The Mayor of Noobtown

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by Ryan Rimmel


  Kappa: Warg: Level 5

  Health 80

  Stamina 100

  Mana 10

  Wargs are the trained hunting mounts of goblins. They are magically enhanced wolf pups that are given a special alchemical diet that causes them to grow larger and tougher than the usual breed. The diet also reinforces them, allowing them to be ridden by small humanoids. Actual abilities vary depending on the breed. This one is based on a Valley Wolf and is unusually intelligent.

  Hmmm, well that’s interesting.

  I briefly remembered that you could harness a dog for pulling things and wondered if this guy was big enough to pull a plow. Figuring that I could take him, I stood up obviously, causing him to whip around.

  “Who’s a good boy?” I asked, as his fur shot up and he began to growl. I knew it was just his fur expanding, but man, did that make him look bigger.

  Neither of us backed down. He kept growling and I kept calling him a good boy. He took a step towards me, I took a step towards him. This made him pause. He probably assumed I’d back away and run or something, but I didn’t. That ruined his plan.

  “Kappa’s a good boy,” I kept saying, and to my surprise, he responded.

  “How do you know that?” he asked, in a growly sort of way. My eyebrows shot up and his ears flatted more. It was not a good look.

  “I can tell your name is Kappa,” I said and the Warg snorted.

  “All call me Kappa,” he replied. His speech was a combination of growls and ear movements, of all things.

  “Well, okay Kappa, I don’t want to fight you,” I stated.

  “You killed my rider,” he responded. His fur sat back down, but he didn’t sit or make any more movements in any direction.

  “Yes,” I replied, choosing my words carefully, “but he was stupid and let me get close to him, knowing that I was his enemy.”

  Kappa snorted, “He was always a fool. Quick to strike, quick to anger.”

  “Are we enemies?” I asked, “I don’t think we need to be.”

  The Warg looked at me for a long moment. I put my dagger back into its sheath, and then he sat back on his haunches, “I suppose not.”

  “Okay then,” I said, adopting a pose of ease while still being ready to move at a moment’s notice. The Warg could likewise leap the 15 feet between us in the blink of an eye. So, while we’d agreed not to kill each other, there wasn’t much trust there, yet.

  “I did not see that this was your territory,” stated the Warg, cautiously.

  “In the human fashion it is, but I have no need of it at the moment,” I replied.

  “Well then, I shall hunt here. Are there any buildings beyond the circle of fire?” he asked.

  “A few, but they seem to be in poor condition,” I replied, “Would you like to live in a building?”

  The Warg paused for a moment before scratching behind his ears, “Yes. Once one has gotten used to a roof, it is hard to go without.”

  “Well, if you could be of use, then I could let you live in the town,” I offered.

  “The circle of fire will burn me,” he replied, his ears going flat again.

  “The fire burns whom I tell it to burn,” I gravely stated.

  Kappa watched me for a long moment, before another fit of scratching got him. “If I can go through the ring of fire without being harmed, I may choose to help.”

  “Before you do, tell me something. Why didn’t you go back to the other goblins?” I asked.

  Kappa snorted, “Would you? The calling has never been strong for me.”

  “Calling?”

  The Warg sat on his haunches for a moment, thinking. He scratched his ear some more before responding. “One of the goblins was able to call to me, to all Wargs. I alone learned how to ignore his screeching. My rider was using magics to make me more docile. Without his magics, I was able to decide not to return to them. They have fleas.”

  With that, the Warg shook himself mightily, as if casting off something foul. He stood perfectly still for another moment and then nodded. “Shall we go?”

  I agreed and the two of us walked through the tall grass together. Wolf speech wasn’t like human speech. If I wasn’t looking at him, I couldn’t really understand him. The yaps and barks were somewhat useful, but they really didn’t communicate any deeper meanings.

  Of course, after this one short exchange, I spoke wolf now. That would have seemed so odd just a few short days ago. Fortunately, there was a prompt that I promptly selected.

