It kicked me out of my panic. “I’m fine.”
“I’m going to destroy Mandelbaum.” Dark wraiths slithered behind his eyes.
“We’ll share the honor. But I don’t want him in our bed.”
Ro’s expression contorted in exaggerated horror. “Yeah, hard pass.”
“God, I love you. I…” My hand brushed his heart and that gorgeous, amazing tattoo in a lingering touch.
For the first time ever, I wished I’d stuck with my English degree. Maybe then I’d have had the words to explain the peculiar tightness in my chest, like I’d been running through darkened woods and only just burst out into the light. I used the “I love you” as a talisman, hoping he understood the enormity of it, because I was overwhelmed by an inadequate, paltry silence.
Rohan’s hand cupped the back of my head, his thumb caressing the nape of my neck. He rested his forehead against mine and his slow smile built to blinding proportions. “You’re home to me. My heart is yours.”
I kissed him, strung out on exhilaration. Our tongues tangled, frenzied I-love-yous whispered between breaths.
His fingers bit into my biceps as his mouth slanted hungrily over mine. All the darkness that I’d been holding at bay through sheer force of will spilled out, met shadow for shadow by Rohan.
The kiss turned wild, almost vicious. Rohan growled and bit my lip.
I raked my nails down his back.
His control snapped and he bucked madly underneath me. He was lost to incoherent murmurings, a light sheen of sweat covering his chest.
I ran my hands over his body, learning the planes and contours of his new leaner form. White-hot desire sparked and caught, rolling through me like wildfire.
Our eyes were locked in a silent dare, each of us needing the other to keep pushing so that we could fall, shatter, and be rebuilt together.
Rohan caught my mouth as I came, shuddering, quickly followed by his own hoarse grunt.
I was loved and I was home. It was the first time I felt safe since Mandelbaum had kidnapped me. I relaxed in his arms, relishing this slow, dreamy time together, and letting each breath fill me with contentment.
Rohan ran his hand up and down my spine in long rhythmic strokes. “Why’d you freeze?”
“Way to kill my afterglow.” I snuggled into him. “Fine.”
He took the details of my torture and imprisonment quite well. His mattress would have to be replaced from the gouge he’d sliced in it, and Mandelbaum would do well to watch his back.
“My life still isn’t mine.” I rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. “Satan wants to breed me because he thinks I’m Lilith. Even Malik did. Will the witches? Am I going to be ostracized from the community that I’ve only begun to be accepted by? And what about the Rasha? Everything with the hunters feels so conditional. I’m still being judged on a case-by-case basis.”
It was too unfair to contemplate. I rubbed the base of my neck. “I feel this shadow sitting like an itch between my shoulders. It’s not actually Lilith, it’s an echo of her, but my skin doesn’t fit properly because of it. Do you know how crazy-making that is? It’s worse than constantly catching sight of someone out of the corner of my eye because it’s inside me. I fought Lilith, she’s gone and that should mean that I won, but I still feel like I lost.”
“Sparky, you’re smart and strong and beautiful and mouthy with an enormous heart and a fierce loyalty to those you love. Most of all, you’re a fighter. And you will fight this. You’re also not in this alone.”
His words were great, but finally hearing my nickname was the best. My happiness burst free in a shy, stupid grin.
Rohan propped his arm under his head. “You know why I named my album Ascending?”
“It’s the meaning of your name.”
He laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement. “Was that part of your initial Google profile on me, fangirl?”
“Let’s be clear, Mr. Mitra, that I was never your fangirl.” I pressed my hands to my heart and fluttered my eyelashes. “Zack, on the other hand…”
Ro snorted.
“Leonie was the one with the chart on you. I reluctantly absorbed the info through her endless repetition. Rest assured that in case of emergency, I can provide your blood type and notify the medical professionals that you once suffered an allergic reaction from a bee sting behind your right knee.”
