HIM

  I've called Luke every day this week at least twice, sometimes more if I started to miss him or got a weird vibe. Every time, it goes straight to his voicemail. Sometimes I call him to listen to his voice, to hear, you've reached Luke Jameson, leave a message. I wish I knew where he was. I wish he would text me and tell me that he's okay. Even that much would suffice.

  I hear a slight commotion as Maureen gets up from her desk, grabbing her things.

  "I'm heading out for the day. Have a good weekend," she smiles.

  "You too," I smile back.

  The shop closes in a half-hour; I will sit and wait until five to see if the desks arrive. I plop my laptop from Facade on Maureen's desk, and I continue working on the Christiansen project designs. It's fantastic, I can handle this project from anywhere I am. It's been nice to see and work with everyone this week without being there in person.

  THE DRIVE IS NICE ON my way home to my dad's, I sing along with the radio and let the hot afternoon air race through my car with the windows down. I feel somewhat content today, better than I have all week. Am I losing hope in myself and Luke, or am I coming to terms our short relationship may have come to an end? I know he needs space and time to think, but I need him and his reassurance too.

  I bring my purse and laptop into my dad's house, setting my purse on the chair in the entryway. I set my laptop down on the kitchen table, then grab a single box of Stouffer's lasagna, and toss it into the microwave. I press the power button on my laptop to reply to client emails and co-worker chats. After I finish my pasta and respond to my final client email for the day, I mosey on upstairs to take a shower and get ready for Jason's party.

  My shower is brief, as I did not get too dirty today, and I also did not have much to ponder over. I dry myself off then flip my hair up in a towel. My sunburn has dissipated, leaving a soft gold hue to my skin but still has a slight sting. I plop my suitcase on my bed; I should unpack my shit since I'm here until the end of September. I grab a pair of nude lace boy shorts and my nipple pedals. I slip on my panties and peel the tape from the pedals, securing them over my nipples.

  I decide on a floral sleeveless mini dress for tonight; it is hot out, and it should help the uncomfortable sensation of my sunburnt skin. I check myself over in the mirror; this dress is super cute, allowing my skin to breathe. I remove the towel from my head, and I blow dry, straighten, then add some soft waves to my hair. I pin the top half back in a slight poof. I apply some makeup, light and subtle. I'm not really in the mood to go all out with my makeup tonight; I'm not feeling it.

  I don't know why I'm getting so dressed up, but I haven't done much involving hair and makeup all week. I go back to my room to put in a pair of pheasant feather earrings, a long dangly necklace, and a bracelet to complete my wardrobe. I check myself over in the mirror then flip my hair out over my shoulders. Maybe part of me thinks I may see Luke tonight, and I want to look somewhat presentable.

  I'm a bit nervous about going to Jason's since I decided not to go there at all this week to see if Luke was at his house or if he may have packed up all his belongings. I tried to focus on other things, although I did drive there once but never turned down the dirt road leading to his place. I don't know what I'd do or say if he's at his house tonight. I have so many mixed feelings floating around that it is hard to decipher what possible reaction I would have in such an event.

  Chapter Seventy-Two

  I follow two cars down the long dirt road. I'm not showing up too late this time around. The butterflies go crazy wild in my stomach as Jason's house comes into view. I can see that he hasn't lit the huge mound made of brush and other shit piled on top of his fire pit. The music is getting louder as I pull up closer toward his garage; I can feel the rumble from the bass as it hits my car.

  I look around to see, besides my car and Jason's truck, there are only six other vehicles here. The last party I came to, his place had so many cars that I had to park away from his house. I'm arriving an hour earlier than I did the last time, but I figured there would be more people here by now. At least, I will be able to find Jason right away.

  I flip down the visor and check over my makeup and hair; I reapply some lip gloss and flip the visor back up. I open my door and pop my trunk. I picked up two cases of beer and a bottle of Fireball on the way. I figured it's the least I could do for all the liquor I drank at the last party I attended here. I set the cases down, adjust my dress, then close my trunk. I walk up the rest of the driveway to the garage.