  You have learned about the Language of Wolves. You are proficient due to your Lore skill. It was a Ruff day.

  The Lore skill allowed me to talk to animals. Fascinating. That was another very useful sidebar to my abilities. Of course, Kappa was quite intelligent. I’d have to interrogate another animal to see if they were all this useful. The thought of interrogating a squirrel for his nuts was flickering through the back of my mind as I walked through the barrier.

  Kappa stopped just outside of it, having been carefully watching for it. I brought up the menu and found the controls of the barrier. It was set to automatically block all creatures of darkness and any monsters. Looking at Kappa on the interface, he showed the bright red of a targeted creature. I mentally clicked on him and he changed to green.

  Green meant neutral, not resident. If a resident attacked someone in the village, then the barrier wouldn’t do anything. If a neutral attacked, the interface would switch and the barrier would target them. As they would already be in the town, this would not end well for them.

  “You are free to access the town,” I stated. Kappa simply stood there for a moment before dropping to his haunches. After a moment I asked, “Problem?”

  “No, I am just reviewing my prompt,” he stated. As he sat there, I saw his facial expressions change. To one who could understand wolf speech, he was basically sounding out the entire process to himself. He didn’t seem to have menu time; he had to do his menus in real time.

  I wondered if AvaSophia had menu time or if it was just me.

  “I will not attack anyone while I am in the village,” he stated, “but if someone attacks me, then the barrier will not activate?”

  “Not if they are a resident,” I answered truthfully. “and the barrier will only attack you if you attack someone else. You should be able to get away from a farm wife and her children should they turn on you.”

  He flattened his ears, “I am not wicked. I will not attack a child.”

  “Good, we understand each other,” I grinned, “and be warned, they will probably want rides.”

  “Children do not always get what they want,” he stated coolly.

  “They live under a roof with a warm hearth,” I replied, as we started heading into the village.

  Kappa walked a few paces before his head drooped, “One also gets used to a hearth. One can put up with much for a warm place to sleep.”

  AvaSophia was less than pleased by the huge wolf. However, when I showed that he could be attached to an improvised harness, she relented enough for me to plow her fields for the next hour. Eventually, she became annoyed with my inept plowing and took over. She spent the remainder of the day at it while I tended to other things.

  When I returned in the evening, the two had reached an accord. He got access to the rug in front of the fireplace and a hot meal once per day. In return, Kappa had agreed to help her with the plowing and to do some hunting. Well, Kappa told me that’s what they’d agreed to. AvaSophia was mainly of the opinion that the big dog was mostly harmless and seemed useful, seeing as how Kappa behaved himself the entire time. I was actually surprised it went that well, but Kappa was an intelligent creature making the best of his circumstances. He was willing to play ball for a price.

  I was about to speak, when suddenly a massive prompt filled my vision.

  You have completed the quest: A Draft Animal for The Creek House. You earn 500 experience points and your village gains additional resources.

  Blinking several times
, I realized that I had left the quests set to notify me. I dialed that back down to an alert and noticed I had a skill prompt.

  You have learned about Negotiation, you are unskilled. You possess a silver tongue.

  You have learned about Farming, you are unskilled. All things in life come from the dirt.

  Also, I saw that I’d leveled up in Rogue again.

  Level UP, Rogue 3

  You have gained one Perk. Please select it from the Rogue menu.

  Your Hit point Total is increased by 10. Your Stamina is increased by 10

  I’d leveled up in rogue due to the quest reward. Looking at my remaining classes, they were all moving closer to the next level, as well. I couldn’t tell if any of the magical classes were advancing, but I suspected not. Rogue had taken longer to level because I wasn’t doing as many rogue things in the field. Checking my log, I’d gotten most of my Rogue experience from cleaning out the forge’s secret room, and a lesser amount from looting the houses.