He booped the end of my nose. “Okay, smarty pants, it’s what my name means but also it’s because the seven chakras are stacked in ascending order with the crown chakra at the top of the ladder. It’s an ascending journey leading to consciousness and ecstasy and gratitude for life. You gave me back that gratitude.” His expression turned somber. “When I saw you holding your ground against Malik, I was so fucking relieved that I could journey through my life with you, that I knew I’d wake up every day in thanks.”
“Me too.”
“Duh.” He rolled onto his side. “I’m a catch.”
I gagged and Ro grinned at me.
“Even when I thought you were dead, I swore to try and still live that way.” His mouth twisted in a wry smile. “Barring dark magic outbursts.”
“I hear that mutual interests, compatible senses of humor, and similar degrees of being deeply broken really keep a relationship going.”
“See?” He spread his hands wide. “We’re good for the next hundred years, and even if we are broken? Together we can be whole. Together we can be enough.”
I shivered at the promise in his voice, mentally crossing my fingers that we could do that without our respective damage tearing each other apart.
“Here’s the plan,” he said. “We find our friends, take down Mandelbaum, stop Sienna, kill Satan, kill Malik, and get a single fucking weekend to be in love and happy without the universe trying to kill us.”
“That’s a tall order, buddy.”
Rohan grasped my hands. “I came back because I want everything with you. You willing to go for it?”
The Nava who’d bought that pink outfit wanted nothing more than to love and play with Rohan. I was no longer her.
Happily-ever-after was an easy phrase to throw around and it came with a lot of vague, fluffy ideas. What did it mean to me now? I wasn’t sure. If you added up the actual hours that Rohan and I had been a couple, it wasn’t much. The time we’d been in each other’s presence since we’d declared our love was barely anything at all.
I interlaced my fingers with his. “I’m in. But not a single weekend. Our entire fucking lives to be in love. Right after we overthrow narcissistic, power-hungry rabbis, powerful witches, and the Dread Pirate Roberts of the demon realm.”
“Then it’s settled,” he said. “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, then bliss.”
Sounded like a pretty good plan.
5
Fire engulfed me. I held my arm out, because as weird as this was, I was fascinated by how the skin charred and bubbled, leaving only a Nava-shaped flame of vengeance. There was a freedom in burning.
It’s my legacy.
The words were accompanied by a deep sorrow and a tickle of fear that I’d miss something important if I let myself be consumed. But now that the fire had been brought to life, I didn’t know how to stop it. The world grew darker and darker, acrid smoke streaking the sky.
Parts of me dropped away in ashy heaps that swirled around my ankles like a river. I burned bright and brilliant, old as the stars.
I woke from my dream with a start and a headache, tangled in the covers, certain I tasted ash on my lips.
Drio loomed over me.
I shrieked and yanked my pillow in front of myself. “What the hell!”
“Like you have anything I’m interested in.”
Morning light filtered in through the curtains. “Damn, we fell asleep.”
Rohan cracked a bleary eye open. “Did the gunmen arrive?”
Drio jabbed his index finger at me. “Your friend is gone.”
“Which one?” I sai
d. “There are so many of them missing right now that you’ll have to be more specific.”
“The PD.”
“Nope. Can you be clearer?”
“Leonie,” he said through gritted teeth. Leo would be fine. She could handle herself and I knew she’d be careful.
Still, I couldn’t just let Mr. Überdick out of this one so easily. It was a matter of honor.
“Oh good.” I slow-clapped him. “You do know her name. I wasn’t sure you remembered what you’d been yelling all those times you were fucking her.”
“He was generally at a loss for words.” Leo stood in the doorway holding a large brown bag with a bagel shop logo on it and a cardboard tray of take-out cups.
“Aaannd she’s back. Drio was worried.” I reached down onto the floor and grabbed my pink tunic, sliding it on while hanging off the bed with the pillow still protecting my modesty. I was multitalented that way.
“Sì. Worried I’d have to waste time looking for her.”
Leo white-knuckled the bag. “Gee, I hadn’t realized you wanted me to stick close.”
“Anyone grabs you because they know you matter to this one?” He jerked a thumb at me.