  "Hey Ali, let me help you with those," Austin says as he grabs both the cases from me.

  Thankfully, he grabbed those; I was about ready to lose the bottle of Fireball I had tucked up under my arm.

  "Thanks, Austin," I reply with a smile.

  I begin following him up the stairs to the game area above the garage, but I peer down the long driveway that goes past Jason's first. I want so badly to walk down there and see if Luke is here or has been here since he had left Milwaukee almost a week ago.

  "Could you grab the door, please," Austin asks.

  I pull the door open, and we enter. There are a few more people here than I was led to believe based on the number of cars outside. There are about fifteen or so people here already. Nikki and Mindy among them and three other girls but no sign of Bridget, thank God. The rest are guys from work, High School, and a few that I don't recognize. I don't see Jason, so I set the Fireball down next to the other liquors at the homemade bar then turn to leave to find him.

  "Hey, where do you think you're going?" Nikki yells from across the room.

  I stop and turn back toward everyone. Mindy and Nikki walk up to me; hopefully, they won't be too harsh without their fearless leader. I give them a polite smile as their piercing glares rip holes through my clothes. Why do women have to do that to one another? Why are they so cynical?

  "Hey," I say.

  I am not enthused what so ever by them judging my hair, makeup, and choice of attire with their annoying glares.

  "Aren't you drinking tonight, or are you just running off to your boyfriend," Mindy chimes.

  I cannot tell by her tone if she's being friendly or a straight-up bitch, but how does she know Luke is, well was I guess you'd say as of currently, my boyfriend.

  "You best hurry because Bridget has already left to go see him, and she's going to beat you to your man," Mindy smirks and laughs, while Nikki shows zero emotion.

  Okay, now I know that her tone was bitchy. I don't know what the hell I've ever done to these three girls to cause them to hate me so much. I don't reply; I smile a fake smile and walk away. I make my way down the stairs, and another wave of butterflies hits me.

  I cross in front of the garage, which is open but doesn't look to have anyone inside. More cars are coming down the driveway. I stop and stare down the dirt driveway that leads to Luke's place. What if he doesn't want to see me? What if Bridget is down there already and they are- ugh, I don't even want to think about her touching him or worse, him touching her. I couldn't handle walking in on them. That would make me feel grossly uncomfortable and would break me inside.

  I hear the door of the house close, and I watch as Jason walks out. I smile and start to walk toward him.

  "Damn, Alicat. Why do you have to come dressed all fine and shit?" he says as his eyes practically bug out of his head.

  "Shut up, Jay. My outfit isn't that bad," I blush.

  "No, no, you look fucking hot. For real," he says, his face a bit flushed.

  "Um, thanks," I spit, then giggle.

  He tugs at the bottom of my dress, and I swat at him.

  "A little fucking short, young lady," he smirks.

  I pull my dress down as Jason puts his arm around me, and we head back to the garage. A group of guys comes boisterously, strolling up the driveway toward us along with Bridget. Fucking Mindy tried to start shit between Bridget and me when she wasn't even fucking here yet. These girls still act like we're in damn High School, it's getting old.

&nbs
p; Bridget looks at me from the corner of her eye then walks past with the group of guys. Jason removes his arm from around me to fist bump and does some weird handshake with some of them. Jason grabs my hand like he used when we were younger, as we head up the stairs. He always had a hold of me at school and parties as if I were his property, or he was my overly protective big brother.

  I walk over to where all the beer and liquor are displayed to get myself a drink. I'm not in the mood for beer and don’t know what I want. I skim over the large selection as if I'm at a mini liquor store. I notice the gold and maroon bottle of Jeremiah Weed; I liked this a lot the last time I was here. I search for some lemonade and find a bottle next to the Coke and Sprite. I make myself a weed and lemonade then head back over by Jason, who won't stop checking me out since he first saw me.

  We start a game of beer pong, Jason, and I used to be the reigning champs back in our High School days.

