by Toby Wise
“Hey, guys!”
“Uncle Matty!” Emma yells, jumping up from her seat and running into Matt’s arms. He picks her up, hugging her tight.
I stand slowly, the ringing in my ears making it hard to keep myself on task. The moment I’ve waited for is here. It would be so fucking easy. Just walk over to him and lay a smooch on his cheek-- no, on his lips. To pull him into a hug and tell him I love him. I can do this. I will do this.
My legs quake as I step forward, putting one foot in front of the other. Matt’s laugh sounds through the room, my chest constricting at the beautiful sound. Oh god, am I really doing this?
I step up until I’m right in Matt’s space. I open my mouth to say those words that’ll change everything forever. Only nothing comes out. Because I’m suddenly hit with a scent that is very much not Matt’s.
Fuck. The smell winds around me, making my stomach coil with nausea, bile rising up in my throat. Oh fuck, it’s sweet like an omega.
“Hey,” I greet, trying to keep my face from showing the absolute devastating feeling that’s harboring inside of my chest. I can feel my eyes prickling unpleasantly and before a single tear can fall, I walk right past Matt towards the kitchen. “Why don’t you get changed while I get dinner finished?”
I listen as Matt and Emma chat animatedly as my entire world view comes shattering around me. I really shouldn’t be surprised. I’m an alpha pining after another alpha for fuck’s sake. The sooner I get over this stupid crush the better for everyone involved. God, I can’t believe I almost kissed him.
I quickly take the roast out of the crock pot, cutting up pieces so they’re small enough for Emma. I go through the motions, ignoring the way my hands are shaking. My throat feels like it might actually close up as I hold my tears back. Fuck. Why did I get this stupid idea in my head? Why did I think that almost kiss actually meant something? It was weeks ago and I can’t stop thinking about it. Am I really so desperate?
I set Emma’s plate at her seat at the table and Matt’s at his before turning back to the kitchen. I plate up my own food, giving myself a much smaller portion, wondering if I’ll be able to stomach any of it. I’ve been salivating over this food all day but now my stomach twists almost painfully.
“Hurry Uncle Hayhay!”
I put on my best smile as I walk over to the table. My eyes look everywhere but across the table at Matt, unable to even look at him. There’s still a real possibility that I burst into tears at any moment and I’m really not looking forward to explaining why.
“How was your day?” Matt asks as we eat.
“It was good,” I say, nodding my head. “We colored you some pictures.”
When I finally look up, Matt is smiling at me fondly and my heart fucking cracks all over again. Why is he looking at me like that when he’s got an omega?
Clearing my throat, I ask the question. “Why were you late?”
“Oh,” Matt says, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “I went and saw Noah again.”
And there’s the confirmation, the metaphorical nail in my stupid heart’s coffin. Noah. The omega he met while at the park. You’d think I’d be used to these feelings by now, but I’m not. They still steal my breath with their intensity. “Cool,” I force myself to say, giving him a small smile.
As quickly as I can, I shove the last of my food into my mouth before pushing my seat out. “I uh, I got called into work,” I tell Matt. “So I’m gonna go work for a few hours.”
“Alright.”
On my way out he stops me. “I just wanted to remind you that Thanksgiving is at my Mom’s this year.”
Oh, right. Thanksgiving. Without Tristen or Jeff. Fuck. Could this day actually get any worse?
“Awesome. I’ll make that casserole your Mom loves.” And without another word, I walk out of our apartment.
The walk is cold. It helps clear my head. Thankfully, my work office isn’t far from our apartment, one of the reasons we decided to live here. Not that I have to come into work all that often. I design book covers for a living, so anywhere I can take my laptop is where I can work. Matt on the other hand, works literal bank hours as a branch manager at the local bank. I swipe my card and the door clicks, signaling it’s unlocked.
I quickly walk through the halls to my office. My cubical mate seems to still be hard at work which surprises me as it’s almost seven. Weird.
“Hey,” I say gently, hoping not to scare her.
