by Force, Marie
“I’m not a stranger. Not anymore. I’m a friend, and I’m glad you finally told someone. What he did to you, Emma… It was a crime. You know that, right?”
Nodding, she said, “I’ve had counseling, and I’ve come to terms with what happened that night. As much as one ever accepts such things.”
“And he doesn’t know about her?”
She shook her head. “I’ve never seen him again, thank God. I used to be so afraid of him coming back and doing the math… But she looks nothing like him, and she’s always looked young for her age. There would be no reason for him to suspect she’s his.”
If he were thinking like a lawyer, Grayson might have something to say to that. But he was thinking as a man who’d been profoundly moved by a woman for the first time in his thirty-six years. “You’re amazing.”
“Don’t say that. I did what any mother would’ve done to protect her child.”
“At tremendous personal expense.”
“The payoff has been the most wonderful little girl that anyone could hope for. I’ll never regret a thing because I have her.”
“She’s very lucky to have you, too.”
“We’re both lucky. We’ve made a nice life for ourselves, and I never think about this stuff anymore.”
Grayson didn’t know if he totally believed that, but he wasn’t about to question her. “You must be beating the men away with a stick.”
“Right,” she said, laughing. “Between work and homework and dance class and birthday parties and soccer, I’m a regular dating machine.”
“So there’s no one special in your life?”
“Just Simone, my dad, Lucy, Colton and a few very good friends, including Cameron.”
“Do you ever want more for yourself?”
She shrugged. “I’ve learned to be very satisfied and thankful for what I have.”
“I want to see you again, Emma. I want to spend more time together.” The words were out of his mouth before he decided to say them, because the thought of her getting away, of never seeing her or Simone again except at family events, was unacceptable to him. Here he’d just taken steps to simplify his life, and one night with her had made everything complicated again. And that was fine with him.
“Oh, um, you do?”
“I really do. I haven’t talked to a woman the way I’ve talked to you tonight in, well, ever. I don’t want to stop talking to you, even though I should let you get to bed so you’re not exhausted tomorrow. Something tells me Miss Simone won’t be too forgiving of an exhausted mother.”
“You’re right. She’ll take full advantage. But I’m not quite ready to go to bed just yet.”
“No?”
She shook her head as she returned his gaze, never blinking as they drank each other in. Once again, Grayson acted before thinking, leaning in to kiss her. He was careful not to move too fast or take too much, but he couldn’t let this night end without tasting her. As soon as he processed that first taste, he knew it wasn’t going to be anywhere near enough.
The slight mewling sound that came from her throat made him instantly hard. He drew back to look at her, slightly stunned by his reaction. Her eyes were closed, her lips parted and damp. He dragged his fingertip over her bottom lip.
“You’re beautiful, Emma.”
Her eyes opened slowly, and she took a long look at him, as if trying to gauge his sincerity. He’d never been more sincere.
“How long are you here?” he asked.
She cleared her throat. “Molly invited us to spend the week since Simone is on vacation.”
“Could Lucy watch Simone so I could take you to dinner tomorrow night?”
“I… I think they’d both love that.”
“How about you? Would you love it if Simone went with Lucy so you can go out with me?”
“Yes, Grayson, I believe I’d love that, too.”
* * *
Chapter 1
I love you the more in that I believe
you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else.
—John Keats
How was it possible to forget to breathe? Emma was going to pass out if she didn’t remember to breathe. All day, she’d relived the magical few hours in the Abbotts’ den, sitting by the fire sharing confidences with the supremely handsome, sexy and successful Grayson Coleman.
Emma had told him things she’d never told another living soul, even Lucy, her sister and closest confidant. Waiting for the clock to move forward today, Emma had expected to feel regrets, recriminations or something negative for spilling the biggest secret of her life, a nearly ten-year-old secret that involved the most precious person in the world—her daughter, Simone.
Something about the way Grayson had paid such close attention to her, listening to every word she said as if they were the most important words he’d ever heard, had her telling him things she never talked about—and rarely thought about anymore. It had been such a long time ago, and Emma was a big believer in looking ahead rather than back. Nothing good ever came from looking back.
The Abbotts had graciously invited her and Simone to spend the week with them so they could attend Hunter and Megan’s wedding and then have Christmas with Lucy and her fiancé, Colton, in Vermont. And what an incredible visit it had been so far, complete with sledding and snowman building and even a ride for Simone on the back of Lucas Abbott’s snowmobile.
Her daughter would talk about this week for months.
Simone was spending today and tonight with Colton and Lucy at their home on the mountain. She was so excited to have alone time with Auntie Lu and Uncle Colton and their dogs, Sarah and Elmer. When she left with Lucy earlier, Emma heard her asking if they might see Fred the moose, and Lucy said you never knew when he might come by for a visit.
Emma had felt sort of aimless as she whiled away an unusually quiet afternoon at the Abbotts’ lovely restored barn. Her dad had driven home to New York that morning, Lincoln Abbott was in town at a lunch meeting, and his wife, Molly, was at their daughter Hannah’s.