  We win our first game. I make myself another weed and lemonade as we wait for new opponents. Someone grabs my ass, and I turn to deck them but realize it's Jason. If it were anyone else, I would have lost my shit. The only guy I've let touch me since the night with Brady has been Luke. Even though it was Jason, it still made me cringe and feel a slight bit uneasy. He apologized when he saw the look on my face, so I know it was harmless and something he's done for years.

  He talks me into taking a victory shot of tequila. It's so hard to take right off the bat when you've just started drinking; it doesn't go down as smooth. We begin a new game, stopping halfway for Jason and a guy from the opposing team to grab a beer. I mix another drink quickly. Of course, we end up winning again. We both take another victory shot and dive into the next poor souls who dare to play against us. I sink the final cup, and that's three games in a row; we're still the undefeated champs. I'm still set on the more I drink, the better player I become.

  We down our third we are the champions shot, and Jason dismisses himself, I'm sure, to go find his bed buddy for the night. I giggle as I spoke too soon since he's hovered over the back of the couch with his tongue jammed down Bridget's throat. It's a bit disgusting. I skim the room and notice a lot more people have arrived since we started playing. I walk back to the bar area to make myself yet another drink.

  I am quite the popular one tonight, and I know it's because of my dress. I didn't get nearly the amount of attention at the last party when I had worn a sweatshirt and shorts. I pour myself my fourth, or maybe it's my fifth drink, I don't remember, all I know is that I'm feeling fabulous. I look around the room to see all the smiling faces of everyone having a great time. I decide to step outside to grab some fresh air.

  I make my way through the crowd of horny male gawkers and some jealous female judgers. I step outside, and a nice warm breeze hits my face. The summer evening breeze is so lovely. I get to the bottom of the stairs, about to head into the garage to bullshit with people that I probably don't know or remember, when I get the brilliant idea to walk down to Luke's place. I'm sure it's all this liquid courage I've gained, but I don't have a single butterfly floating around in my stomach. The driveway seems a lot longer than I remember, and I badly want to sit down, but I keep going. I can see the light from the pole barn come into view. Well, neither his car nor his truck is parked outside.

  I trip over a rock or something, probably my foot, and almost take a digger, but I miraculously recover without spilling even a single drop of my drink. I take a sip and continue my very stylish stumble to the door. I put my ear to it to see if I can hear any music or anything, but there's nothing. I get distracted from cupping my hand to my ear, realizing my face feels very warm. I feel around my face for a bit before I bring my focus back to the door. I turn the knob, but it's locked. I walk around the back of the pole barn, using the flashlight on my phone. I try the door on the backside, but it's locked too.

  I peer through the window of the door, and it looks pitch black inside. I yell Luke's name a few times and knock on the door like a drunk idiot. I walk back around and stand under the light of the building. I fumble through my phone and tap his name on my screen. I hope and pray he answers this time around. Fingers crossed!

  It's ringing, for the first time in six days and a hundred calls later, it's ringing. I pray Luke picks up and doesn't let it go to voicemail or hits ignore.

  "Hello!"

  Silent for a moment, surprised by what I hear on the other end. A women's voice is ringing through my ear. I hope I'm just really drunk, and Luke sounds like a girl right now.

  "Um, may I speak to Luke, please?" I manage to spit out.

  "He's indisposed at the moment," she softly replies.

  My jaw drops. The words she speaks rip the strings from my heart, indisposed, what does that mean, and why is she answering his phone?

  "What?" I ask in a confused panic.

  Even my drunken state cannot fathom what I am hearing.

  "He's currently unavailable," she whispers.

  I can feel my heart sink into my chest and the tears well up in my eyes as I stand alone under the light of the pull barn.

  "Oh, okay, thanks," I mutter quickly, then hang up.

  A few tears race down my face as my vision becomes very blurry. I lean my back up against the door and slide myself gently to the ground. I take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and call him again once my vision has cleared some. It doesn't ring this time but goes straight to voicemail. I shouldn't have called him; he doesn't want to talk to me and is with someone else.

