by Cee Perkins
Don’t roll your eyes, gun safety is important.
Anyway, I taught girls how to disengage, disassemble, clean, and reassemble firearms. Then, they learned to shoot them. It was important to me that they learn to use all kinds of weapons, but guns are a personal favorite of mine.
Unfortunately, they don’t allow me to practice with my rifle here…because it’s an illegal one. But when they’re first learning about firearms, we always start at the range simply for safety reasons. I’ve found that having the structure of lanes and headgear, along with paper targets gives the girls a) a sense of control and safety and b) a more positive introduction to something that most of them have always been taught to stay away from.
Take Isla, for example.
I was walking out to my car after hooking up with this male escort (he was so hot, and he was off duty. I’m hot enough that I don’t have to pay for dickings) when I heard a scuffle coming from the side alley outside the dude’s building. Being me, meaning pretty much always ready to throw down, I turned down the alley and found this douche with a hand over a tiny girl’s mouth and nose, pants around his ankles, her skirt pushed up, and underwear ripped.
It did not end well for that dude.
Isla was in tears and on the verge of passing out. I got her to my car, then to my apartment, and asked if he’d gotten too far. She shook her head, tears, and snot still running down her face, and said, “The self-defense class didn’t work!” Before wailing again. I washed her face, put her to bed, and the next morning explained how I could help her. Teach her how to keep it happening again. Isla was fiery, ready for revenge, and refused to be held down by fear. That’s how I knew she’d take to my type of schooling.
So far, we were still trying to find her niche. She was fierce in hand-to-hand, but not exceptional. She had no inclination toward the technological aspects and didn’t seem too interested in burglary. So we were trying firearms.
Ash was along because she’d done something dumb, and to discourage it from happening again, I was making her clean up after me.
After signing in and being assigned our lane, the four of us went back into the shooting area.
“Ok, Isla, show me how to check the chamber and ammo,” I told her. She did.
“Now check the sighting.” I made an adjustment to her stance so that the kickback wouldn’t put her on her tiny ass. “Put on the headgear and send your target back.” I turned to Ash. “You’ll pick up the casings. I am not impressed with you right now, so you’re being demoted.” Ash looked at the floor and nodded.
Isla had set her target back to the ten-foot range and turned to me expectantly. “Plant your feet shoulder-width apart. Grip with both hands. Look down the barrel, through the sight, and aim. Both eyes open. Brace against the kickback so that you don’t fall, and your aim stays true. Pull the trigger.”
I watched Isla do each step, down to the trigger. “Go ahead and empty the chamber. We’ll pull the target then.”
She nodded her head and emptied the clip. Ash brought the target up and I blinked at the paper. I’m never surprised by the focus the girls I choose have on their training. I’m hardly ever surprised at how good they are.
But holy shit. She’s good. “Is this the first time you’ve shot a gun, Isla?” Ash asked.
Isla turned and looked at us, her cheeks flushed and eyes shining with pride. “Yes. This is good, right?” she asked.
“This is very good,” I answered and pulled the target down. Almost half of her shots were in the head area of the target. Not all in the same place and one would have grazed a person, but fuck. She did better than I did my first time. “Isla, this is good. Let’s try targets further out.” She nodded and turned to Ash.
“You heard her, put me up a new target,” she said with a smirk to Ash.
Ash rolled her eyes, but I couldn’t do anything but laugh. This girl is going to be the next me.
Dan
I called Ryan to see if he could help keep my mind occupied, and then met him in the park across from his building for a run. As we stretched out, it occurred to me that he’d been working overnights. “Hey, I forgot you’re working nights. I’m not keeping you up, am I?” I asked.
“Nah, dude. I went to sleep when I got home this morning. I got all I need,” he answered with a smile.
“Ok. Thanks for meeting me. I couldn’t go home yet.”
“No problem, Dan, you know that. I’m here for whatever you need. Even if it’s to leave you in the dust,” he said, then took off at a sprint, laughing.
I shook my head and started after him. After about fifty feet, his gas ran out and he was bent over catching his breath. I jogged up next to him and said, “Don’t you remember the tortoise and the hare? Slow and steady wins the race.”
He chuckled and stood up again. “Ok, ok. Let’s do this,” he said, and we set a conversational pace.
“Did you get your mom squared away?” he asked.
“I guess. We got Dad’s urn today and she said she just wanted to go home, so I took her. By the time I got her inside and on the couch, she was asleep.”
Ryan looked at me from the side. “You worried?”
I frowned, considering. “Well, on the one hand, depression is a stage of grief. In that sense, I guess not, because she needs to move through them in order to heal. But on the other hand, her benders always seemed to happen after some bad news. And there’s no worse news than losing the love of your life, I guess.” I scratched my head and shrugged. “Not that I would know. It always looked to me that they were giving one another the opportunity to hurt each other. In that sense, I guess I’m worried she’ll go out again.”