Emma finally settled on the same sofa where she’d sat with Grayson last night and tried to lose herself in a book she’d been enjoying. But her mind kept wandering to silly things—like the way the fire had turned his dark blond hair to a burnished gold, the twinkle in his eyes when he was amused, the furrow of his brow when he was concentrating or listening to her, and how he’d shown just the right amount of empathy and outrage when she told him about how Simone’s father had attacked her at the end of their relationship.
Grayson was now the only other person on earth who knew Simone had come from a violent attack. She hadn’t even told the therapist who’d counseled her afterward about the baby. Perhaps she should regret having shared something so deeply personal with someone she’d only just met, but they’d been wrapped up in a bubble all their own, sharing confidences, and she didn’t regret telling him.
She’d learned how he had been forced to step up for his seven younger siblings when he was sixteen, after their father left, but he spoke of his brothers and sisters only with love and affection. None of the burden he must’ve felt at having so much responsibility at such a young age was apparent in the way he talked about them.
She’d never been as intrigued by a man as she was by him, thus the breathing trouble. And after he asked her to have dinner with him tonight, she’d been left breathless, winded—and nervous. Really, really nervous. She hadn’t been out on a proper date in, well… years. Unless she counted her good friend Troy Kennedy, who’d been her plus one in the city while she served as his. But Troy didn’t count. There’d never been anything other than platonic friendship between them, despite the desire of Lucy and their friend Cameron Abbott to see them together.
It wasn’t happening with Troy, but something had definitely happened last night with Grayson.
Emma touched her fingers to her lips, reliving the soft, sweet kiss he’d given her before suggesting they call it a night. If it’d been up to her, he�
�d still be here and they’d still be talking—and maybe kissing, too.
She’d been so wrapped up in taking care of Simone, working and handling all the parenting and household duties alone that there hadn’t been anyone serious since her relationship with Simone’s father ended in spectacular—and violent—fashion.
“Don’t think about that,” she whispered. “Not today when you have a handsome guy taking you out for dinner.” Her mind wandered once again to that fleeting kiss and how it had made her yearn for so much more. Another of her deep, dark secrets was one she hadn’t told Grayson. She hadn’t had sex since the night she conceived Simone.
“Ugh.” She dropped her head into her hands, disgusted with herself for hiding behind the cloak of motherhood as an excuse to keep her distance from men. One year had become two, and two became three, and three had become a decade while she was busy raising her daughter, who would be ten in February.
She hadn’t planned to put her own life on hold when she had Simone. It had just worked out that way. A single mother of a young child didn’t spend her evenings out at bars or clubs or any of the other places women her age met men.
After her sister finally accepted that Emma was never going to think of Troy in a romantic way, Lucy had urged her to try online dating. But there was something so inherently frightening about the anonymity of the Internet, especially living as she did in New York City. She had a child to think about, so even if the idea of meeting a guy interested her, online dating did not.
Grayson Coleman interested her.
George and Ringo jumped up from their dog beds by the fire and bolted for the kitchen. Emma heard Molly talking to the dogs, who barked happily at the return of their loved one. Molly came to find Emma a few minutes later.
“Hi there.”
“Hey. How’s Hannah?”
“Feeling ungainly, but that’s pregnancy for you.”
“I remember that stage. I could’ve been one of the hot-air balloons in the Thanksgiving parade.”
Molly laughed and threw some wood on the fire before taking a seat in an easy chair. She put her feet up on the ottoman. The woman was a dynamo. She’d given birth to ten children, but you’d never know it to look at her slender frame and unlined face. The only sign of her age was the mane of gorgeous gray hair that she wore mostly in a braid, but even that did nothing to detract from her otherwise youthful appearance.
“I love the day after Christmas. Back when the kids were little, I used to take to my bed for the entire day, and one of Linc’s gifts to me was handling child care while I lolled about, being lazy.”
“That’s a brilliant idea.”
“I thought so, too, and the best part? Linc bowed down to me, every year, after one day alone with the hellions.”
Emma laughed at the picture she painted of ten unruly kids running roughshod over their dear old dad.
“Christmas is one heck of a production for the moms,” Molly said. “Still is, and my kids are all grown. But I do love having the whole family here—the noise, the presents, the bickering, the chaos. And I love today when they all go home and leave me to my wallowing.”
“Sorry to intrude on your peace and quiet.”
“Oh please! You’re no trouble at all, and Linc and I are in love with Simone. We want you to come back every year.”
“That’d be lovely. Christmas in Vermont is my new favorite thing.”
“I’m so happy to hear that. Look at this big empty barn we’re rattling around in. We’ve got plenty of room, and we’d love to have you.”
“Simone would never speak to me again if I didn’t say we’d love to.”
“Then it’s settled. Please think of our home as your home, Emma. You and Simone and your dad are family to us now that Lucy and Colton are engaged. There’ll never be a time when you won’t be welcome here.”