  You got experience in combat for fighting like your class, which is why I was highest in Warrior. Virtually any action performed in combat earned experience for the Warrior class. Woodsman gained experience from Dual Wielding as well as fighting with daggers or a bow. Actually, Woodsman gained experience from a much larger variety of weapons than just daggers, but daggers is what got Rogue experience.

  The Rogue class got me some experience from Dodging, but it was slight. I hadn’t been that effective with using my daggers in the last several battles. While my longbow could use my sneak attack, the longbow itself wasn’t classified as a Rogue weapon. Using it actually got my Woodsman and Warrior to level faster, as they calculated experience primarily as damage dealt, with a bonus for kills or defeating an enemy.

  When I’d defeated Shart, who was still currently unaccounted for, I’d done so by knocking him into a tree. The actual blow hadn’t done much damage, but his horns had gotten stuck, rendering him unable to escape due to his stubby arms. That somehow counted as a win, and so he was defeated. I suspected that if I trapped a creature in a like manner, it would count in the same vein.

  In any case, the challenge of earning experience for my Rogue class was making me reassess my perks. There were several attached to Dodging, making it more efficient or allowing me to wear heavier armor. I could dodge while wearing light armor without any serious issues; that was just more ability to wear armor while Dodging. In so far as I could tell, Mobility didn’t make Dodging better at avoiding attacks, but it did allow you to far better position yourself afterwards.

  I’d tested; I could jump up to shoulder height easily in a conventional jump. This did seem to increase the number of SP I got for the Jumping skill slightly. Slam dunks would have been trivial. I could box jump well over 6 feet into the air, a world record back on Earth. The extra Mobility wasn’t earning experience points, so I looked elsewhere.

  There were no perks I had access to that allowed me to use more weapons, which would have been helpful. Even switching up to short swords would have vastly improved my experience point potential. There were Poison skills, but those required Herb Lore to acquire; I didn’t have that skill yet. Furthermore, that meant a lead off time where I’d have to get the skill, learn Alchemy or the equivalent, and then start applying poisons to my blades. There was a chance that taking the perk would grant me those skills, but I was betting they just added something to your weapons base damage, which would be a slow path to advancement.

  Then I noticed Shadow Walker. It increased your Stealth ability by making you blend into the shadows better. As a passive effect, it also made your enemies have a more difficult time analyzing you through Lore. When I looked at a creature I had a Lore skill in, I gathered quite a bit of information: hit points, mana, and Stamina, down to the exact number. If I didn’t have the Lore skill for a particular creature, I could see bars; until I actually attacked them, I didn’t’ know how deeply those bars went. That effect also occurred if they were a higher level than me.

  I knew my amulet made it somewhat harder to detect my information with Lore, but possessing an even greater ability to hide seemed useful. I had gotten some Stealth experience, but I’d also been ambushed by those goblins. Maybe being more difficult to find would prevent another such attack. I selected it.

  In my vision, I always had an icon representing if I’d been seen or not. It was a little eye that watched me differently, depending on if I’d been seen and if the person looking at me was hostile or neutral. If it was glaring at me angrily, I’d been spotted. It also changed if I was stealthing, with the eye being completely closed or opened in stages, depending on who saw me or thought they saw me.

  After taking Shadow Walker, the eye icon changed more. When I first attempted Stealth it appeared the same as normal. However, when I’d snuck into the shadows, the icon changed into a shadow of itself. I glanced at my arm and discovered, to my delight, that I was much harder to see. I blended into the background somewhat, almost like camouflage. While the icon showed someone could still see me, that had suddenly gotten much harder.

  Armed with my new Perk, I waited until darkness fell and went to get more skins.

  One of the first things I confirmed as I searched for some prey was that Goblins did far more hunting during the night. I’d had to avoid several hunting parties in the North Woods before I’d finally gotten my first opportunity to even attempt hunting.

