tonight you will leave the life you knew behind. This has been but a knocking of a door for you. Tonight you will walk through that door. You will not come back.”
A music began, a winding sinuous music. Lady SilverMoonBird danced, scarves flowing from her wrists. She twined about the air around the Great One. She danced and spun, weaving in closer and closer. He took her in his arms and dipped her low. She panted, anticipation on her painted face uplifted in the torchlight for all to see. The Great One’s tongue came out. His fangs glistened.
“Please Lord, this time…take me…make me like you…please…” Lady SilverMoonBird moaned.
The Great One stared at her for one deadly moment and then stepped away. Two robed acolytes caught Lady SilverMoonBird and dragged her, weeping, away.
With great pomp, the Great One raised a finger and pointed out to the crowd.
“Me?” a round faced man asked with excited joy. He flapped his hands in effeminate delight.
“No, not you,” hissed the Great One, “I’m pointing at the oriental woman, there.” He jabbed his finger at Stephanie. “You, yes you. Step forward and you shall be gifted with enlightenment!”
“Me?” Stephanie asked. She suddenly looked so young and apprehensive.