by Toby Wise
“I’m proud of you,” Noah says and I swear I can hear the smile in his voice. “Get your man tonight!”
“Yeah. I think I will,” I say slowly, the reality just now sinking in. “Okay, well, I’ll see you tonight.”
“See ya tonight, lover boy.”
I walk past a store and stop dead in my tracks. Am I chancing fate? Before I can talk myself out of it, I walk in. One of the workers steps up to me as I gaze down into the glass display cases.
“Looking for something in particular?” he asks, nodding towards the display I’m currently eyeing up. Everything inside looks beautiful, but there’s one in particular that just screams ‘Hayden’ to me.
I smile at him, pointing into the display. “Yeah. Something for my mate.”
Chapter Fifteen
Hayden
“Oh, honey! I’m home!” Matt calls as he steps into the house, his arms filled with bags. I smile at him, giving him a little wave in greeting. As he steps past me towards our bedroom, he stops to leave a kiss to the top of my head. “Are you all packed and ready to go, sweetheart?” Matt asks, looking down at Emma.
“Where are we going?”
Matt pauses to look at me in confusion. “I swear I talked to you about it already?”
“Uh. No.” Confusion swirls around in my head as I wrack my brain for this conversation. “I don’t remember anything.”
“Oh,” Matt says with a shrug. “It’s not a big deal.”
I turn around on the couch so I can look up at Matt fully. “Except it kinda is? Why is Emma packing? This is something we should talk about, Matt.”
“Hayden, it’s fine,” Matt says, walking away from me to go put the bags away.
“I’m gonna go talk to him,” I murmur to Emma before standing. “Finish your puzzle, sweetheart.” I follow behind Matt, confused. I lean against the door frame, watching as he hides gifts in the closet, humming as he goes. The smile on his face is infectious, his cheeks rosy and bright. He looks happy. “So what’s going on?”
Matt looks over at me, waving his finger. “No, no, no. Don’t peek! I have gifts in here for you too and I don’t want you seeing them yet.”
I roll my eyes at him, shaking my head. “What’s gotten into you?”
“What can I say?” he asks, upping his dramatics. “I’ve found the Christmas spirit?”
“Any particular reason for that?”
Matt pauses for a moment before he looks at me, giving me a blinding smile. “Let’s just say, I finally have something-- someone to celebrate.”
Heat rises in my cheeks as I look down at the ground, biting my bottom lip to keep myself from asking who that could be. My inner alpha is screaming at me, demanding answers; he’s so fucking sure Matt is talking about me.
Matt finishes putting the presents away before going into Emma’s room and packing her bag. “Are we going somewhere?” I ask again, watching Matt work.
“Nope. You and I are staying in tonight.”
“Then what’s with the bag?”
“Emma’s going to stay with a friend tonight. A sleepover with her friend Mac.”
“How come I’ve never heard of this friend?”
Matt finishes packing Emma’s bag. Everything feels like it’s happening so fast, like I’m missing some giant puzzle piece. It’s frustrating the hell out of me. “I’m positive I’ve talked to you about him before. Whenever you’re working late the four of us go have dinner or something until you get home.”
“Do I know his parents?”
“His omega dad is a single parent. I’m sure I’ve talked about him before. His name is Noah.”
My heart stops. Noah. I know that name. I fucking know that name. That’s the omega that Matt met while we were at the park last month. Fuck. Have they really been dating this entire time? How could I be so stupid?
“Oh,” I finally say. “Right.”
There’s a knock at the door and I watch as Matt’s face lights up. No. I can’t do this. I can’t see this. Fuck. I feel like hiding in my bedroom until all of this is over.
“And that’s Noah. Right on time,” Matt says with a smile, going to the door.
It’s like watching a horror movie. My eyes just won’t look away despite how much I scream at myself. I don’t wanna see this, I can’t. It hurts so badly, yet I keep on staring.
“Matthew!” Noah greets, pulling Matt into a tight hug. Matt leans down, kissing the short omega on the cheek. The gesture looks so fucking familiar, like Matt does this all the time. My heart is shattering into a thousand pieces, scattering across my chest. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to put it back together again.