A blue head of hair whips around to stare at me with wide eyes. “Hayden!” Lucy calls out, jumping out of her seat to hug me. I hug her back, probably tighter than is usual but she doesn’t seem to mind. I haven’t technically been back to the office since everything happened, instead working from home so I can stay with Emma.
“It’s so good to see you, Lucy.”
“God,” she murmurs against my chest. “I was wondering if you weren’t coming back.”
“I’m back now,” I say, finally pulling back.
She slaps my chest. “Next time, could you at least send me a fucking email?”
I roll my eyes at her. For such a tiny omega, Lucy is fierce! “Of course. I’m sorry. Things have just been crazy.”
“I imagine,” she says before her eyes widen, a smile curling her lips. “And I guess congratulations are in order?”
“Uh,” I hum in confusion. “What?”
Lucy taps her nose and suddenly my cheeks are blazing. “Someone smells like whiskey and leather and as I recall, a certain someone might also share those scents?”
I shake my head, my stomach sinking. “It’s not like that.” We sit down at our cubes, pulling our chairs out so we can still see each other past the partition. “Emma moved into Matt’s room and Matt moved into mine.”
Lucy’s eyes widen. “So you two are sharing a room?”
I nod my head. “Yeah. And a fucking bed. But that’s it.” I clear my throat, running my fingers through my hair, no doubt messing it up even more than it usually is. “I’m pretty sure he’s got a boyfriend.”
Lucy tilts her head, her blue hair dipping into her eyes. “You’re not sure? You guys are best friends. I’m sure he would’ve mentioned having a boyfriend.”
“They’ve been seeing each other. Just today he came home smelling like someone else.”
Lucy frowns, her brows wrinkling. “Hayden,” she murmurs but I cut her off.
“It’s fine,” I tell her. “He’s allowed to date. Like you said, we’re just best friends.”
“God. Alphas are idiots.”
That finally breaks my mood, helping me to laugh. “Speaking of alphas,” I say, leaning back in my seat, my laptop and book covers I needed to work on forgotten in favor of catching up with my friend. “Tell me all about your newest beau.”
Chapter Nine
Matt
Hayden’s been acting weird but I can’t really put my finger on it. He still makes dinner at night, still snuggles up with Emma and I for movie night, still gives me that special smile that feels like it’s just for me, but there’s something different. It’s almost like he’s pulling away from me, distancing himself. I feel like I’m going crazy. Is it all in my head or is he really acting different?
Fuck. Noah’s words must have fucked up my head. Now that I’ve said my wishes out loud; now that I’ve spoken my greatest desires, they’re real. And now that they’re real, I’m hyper-aware of Hayden. It’s like my eyes have been opened after I’ve been clenching them shut for so long. Now I notice the way he looks at me before quickly looking away, or the way he gently touches my neck randomly, unconsciously scent marking me before remembering himself and blushing.
With Emma on my hip and Hayden at my side, I knock on my parent’s door. “Stop fidgeting,” I murmur under my breath.
Hayden groans. “You know I always get nervous,” he says back. “Your parents are basically mine at this point but I always wanna make a good impression. One of us has to be the favorite, after all.”
I turn to Hayden,
my mouth open in shock which only makes him laugh. Before I can give him some sort of comeback, the door flies open. “Hayden! Matthew!” my mother greets with a wide smile.
“Hey, Mama,” I say much gentler than her. She pulls me into a hug, careful to wrap her arms around Emma as well.
Mama turns towards Hayden, pulling him into a tight hug. It’s comical to see the two of them, Hayden so tall and my Mama so short. There’s just something about seeing them together that has my heart skipping a beat, my alpha hindbrain whispering that my family accepts my mate. Ugh, stupid alpha brain.
“Come on, come on,” Mama says, ushering us inside from the cold. My father greets us next, as Mama takes the casserole from Hayden’s hands.
“It’s good to see you, boys,” Dad says warmly. It doesn’t take long before we’re all standing around in the kitchen, chatting and snacking. Dad hands Hayden and I a glass of his good scotch and it makes me warm. A little voice whispers family, young, mate, good. My instincts feel closer to the surface than usual as I near my rut.
