by Ella Miles
I wait for Zeke to make his decision. And the two choices flash before his eyes as well. He licks his lips, and I know what he’s going to choose—sin. Even if it gets us both killed.
“Beckett’s dead,” he answers, surprising us both. He decides to give me what I need in order to tell Julian the truth, whether it is actually the truth or not.
28
Zeke
We left Nora at the airport. She said she was meeting a friend in the Bahamas, but would check in on Siren soon. Siren and I headed straight to Julian’s, both wanting credit for the first sin being over with.
We walk up the driveway to Julian’s house. Siren doesn’t bother knocking; she just walks in like this is her home. I guess it sort of is.
I follow behind. Siren seems to know exactly where Julian is, so I let her lead me through the house to a study. She’s right, Julian is sitting in a lounge chair with a cigar in his mouth.
“I expected that task to be completed faster,” Julian says with a grin.
We both ignore his remarks. Siren walks over to the bar cart in the corner and pours herself a drink. I decide to stay sober until I can celebrate my victory.
I take a seat in the remaining chair, and Siren leans against the wall with her drink in her hand.
“Is the job done?” Julian asks me.
“Yes. We found Eli Beckett.”
Julian nods for me to continue as he puffs on his cigar.
“We found out he works for Mr. Black.”
Julian grins, and I realize he already knew who Beckett worked for. This was a test to see what I would do.
“And we killed him,” I finish.
Julian’s eyebrows go up in surprise. It’s then I realize the sins he will have me complete will be as devastating as the truths he wants me to spill. This time I got away easy. But next time? It could be a choice between killing two people I love, either physically or by spilling a truth.
“Interesting,” Julian says, studying me closely, trying to determine if I’m telling the truth or lying. But then he turns his attention to Siren, not caring about my answer at all. He only cares about Siren’s.
That’s why he sent her with me—not to babysit. He knows I won’t run as long as he threatens the lives of the people I love. He needs Siren to report to him if I completed the tasks or not. Because Siren can’t lie, I can. And Julian knows that.
“Is Beckett dead?” Julian asks Siren.
Siren has been ignoring us so far, staring down at her drink. I have no idea what her answer will be. All I know is that to her, it will be the truth. But does she think Beckett is alive or dead? Or will she finally learn how to lie?
Her eyes flick up, somehow meeting both Julian’s and my gaze at the same time.
“Yes, Eli Beckett is dead,” she answers.
Julian grins. “Excellent.” And then he turns to me. “Well done. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“What’s next?” I ask, anxious to get the five sins over with.
He puffs his cigar again. “Patience. I’ll have a new game for you soon.”
I stare at Julian in frustration. I want these stupid games of his over so I can go. But I also want to put off the next round as long as possible, because I’m not ready to go through that all over again so soon.
I stand up and leave, not sure if Siren is staying or coming. When I arrive at the truck, she hops into the passenger seat.
I drive us the minute up to my house and then kill the engine.
“Did you lie back there? To Julian?” I ask.
She opens her door, ignoring me. I follow, stomping after her into the house.
“Did you lie back there?” I ask again when we are both inside the house.
She spins around on her heels. “No, I told the truth as I know it.”
I freeze. She truly thinks Beckett is dead. Or at least my lie let her believe that.
“I want you out of my house. I can’t trust you,” I say.
“It’s really not up to you.”
“You killed Beckett! A man who is on my side. A man who is loyal to my boss, to my friends.”
She steps into my space. “No, I gave him a chance to live. A chance to save himself. If he’s alive, it’s because of me.” She turns to walk away. But I grab her arm; she doesn’t get to give a comment like that and then run off.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing, I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Siren, tell me.”
“I warned him, okay? I warned him before the explosion happened.”
Beckett didn’t tell me the truth. He was just trying to convince me she isn’t on our side. But what if she is?
It doesn’t matter if she is or isn’t, I still feel myself falling for her a little in this moment. A woman who is always selfish, always looking out for herself, did something to save a man she didn’t even know when it could have cost her everything.
I want to tell her thank you for saving Beckett. For letting him live and making sure she only knew enough to be able to tell Julian she believes Beckett to be dead. But I can’t thank her without telling her the truth that Beckett is alive, which would change her answer if Julian asks her again.
Instead, I do the only thing I can do. I fucking kiss her, giving her the biggest thank you I can offer without saying any words.
The kiss is more like a collision. We both need this kiss, while not wanting to admit it to the other. But as soon as our tongues meld, we lose all pretense of hating each other. My hand fists her hair; hers cling to my neck. Our bodies press together, and our tongues beg to move deeper into each other’s mouths.
Siren claws at my shirt, and she shoves it up, needing to feel my chest. I stop the kiss long enough for her to get my shirt off. Then my lips cling to hers again, swearing silently that I will never let them go again.
I grab her shirt and pull it up before I realize I’ll have to break the kiss again to remove her shirt.
I growl as I do.