“It’s so good to see you, Noah. Thanks again for doing this.”
“It’s my pleasure. You know how much I love Emma.”
Cool. So this guy has also met Emma and knows her well enough to take her overnight. Great. This is all just fucking great.
Noah turns towards me, his face brightening. “And you, handsome, must be Hayden?”
I swallow down the bile that threatens to choke me. “That’s me,” I say, holding out my hand to shake his. His eyes are so bright as he looks up at me, almost like he knows a secret that I don’t. Maybe the secret is that I’m the biggest dumbass. Yeah, that must be it. He’s in on the joke of me loving my best friend and my best friend not loving me back.
I take a step back, my stomach twisting, feeling like it’s slowly filling with acid. I watch as Matt kisses Emma’s cheek, helping her into her coat and hat. Then she runs up to me, giving me a hug and a kiss, telling me she loves me. It takes everything inside of me not to burst out in tears at the moment of tenderness. “I love you, Emma. Be good for Noah.”
My inner alpha is practically whimpering. He’s not sure if we should be snarling or crying, and honestly, I’m not sure either. On the one hand, I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew I’d never get to be with Matt and seeing him with his omega is just pushing that point across. On the other hand, fuck Matt. We fucking slept together during his rut! While he was dating Noah! Does Noah even know? Fuck. This entire situation is horrible and I feel sick to my stomach.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow. If you need anything, I’ll have my phone on,” Matt says before he says goodbye. Once the door clicks shut, I feel myself break. Tears fall from my eyes, dripping down my cheeks, my heart speeds up, hammering painfully against my ribs.
Matt turns around and freezes. “Hayden?”
“No,” I say with such force that it even surprises me. “No. Just don’t.”
“What’s going on?”
“Like you don’t fucking know,” I say, letting my anger take over. “God. I can’t fucking believe you, Matt.”
Matt raises his hands, his face draining of color. “I don’t understand.”
I let out an unimpressed snort which sounds suspiciously wet. I rub my eyes furiously, my blood growing hotter and hotter. “You and I spent your rut together.”
“I know,” Matt says slowly, his eyes widening. “Do you regret it now?”
“Of course I do!” I yell, and Matt flinches. I shake my head, shame washing over me. “Why didn’t you just ask your boyfriend to go through your rut with you? Why would you ask me?” Matt’s eyes, which were growing wet with tears, suddenly widen. But I don’t stop my rant. If I don’t get all of this out, I’m not sure I ever will. “Why did you do it, Matt? Was it because you knew I had feelings for you? Knew I’d be an easy lay?” The tears are back and I don’t swipe them away, I don’t try to hide them. “God. Fuck you, Matt,” I grit out, losing my steam all at once.
Matt lunges forward, grabbing my face between his palms and kissing me. I let out an irritated growl, shoving him away. “What the fuck are you doing? I just told you to fuck off.”
Matt is panting, his eyes bleeding with alpha red as he stares at me. “Listen to me. Let me explain. Please.”
I shouldn’t. I should pack my shit. I should go for a walk to cool off. I should do something. But be
cause of his desperate look and because, even through all of this, my stupid asshole heart beats for Matt, I nod. “Fine.”
One tear falls from Matt’s eye and I watch, transfixed, as it slides down his cheek, over his beard. “Hayden. I love you.”
My eyes snap up. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I am in love with you. I have been for years.”
I shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest. “Are you purposely being mean right now? Are you making fun of me?”
“No. Fuck no. Hayden, I love you. I wanna be with you. Noah and I aren’t dating.”
“You’re not?”
Matt shakes his head, his eyes holding a desperation I’ve never seen before. “Hayden, he’s my therapist. I’ve been seeing him to deal with losing Jeff and Tristen.”
“He’s your--”
“Yeah. My therapist. And also my friend,” Matt admits sheepishly. “His son, Mac, has become friends with Emma.”
My head is light enough to practically blow me over. I stand there, with my mouth open as I process Matt’s words. “Oh,” I finally say softly. My stomach flips but this time, with excited butterflies. “Oh!”
