The Realm

by Leigh Walker

  Elsa tilted her head and whined.

  “Oh don’t worry. You know me—I’ll be fine.”

  But I was anything but fine as the day crawled on, minutes ticking past, with me surrounded by the other girls. Everyone wanted to know how my date had gone, but I refused to kiss and tell. “Wait until we watch the episode tomorrow night,” I told them. “Then we can compare notes.”

  First the morning came and went, then the afternoon, without a glimpse of Rhys. The other contestants and I had lessons, we had lunch, then we took a walk around the grounds to take some fresh air. There was no sign of His Highness. Finally, it was time for dinner. Dae left for her date, and the other girls discussed the contest over our meal.

  “I heard from my maid that Dae was saved for last because His Highness is intrigued by her.” Thalia speared a stalk of asparagus and pointed it at us. “I wouldn’t be surprised by that at all. She’s got a very unique sense of style, and she’s from a poorer settlement. She’s had to fight for everything she has, and my bet is His Highness admires that. He needs someone who can rule by his side who’s strong and capable. I daresay Dae has those qualities.”

  “Based on what qualifications?” Maya scowled at Thalia. “She’s never fought for anything except for a scrap of food around her family’s dinner table. And her sense of style—what’s that got to do with anything? Mira put her in an unconventional dress. So what?”

  “I’m just saying, I think that she and the king might have a lot in common. And I know how much she wants this.” Thalia shrugged.

  “If I were you, I’d worry about yourself. Mira said it best—you and Rhys have no chemistry.” Maya’s eyes flashed. “What are you doing, rooting for Dae? Does that mean you’ve already given up?”

  Thalia put down her fork. “Of course I haven’t given up. But yes, I am also rooting for Dae. I would like to see her happy and settled, just as I would like that for most of you.”

  “I’m sure I’m not included in those well wishes, but it doesn’t bother me in the least.” Maya tossed her hair, and I fought the urge to yank it. “I don’t need anyone’s help—I’m already the front-runner, if I do say so myself.”

  I cleared my throat. “If I do say so myself, you are a big windbag of a prat.”

  “Ah, she speaks!” Maya’s eyes glittered. “You know, I thought you were going to be such fun, Tamara, but you’ve only been a doormat in this competition. It’s no wonder His Highness has lost all interest in you.”

  “Who says he has?” I tossed my own hair for good measure. “He seemed pretty interested in me last night.”

  “Ah, so you say. But I have it on good authority from the kitchen staff that your date was so boring Mira had to cut production midscene.” Maya looked delightedly primed for a fight. “Do you deny it?”

  “It’s true that Mira stopped us midscene. But our date was anything but boring. You can ask Rhys himself or wait until you watch the tape, but in either case, you should shut your mouth—quit while you’re ahead, if you catch my meaning. It’ll be much less humiliating for you in the long run.” I stood. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have much more important things to do than waste my precious time and energy on a middle-class climber from Settlement 8. Thalia and Joely, have a lovely evening. Maya, enjoy playing with your hair and being a pain.” With that, I stalked off.

  Maya was a mere nuisance, but I was still agitated from our encounter. I headed to my room, deciding to take the gnomes out for one last walk before it got too dark outside. I gathered them into my tote and headed down the back staircase that Rhys had shown me before. I didn’t want to run into the other girls or anyone related to the production. I needed peace and quiet to clear my head.

  I’d expected the stairwell to be deserted. Instead, I heard people talking in hushed tones.

  “I’d like to know where I stand with you,” said a voice I immediately recognized. Rhys. “The other girls have been forthcoming about their intentions, at least for the most part. But I have no idea about you.”

  Careful to stay in the shadows, I peered down the stairwell. Mira and the production crew were set up on the landing. They stayed close to the wall as they filmed a scene under the torchlight. I crept closer in order to get a better look, praying that neither Elsa nor Beast growled or whined.

  Tucked almost from view in the corner of the stairwell, Dae and Rhys faced each other. He stood with his back against the wall as she paced, her low-cut red gown sweeping the floor.