This time, the moment our lips are apart is enough to remind me I don’t just want to fuck her. I want answers. I need answers. I need to know whose side she is on. It’s the only way to guard my heart. Even as it’s already falling.
“Truth or sin?” I start.
“No.” She grabs my neck and kisses me again. “We already played today.”
She unhooks her bra as she continues to kiss me over my lips, then my jawline, then neck. It feels incredible, but it’s not enough to fully distract me. Even when I take her breasts in my hands and hear her moans caress me.
“What is the vow you made to Julian?” I ask her.
She steps back. “I said not tonight.”
I step forward. “I need the truth. I need to know whose side you are on. I need to know what keeps you from fighting back against Julian. What makes you save me?”
She opens her mouth, but I know it’s to argue back, so I shut her up with a fierce kiss, slamming her into a wall of the hallway.
She shoves me back, refusing to let me deepen the kiss.
“Are you married to Julian?”
Her face falls, and I can’t tell if it’s truth or anger.
A buzz in her pocket breaks the moment.
“Don’t answer it.”
“I have to. It could be Julian.” She grabs the phone from her pocket and answers. “Yes?”
I watch her eyes widen in fear, I watch the pulse in her neck speed, and her breath catch.
“I’ll be right there,” she finally says before ending the call.
I step in front of her. “You aren’t going anywhere. Not without answering me.”
“Let me go, Zeke.”
“You aren’t running to Julian because he called. Not without answering my questions first.”
It’s only then that I see the tears in her eyes. The way her hands tremble at her sides. She’s scared to death. And I feel like a monster for blocking her path. Is she afraid Julian will punish her if she doesn’t get to him
quickly?
“I’ll answer any damn question you have, but you have to let me go, now.”
I pull my keys from my pocket and toss them to her. “Fine, but I’m going with you.”
She nods, running toward my truck, picking up her trail of clothes along the way. I jump into the passenger seat, assuming we are headed to Julian’s, but when we drive past his house, I’m utterly confused.
29
Siren
I squeeze the steering wheel in a death grip as I drive down the road. Maybe I should have had Zeke drive? I’m too distracted. But I figure even my distracted driving is better than Zeke’s best driving.
My thoughts are taken over by the phone call. I still can’t believe what happened or that I feel it this harshly.
Julian always talks about there being consequences to my actions. If I break my vow, I will pay. But it’s been years since he had to inflict any real consequence on me. And he’s never inflicted a punishment this bad.
Bu then, I’ve never done anything this bad. I’ve never threatened Julian. Never hit him, never hurt him. I knew the moment I did that I crossed a line. And that eventually, Julian would make me pay for it.
I just thought him carving up my neck was the end of my retribution, that he had moved passed it.
Now I know he didn’t.
But still, I didn’t think it would torture this much. What Julian did shouldn’t hurt me. It shouldn’t affect me at all. But of course, it did. I’m human, after all. And you can’t just turn off feelings, even if those emotions should be long gone.
Zeke studies me for a long time as I drive. He’s still shirtless, but at least he’s gripping his shirt in his hands so he can get dressed when we arrive.
I threw my shirt on in haste and didn’t even bother to put my bra back on. I’m sure Zeke can see my nipples still hard beneath my shirt.
Zeke’s hand reaches out, flicking on the radio. I don’t pay him any attention. I’m surprised he turned the radio on at all. He usually prefers the silence.
But then I hear him sing. It’s horrible. His voice is way off-key.
I bite back a smile. “Your voice is horrible.”
“Well, sorry we can’t all be pros like you.”
He continues singing, and my smile brightens, the ache in my chest getting just bearable enough for me to drive.
And then I find myself humming along to the song too. My right hand loosens on the steering wheel, falling to the side. Our hands find each other. And when Zeke’s fingers lock with mine, I feel him take on some of my pain, even though he doesn’t know why I’m in such a state.
He doesn’t know any of the words, but he keeps singing along. I finally join him when it returns to the chorus of a new Miley Cyrus song I’ve never heard before. But it feels fitting. The song talks about telling a guy to slide away back to the ocean. And it’s the exact words I want to repeat to too many men in my life—all for very different reasons.
30
Zeke
Siren stops the car in front of the hospital.
My heart stops.
“Nora?” I ask, assuming she got into an accident. It’s the only person I know of in Siren’s life that would cause the pain I feel drumming through her body.
She shakes her head. And I exhale in relief for myself and Siren.
“A family member?” I ask, realizing I don’t know any of Siren’s family, or if any of them are alive.
“No.”
She steps out of the truck, and I follow.
I link our fingers again as we walk inside, ready to face whatever heartbreak awaits us as a team.
Siren takes a deep breath and then walks up to the front desk with me still holding onto her. I grip her hand in comfort as much as for me as for her.
“I’m here to see Hugo Martinez.”
I frown. Martinez? That’s her last name. But I thought she said it wasn’t a family member?
The nurse smiles sadly at the mention of the man’s name. He must be in critical condition for her to give us that sort of response. “Are you a family member?”