Ryan stopped abruptly with a look of disbelief on his face. “You guess there’s no worse news than losing the love of your life? Regardless of their addictions, Dan, they loved one another, and they actually fit together like two halves of a whole. Don’t you think you’d be sad if you lost your other half?” He cocked his head as he regarded me. “Wait. You don’t want that, do you?”
Well, that escalated quickly. I stopped jogging in place and stared at the path beneath my feet. I took a deep breath and answered, “I mean, I don’t want to give someone the opportunity to mess up everything I’ve worked for. And I just don’t think there’s a female version of me out there.” I paused to gather my thoughts. “I’ve never been in love. Shoot, I’ve barely ever even been in like. Having another person around to throw off my schedule, and the unpredictability of life with another person? It just isn’t for me. I don’t need anything to change in my life. Things are great. I have you, we hang out often, and go to The Game Room every week. I have a clean home exactly how I want it, with pictures on clean walls, nice dishes, crisp sheets, and no hair in the drain. I have a good job. My career isn’t going anywhere— people will always need help with their money. And I’m reaching for a promotion in the next couple of years. Having someone around that I don’t need just opens up for too many risks. I don’t want to go back to—“ I stopped my diatribe before telling Ryan something that would really concern him.
“Humans need companionship, Dan. As a species, we’re meant to survive in groups, populate and commune, not isolate ourselves. Did you know, ancient humans who were cast out from their tribes, isolated, nearly always died as a result of the isolation?”
“I’m not going to die from being attacked by a wild animal,” I said with a snort.
“No, but don’t you want to leave something behind? Some kind of legacy, marking the world that you were here?”
“I don’t see why I should. What could I possibly offer the human race? My genetics are trash. The only thing I could pass on is how to suck as a son. Why would I do that to a woman? Especially the kind of woman I’d need. I’d need…like, the female version of myself in order to be comfortable with it.”
Ryan’s jaw dropped. Then he opened and closed his mouth.
“Just say what you’re thinking, man. You look like a fish,” I said.
“There’s so much wrong with that statement, I can’t even decide what needs to be addressed the most. I’m not even going to dignify that you think you’re not the best son. I don’t think you need a female version of yourself. I think you need someone who can give you security while opening up your world. And I know there’s someone out there that fits that description, just for you.”
Rubbing the back of my neck and kicking my foot back and forth, I asked, “Is that what you’re looking for? Someone to open up your world?”
He chuckled. “Ah, no. I’m not looking to settle down with anyone any time soon. I’m ok with sampling all the wares out there. But you…you’re not like me—”
“Duh.”
“I think when you find the one person you’re meant to be with, you’ll stay with them,” he said, then reached a hand out to pat my shoulder. “C’mon, let’s keep going.”
We turned back onto the path, Ryan’s eyes still on me when he stepped forward— and crashed.
“Oh my God, get off me, you big tree!”
I looked down and saw Ryan trying to push himself off the ground, a petite woman in tiny shorts and a sports bra underneath him. Next to them, a taller woman with skintight leggings and sports bra was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe.
And jeez, she was pretty. I mean, she could have been a bit more modest with her running clothes, but that’s not my call to make, obviously. Her blond hair was tied up in a bun, her blue eyes shining with mirth. She had creamy, golden skin, and tattoos covered her arms and torso.
“That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all week,” she said, trying to talk through her laughter.
Her friend, finally back on her feet, glared at her. “Shut up, Corra. You’d fall too if you got hit by a truck.” Then she turned to Ryan and said, “Watch where you’re— whoa. You are a big guy, aren’tcha?”
I looked at Ryan, who smiled at the little lady he’d run over. “Well, I wouldn’t say I’m a truck, but I guess I do alright.” I think he was in flirt mode...is that what it’s called? At any rate, he was flashing dimples and putting his hands on his hips, subtly flexing his biceps. The lady didn’t miss any part of it, either. “Can I make it up to you? Maybe over a drink?”
The two women exchanged glances. The blond shrugged and the one Ryan had run over smiled at him. “Sure, why not. I’m Cay and this is Corra,” she said, gesturing to the blond. Corra smirked and waved.
“Well, that’s the least enthusiastic response I’ve ever gotten to an invitation. I’m Ryan, and this is Dan,” Ryan said, pointing to me. Both women looked at me like they hadn’t known I was there. Par for the course when Ryan was around, though. I wasn’t mad. I just gave a little wave.
He turned back to the small lady in front of him. “So, can I have your number? I really would like to show you how sorry I am,” he said.
Yep, flirt mode. I just rolled my eyes.
