by Marta Perry
Catching Aunt Jessie’s eye, she gave her a questioning look. “Was Betty here while I was out?”
“Can’t you tell? This time she’s torn between doing a crib quilt for a niece or a double bed quilt for her son’s wife because they’re redecorating.” Her lips twitched. “She still hadn’t decided when she left. We’d better look for several more visits.”
Giving Noah a push out of her surface mind, she tried to respond properly. “Doesn’t it depend on which comes first, the baby or the redecorating? Maybe we can nudge her into a decision that way.”
Aunt Jessie gave her a wry smile. “I wouldn’t count on it.” Her face sobered. “How did it go with your mamm and daad this morning?”
She blinked back the tears that came too readily when she thought of them. “As well as it could, I guess. I tried to reassure them that Chief Jamison had no interest in pursuing how I came to be part of the family.”
“It might not be up to him.” Aunt Jessie’s face hardened. “What then?”
“I’ll tell you what I told them. We’re family. We stand together against whatever comes.”
Her aunt gave her the rare smile that was as good as a hug from anyone else. “That’s what they needed to hear. What we all need to hear.” She hesitated before going on. “Don’t worry too much. You already know how strong your daad is. As for your mamm... I think she can handle anything as long as she doesn’t lose you.”
“She won’t.” Joanna hesitated, not sure how much to say. But she could trust Aunt Jessie to keep confidences. She always had, from Joanna’s secret childhood fears to her foolish teenage crushes. “I did wonder if the fact that my Englisch blood made me different...more independent and questioning than most Amish girls my age. But Noah said...” She let that trail off.
“What did Noah say?” Aunt Jessie didn’t seem surprised that Joanna talked to him about it.
“He said that I was Amish by raising and by choice, and who my birth parents were didn’t affect that.”
She gave an approving nod. “Noah has a gut head on his shoulders. But it could be he’s too stubborn for his own good.”
Joanna was inclined to agree, but she decided not to respond. Right on the heels of that decision, she heard a knock on the locked front door. It was Noah.
Aunt Jessie was closer than she was, and she unlocked the door, let Noah in and then relocked it. “No need for any more customers today.” She glanced from Noah to Joanna. “I’ll go up and get supper started. Stay if you want, Noah. It’s nothing fancy.”
Without a look back, she marched upstairs, rather obvious about leaving them alone together.
Joanna pushed bolts of fabric into place, trying to think of something to say, but she couldn’t come up with anything. After the emotional talk they’d had earlier, whatever she said would sound awkward.
Noah cleared his throat as if he had as much difficulty as she did. He came a little closer, watching the movement of her hands instead of looking into her face.
Just when she’d begun to think he’d leave without a word being spoken, he cleared his throat again.
“Don’t mean to interrupt you when you’re working. But I thought I should know if anything’s changed. About Meredith, I mean,” he added hurriedly, most likely afraid she’d think he meant their personal problems.
She patted the last bolt as if it was urgent that it be in exact alignment with the other bolts.
“Well, I don’t know what the chief would say to that, but I did show her the necklace.” She paused, remembering that moment. “She recognized it.”
Noah exclaimed in surprise, and she realized he’d thought it a dead end. “How? Why?”
“She said she has one just like it. Her grandmother had gotten one for each of her children. So hers came from her father to her.”
“And the other one?” His impassive face didn’t give anything away now that the momentary surprise was past.
“That was given to her father’s sister. Meredith couldn’t have known her, because she left home several years before Meredith was born. I don’t know why, exactly, but I’d guess she didn’t get along with her father. From the things Owen let drop and what Meredith said, he sounded like a man who wanted things his own way.”
Noah frowned, considering. “Still, it doesn’t necessarily follow that she was your birth mother. Other people might have bought similar necklaces.”
She shook her head. “I suggested that, but Meredith could identify it, because it had a tiny initial worked into the design. It’s not likely anyone else would have an identical one.” She shrugged, wondering why he was putting up an argument against what seemed so obvious. “And there’s the matter of the DNA test. Cousins, most likely, according to the results.”
“Does she think that you’re her cousin?”
“Yah, she does.” Joanna couldn’t help but smile, remembering her face when she’d realized. “She was happy, but I’m not sure it’s all sunk in yet.”
“Or for you, either, I’d guess.”
“That’s about right. It’s answered one big question, but it’s left a lot of others yet to be answered. Why did she leave? Why did she give me away? What happened to her? I’m not sure I’ll ever really understand.”
Compassion broke through the rigid expression he’d taken to using with her. His eyes darkened as if he shared her pain. “I’m sorry. And you may never know.”
She nodded. “I suppose somebody from the family must know a little. Like whether they looked for her or not. I can’t imagine a family that wouldn’t want to know what had happened to her.”
“They are different from us, ain’t so? Meredith...she’d tell you, if she could, I think. Did she talk about it at all?”
“No. I’m not sure how much she’s able to remember, and I couldn’t push her. She talked about some things very naturally, but others... Well, it’s hard to tell. And she got tired so easily. Jamison kept pushing.”