  “Your Highness, I don’t know what to say.” Dae sounded agitated. “The other girls—particularly Maya—keep telling me that you’re kissing them, saying that they’re the one. How am I supposed to relax around you and get to know you better if that’s the case? Out of all the girls, I have the last one-on-one date. I’ve heard all about what you’ve been doing with the other contestants. How can I think you have any sincere affection left over for me?”

  “This is the opportunity for us to get to know each other.” Rhys tilted his chin. “You have to give me—us—a chance.”

  “I want to, but… I’m not a fake person, Your Highness. I don’t want to pretend, and I certainly don’t want you to pretend to have feelings for me if you don’t.”

  “I am trying to get to know each of you.” Rhys watched her as she fidgeted. “That’s my responsibility. But as I have said to you before, it’s not easy for me to read you. I want to know if you’re here because you want to be or if it’s out of some sort of duty to your family.”

  She winced. “Of course I want to help my family. But that’s not why I’m here. But this is borrowed time, and let me tell you, going back home won’t be any picnic. I feel trapped, Your Highness. If I don’t do well, I go home. It’s stressful.”

  “So let me help you. Tell me why you are here.” Rhys’s voice was firm, commanding. “Tell me what you want.”

  Dae stopped pacing and stood before him. “I want you to choose me and for you to forget about the other girls. I want to be your queen, Your Highness. I want to stay here in the Realm—with you, my king.”

  The werewolf nodded. “Then you must trust me and give this some time. I need to believe that you mean it and that you’re here for the right reasons.”

  “You can believe it.” She stood before him, jutting her chin out.

  “Is that so?” Rhys asked coolly.

  “It is, Your Highness.” Dae put her hands on his chest and ran them down his uniform. “Let me show you.”

  I wanted to yell at her to get off, step back, and keep her hands off of him. Instead, I watched, frozen, as she threw her arms around his neck and leaned up, putting her lips to his. I hoped Rhys would be shocked by her boldness. I hoped he wouldn’t reciprocate. Instead, he pulled her close. They kissed and then kissed some more. His hands roamed down her bare, toned back. He grunted. It was a guttural, lusty sound.

  I stood on the stairs, paralyzed, unable to look away. I felt as though I’d been punched in the gut. I wrapped my arms around myself, but it was no comfort. I fought back tears as Dae moaned in pleasure, pressing herself against the werewolf king. I half-worried that they were going to undress each other right there, in the stairwell. I shuddered at the thought, and Elsa whined loudly from inside my tote.

  Oh, crap.

  Panicked, I clutched the bag to my chest. I tore my gaze away from Rhys and Dae’s embrace to find I’d been detected—one of the cameras was already pointed at me, steadily filming. “Stop. Stop it, please.” Tears spilled over as I held up my hand to shield my face. “Don’t you dare put this in the show!” I turned on my heel and ran.

  Commotion broke out on the landing. “What the bloody hell was that? Tamara?” Rhys called.

  But I didn’t answer. I would never, ever speak to him again.

  Technically

  There were people in the hallway outside my bedroom, but I didn’t investigate. It was probably Mira, ready with her cameras and microphone. She’d be eager to discuss my humiliation. They would film my p
uffy eyes and wrecked mascara for the benefit of the ratings.

  If it wasn’t Mira and her crew out there, it was probably Rhys and Dae. Perhaps they were still snogging their faces off. Let them. If he wanted to put his hands on her toned glutes, that was his business. But he was never touching mine again.

  Elsa and Beast perched on the edge of my bed, watching me with their big worried eyes. “I’m fine.” I blew my nose again. “Really, I am. It’s better to know what sort of a beast he really is. What if I’d taken him seriously? What if I’d been convinced he had real feelings for me and I’d stayed because of it?”

  Of course, I was lying to the gnomes. I had believed Rhys had real feelings for me. I’d been confused about the contradictory flurry of my emotions, but after our last date, I hadn’t doubted his. I’d believed he truly cared for me.

  Naive. Irrational. Emotional. These were not words regularly used to describe Tamara Layne, yet they suited my recent behavior perfectly. This was why feelings were dangerous. Mine had made me look like a fool.