“You lose the privilege of killing me,” Leo said. “I heard you the first thirty times.”
“Too bad you didn’t actually listen.”
“Yum. Breakfast. Thanks, Leo.” Rohan slid from the bed, taking the blanket and wrapping it around himself in one smooth motion, before swatting Drio across the top of his head. He went into the bathroom and shut the door.
Sitting up, I yawned and rummaged in my purse, pulling the “Fuck Cancer” bracelet out.
“You are not allowed to have a terminal illness,” Leo said. “Because I love you, but you’ve already died once this month and I legit do not think I could handle that again.”
“Jeez, you dork, I don’t have cancer.” I twirled the bracelet around my index finger. “But I do have the means to contact Sienna.”
Leo glared at me in the way that she thought made her look scary but made me want to smush her cheeks because she was so adorable. “No.”
“I need to speak to her.”
“Be taken prisoner by her,” Leo said.
“The last time she saw me, I was dead. Now I’m back and I’m a giant unknown. How much power do I have? How far will I go to find her and get my brother and friends back?” I gave Leo a grim smile. “I look forward to showing her.”
Drio nodded. “Contact her.”
“Because you don’t care if Nava lives or dies,” Leo said.
“I care. She dies, I lose Ro for good. But you need to let her do her job.”
“What do I know? I’m just a stupid PD.”
Idiot, I mouthed at Drio, who shrugged and left.
It was a lot easier to magically ping Sienna this time than it had been the first time I tried. I didn’t even need help to boost the magic signal. If she didn’t call back, I’d find another, more intrusive way to contact her. Like a magic punch to the head.
I patted the bed, the sheet pooling at my hips.
Leo crawled on next to me, leaned back against the pillows, and handed me a cup.
The gods’ ambrosia had nothing on this mocha latte. I moaned.
“I haven’t had coffee in forever. You ever need a kidney, it’s yours. I’d give you my firstborn but it’s promised to Raquel for healing Ro.” I selected a sesame seed bagel and sucked down more of my latte. I owed it to my health to test that this headache didn’t stem from caffeine withdrawal.
“Fair.” Leo selected a poppy seed bagel from the bag between us. “Hey, can I kill Malik? I still owe him for his kidnapping stunt.”
“I call dibs.” A cloud of steam preceded Rohan from the bathroom. His hair was damp, a towel wrapped snugly around his hips. He looked askance at us. “You’re getting crumbs in my bed.”
Leo and I shrugged, our mouths full.
I swallowed and patted the other side of the bed. “Live dangerously.”
Ro twitched.
“He’s cute when he short-circuits,” Leo said. “Is he always so anal?”
I snickered.
Rohan crossed his arms, which only accentuated his sculpted chest.
“Breakfast and a show,” Leo said, helping herself to another bagel. “Keep going. Maybe lose the towel.”
“What did we say about Ro being verboten as your masturbatory material?” I slugged back the rest of my latte.
Leo leered at Ro. “Damn. Is that still a thing?”
“I am more than my hot body.” He grabbed a T-shirt out of his dresser and shrugged it on, then snagged a pair of jeans and boxers and returned to the bathroom.
“Not by much,” Leo called out gaily.
“How were things last night?” I said.
“Peachy. We spent the night in separate rooms at all times.”
The two of us got through our lattes and another couple of bagels talking about blessedly normal things like Leo’s upcoming semester at Simon Fraser University and how her friend Madison was doing, before Rohan emerged, fully dressed. He squished onto my other side and plucked one of the remaining coffees from the tray.
Leo took it away from him and gave him the other one. “This one’s black.”
“I told you she had a flowchart,” I said, off of Rohan’s look of surprise. I handed him a plain bagel, but he refused it, taking one of those gross all-dressed ones.
“I’m living dangerously,” he said.
Drio clanged around in the kitchen.
“I think he’s trying to make himself coffee.” I nudged Leo with my elbow. “Can we invite the sad puppy in?”
“Go nuts.” She tried to leave, but I clamped down on her thigh and called Drio.