She felt a surge of fresh irritation at the chief. Maybe he was trying to do his job, but badgering Meredith wouldn’t help him.
“He was trying to find out who would benefit if she had died. But it just seemed to confuse her.”
He nodded, understanding. “Jamison’s plenty frustrated at not getting this situation cleared up. Maybe he should talk to that lawyer instead. He must know things like that. And it still doesn’t explain why someone would try to harm you.”
The worry in his face over her safety twisted her heart. It was so obvious that he cared about her. Why couldn’t he just accept the love she offered? It wasn’t what she had expected for her life, either. If she could risk the independence she prized so highly, why couldn’t he take a risk, as well?
“Being run off the road doesn’t seem as important to me as it did when it happened. If that driver had really wanted to put me out of action for some reason, he didn’t do a very good job of it. And when he broke in, he probably had no desire to run into me.”
Noah’s jaw hardened. “That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t finish the job another time. And the next time he might want to be sure you couldn’t interfere again ever.”
He sounded angry, maybe at her for being involved, or maybe at the culprit. It roused her own spirit, and she’d rather feel anger than pain right at the moment.
“You needn’t raise your voice at me. I didn’t do anything.”
He looked at her, seeming baffled as well as angry for a moment. “If you don’t care about your own safety, other people will have to,” he snapped. “At least promise me you won’t budge an inch out of here tonight.”
“I don’t intend to go anyplace.” She softened in the face of his obvious worry. “Let’s not argue. I’ll stay home with Aunt Jessie. Nobody’s going to take on both of us, remember? And you try to get some sleep.”
He gave a short nod, obviously not entirely satisfied.
“No.” As if aware of how curt that sounded, he added. “Thank your aunt Jessie for me. And if anything happens, anything at all, even if it doesn’t seem like a threat, call me. Or call the police. Or both of us. Throw something at the wall, if you have to.”
With a last frown, he spun toward the door and went out, standing there until she’d flipped the locks.
Once he was gone, Joanna stayed where she was for a few minutes. She should be getting used to his insistence on getting away from her, but it hurt fresh each time it happened. How could he try so hard to avoid temptation and yet not see that he was strong enough not to be what his father had been?
She had better get herself under control before she was subjected to her aunt’s sharp gaze. Aunt Jessie already suspected too much.
Too stubborn for his own good. Aunt Jessie was right about that. But maybe Noah didn’t know just how stubborn she could be when she had to.
A small voice in the back of her mind wouldn’t be silenced. What if stubbornness isn’t enough? What if this time you can’t succeed?
All those years when she’d been convinced that this independence was the life she wanted now seemed hopelessly naive. Even if she hadn’t fallen so resoundingly in love, the experiences and shocks of the past weeks had shown her that independence was a mirage. As long as you loved anyone, you were not truly independent, and what would life be without love?
CHAPTER NINETEEN
BY THE TIME supper was over and the dishes were washed, Joanna began to feel she’d regained her balance. With nothing to be said or done about either Meredith or Noah at the moment, she followed Aunt Jessie’s example and settled down with some hand sewing.
To anyone else it would look like a boring evening, she supposed, with Aunt Jessie in her usual rocking chair, her head bent over the creation of an intricate floral block for the quilt she was making.
There was never a time when she didn’t have sewing to do in an evening, like most Amish women, but while Mamm was probably repairing a rip in one of the boys’ shirts and clucking over how hard they were on clothes, Aunt Jessie would be working on the quilts that were her passion.
Joanna studied her intent face. Much as she loved the quilt shop and the work they did, she would never, if she worked on it from now until she was ninety, achieve her aunt’s level of expertise.
But they made for a good partnership that way. Her aunt knew all there was to know about quilts, and she’d turned out to be pretty good at running a business. Probably Noah could use a partner that way, and it sounded as if Caleb was shaping up to be that person for him.
Spreading out the dress she was making for Cathy’s wedding, she took out the thread she’d matched so carefully on the trip to the big fabric store. That had been the day that Meredith came into her life.
Funny that her visit to the store seemed only yesterday, and yet she felt that Meredith had been part of her life forever. Time was a strange thing, depending so much on what happened in a person’s life.
A moment’s reflection told her that Meredith always had been, in a way, part of her life, even though they couldn’t have dreamed of each other’s existence. What kind of relationship had there been between Meredith’s father and her mother? Were they close as children? So many questions occurred to her, but probably not even Meredith would know the answers to some of them.
Her hands fell idle while she thought of Meredith, safe in her hospital room, and remembered her impatience to be gone. She could understand it when she tried to imagine how she’d feel in a similar situation. She’d be impatient herself, eager to get back to her life. But for the moment Meredith was surely safer where she was. The problem would be to convince her of that.
“That’s a nice shade of blue,” Aunt Jessie commented, nodding at the nearly completed dress. “Blue is not the best color for you, but this shade will be fine.”