  A knock on my door startled me. “Yes?”

  “Lady Layne, may we have a word?” Rhys’s voice was quiet but firm.

  I’d vowed to never speak to him again, but suddenly, my fury overtook my conviction. “Oh yes, we may!” I wiped the smeared makeup from underneath my eyes, got up, and threw open the door. I stood with my hands on my hips, blocking his entrance.

  Rhys leaned against the doorframe, frowning. “Please let me in. I don’t want a public scene.”

  “That’s new for you, isn’t it? I’d say it was quite a scene earlier in the stairwell.”

  He brushed past me and closed the door. “We were filming, Tamara. It was for the show.”

  “Just like our date last night was for the show—although I don’t remember your hands going that aggressively to my backside.”

  He took a deep breath. “I have a clear directive from the crown—I have to seem serious about each girl in the contest. I can’t play favorites. You know that.”

  “You can’t play favorites, but you don’t have to jam your tongue down everyone’s throats, either. I saw you two downstairs—that wasn’t acting. You enjoyed kissing her.”

  He shrugged. “It was not the same as kissing you.”

  “Ha! How am I supposed to ever believe that?”

  “You have to trust me.”

  “I’m sorry, Your Highness, but that seems impossible at the moment.”

  “What do you expect from me, Tamara?” He tilted his chin. “You have given me no answer except for a firm no when I’ve asked you to be my queen. Last night, I asked you again if you could picture yourself here in my kingdom. You responded by telling me that you loved the Realm. Not me. I have made myself vulnerable to you again and again, my lady, yet you risk nothing.”

  “I told you I was jealous that you kissed the other girls. That was difficult for me to admit.”

  “Well, of course it was difficult.” He laughed, but it sounded hollow. “I’ve made this too easy for you. You’re spoiled, my lady. I am sure it makes you uncomfortable to have competition of any sort.”

  “That’s not true. I lost The Pageant, and I did so with a clear conscience. I knew that Prince Dallas loved Gwyn. But this is different. I don’t enjoy having you speak out of two sides of your mouth, Your Highness. You tell me that you have feelings for me, that you rely on me. And then you turn around and put your hands all over Dae within twenty-four hours. It’s difficult to feel special under such circumstances. Especially since I asked you not to kiss the other girls.”

  “Am I to throw away all my chances for you, then?” Rhys’s eyes glittered. “You will not tell me your feelings, but you expect me to wait anyway? An obedient dog, waiting for a treat, like one of your other pets?” Beast and Elsa growled at him. Rhys bit back a curse—or more likely, a responding growl.

  “That’s unfair—except for the part where you referred to yourself as a dog.”

  Rhys shook his head. His hands were clenched into fists.

  I opened the door. “Please go. It’s as I thought from the beginning—we are from two different worlds. You’re angling to hold onto anything in this new kingdom to prove yourself. But I don’t need anyone to validate my worth. I do not need to compete for your affection—I’ll be just fine without it. This was a mistake, Your Highness. We are not a match.”

  “As you wish, my lady.” He stormed out then gave me one last glance. “The others are right about you, you know. You think you’re too good for the rest of us.”

  “I don’t think it—I know it!” I slammed the door and collapsed on my bed. I thought I might weep, but I seethed instead. I was glad for it. Being angry was much better than crying more.

  But after a while, my anger subsided a little. That made me discontented because it gave my mind room to roam. I kept replaying the scene with Rhys and Dae over and over in my mind. It hurt quite badly, but I was unable to stop myself. “I want to be your queen.” That was what she’d said. Then he’d kissed her, and it hadn’t been just any old kiss.

  Of course, he’d kissed Maya, too. And Joely and Thalia…and me. Dae had a good point. How was a girl supposed to feel special when the king was off snogging everyone at every opportunity?

  “I won’t let it happen to me again.” My voice, a croak, startled the gnomes. They whined at me from their little beds. “It’s all right, darlings, go back to sleep.”