  Chapter Seventy-Three

  An arm crashes across my shoulder with a loud thud, and landing draped across my chest. My eyes fling open wide, and I look around, frozen in place. I do not recognize the room I'm in at all. Whose arm is this? Oh my God, did I have sex with some random guy from the party last night? I start to panic and think of how the hell I'm going to get off this bed as I continue looking around for clues of who's room this is and where exactly I am.

  I continue to lay frozen, conjuring up a plan of escape. I hear a cough, more like clearing of the throat in a deep grumble. There is definitely a guy next to me. How in the hell did this happen! Was I that drunk to not even remember? The last thing I do remember was calling Luke.

  The guy removes his arm from my shoulder and rolls over, I'm free to get the hell off this bed and out of wherever I am. I'm incredibly close to the edge, so I ever so slowly inch my body, stopping every movement I make to listen for the person next to me. He's now letting out a light snore, so I continue my quest to get off the bed. I fall off the bed while trying to be as quiet as I can. I land on the floor in a bear stance with a semi-quiet thud. I grimace as I freeze again and close my eyes. The dude is still snoring, so I open my eyes and notice that I'm fully clothed. A sigh of relief washes over my body, knowing I didn't have sex with anyone last night.

  I rise to my feet against the wall, in stealth mode. The guy's back is toward me, so I tiptoe around the bed toward the door. I notice my small brown leather crossbody purse that only fits my phone and a few credit cards, is lying on the floor; I grab it and reach for the door handle. I close my eyes as I slowly turn the knob. I hear a faint moan, I freeze, and my eyes go wide. It's a female moan. What in the fuck? I take a deep breath, quietly release it, then calmly look back over my shoulder toward the bed. On it, I see Jason and some random chick that I don't recognize at all. Thankfully, his naked body is partly covered, but she's spread eagle, five-star positioned across the bed. Tits and lady bits are just hanging there, airing out, I suppose.

  I giggle, and quickly but quietly let myself out. I cup my hands to my mouth in the open area outside the bedroom and let out an almost full-blown laugh at the sight I just saw. After I collect myself, I look around to notice that I'm in the basement. Jason's room must be the only one down here.

  The light of the morning or afternoon sun, whichever it may be, shines through the windows and shows a living room type area. A huge flat-screen TV and a large leather sectional sofa take up most of the space here.
A few gun racks on the wall, baseball bats and hockey sticks piled in one corner, and a bookshelf thing full of DVDs and Blu-ray discs in the other. Just off the staircase is a small laundry room-not a bad set up for a dude.

  I head upstairs into the actual living room. A smaller flat screen is resting above the fireplace, two couches plus a recliner display at random in the space. The one couch must pull out into a bed because Bridget and a guy I recognize from my dad's shop are canoodling upon it. Man, she sure gets around. A guy is sprawled out on the other couch, and Nikki is in the chair. I make my way to the door and let myself out.

  The sun is just about overhead, so it must be damn near noon. The fire pit is still smoldering some from last night, but I don't remember Jason having ever lit it. I come to the edge of the house and step onto the driveway. I begin walking down it toward the garage. I peer in the opposite direction toward where the pole barn is and forgot that I went there last night looking for Luke while hammered. He wasn't there, and when I called him, some woman answered his phone.

  I continue past the garage and down the driveway toward my car, thinking about my call to Luke last night. Who was the woman who answered his phone, and where is he? I wipe under my eyes as I'm sure my makeup looks ratchet from all the crying last night. My fingers have black streaks on them when I return them from my face. I pull my phone out, but of course, it's completely dead, so I put it back in my purse. I reach my car, fumbling for my keys. I hear a low growl from the exhaust of a car, and my body flows with tingly butterflies in the hopes that it's Luke driving down the driveway in his Charger.

  A car appears, but it's not Luke. I give the guy in the newer Chevy truck a half-hearted smile then get into my vehicle. I sit there for a moment staring off into space. I burst into tears and lay my head on my steering wheel. I let out a sigh and start my car.