“So,” Mama says stepping next to me. We both watch as Hayden helps Emma put a puzzle together, both of them smiling and laughing. They’re so fucking beautiful together. Mine.
“Yes?”
“Don’t get snippy with me,” she says, pinching my side, making me yelp. “I wanna know how it finally happened.”
“How what happened?”
Mama rolls her eyes at me. “Don’t play dumb either. Tell me who made the first move. Your father and I have been betting on when you’d finally end up together. It’s sad it took a tragedy but I’m glad you finally saw what was right in front of you.”
“I-- Umm-- I’m sorry what?”
Mama looks up at me, tilting her head in confusion. “I’m just trying to get the details, dear. I can smell that you two are together finally.”
“Oh my god, Mama,” I groan, finally putting the pieces together. I place my palm against her face. “Keep your nose to yourself!”
Mama laughs, her eyes lighting up with mischief before she’s licking my hand, making me pull away with a laugh. I look back over at Hayden and he suddenly looks up. Our eyes meet for a moment and I feel my breath leave me. As quickly as it happened, Hayden looks away, going back to working with Emma.
“See. You two are great together. It’s about fucking time,” Mama says.
I look down at her, suddenly serious. “You don’t mind? That we’re both alphas?” My Mama and Father are a traditional couple. Mom’s an omega and Dad’s an alpha.
Mama scoffs. “Like I care,” she says. “I just care that my boy is happy and no one makes him happier than his best friend.”
I sigh. “And that’s all we are,” I murmur under my breath. “But I want more,” I confess.
“Why do you smell like you’re together?”
“We’re sharing a bed,” I say with a wince. “Which isn’t helping my feelings in the slightest.”
Mama looks at Hayden for another moment before smiling up at me, reaching up to cup my cheek. “I think maybe you’re both idiots who refuse to see what’s in front of you.”
“Mama!”
“I just call ‘em like I see ‘em, dear.”
Then she picks up Dad’s scotch, topping off my glass. I shake my head before sipping the drink, letting it warm my belly. I’m not sure how it happened, but by the end of the night, I’ve got quite the buzz happening and Hayden isn’t too far behind me. Has Mama really been refilling our glasses this much?
Hayden leans against my shoulder as we sit on the couch next to each other, Dad retelling the story of how he almost blew up a frozen turkey. When Hayden laughs, I suddenly find myself absolutely captivated, staring at his carefree face. I’m suddenly overwhelmed by how much I love him. Without a second thought, I wrap my arm around his shoulders, his head leaning tighter against me as we snuggle.
I shift in my seat as my cock hardens without my permission. Instead of imagining Hayden’s easy laugh, I’m suddenly overcome with ideas that are much more suited for our bedroom. Fuck. Our bedroom. My alpha hindbrain is growling in approval, going all animalistic in its wants. It murmurs sexy ideas in my head, like pinning Hayden down and fucking him, or falling to my knees to worship his cock.
“Matthew? Dear?” Mama’s voice pulls me from my head and I stare with wide eyes at her.
I awkwardly clear my throat. “Yeah?”
“I think it might be time for you to head home,” she says gently.
I nod my head before standing up, surprised when my head swims and I almost lose my balance. “Maybe you should grab Emma,” I say with an amused huff to Hayden.
“Oh no, dear,” Mama says. “Emma can stay here for the weekend. We’ll have a proper sleepover. Would you love that, sweetie?”
Emma lets out an excited cheer. “Yes. Please, please, please! I stay!”
“You don’t have to do that, Mama,” I say with a wince, wondering why my head is making me feel like I’m underwater, my ears tuned into Hayden’s breathing. “Plus we didn’t pack enough clothes.”
“Nonsense. You think I haven’t gone crazy making the guest room up for her, including clothes? It’s time I spent some proper grandma time with my girl.”
Oh. Fuck. That was apparently not the right thing to say to calm me down, because seemingly out of nowhere, I feel my inner alpha raise its head. It practically preens at the thought of having a proper offspring. And just like that, all I wanna do is get home and mate. What the hell?