  I stared up at the ceiling, still thinking, I won’t let it happen to me again. I imagined seeing Rhys the next day and the day after that. I imagined staying far away from him, never touching him again, never letting him touch me again. It was exactly what I needed to do, exactly what he deserved. I was too good for him.

  I’d entered this contest because King Reginald had left me little room to say no. I was here in my professional capacity, nothing more. But I’d let myself get attached, which was a rookie mistake. I was no rookie. I vowed that from here on out, I would do better.

  I rolled over to my side, hoping the position change would help my perspective. It didn’t. The truth gnawed at me, and I didn’t want to face it. I tried scrunching my eyes shut, but all I could picture was Rhys’s hands on Dae. Ugh, ugh, ugh. There was no sanctuary, no relief from my jealousy. All I could do was ache. I was a prisoner of my feelings, which was wretched.

  Finally, the images of Rhys with the other girl subsided. I pictured him in my room and the dark look on his face when he asked, “Am I to throw away all my chances for you, then?” He’d been so unhappy. And yes, of course I wanted him to throw away all his other chances for me! The way the contest was structured, he had all the power and I had none. I could proclaim myself head over heels in love with him, and he could still send me home after the ball. It could happen to any of us.

  If he cared for me and expected an iota of reciprocity, he needed me to feel secure in the prospect of our relationship. Rhys’s words still stung me. “I have made myself vulnerable to you again and again, my lady, yet you risk nothing.” He had a point there. But I’d been waiting my whole life to find a man who was worthy of my time, dedication, and attention. I couldn’t give these things away freely with no guarantee. That would be madness.

  I’d kissed him. I’d told him I was jealous of the other girls, and I’d asked him to not kiss them. That was as much as I could safely risk without losing the thing I needed most—my dignity. But Rhys had still kissed Dae, although maybe I couldn’t hold that against him. He’d said that he had to seem serious about each girl and not play favorites.

  I knew that, which was why I should never have agreed to be a contestant—because I’d been right, after all. Rhys and I were no match. I wasn’t meant to compete for affection; I was meant to be adored. As Giuliana had said, I was born to wear a crown. I refused to beg, borrow, and fight the other girls for the werewolf’s unwavering attention.

  I rolled over again, refusing to think about it anymore. Now that the anger had burned itself out, sadness tugged a
t my emotions. I refused to give into it, just like I refused to partake in this charade of a competition anymore. Both courses of action were beneath me.

  The gnomes watched me, anxious in their little beds, until I fell into a troubled sleep.

  Headspace

  I started packing the next morning. Unfortunately, I came across the werewolf’s black sweater in my armoire. I held it up and briefly considered tossing it into the fire. But I hesitated, then buried my face in it and inhaled Rhys’s scent. My eyes filled with tears. What am I doing? I hastily packed the sweater up and put it in the bottom of my suitcase. No one would ever know that I’d kept a memento from my time here. I didn’t even have to admit it to myself, not if I didn’t want to.

  Giuliana came in to dress me, and she stopped, horrified. “What on earth are you doing?”

  “Just getting ready to take my leave.” I neatly folded a pair of pale-pink silk pajamas. “Don’t worry, I’m not running off before the coronation ceremony. I’m just preparing. Seeing my room half-packed will be good for me mentally, you know? It will give me some headspace so I’ll be prepared for when the time comes.”

  She shook her head. “You seemed so happy after your date. I don’t understand.”

  “His Highness and I are not suited for each other. It’s taken me some time to come to terms with it, but I don’t expect that he’ll ask me to stay on for the next round of the competition.”

  “This seems abrupt.” Giuliana looked as though she might cry.

  I patted her arm then resumed folding. “Don’t be upset. Sometimes these things just don’t work out.”

  In order to make us both feel better, I let Giuliana choose my gown and do all of my makeup. She worked on my eyes for a good twenty minutes. When she’d finished, no one would have guessed that I’d shed tears the night before. She chose a black dress—perfect for my mood—that had a sheer layer over the top. It sparkled and plunged and was perhaps too much for my daytime activities, but I didn’t want to make her more upset. Plus, I looked good in it. That always helped.