Yes, yes! You’re a great dog but you make a really doofy boy. And now I’ve stood up to Debbie and Skye, I want to go to school. Quick! Let’s swap back!
Barney stares at me, mystified by my wild barking. Then his eyes light up. ‘Hey,’ he says, ‘I know a way I can understand you. I’ll ask a question, and if you want to answer no, bark once. For yes, bark more times.’
I wag my tail to show I agree. How come I never thought of this? Barney’s pretty smart after all.
‘So, here’s my question. Do you want to swap our brains back?’
YES, YES, YES, YES!
‘Woah,’ Barney grins, ‘I guess you really want to. Stop barking or you’ll get a sore throat. We’ll go straight to the computer after school.’
Barney is the best dog ever. As soon as I can speak English again I’m gonna nag Mum and Dad like anything to get a puppy to keep him company. I can’t tell him that now. Instead, I leap on him and give him a big, sloppy lick.
‘Jake,’ Barney says, pushing me away and laughing, ‘your kisses are gross.’
Epilogue
Two months later …
I rush over to the bush in the corner of our front yard and sniff behind it thoroughly. No, not here. Dashing over to the tree that Dad loves so much, I crane my neck so I can see to the very top. Nothing up there but leaves.
Where is she? Maybe in the box Jake left out here to play with. I nose it around till it tips over. Empty. I trot up the front steps and give the welcome mat a shake, even though I know she’s not small enough to fit under it. But hey, there is something here. Yeah! It’s one of the treats Jake hides for me every morning before he goes to school. He told me it’s a pig’s ear. I don’t know what a pig is, but its dried-up ear is yummy. It’s extremely chewy so it takes me ages to eat it.
I’m settling down on the mat for a good long munch when a blur of white appears on top of the fence, hurls to the ground, leaps up the steps and lands on my tail.
That’s cheating! You’re supposed to hide inside the yard. She thinks my barking is funny. She skitters around to my face and bats at my snout with her furry little paw.
Ouch. You could put your claws in before you attack me.
Yes, they got me a kitten. The very same night that Jake and me swapped our brains back, he asked our parents to get a puppy to keep me company. Mum answered quite loudly, ‘Are you kidding? No way am I house-training another rambunctious mutt.’ And Dad said, ‘We have to nag you like crazy to look after one dog.’
But Jake proved he had turned into a much better owner after his day of being me, and then he came up with the idea of a cat.
I couldn’t believe it. A cat?! I’d come across quite a few on our walks, and whenever I ran up to one they’d run away, or else just sit there and act snooty, refusing to play.
But that must have been because they didn’t grow up knowing me. Now we have Rosie, and she loves to play. She’s the best at Hide-and-Seek. But sometimes I can beat her at Chasey … like now!
I jump up and yip at her. She takes off and I chase after her, round and round the yard. She’s only young so even though she seems to have springs in her legs, she gets tired before I do. I’m closing in. She heads for the tree, but before she has a chance to start climbing I grab her in my mouth and give her a little shake. She knows I won’t really bite her but she yowls anyway. I drop her.
I’m tired after all that running so I go back up the steps and lay on the mat. Rosie follows and when I’ve got settled on my side, she snuggles up to me. Her eyes close and she’s all warm and soft, leaning against my stomach. I can feel her purring.
We’re both drifting off to sleep when the front gate bursts open. I don’t want to disturb Rosie but I can’t help it. I have to tear down the steps and wag my tail wildly. Jake! I plant my paws on the chest of my favorite human. You’re home already. That was quick!
‘Down, Barney!’ Jake commands. But he’s smiling. ‘Come on,’ he says, ‘let’s get a snack.’
Great idea, Jake! We bound up the steps. Jake leans down and scoops up Rosie, then he unlocks the front door and we head for the kitchen together. Barbeque chips, here we come!
A Message to Our Readers
by Katherine
Why did we decide to write from a dog’s point of view? Well, I’ve always enjoyed imagining how life would be if I had a different brain. As for Mum, she grew up on a farm in the United States. The animal she loved best was a wiener dog. In fact, she loved her so much that when I came along, she named me after her! (My nickname is Katie.)
When I wrote my first book with Mum, I was the age that you guys are now. We did the first draft in a cafe with lots of treats to spur us on, so that was fun. Then came all the rewriting and editing. There were so many details to consider, I thought my brain might explode! But the end result was so rewarding I was sure I wanted to do it again one day.
After many years, hundreds of uni essays and more than twenty jobs in hospitality, I decided it was time to immerse myself in another world yet again. This time I wrote the first draft by myself, perched at the messy table in the middle of my Brunswick share house, my flat mates asking what on Earth I was giggling at. When I told them I was cackling at the idea of a dog in a human body, running around the classroom yelling that he was bored and threatening to pee on the floor, they thought I had gone nuts! But that’s what’s so fun about writing a book. You can have heaps of fun exploring your nutty side as you scrawl your crazy ideas on the page.
I hope you guys have as many laughs reading it as Mum and I did writing it. And remember to save up your silly ideas; they could be books one day!
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First published by Penguin Group (Australia), 2011
Text copyright © Mary and Katherine Pershall, 2011
Illustrations copyright © Shane McGowan, 2011
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ISBN: 978-1-74-253400-8
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