by Allison Rose
“Brat.” The snide voice startled Nola into looking up into the pale face of Derek Miller. Nola clutched her napkin at the hated nickname that meant Derek thought the two years he had on her age of sixteen was enough of a difference to talk down to her, but she did not dare say anything. Derek casually flipped a folded-up note onto her sandwich. He barely gave her a glance before moving on, his small clique following.
What on earth…? Nola tried to catch Cameron’s eye as they passed. What is this about?
Cameron looked back at her briefly. No smile today, but his eyes on her made her heart pound anyway. He gave her a look that seemed to say, Just do what he says. Like she would even think of defying Derek. All she could do was nod at Cameron before he turned around and followed the others to their usual table across the room.
Noise suddenly started back up in the cafeteria. Nola’s cheeks reddened. “Everyone saw that, didn’t they?”
“Yep,” Lauren answered with a shiver, as if a cold breeze had just come through.
Nola snatched up the note and put it in the pocket of her jeans. She took a breath and picked up her sandwich like nothing happened.
“You aren’t going to read it?” Tris asked with raised eyebrows.
“Later when everyone is not staring,” Nola said back as normally as she could around the anxiety tearing up her insides.
“But then you will tell us what it says?” Tris asked, flipping her long hair over her shoulder.
Nola hesitated. “Only if it is something that will not get you in trouble.”
“You think it could be something dangerous?” Lauren exclaimed. In response to Nola’s harsh look, Lauren lowered her voice as she continued. “Have you gotten into anything, Nola? Was that what you were doing last night?”
Nola sighed. “Nothing has happened. I promise. But if it is something stupid or dangerous, I refuse to involve you two, okay?”
“Fine,” Lauren said tightly. Tris nodded, expression grave.
Nola couldn’t think of one thing Derek would need to talk to her about besides her father’s research. Guilt rose in her stomach about what she had done last night.
I don’t get involved in things like this. This is not me.
Thinking of what could be in the note made Nola a bundle of nerves the rest of the school day. She rushed home after the last bell without a word to anyone and ran directly into the woods behind her house that led to the park. Walking at a brisk pace, Nola wove through the paths and ducked around tour groups to get to an area closer to the far side where not many ventured. Settling crossed-legged on the ground among the bushes and wildlife, she finally felt safe enough to open the note.
I saw you take the vial. Bring it to the woods after sundown. Meet at the cabin.
Nola read the note over again, unsure she got the words right. How? How could he have possibly seen that?
Her whole body started to shake. There must’ve been a camera down there, one Derek had access to. It was the only thing that made sense.
He was spying on her father. Why would he do that? Was he forbidden to see the gray substance as well? Derek hadn’t been around her father’s home lab much lately.
Nola worried the ends of her medium-length auburn hair. Maybe he just wants the vial. Every instinct Nola had screamed at her not to give it to him.
And then the real problem hit her. If she didn’t hand it over, Derek could make her life a misery. He could tell her father. He could threaten her with that knife of his.
The psycho now has power over me.
Putting her arms around her head, she tried to process this calmly. It took a while, but eventually she powered through the incoherent questions to contemplate possible actions.
There is no going back, she reminded herself. You were the one who was dumb enough to get yourself into this mess.
I could tell my father. But that might get me into even worse trouble. Nola cringed. He hardly noticed her now, but she imagined his anger at finding out she stole something as valuable and secret as this. That was not the attention she wanted.
No. He can’t know. At least not yet. Not until I have a chance to fix this somehow.
After all, what could Derek really do to me?
Chapter 4
The woods don’t seem as friendly at night. Or maybe it’s just because I’m sneaking into the park after hours to meet this psycho. Willingly.
Nola knew exactly where the cabin was that Derek referred to in the note. She walked or sat in the park behind her house often, daydreaming or doodling in her notebook. An old hunting cabin rested near a lily pond toward the center of the park and was a place she heard mentioned in whispers between Cameron and Adam, another of Derek’s crew, about meeting for some mysterious purpose. She had suspected it was to sneak out and drink.
That definitely wouldn’t be the case tonight. Nola’s stomach twisted into knots.
As she approached the cabin, the light of her cell phone revealed four hooded figures, faces indiscernible in the darkness. A scream jumped into her throat, but she swallowed it down quickly as the tallest removed his hood, briefly shining a flashlight on his face. Derek.
Do they think they are in a movie or something? Nola thought as she tried to calm her breath. She briefly considered turning and running right then. I didn’t think I would be joining a cult.
Derek motioned with one arm at the cabin, the light of his flashlight guiding the way as the others filed into the open door as if this was normal. This is supposed to be boarded up. Nola hesitated.
Then she thought of the gray substance and its life-giving power and her resolve strengthened once more. Whatever Derek is doing out here in the park after hours can’t be good. Maybe finding out what he is up to will be my way out of this, something I can bring to Dad to make up for taking the vial.
Nola squared her shoulders and walked past Derek into the cabin.
One of the others lit a lantern that sat on a table toward the back of the room. It threw a dim light on the dusty wood furniture pushed to the sides of the room to clear a space in the middle of the floor in front of a stone fireplace.