“Oh,” I whisper.
“Are you okay?” Hayden asks next to me, gently touching our wrists together. Which has my instincts freaking out again, knowing my mate is scent marking me, making me smell like him, like I’m taken.
“I’m going into rut,” I whisper back, my wide eyes meeting Hayden’s.
Hayden freezes for a moment before he gets into action, picking up our things and getting us an uber since we’ve both been drinking. Mama and Dad give us both hugs on our way out. We leave, but not before hugging and kissing Emma, explaining that we’ll be back and to have fun.
Inside the Uber, I can’t help but worry my bottom lip. This is the first time we’re away from Emma since everything happened and my chest clenches with worry. But I also can’t help thinking about my last conversation with Noah. Everything inside of me is begging me to move over, to slide into Hayden’s lap, to wrap my arms around his neck and rub my beard against his throat. I wanna mark him with my beard and my scent, I want to fuck him and be fucked by him. I want, want, want.
I rush into our apartment as soon as the Uber parks. I pace the living room as I wait for Hayden to follow. Oh god. Can I even ask him? The scotch is making my head foggy and my alpha instincts are making me on edge.
“Hey,” Hayden says gently when he walks through the door. “Are you doing okay?”
I nod my head, staring at him with wide eyes. He walks to the kitchen, coming back with a Gatorade and a sleeve of crackers. Always taking care of me. Fuck. Without my consent, my feet lead me to Hayden until I’m stood right in front of him. He’s right here, within inches. I could touch him right now. Hell, I could kiss him we’re so close.
“Matt?”
My eyes jump from his lips up to his green eyes. They’re so pretty. Why have I never noticed how fucking pretty they are? Our young would have such pretty eyes. Wait, what?
I shake my head, trying to push my alpha instincts away, to keep a clear head. But then, Hayden is touching my hip gently. My cock slowly fills with blood as Hayden’s whiskey scent washes over me. God, it smells so fucking good and my mouth fills with saliva.
“Hey,” Hayden whispers, his voice gentle, pulling me from the messy maze inside my head. “I’m here. You’re okay, Matty.”
I nod my head slowly before licking my lips and to my delight, Hayden’s eyes follow the path of my tongue. I take the Gatorade from his hand but neither of us steps away.
“I--” Hayden starts to say but his voice breaks. He tries again.
“I could help you.”
My eyes flick between his. “Help me? Through my rut?”
He nods, his eyes never leaving mine. “Yeah. However you need.”
I’m frozen. Hayden’s just asked me something that I’ve only ever dreamed about. Having him help me through my rut would be a literal dream come true. Fuck. Could I get away with that? Would he immediately know my feelings for him? Would this ruin everything?
I want this. I want this so fucking badly.
“It’s okay,” he says, his hands coming around my hips as he steps forward. I let out a groan as our fronts touch, our hips bumping against each other. When I don’t stop him, Hayden ducks down. His nose runs against my throat and I shudder at the touch. My neck is so fucking sensitive, especially during my rut and I can feel myself slowly slipping, slowly losing all sense of control.
“If you kiss my throat,” I warn, my voice sounding husky and broken even to my own ears. “You won’t be leaving without me fucking you.”
Instead of recoiling, Hayden smiles against my neck before puckering up and kissing the skin. Fuck. My entire body suddenly feels like I’ve touched a live wire, jolting with pleasure that slides down my spine. Holy shit, he wants me. He wants me as much as I want him. And I’m willing to take this piece of him. I’m willing to take any scrap he’s willing to toss my way because this little bit is better than never having him at all. This is gonna lead to heartbreak, I just fucking know it. But then Hayden is pushing his hips forward, rubbing his hard cock against my own and I can’t think about anything else.
I grab the back of his head, pulling him away from my throat by his curly hair. He’s almost panting, his eyes dilated. “You really wanna do this?” I ask. “Are you really sure? Because once this starts, there’s no way I’m gonna be able to stop.”
“I’m sure,” he says. And then he’s leaning forward, doing the one thing that’ll change everything forever. Hayden kisses me.