  However, before I could even take aim, several goblins ran towards my hiding spot. They didn’t notice me, but their running scared the deer I was stalking. The small buck turned around and ran the other direction, straight into another group of goblins, some distance away.

  The deer didn’t have a chance. Afterwards, while the hunters started to tend to the corpse, the beaters began searching quietly for new prey. Their process was mechanical. They’d find one, whistle, and then rush it towards the hunters who would fill it full of arrows.

  Ardently watching my Stealth icon, I was relieved to see that it never flickered once. They were not looking for me, so avoiding them was easy. As I watched through the night, something occurred to me. I didn’t need to hunt; I just needed to get skins and maybe some meat. By the end of the night, and with much effort, the six goblins had collected 3 deer corpses and a string of rabbits. They were smaller deer, but still probably represented around 300 pounds of meat.

  Their path took them exceedingly close to the village. All I had to do was set myself up and wait. Instead of hiding in a tree, I just picked a bush and waited in its shadow for them to take a forest path. They were walking down the narrow path in a conga line of goblins, three pairs each carrying the carcass of a deer between them. They were talking and joking about how easy the night had been.

  Time to change that.

  I stepped out behind the six, driving a dagger into the last one’s back. He didn’t even make a noise; he just died. The goblin in front of him yelped, not out of any concern, but because his friend wasn’t supporting his share of the weight anymore. I had the dead goblin’s partner before he realized there was an issue.

  At this point, the four remaining goblins realized something was wrong. Their conversation stopped and a couple turned around, not yet willing to drop their cargo. That’s how I got the third one. He had just begun to turn to face me, but I was already in position. I fatally introduced my dagger into his kidney. The remaining three drew their weapons, a bow and two truncheons, and started to position themselves.

  The closest goblin swung his weapon with all his might; I blocked his little club with one knife, while I gutted him with another. The second goblin rushed up behind me and I threw his dead companion at him, mostly because he’d become stuck on my knife. The final goblin shot me in the chest with an arrow.

  I’d sensed the arrow, but it didn’t give me the same sensation as other attacks. It existed, but there was no danger to it and I hadn’t recognized what it was. The arrow simply struck me in the chest before bouncing off. I glanced at my comb
at log; it had only done 4 points of base damage, which my defenses reduced first to zero. I tilted my head, staring at the final goblin as his friend madly scrambled to get free of the body I’d flung.

  As the goblin continued to fire shot after shot at me, each bouncing off in turn, I began gathering up the deer carcasses. Throwing one over my shoulders like a bloody meat scarf, and dragging the other two behind me, I started back towards the village. The goblin eventually ran out of arrows and ran to his friend, freeing him. That one just ran as soon as he could and the other goblin screamed at me while I walked to the village.

  Turning around with the town’s glowing blue barrier as a backdrop, the wind blowing fantastically through my hair like a boss, I responded, “Tell your friends, Jim patrols this forest.”

  “What? I can’t tell them that. That’s stupid,” the goblin replied. “How can we face the others and tell them we got our asses kicked by something named ‘Jim’?”

  I brought the animals to AvaSophia, who stared in amazement. I was honestly concerned that this was too much meat and some would spoil before she came up with what to do with it. The village was short of many supplies that I theorized would be needed to … craft smoked meat. In the meantime, I got to skinning them and took the hides to the leatherworking shop.

  I still suspected it would take longer to cure a hide, despite my previous experience and suspicions regarding time here; once again, I was done in minutes. My Skinning skill was at Amateur rank, so I didn’t have a failure chance anymore. That made the process simple enough. Unfortunately, upon review, it was going to take forever to get the skill to the next rank. I even had one Novice level success while skinning, which gave me more leather to work with.

  My next stop was the leatherworking shop. I began adjusting the basic tools there and trying to figure out what to do. Standing directly in the center of the workroom was a large bench, where l placed most of my tools. When I focused on it, a prompt flashed before my eyes.

 

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