The others still had their hoods on, but Nola guessed they were the usual crowd from school: Cameron, Adam, and Jeanine. At least I hope they are, she thought desperately. It would make all of this less creepy. The thought that Cameron was here to witness this was less than comforting, though.
This may not be my shining moment, but at least he will see me stand up to Derek. If I get up the nerve to do it. And if one of the cloaks is actually him.
Once all of them were inside and the door was locked, Derek turned to Nola and silently extended a hand, palm-up.
She squared her shoulders, looking brave but so small as she said, “I don’t have it.”
Derek’s expression was unsurprised as he lowered his arm.
Without warning, the two larger figures grabbed her and one put a hand over her mouth. Fear coursed through Nola as she thrashed unsuccessfully.
As she struggled, she caught a glimpse of Cameron’s face under his hood. There was definite guilt in his expression, but he continued to attempt to hold her still.
How could he? Nola felt the sting of betrayal despite the fact that they hadn’t been that close. Then the fear returned in full force as she contemplated what that guilt might mean. This is bad. Panic threatened to overwhelm Nola. Maybe Derek can hurt me and get away with it.
Derek stepped closer. He reached into his cloak and pulled out a vial of the swirling gray. Nola immediately recognized the substance. “Doesn’t matter,” he said.
He already has some. Nola renewed her struggle as Derek took yet another step closer. She succeeded in biting the hand over her mouth. The other cloaked figure holding her cried out, and she was free to speak.
“What are you doing? Do you even know what that is?” she asked.
Derek paused. Nola mentally kicked herself as she remembered she should be screaming and not questioning her attacker. But before she
could draw another breath, the hand was back over her mouth. As she struggled, she caught a glimpse of Adam’s sneer, the hood having fallen back from the boy’s face in his efforts to secure her again. That left Jeanine standing on Derek’s other side a few feet in front of Nola. Her guess was confirmed as the taller girl flipped her hood back with what looked like relief on her haughty face once she saw that Adam’s had fallen.
Neither of them seemed concerned about what was going on. And despite the guilt she saw in Cameron’s eyes, his hands were still restraining her other side.
“It doesn’t matter,” was all Derek said before he shot forward. Nola closed her eyes in anticipation of a physical attack, but all he did was pinch her nose closed. Adam’s hand disappeared from her mouth. Without thinking, she opened her mouth to breathe. In that split second, Derek poured the contents of the vial in, then swiftly covered her mouth with his own long-fingered hand.
Acting on instinct, Nola tried to spit and to cough it up, but ended up swallowing the liquid in the end. It was not unpleasant and almost tasted like nothing. But it burned as it went down and caused Nola’s stomach and throat to tingle afterward.
As suddenly as they had grabbed her, Nola’s captors released her and she fell to her hands and knees. She shook in fury and terror. Why? Why do this? Why me? I don’t deserve this! She lowered her forehead to the ground and crossed her arms over her stomach. She briefly wondered if she should try to purge her stomach. Though she supposed Derek would just pour more down her throat.
I should try to run…but even if they let me leave, no one else would believe me, possibly not even my dad. And if I admit it to him, I doubt he’ll even be able to help given the failed experiments I saw last night.
No. It would be better to wait it out for now. At least the substance seemed to give life.
A desperation slowly took over, though. I still don’t know what it is! Nola closed her eyes and willed herself to take deep breaths. You can break down later. Now you need to find out what they know, she told herself over and over. For now, she did not feel physically different besides her racing heart and the tingling originating from her stomach and traveling into her extremities. But that could change in an instant.
So Nola summoned all of her courage and, still speaking to the floor, managed to ask her attackers, “What is it?”
“Don’t know,” Derek answered with little emotion. Nola thought she knew how dangerous he was, but his apathy toward the situation was truly frightening.
Rage sparked within Nola and overshadowed the fear for a moment. She picked up her head and fixed the arrogant boy with a death stare. “You don’t know?”
He met her glare. “How do you feel?” he asked in an even voice.
She tried to run then, barely able to make it to the door before Adam and Cameron caught her. “Relax,” Derek said as she struggled. “You saw what it does to plants. There is a good possibility we just gave you a gift.”
A gift?! Nola didn’t think it was possible to hate someone as much as she hated him in this moment. Then her vision swam before her eyes, she sat on the ground hard, fighting to stay conscious. She was vaguely aware of one of them touching her wrist to take her pulse.
This isn’t happening. Nola sank to the ground in a ball, thoughts a useless storm of emotion and panic. She was barely aware of the others, more afraid now of what was happening inside her. They couldn’t hurt her any more than they already had.
Within a minute, the dizziness passed and the hurt and fear were replaced with a sort of numbness. It took longer for the tingling to die down to a hum in her veins. Nola barely heard the whispers of the others through her mental fog as they shuffled around and tried to guess what her next reaction would be.
After a mental check, Nola decided she didn’t feel any different, except for the remaining tingling sensation and some external source of energy that seemed to be tugging at her awareness, drawing her out of her mental shell. The sensation was both familiar and odd at the same time.