“Yeah,” Matt says, his face breaking out into a smile. “I love you. I love the way you smell. I love the way you cook for us. I love the way you’re with Emma. I love that you have a different coffee order depending on what season it is. Hayden, I love everything about you.” He steps forward and when I don’t recoil, he keeps coming forward until we’re chest to chest. “I’m sorry I wasn’t forthcoming about my feelings before we slept together. When you offered,” he says, shaking his head. “I don’t know. I just figured having you once was better than not having you at all. It was selfish.”
I can barely breathe.
“Please,” Matt says gently. “Say something. Have I fucked this all up? Am I too late?”
I shake my head slowly. “No. Never.” My hands finally move, pulling Matt into a hug. As always, he fits perfectly against my chest and I’m overcome with my emotions. “I love you, too. I love you so fucking much, Matty. I’ve loved you for so fucking long I’m not sure I even remember what it’s like to not be in love with you.”
Matt’s hands tighten against the back of my shirt. He lets out a shaky breath, his body going slack against me.
“The only person who knew was Tristen.”
Matt snorts. “I told Tristen, too,” he admits. “I wish I would have listened to his advice way back then.”
“Me too,” I whisper. “But I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of holding myself back.” I pull away, cupping Matt’s face between my palms. “I love you. And I want you. Be my mate, Matty.”
Chapter Sixteen
Matt
“Be my mate, Matty.”
My body comes to an abrupt halt. I close my eyes, just reveling in the sentence Hayden just spoke. God. I’ve wanted to hear this exact thing for so fucking long and now that he’s said it, I just wanna memorize this moment. My skin breaks out in goosebumps and the tiniest choked sob leaves my throat. When I finally open my eyes again, I’m startled to find Hayden’s eyes just as red as I know mine are, our inner alphas reaching out for each other.
“Hayden,” I whisper gently, my face breaking out into a smile. “If I kiss you right now, are you gonna shove me away again?”
Hayden snorts, the tension of the moment breaking. He shakes his head at me before grabbing my face and kissing me. This kiss is so different from our others. Before there was desperation, both of us wondering if this will be the only time we’d get to experience this. Now, it’s gentle and sweet and slow. It’s a kiss that signals the beginning of something. It’s a kiss that stays soft, knowing there’ll be more in the future, knowing we can just savor the here and now because it’s only the beginning rather than the end.
“I could get used to that,” Hayden whispers gently against my lips.
“Good,” I say right away. “Because I’m not going anywhere.” My thumb runs over Hayden’s cheek, so soft compared to my own bearded cheek. “And to answer your question, yes. Of course I’ll be your mate.”
Hayden pulls me into his arms, holding me tight. We stand there, swaying back and forth, just holding each other. Hayden’s mouth finds the side of my throat and I shiver as his lips press against my sensitive skin. Hayden opens his mouth, darting his tongue out and my pulse speeds up, my hands tightening in the back of his shirt.
“Fuck,” I gasp out as he runs his teeth over my skin. “Hayden. You know what neck kisses do to me.”
“I do,” he says, his lips never leaving my neck. “They get you all riled up and desperate to fuck.”
Oh shit. I can’t stop the whine that leaves my lips at his words. My cock fills with blood until it’s throbbing against my zipper, begging for some friction. One of my hands comes up to Hayden’s head, gripping his messy mop, holding him still. Hayden works relentlessly, marking what’s his-- Oh god, that thought has my knees nearly buckling. I’m Hayden’s. His teeth and his tongue work in tandem, leaving a sizeable mark on my throat. It feels so good and I can’t stop the noises of pleasure that escape.
“Hayden,” I finally get out through my panting, desperate enough to beg. “Please. Bedroom.”
Hayden pulls back, his eyes practically glazing over as he stares at the mark he’s left behind. I let out a yelp of surprise as Hayden grabs me by the back of my thighs, lifting me up off the ground. I wrap my legs around his middle, my hands scrambling for purchase on his shoulders. Hayden lets out a giggle, an honest to god giggle, as he strides towards our bedroom. I’m not sure I’ve ever laughed during sex, but giddiness fills my belly.