Joanna smiled. “Exactly. That’s why I picked it out. With three women as different in coloring as Cathy, Rachel and I am, we could have spent months arguing about the right shade. Not that Rachel is likely to argue. Sometimes I wish she would.”
“Yah.” Aunt Jessie shook her head. “That poor child. If she’d stand up to that selfish father of hers more often, she’d be better off.”
“For sure. That’s what Cathy and I are always telling her, but Rachel doesn’t see it that way. She’s been hearing that it’s her duty to take care of her father and her siblings for so long that she doesn’t see when they take advantage of her.”
“It’s not gut for them, either.” Aunt Jessie was tart. “They ought to be standing on their own at their ages.”
Joanna agreed with her, and she wondered if that was something she should point out to Rachel.
“At least she’s out tonight,” she said. “She and Cathy were getting together to work on the dresses. Somebody has to be there to keep Cathy focused on the job—she can handle a classroom full of kinder but is completely ferhoodled at getting ready for her wedding.”
Aunt Jessie chuckled. “You and Rachel are fine side-sitters for her, yah? You’ll see her safely married no matter what.” She paused, studying Joanna’s face. “You’re wishing you were with them tonight instead of sitting here with me, ain’t so?”
“I don’t know about that. I would like to be in on every moment of getting Cathy married, but I couldn’t very well ask Chief Jamison to arrange for someone to drive me back and forth. He’s got enough to do with trying to find out who’s causing all this trouble. Besides, it’s pleasant to have a quiet evening with you.”
“Ach, well, you’re doing something useful while you’re stuck at home.” Jessie nodded toward the dress. “Are you doing a new white cape and apron, as well?”
“I think so. It seems only right to have everything new for a wedding. We wouldn’t want to embarrass Cathy.”
“True enough. But still, it wouldn’t be a wedding if something didn’t go wrong. I remember the time the groom’s friends decided to put his buggy on top of the shed at his bride’s house. A funny joke, they thought it, until they realized that no one had stayed to bring him to the wedding.”
“I don’t remember that one. What did the groom do? Who was it anyway?”
“Elijah Schmidt. You’d never think it to look at him now, but he set out to run the five miles to the wedding. His buddies did catch him and drive him the rest of the way. Their faces were red, that’s for sure.”
“I imagine.” She was diverted at the thought of staid, portly Elijah running along the road in his new black suit.
“Weddings always bring their share of trials, it seems to me. Sometimes I’ve thought it better when the bride is a bit older, like you and your friends.”
“Maybe so.” She kept her voice noncommittal, hoping Aunt Jessie wasn’t going to bring up Noah.
Her aunt seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, and then she looked at Joanna. “You’ve always been one to push ahead. To go after whatever you want as hard as you can.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Sometimes,” her aunt allowed. “But sometimes getting to what’s best takes more patience than anything else. Sometimes people can’t be rushed.”
“I know.” She did know, even though it made her want to tear down barriers with her own hands. “That’s a lot harder.”
Jessie nodded in agreement. “Maybe the prize is all the sweeter if you have to wait for it.” A roll of thunder seemed to punctuate her words.
“I hope so.” They both knew they were talking about Noah, though neither of them would mention his name.
Thunder rumbled again, closer this time, warning of a storm coming. “I thought this storm was going to miss us since it took so long to get here.” Aunt Jessie started to lay aside her work. “I’d
best check the windows. I don’t think anything’s open, but better safe than sorry.”
Joanna was already on her feet. “You stay there. I’ll do it.” She glanced at her aunt’s needle, memory making her smile. “Remember when Grossmammi wouldn’t let us sew when there was a storm, because lightning might strike the needle and hit us?”
Aunt Jessie’s rare smile seemed to go with her on her round of the windows.
There was no point in going down to the shop, since she was quite sure everything there had been closed and latched. She headed into the kitchen, where, sure enough, the window next to the range had been left open an inch. Rain was already spattering the windowsill.
After tending to that, she moved through the rest of the rooms. A flash of lightning hurried her steps, but nothing else was open. In her bedroom, overlooking the street, she paused to look out the window.
The rain pounded against the windows now and swept sideways down Main Street. Streetlights made pale circles on the streets, glistening with water. Normally, there wouldn’t be very many people out at this hour on a Thursday night, and tonight the streets were completely deserted. It was so dark that the lights across the street were just blurry images.
Suddenly, she caught something—some slight movement—at the corner of the building. She craned to see, not sure she wasn’t imagining things. Nothing there now, but the impression unsettled her.
Nothing to worry about, she assured herself. If anyone had gone toward the back entrance, the motion lights would come on. Even as she thought it, the back lights lit up, visible when she glanced from the doorway to the kitchen.
Hurrying now, she raced toward the window that would allow her to see the back step and anyone who was near it.
“Joanna, what’s wrong?” Jessie was on her feet in an instant, following her.
“I thought I saw someone outside. If I open the back window, I’ll be able to see—”
Jessie caught her arm. “Don’t. We should call the police, yah?”
“Just wait.” She freed herself. “It might be nothing, and then wouldn’t we feel foolish?”