by Leah Wilde
Deep inside, she knew that it wasn’t just the playroom that was making her so anxious. They had a much more productive time at the office that day, going through all of Paulie’s old business deals to help Vince get caught up with the current state of affairs. But things had been weird between them. For one thing, she was pretty surprised that Vince never once mentioned the playroom or the contract or anything to do with their new relationship. It knocked her off-balance, making her feel like she didn’t know what to do or say, except that she wasn’t going to break the contract she’d signed the night before. But it was more than that. Vince seemed so tightly-wound, so nervous himself that it was contagious, seeping into her mood and making her feel like she didn’t know where they stood. He’s surprised I know so much about the business, Fiona thought as she reflected back on Vince’s shocked expression whenever she explained the details of a drug deal or an upcoming murder case. And he’s…scared. Scared of me.
She felt a little sick to her stomach just thinking about that. Why should he be scared of her? Fiona’s life was a mess. She couldn’t get a handle on anything, not since her dad’s last heart attack. But maybe that’s exactly why he’s so scared of me, Fiona realized, feeling tiny beads of sweat appear along her hairline as the new knowledge sunk into her brain. I have nothing to lose. I could leave this life behind in an instant, go to the cops, go to the feds, even, and get a nice, new, pretty little life in Witness Protection as payment for betraying the Romanos.
It wasn’t like she’d never considered it before. She wasn’t stupid, after all. But the possibility of retribution by the Romanos kept her from thinking too seriously about it. She didn’t want to be killed, let alone endanger her father. I was so stupid for getting involved in this mess in the first place, Fiona thought, sighing as she leaned back against the wall. Maybe I should just leave. Tonight. Now that Paulie is gone, I have no excuse, no reason to be loyal to them. I should grab my dad and take the money I’ve saved up and just leave the country, where none of the Romanos or the feds or anyone else could get their hands on us.
But despite how convincing that argument sounded in her head, she couldn’t seem to pry herself off the wall and walk away. Vince might have literally been considering killing her, just because of all that she knew, yet she couldn’t make the smart decision and leave. What the fuck is wrong with me? Fiona wondered, holding her head in her hands and swallowing thickly to clear her throat. I’m a smart girl. I’m independent. I’m strong, right? Why can’t I just do the right thing and leave this all behind?
Fiona was torn out of her thoughts by some indistinct noises behind her head, from the other side of the wall. When she focused really hard, she could make out the vague clinking of glass and the heavy footfall of a man, and she felt her heart shoot up into her throat. Vince. She was probably late by now, especially since she’d spent the last five minutes in an existential tailspin. Fuck, if he comes out here and sees me, it’ll look so weird. I should run. I should just run away right now while I still have the chance. But still, she couldn’t force herself to move a single inch. It was like her body was revolting, refusing to follow the commands that her brain was screaming out futilely. Why can’t I fucking move? Why am I not running away? What the hell is wrong with me? Fiona asked herself.
But with her head pressed against the wall, listening to the shuffling noises on the other side, the answer came to her easily. It was Vince. Vince, the man who had every reason to have her killed. Vince, the man who, for all she knew, still believed that she was fucking his father before he died. Vince, the guy she barely knew. She couldn’t leave without fucking him, at least once. She had to see this through or she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life. She had to know if it was possible for her to let someone else take control for once. She had to know if she had the capacity to let go, to feel true release. It was now or never.
“Right,” she murmured to herself, straightening up and wiping the beads of sweat off her forehead. She reached into her purse for a compact mirror, opening it to make sure that she hadn’t sweated off all of her make-up. “I’ll do this once. At least once. Or a few times, and then I’ll run away when the time is right,” she whispered to herself as she shut the compact and shoved it back into her purse. It was time to stop punishing herself. She’d let herself into the playroom, she’d let herself let go, if only to see if she was capable of it. And then she’d worry about the consequences later. For tonight, at the very least, she’d let herself feel alive.
She walked back up to Vince’s door and knocked gently, not wanting to appear too eager, even though she had to be several minutes late at this point. There were a few long moments of silence, during which Fiona scratched furiously at her hands just to give herself something to focus on other than the excruciating wait for Vince to arrive. Then, mercifully, the door swung open, revealing a servant dressed smartly in another dark suit. “Mistress Fiona,” the servant said, smiling warmly at her. “Can I take your coat?”
“Uh, sure,” Fiona said, shrugging out of her jacket and handing it awkwardly to the servant. “Is, um, is Vince…”
“Master Vince is waiting for you already,” the servant said. “You can go to the designated room, if you remember the way.”
She definitely did. Fiona nodded and forced a smile for the servant’s benefit before inhaling deeply to steady herself and heading in the direction of the playroom. Fiona tried to mentally coach herself as she stepped into the hallway behind the dining room area, slowly walking toward the dark room where Vince was waiting for her. I can do this. I can do this. I’m a strong, powerful bitch. I got this. I fucking got this. Oh, God, I’m fucking nervous. My stomach hurts. I’m so goddamned nervous, fuck!