Hayden tosses me onto the bed and now it’s my turn to giggle as I bounce a few times before settling myself into the middle of the bed. Hayden grips the ends of my jeans, giving a little tug, prompting me to quickly unbutton them so he can pull them off. I shuck my shirt away, leaving myself in nothing but my boxers. My cock leaks precum into my black boxers as I watch Hayden strip, unintentionally giving me the world’s best striptease. God, he’s gorgeous.
I watch with lidded eyes as Hayden crawls onto the bed. He goes to straddle my lap but I pull him forward, making him knee crawl until he’s hovering over my chest. I sit up slightly, finally getting my mouth on that fucking freckle I’ve been dreaming about for years. He lets out a noise of surprise as I lick across the damn thing, his abs trembling under my tongue.
“This fucking freckle has been taunting me for years,” I say between kisses.
Hayden snorts above me, one of his hands coming down to touch my cheek, running his thumb over my beard. I nip at his hip bone, taking in his musky scent. My mouth waters, just thinking about getting his cock into my mouth.
“Can I?” I ask, my fingers playing with his boxers. He nods his head, and I watch as he swallows, the sound clicking audibly. I push his boxers down enough until his erection springs free, slapping his belly. I can’t hold myself back. Pushing forward, I lick from the bottom up to the tip of Hayden’s cock, swirling my tongue around his head to gather up his precum. I moan as the flavor hits my taste buds.
“God,” Hayden breathes out, staring down at me. “Your mouth is something else. I’ve been waking up to wet dreams of your mouth since your rut.” I take him into my mouth as far as I can at this awkward angle. “You’ve gotta stop,” Hayden whispers breathlessly. “This feels amazing but I wanna touch you, need to kiss you, Matty.”
I lay flat as Hayden moves. He quickly loses his boxers before kneeling between my open thighs, helping me out of mine. When he lays back down, our bodies connect. Skin on warm skin, burning desire through me. I lift my hips off the bed, moaning as our cocks slide together.
My hands run over Hayden’s back as he leans down, taking my lips in a heated kiss. His tongue pushes past my lips and the moment it touches mine, my head swims. Hayden’s hips move against my own and we work in tandem, providing each other with pleasure. My cock steadily blurts precum, slicking our frotta
ge.
Hayden pulls back, his nose running over mine, his breath fanning over my face. “Matty,” he whispers, his voice sounding hoarse and desperate despite only just getting started. “Matty. I want--”
“Anything,” I tell him seriously. “Anything you want.”
“I want you.” Then he kisses my lips before asking, “can I fuck you?”
My body tenses below him. But not in fear or nervousness. No, my body tenses and it takes every ounce of willpower not to come right then and there. Fuck. This is all of my fantasies come to life. “Yes. Fuck, yes, Hayden. I want you inside me so bad. I want your knot,” I confess, loving the way Hayden sucks in a sharp breath and his eyes bleed red once more.
Hayden reaches over to his bedside table, pulling out his bottle of synthetic slick. I watch him get his fingers wet before he’s pulling my right leg up into the air, placing it against his left shoulder. I’m so open, so exposed and instead of feeling vulnerable, I only feel sexy and admired. Hayden turns his head, nipping at my knee. I’m so distracted that I startle as his wet finger finds my hole.
Hayden continues to kiss my knee and inner thigh as that finger rubs against my ass, slowly circling the tight bud. The only thing that’s ever touched my ass was my own finger, so to have someone else, to have Hayden touching me there is overwhelming. It feels so good and I can’t stop myself from whining and lifting my hips, silently begging for him to push forward.
Hayden’s face breaks out into a wide smile as he takes in my impatience. Bastard. Finally, fucking finally, he pushes in. “Oh, fuck,” I gasp out as he fills me. Hayden’s fingers are longer than mine, reaching me further than I’ve ever felt before on my own.
Hayden’s eyes are glued to my ass, watching as my rim stretches around his finger. As he pumps in and out of me, I use my ankle to push him down towards me, needing to taste him, needing to feel grounded. He comes willingly, kissing me deeply. The kiss distracts me from the slight burn until I’m pushing my hips to meet his finger, whimpering for more.