“That’s so nice of you. Thank you.”
“Linc and I are going to our favorite Italian place in St. Johnsbury tonight if you’d like to come along.”
“Oh, um…” She and Grayson hadn’t spoken about what, if anything, they would tell other people about their plans for the evening. Would he not want her to tell his aunt they were going out? She made a split-second decision. “Thanks for the invite, but I’m going to stick around here tonight and take advantage of my night off.”
“I don’t blame you at all. There’s a huge tub in our room that you’re welcome to if you’d like to take a bath.”
“That sounds great.”
“Go ahead. Indulge. I’m going to sit right here and have a little nap until Linc gets home. Enjoy.”
“You, too.”
“Oh, I will.”
As she went upstairs, Emma decided she wanted to be Molly Abbott when she grew up. What an amazing woman—and mother. Her kids were all great people, even the mischievous identical twins, Lucas and Landon, who’d flirted shamelessly with Emma at Will and Hunter’s weddings until Colton told them to back off or deal with him—and his ax. They were adorable and hilarious, but far too young for her. Their attention, however, had not been unwelcome. It had served as a reminder that despite how she felt sometimes, she was still only twenty-nine, not sixty.
Molly had handled a wedding in her living room five days before Christmas and a mob scene for the holiday with nothing but grace and humor and mad skill that had left Emma dazzled. It was official. Emma had a full-fledged girl crush on the woman, and being invited back for next year was the second-best thing to happen this week.
* * *
By the time Grayson drove to his aunt’s house to pick up Emma, he’d already had a full day. His cousin Ella had taken him to see the apartment she’d recently vacated, and he’d immediately snapped it up, along with the bed and sofa she’d given him. She was moving in with her fiancé, Gavin, and didn’t need either item. Grayson was happy to check three things off his to-do list. She’d even suggested turning over her landline number to him. He hadn’t had a landline in Boston in years, but in Butler, Vermont, the place where cell service was nonexistent, it was a necessity.
Even though he’d been busy apartment hunting, shoveling snow and doing odd jobs around his mother’s house, Grayson had kept a close eye on the clock, which seemed to move in reverse today.
Emma.
His first thought that morning had been of her, of the secrets they’d shared, the stories they’d told and the spark that had burned so brightly between them. That spark had him more intrigued than he’d ever been by a woman. Sure, he’d heard about the spark and had even seen it happen to some of his cousins and friends, but it had never happened to him, until Emma.
And Simone… For it was not possible to consider one without the other. He already knew Emma well enough to understand that there would be no such thing as a relationship that included only her. For a guy who’d never had the urge for a family because he’d already helped to raise his younger siblings, it surprised him to realize he was glad the adorable, smart, funny, sweet, respectful Simone was part of the package.
Pulling up to the big red barn his aunt and uncle called home, Grayson cut the engine in his Audi SUV but left the headlights on so he could get to the door without falling on the ice. His uncle’s Range Rover was gone, so they must’ve been out for their usual Friday night dinner. He was secretly glad that he wouldn’t encounter his beloved aunt and uncle when he picked up Emma.
Grayson was nervous enough without adding a family inquisition to the agenda for the evening—and it would be an inquisition with his uncle Linc involved. Serving as a surrogate dad to the fatherless Colemans, Linc was always interested in whatever they were up to. Normally, Grayson welcomed his uncle’s interest. Tonight, he was grateful for a little privacy. The light over the back door helped to guide him as he made his way, carefully, to the door.
He let himself in and greeted George and Ringo, who gave him a thorough sniffing before allowing him to proceed into the mudroom, as if to say, He’s one of us. This had been his second home
growing up, and he felt every bit at home here as he did at his own mother’s house.
“Hello?”
“Hi there,” Emma called from upstairs. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
“Take your time.” As Grayson leaned against the counter in his aunt’s tidy kitchen, he thought about his last first date, his good mood souring at the memories of his ex-girlfriend, Heather. He’d been so blown away by her beauty and captivated by her charm as well as the best sex of his life that he hadn’t realized she was actually a stone-cold bitch until he’d already been completely sucked into her web. Extricating himself had been nasty, and he hadn’t been with anyone in the year since he ended it with her.
Hearing Emma’s footsteps on the stairs, he shook off those memories to put himself in the right frame of mind to spend this evening with her. It was high time he got back to the land of the living after the debacle with Heather.
Emma came into the room, and Grayson could only stare at how lovely she looked in a simple black turtleneck sweater that she’d paired with sexy jeans and boots. Her hair was down around her shoulders, and she’d done something to her big blue eyes with makeup that made them stand out. “You said casual, right?”
“I did, and you look great.”
“So do you,” she said with a shy smile.
He liked that she was shy, that she hadn’t dated in years, that nothing about her was fake or fabricated. And he really liked when the spark of attraction from last night flared between them once again, still vibrant and vivid after they’d both had a day to reconsider. He hadn’t changed his mind, and judging from the way she looked at him, she hadn’t either.