Chapter 4
Corra
“That pasty little guy looked hella uncomfortable,” I laughed to Cay as we got back on the path.
She grinned back. “Except he wasn’t all that little. Tall, lean, clean cut...mm.”
I would’ve loved to corrupt a buttoned-up tight-ass, panic-ridden man like that. He stood stock-still most of the time we talked to the other guy, looking seriously uncomfortable. But she was right, he hadn’t been small and not at all pasty. “I wonder if he’s got a big dick,” I mused aloud.
Cay whirled around to me, all smiles again as she said, “Most likely. I bet he doesn’t really even know what to do with it though. Maybe we’ll both get some fun out of my bruised ass.”
I snorted, “If he does it right, you and he will. I need no part of your ass.”
Now, I’ve known Cay since we brawled it out in high school over a parking spot in the teacher’s lot. The softball coach pulled us apart, and Cay, being tiny as she is, dangled in the air as she tried to get to me. I burst out laughing at the comical way she was running in the air. She scowled at me and reached again, but Coach whipped her around like a little doll, which made me double over again. Finally, she realized what was so funny. We’d been best friends ever since. I’d seen her mad, sad, in the throes of orgasm (don’t judge me), happy-ish, and at two points, bordering on criminally insane. Being the result of an MC biker and a club whore, she’d seen and done and been through just about everything.
Except I’d never seen this, a breathless, hopeful, delighted smile covering her face. Her little cheeks were pink and her gray eyes sparkled as she told me, “I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”
Dan
For the rest of the run, Ryan seemed to be daydreaming. “Cay was something, wasn’t she?” he asked.
I just shrugged my shoulders and answered, “Sure.”
Ryan cocked his head to the side and regarded me for a second. “How about her friend? Corra?”
Again, I shrugged and said, “She’s pretty. She looked like she’d wreak havoc on some man’s life.”
“You wouldn’t even consider taking her out to dinner?” Ryan asked, shaking his head. “Why not?”
“We just discussed this, Ryan. I don’t need anyone turning my life upside down.”
“Have you ever considered being medicated?
Confused. “Why do I need to be medicated for being cautious?”
“To help with your anxiety.”
I took a deep breath and ran my hands over my head. “I’m not anxious.”
“Sure, Dan.”
I turned my glare up to him. “Don’t patronize me. There’s nothing wrong with wanting order and routine.”
“You’re right, there’s not. I’m not saying anything is really wrong with you, anyway. I only said it because I think if you managed to alleviate some of your anxiety, you’d have a better quality of life.”
“You’re not a psychiatrist. Therefore, you don’t have any knowledge of anxiety or my ‘quality of life.’ I appreciate your intention, but I don’t need your help.”
Ryan held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, I didn’t mean to offend you. Are you ready to go home?”
“Yes, I would like that a lot.”
I knew it would be a tense jog back.
Chapter 5
Dan
My ringing phone was what woke me the following morning which was weird because I always set my alarm for 6:30 a.m., so I had time to go to the gym before work. I glanced at the clock on the dresser— 7:48 a.m.
I sprung up from the bed, wondering why I didn’t wake up at my normal time, and only half registered my still ringing phone. I raced to the closet where I saw yesterday’s jeans and button-down in the hamper. Right, I thought, I’m on bereavement. Taking a deep breath, I ran my hands over my head and turned back into the bedroom, checking my phone to see who called.
He answered on the first ring.
“Ry? Everything ok? You never call me in the morning.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just checking in with you, since I know you’re not working and you know, yesterday…”
Oh. Right. Yesterday. Two days after I lost my dad.
“Yeah, I’m fine. What are you doing?”
“Headed to the gym. Wanna join?”
“Isn’t it a little late for the gym?” I asked.
“I’m on the late shift tonight, so I slept in…with my date from last night,” he answered.
I wondered if he’d ever been in love. He dated enough to have found someone, but he’d never stayed with one for long, so I’m assuming he hadn’t.
“Dan?”
“Yeah, sorry, I zoned out. Gym. Yes, I can work out.”
“Cool. See you in ten,” he said.
“In ten. Bye,” I said, ending the call. Maybe running would give me some direction during my unwanted time off. I could feel my future promotion slipping through my hands each day I’d had off— and not only because I wasn’t there, but also because my accounts were sitting idle. What happened if one of the clients
needed a question answered and I wasn’t there? We could lose the account. Besides, I didn’t like having this spare time to wallow.
An hour and a half later, I was toweling off from taking a shower at the gym, after six miles and dozens of reps, with Ryan’s pushing. “You can’t neglect leg day,” he said.
“Running is my leg day,” I responded.
“So your forearms are muscular, but when you take off your pants, it looks like you have a chicken’s bottom half.”