He warily poked his head into the room, then shot us a contemptuous smile. “How cozy.”
I held out the remaining coffee to the giant jerk. “Caffeine. Plus, there are really good bagels. Jew-made ones, not the white-bread travesties you goyim think are bagels.”
Drio didn’t move.
“Take a damn bagel, Drio.” Rohan sipped his coffee. “You’re gonna need your energy going after Hybris.”
“Fuck that.”
“You need to be the one to kill her. I’ll help, but Nava gets first priority on my time until Satan’s dead and all this shit we’re dealing with is sorted.” Rohan ran his thumb around the edge of the lid. “No, that’s not all of it. I’m too much of a liability to lead this.”
I threaded his arm through mine and pressed it to my side.
“It’s great you trust me to do the job, but—”
“Fucking hell.” Leo beaned Drio with a plain bagel.
“Cazzo! Stop hitting me.” He ground the bagel under his boot.
Rohan let out a pained moan at the mess.
“Then get your head out of your ass. You only fight when it’s easy.” Leo hopped off the bed and got all up in his space. “This demon killed the woman you loved. You don’t want to avenge her?”
Drio pushed her back about a foot. “It’s none of your business.”
Rohan opened his mouth, but I stuffed a piece of bagel in it.
“No, it’s not my business,” Leo said. “You made damn sure of that.”
“I wasn’t the lying spawn,” he said. Damn, Drio. It was nice knowing you.
“I’ve spent my entire life hiding who I am from everyone,” she said. “What gave you the right to be told upfront? And also, you’re a shitty, shitty hunter if you didn’t put it together.” She balled up the empty bagel bag. “Congratulations, you were born human. Well, I choose my humanity. It’s a privilege and a fight every single day for me to hold onto it. I used to think you valued that kind of struggle, but you don’t even understand it. You won’t even fight for the woman you love.”
Ro leaned over to murmur in my ear. “Is she talking about Asha or—”
I elbowed him. “Since Rohan and I so inconsiderately fell asleep last night, perhaps you two could update us on
any intel we’ve missed. Starting with, what day is it?”
Leo wrestled her anger under control. “It’s Thursday, August 17.”
My team had stormed the compound about a week ago. “At least I didn’t lose months.”
“You lost enough,” she said.
When Drio hadn’t heard from Rohan about meeting up, he’d reached out to Leonie to see if she could track him through her private investigator network.
“He didn’t even say ‘hello.’” Leo swiped some crumbs off the bed into the crumpled bagel bag. “Or take two seconds to think about the best way to tell me that Sienna’s crew had overthrown the Brotherhood and my friends were missing, so that I wouldn’t have a heart attack.”
“There was no best way.” Drio drank the coffee he’d finally accepted from me. “I was locked out of the Brotherhood database and all my resources and I had no way of knowing Ro’s last location. I couldn’t find Ms. Clara or Helen or anyone else to help me.”
Leo blew him a kiss. “Delighted to be your last resort.”
Drio leaned against Ro’s dresser, his shirt riding up his stomach. “I could just kill you.”
My fingers dug into Ro’s thigh. I swear, was normal flirting this annoying? Surely Snowflake and I weren’t this much of a pain to listen to.
“And deprive yourself the pleasure of lording my impending death over me on a regular basis? I think not,” Leo said.
“Fucking hell, focus on the mission,” Ro said.
“Does anyone even know if Ms. Clara is okay?” It hadn’t even occurred to me that she could be a target. I drummed my fingers nervously on the covers. “Did Sienna imprison the admins with the rabbis?”
“We think some of the staff from Jerusalem HQ was locked up,” Drio said. “Everyone else was told to leave their chapters, but they weren’t harmed. I suspect Ms. Clara is in hiding.”
Ro swirled the last of his coffee around, looking pensively into his cup. “The Jerusalem people must have been involved with Mandelbaum’s plans.”
Sienna didn’t hurt innocents, but she’d imprisoned a lot of people I cared about.
I crawled over Rohan and pushed the curtains aside, opening the window wide and letting the wind sting my face.
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