My eyes go to Siren’s, not sure how she’s going to respond. She can’t lie, and I’m sure only family members will be allowed to see him.
She closes her eyes for a second, as if this entire situation is painful.
I give her hand a tight squeeze, reassuring her. Even if the nurse won’t let us back because we aren’t immediate family, I will find a way for her to see Hugo if he means so much to her.
Siren opens her eyes, ignoring me, and says, “I’m his wife.”
I forget everything after those words. I forget the look on Siren’s face. I forget what the nurse said. I forget how it felt when Siren slipped out of my hand and walked away without me, leaving me rooted to my spot in the waiting room.
And now, I have no idea how long I’ve been standing here, just that I have been waiting. Waiting to understand how it’s possible. Waiting to find out what this means. Why this man, who Siren says is her husband, in the hospital? Why?
I pace while I wait, coming up with a hundred different answers, and none of them make sense in my head.
Until I see her—Siren Aria Torres Martinez. So many names and none of them make sense to me.
“How is your dear hubby?” I ask, not hiding the anger in my voice now that she’s returned to the waiting room.
She holds out a styrofoam cup of coffee to me. “I got you this.”
I laugh. “Is that supposed to make up for you lying to me?”
“I didn’t lie.”
“Really? Because I seem to remember you saying you weren’t married.”
She takes a step toward me. “I never said I wasn’t married. I held up my ringless finger and implied it. But I never said I wasn’t.”
She’s right, of course. She never actually said she wasn’t married.
I run my hand through my hair as I finally sink into a chair. “Is he going to be okay?”
She sits next to me, still gripping the cup of coffee. “I think so. He’s in critical condition after a car accident.”
My anger takes hold of me again, and I stand up suddenly. “You’re married, and you still fucked me!”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It sure as hell is that simple to me! You are married! You’re a cheating whore!”
She stands up. “Call me whatever will make you feel better, but it’s not true. Being married is more than just a signature on a legal piece of paper.”
“So, you don’t love Hugo Martinez?”
She doesn’t answer. Because she loves him.
I slump back into the chair. “Explain. Now.”
“I met Hugo when I was eighteen. He saved my life. Saved me from going down a path where I would have ended up dead in a ditch somewhere. We fell in love and got married.
“A few years later, Hugo needed saving. And it was my turn to save him. He got mixed up with a drug lord. He owed him a lot of money that he could never pay back.
“I tried everything. I gave the drug lord all the money I had. I sold every possession I owned. It wasn’t enough. I even offered my body to him, but he would only take money. So I snuck into Julian Reed’s house to try to steal something I could sell. He caught me and offered me a deal.”
She takes a deep breath, and I’m entranced by her strength even if I hate her right now.
“So, I made a vow to Julian to save Hugo’s life.”
I narrow my eyes.
“Julian paid the drug lord and freed Hugo. I paid Julian back with the only thing he wanted—my loyalty. I vowed to work for him for ten years. To never lay a hand on Julian. To never disobey him. To follow his orders. And for the last seven years, I’ve been doing just that. But then I threatened Julian, so he arranged a car accident to show me what happens when I break my vow to him.”
There’s more. As painful as her story already is, I know there is more.
“I made a vow to two men. I vowed ten years of service to J
ulian. And I vowed my heart to Hugo. But Hugo betrayed me. We’ve been separated since, but never got around to filing for divorce.”
“It’s why you don’t like people saving you; you don’t like owing others anything. They can’t betray you that way.”
She nods. “Yes. I’ve been branded by three men. Saved and protected by all. But in the end, they all eventually hurt me.”
Except me, I haven’t yet. But I’m about to.
“Do you still love Hugo? Even though he hurt you? Even though you are no longer faithful to that marriage?”
She stares down at the cup. “I shouldn’t. He doesn’t love me. But I’m not sure you just let go of love like that. I wish I could because then maybe I could end my vow to Julian. Even though Hugo betrayed me, I’m still loyal to Julian. I still do everything to keep Hugo safe and protected. I can’t let Julian hurt him. If you call that love, then that is what it is. But it feels like Hugo stole a piece of my heart I don’t know how to get back.”
I understand the feeling. Because right now, as much as I hate Siren, she stole a piece of my heart. Even now, watching her in pain, I feel myself falling for her again. But she’s not mine to fall for. She never will be. She’ll always choose Hugo or Julian. She doesn’t have a choice. And if she ever gets free of those two men, she has no reason to fall for me. She will protect her heart no matter what—it’s already cost her too much.
I stand up, knowing where Siren stands in my heart, but not being able to accept it.
“Zeke,” she starts, but she never finishes her sentence.
“It’s my turn to make a vow.”
She sits up taller, and I can see fear in her eyes as she waits.
“I vow to never save you again, Siren. From now on, I’m only saving myself.”
And then I turn and walk away, intending to be true to my word.
But is it too late to keep that vow when my heart is already falling?
The End
* * *
Thank you so much for reading! Zeke and Siren’s story continues in Reckless Fall #3