The nagging grew to a point where Nola opened her eyes and slowly sat up, conscious of the eyes on her.
“How do you feel?” Derek said again with no ounce of concern. For a brief moment, he reminded Nola of her father, more focused on data and discovery than anything else.
“What do you have in your cloak?” Nola asked instead.
He gave her a creepy half smile then, pulling aside one side of his cloak to reveal several other vials holding substances of gray, black, and red. They lit up in her vision, but the gray one appeared brighter than the rest. It was like the captivation she felt from the vial in her room, but more powerful, to the point where it almost hummed to her senses. Nola unconsciously leaned forward. It feels almost alive.
“You will see what the rest of these can do soon enough. Now answer my question,” Derek continued.
Nola snapped herself out of the trance. “Stomachache. Headache,” she said, looking him in the eye even though it still terrified her. “Tired.”
He fixed her with a threatening stare. “Nothing else?”
“No,” she lied. He couldn’t find out she felt different. He wanted something to happen, and she wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. He couldn’t win.
Derek straightened, brow furrowed. “It could be a delayed effect. You might feel it more tomorrow.”
“Or she is faking.” Looking up from studying her nails, Jeanine eyed her. Nola stiffened at the accusation.
Derek gave Nola another evaluating look. “Even if she is, she won’t be able to hide it forever.” He gave an unconcerned shrug. “We’ll be watching you. And if you tell anyone, we have evidence that you took the vial. We will just say that you must’ve made the decision to swallow it on your own. These guys can think of a clever reason why you might do that.” He gestured to the others. Adam snorted and Jeanine’s dainty mouth twisted into a cruel smile. Cameron looked at the ground.
“Besides, to an outsider you will just sound crazy,” Derek continued. “And what will your father think?”
Nola lowered her gaze at the dirt floor, feeling more trapped and helpless than she had ever felt before. Shame colored her features. I only made things worse. There is no way I can tell my father now. He will kill me.
“And what if I tell your father?” she shot back at Derek.
He smirked. “Go ahead. He might even be proud of me for once.”
Nola stared, at a loss for words.
“Anyway,” Derek went on, “you know our secret now, so you are one of us. Welcome to the group,” he said with a smile that was more of a sneer.
Nola shook her head. “No—”
“The other ones have yet to be tried on humans,” Derek cut her off. Nola resisted the urge to step backward as his meaning became clear.
“And I suppose you will try those on me next if I tell?” she said in a wavering voice.
“Wouldn’t want to risk reactions with the gray power,” Derek answered snidely. “But your friends might make good test subjects.”
No, no, no… Nola glared at him and then turned to the others standing silently behind her, watching. Cowards. But she had no more energy left to feed the hate, or perhaps it was another effect of the gray substance that was still a tingling presence within her body.
Shoulders slumped, Nola allowed them to escort her to the edge of the wood and watch as she crossed to her house and entered the back door. She didn’t look back.
After giving her waiting mother a fake smile and a mumbled goodnight, Nola wearily climbed the stairs to her bedroom and, despite the late hour, forced herself to write down all of it.
I can’t believe this is happening to me. It’s already starting to feel like it was all a dream. Maybe I want it to be.
Physically, I still do not feel much different besides a slight stomachache, a headache, and that weird tingling and pull of the gray substance on my desk. It’s way stronger than before. Like it’s calling to me, drawing me in. I can’t stop staring at it. P
erhaps I am now something like it, something other.
Well, at least I don’t feel like I’m dying, but if I am any different in the morning, you now know why.
Chapter 5
Besides being in an extremely foggy state of mind, Nola didn’t feel terrible the next morning. The tingling, stomachache, and headache were all gone, and in their place was a weariness that Nola felt to the bone. She tumbled out of bed and hurried to the mirror. Relief spread through her as she beheld her normal face staring back at her, even if her round hazel eyes looked a little wild.
Maybe it was a dream… But then she felt the pull of energy from her desk.
With hesitant fingers, she removed the vial from her drawer. The liquid swirls seemed attracted to her as well, growing more active after she picked it up. There was more of a glow to it this morning, the same as with Derek’s vials last night. Weird.
“Nola!” She jolted back to reality as her mother called from downstairs.
I’ll be late. Nola started to look around for her clothes, but the thought of school had her doubled over onto the floor, shaking and breathing hard, wanting nothing more than to crawl back into bed and never face the world again.
They’ll be waiting for me. He’ll be waiting for me. The fear from last night came back to her. And they have complete control over me.
A knock sounded at her bedroom door. Nola just had time to scramble up off the floor before her father poked his head in. “Your mother says you’ll be late for school,” he muttered in his usually state of hurry before ducking back into the hall again.
Nola stared at the space he left in the doorway. The memory of him patting her head from the day before flashed before her eyes. They don’t expect anything of me. None of them, she thought. They don’t even really see me. It’s why Derek did that to me last night, because he could.
A new resolve started in her mind and spread throughout her being.
I have to go to school today. I need to act normal. They can’t even so much as suspect something. They can’t win.