Fiona finally reached the door, putting her hand on the cold handle, but before she turned it, she remembered a crucial detail of the contract. The clothes. She was supposed to be naked in the playroom at all times, with her clothing left outside of it. Jesus, she thought, feeling lightheaded as she pulled her hand away from the door. Once again, she thought of bolting, running as far as she could, to someplace where she wouldn’t have to be brave. Her heart pounded insistently in her temples, making her feel like two giant cymbals were continually being crashed over the sides of her head. But whenever her brain yelled at her legs to try to force them into motion, they stayed still, remaining in place outside of the playroom. Her body wanted this. There was no denying it.
She exhaled deeply, letting all of the air leave her body, before she squared her shoulders and reached for the zipper of her skirt. Fiona looked around in every direction, making sure none of the servants were lurking around to watch her undress, before she yanked the zipper down, stepped out of the skirt, and carefully folded it before placing it against the wall. Next, she unbuttoned her blouse before pulling it off her body, leaving her clad only in her bra and panties. Her whole body prickled with goosebumps, chills riding up and down her spine as she heard something move from inside the playroom. Fuck, he’s waiting for me. This is really happening. This is fucking real, she thought as she wrapped her arms around her body to protect herself against the cold air around her.
“Shit,” she muttered as she felt her heart speed up in her chest, her fingers trembling as she reached behind her body to undo the clasp of her bra. She hesitated for a long moment before letting her bra fall from her chest, her nipples immediately hardening as a result of the chilly air of the penthouse. If I’m going to do this, I might as well go all the way, Fiona thought as she stepped out of her panties, bending over to gather all of her clothes in a neat pile.
Her whole body felt cold and hot all at once, every cell of her skin tingling with hyper-awareness. Fiona licked her lips and swallowed hard to clear her throat as much as possible before reaching down to grab the doorknob again, clenching her fist around it before turning it and giving the door a gentle push.
She stepped inside before she could second-guess herself anymore, pulling her hair down from its
ponytail at the last second, just on impulse. She shook her hair around to let it cascade down around her shoulders as she shut the door behind her. Then, finally, she turned to face the man that was standing by the desk in the center of the room, holding the contract in his hand. He did not look happy.
“You’re late,” Vince said, his voice hard and his expression cold and unreadable. He made no move to cross the room to touch her, and Fiona suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable and exposed. She wrapped her arms around her body again, shielding her bare breasts from his view. “No, don’t do that,” Vince said, his face growing a little lighter, his eyes twinkling with something that Fiona didn’t recognize. “Let me see you.”
Fiona briefly considered turning and running out of the room, away from him, forever. But instead, her arms gave way, doing as she was told, exposing her chest to his penetrating gaze. Fuck, Fiona thought as she saw his eyes roam over her body, his tongue poking out to lick at his lips as he looked right at her cunt. She felt a rush to her head, like all of her blood abandoned the rest of her body all at once. But it didn’t feel bad. It was strange, feeling like she was about to pass out, but the fear from before slowly receded from her body, leaving her with an odd emptiness. But she wasn’t numb. Her whole body prickled with sensations she’d never felt before, but she was calm. Her thoughts had come to a standstill. Jesus, I don’t know if this has ever happened to me ever before, she thought.
“Come over to me,” Vince directed her, and Fiona’s legs moved forward of their own accord, carrying her across the room but stopping a few feet away from Vince, the desk separating their two bodies. “Do you remember your safe word?”
Fiona nodded.
“Answer me out loud,” Vince said, leaning a little over the desk so that their faces were closer together.
“Yes, I do,” Fiona said quickly, feeling a hot flush burn its way up her back and neck. It wasn’t uncomfortable, though. There was something overwhelming, almost ticklish, about obeying him. But it didn’t feel bad. She wasn’t sure if it felt “good,” exactly, but she wanted more of it. She wanted to roll around in that sensation, let it sink into her brain, play around in it until she decided how she really felt about it.
“Tell me the word you’ve chosen,” Vince said.
Fiona felt confused for a moment, seeing as how she’d already written it down on the contract, and Vince must have detected her silent question, as he explained, “I want to make sure that you remember it. And I want to hear the way you say it. I want you to feel comfortable saying it to me.”
“Tangerine,” Fiona said a little hesitantly, feeling insecure and rubbing her upper arms to guard against the chill that suddenly overtook them. “That’s the word.”
“Good girl,” Vince murmured softly, reaching his hand forward to gently grab the tip of Fiona’s chin, holding her face in place and practically forcing her to look him in the eyes. “That’s a good girl.”
“Thank you,” Fiona whispered back, barely audibly. She couldn’t fight the shiver that overcame her body when Vince’s fingers began to dance along the edge of her face, causing all the tiny little hair follicles around her ear and cheek to become erect as a result of the careful attention.
Vince’s hand traveled farther north, eventually wrapping around the back of her head to tug her a little closer. “You can use the safe word at any time,” he whispered, his eyes staring hard and unblinkingly into hers until she finally nodded. “Promise me you’ll use it if you need to. Promise me.”
“I promise,” Fiona said back, her eyes sliding down to stare at Vince’s open mouth. God, how she itched to kiss him, to press into him, to learn the curves and edges and lines of his body. She felt like she’d been hungry for him for years, when she’d only known him mere days. Still, her body needed this. Already, she felt the burdens of the day begin to lift off of her body, leaving her with an uncharacteristic lightness that she hadn’t felt in years, at the very least.
“Good,” Vince replied, rubbing the back of her head, making her scalp tingle with a soothing sensation, like his fingers were taking all of her bad thoughts and flinging them away into the darkness. A second later he added, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to punish you anyway,” his grip on her head intensified, and he clutched some of her hair between his fingers.
Fiona gasped a little, the desperate noise leaving her mouth before she had a chance to stop it. “Why?” she asked. “What did I do?”
“Like I said before,” Vince said, leaning further over the desk until his forehead was pressed against hers, his eyes baring hard into her like he was searching for treasure. “You were late. I can’t set a bad example with you and let you get away with things.”
Fiona gulped and nodded, feeling her spine begin to tingle almost painfully. He wasn’t kidding about the punishment thing, then. All of this was real. All of it was really happening. She wasn’t dreaming, either. She hadn’t fantasized about any of this. It was like Vince had reached inside of her heart, grabbed her deepest darkest urges, and now was pulling them into reality. It was as terrifying as it was exhilarating to experience.
“Still, you were very good, remembering to take your clothes off,” Vince said, scratching gently at her scalp, causing her eyes to slide shut just from sheer pleasure and comfort. “So, I’ll go soft on you, just this once.”
“Thank you, sir,” Fiona murmured. She hadn’t even remembered that he’d commanded her to call him “sir.” She just wanted to call him that, wanted to know what it would feel like letting that word slip through her lips without shame.
“Yeah, you’re a good girl,” Vince said, letting his hand fall to the back of her neck, which he lightly squeezed for a few seconds before traveling down her back. His fingers traced over her spine, making her squirm a little under the ticklish feeling of his touch. “But you can be bad, too, can’t you? You’ve got it all.”
Fiona wasn’t sure how to answer that, so she just looked up into his eyes, relieved to see how warm and happy he looked, how full of light he seemed. It was like there was some switch inside of his brain that only got flipped on when he was in the playroom. In the office, he was uncertain and insecure, even if he did a good job hiding it from everyone but Fiona. But here, he looked light and free. More than that, he looked powerful, totally comfortable in his body, totally secure that he was saying and doing the right thing. It was so fucking hot, seeing him in his element. Fiona felt a rush of warmth pool in between her legs, right at the base of her cunt. What the hell? Fiona wondered to herself, swallowing again just to keep herself calm and to fight back the pounding of her heartbeat in her throat. He hasn’t even done anything to me yet. Why am I so turned on?
“You’re special,” Vince said, smirking at her, his eyes gleaming with mischief like he knew exactly what she was feeling and thinking. “I knew it from the first moment I saw you. You’re so strong, but you’re willing to submit, aren’t you? That’s the only kind of power that’s real, the kind you’re willing to let go of. If you don’t trust that it’s going to come back to you later, how do you know it’s really yours?”
Fiona had never really thought of it that way. She’d always assumed that strength was like armor. You either had it or you didn’t, and when you weren’t wearing it, there was nothing to protect you from being hurt. But based on the way Vince was describing it, the only way to ever really be strong was to allow yourself to be weak. She felt a little warm and hazy, like the new knowledge he’d imparted to her had overwhelmed all of her remaining senses.
“You’re very smart, sir,” Fiona said honestly. She wasn’t trying to butter him up or get out of being punished or anything. She just legitimately wanted him to know that’s what she thought.
But still, Vince scoffed a little and shook his head. “Not like you. You’ve got big brains. I’ve got big…other things,” he said with a grin.
Fiona couldn’t help it. It was too ridiculous, hearing a man brag about his penis even while he already had a woman s
tanding naked in front of him. She had to laugh at him, falling out of his grasp to clap her hand over her mouth to stop the noises from coming. “Sorry, sorry, you’re just really funny,” she said in between giggles. Luckily, Vince didn’t look offended by her reaction, continuing to grin broadly at her as she tried to calm herself down.
He waited until she stopped laughing to speak again. “How would you like to be punished?” he asked, his grin falling off his face, replaced by a stern, serious look that sent more chills cascading down her spine.
“Um, I don’t really know,” Fiona admitted. She’d kept herself from doing a ton of research on Dom/Sub relationships online, even though a part of her really wanted to. She was afraid of finding horror stories that would keep her from showing up tonight, and she really wanted to give this a chance, at least once, before dismissing it forever. “What are the choices?”