by Katt Briones
Chan and Ate Ania started laughing, but Cholo looked livid.
“Do you think I’m the same age as Risa? What did you go squealing to Lolo for?” Cholo said angrily. Asher glared at him, muttering.
“Cholo,” Ate Ania patiently said. “It’s about time someone called Miki out on her bullshit. We just thought that since Lolo is the only person she ever listens to, maybe it would do her some good to hear what we all want to say straight from him.”
“Yeah. Look, let’s stop arguing about this, all right? It’s not important,” said Chan, who seemed to be in on it. “What matters is that she’s going to keep off you now.”
“Yes, tonight, but what about Vinnie? She’s got an interview with her and Lance next Tuesday! What if Vinnie gets in and—”
“Come on, give your girlfriend some credit,” said Chan, smiling as he put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Cholo scratched his head in frustration. It was funny, watching him not being in charge for once. “You really think she’ll let herself get bullied?”
“What did you tell Lance?”
“Nothing huge, don’t worry. He’s just going to troll her or something. Like what happened earlier—did you notice how she almost cried with the effort of keeping her mouth shut? She obviously couldn’t bully you around Lance since he was acting like a doting father, and he was dragging it on for as long as he could,” Chip said with a naughty glint in his eyes. I got the feeling that he was the wild child among the three siblings. “Well, I guess it’s good to let people owe you sometimes. Nature for some reason makes sure you get it back in full.”
“He must owe you a lot, then?” said Asher.
“Yeah, and you must hate Miki so much,” I quipped. Chan actually laughed out loud beside me while Patsy’s eyes went wide with hardly-suppressed delight.
“You know that one kid in your extended group of cousins whom no one likes? That’s her,” Chip answered. “Must’ve carried over into adulthood. To be completely honest, I feel vindicated. Remember that Magneto action figure I got for Christmas when I was five, Patricia?”
“The one she threw in the Hudson River because you said her Barbie was ugly?” said Patsy, who had a tone of someone exasperated from hearing the story too many times.
“For me, it’s mostly because I don’t like it when someone bullies our bunso,” Chan said, eyes narrowing. “No one calls Cholo those nasty names under my watch.”
“Like you don’t bully me when you’re all home,” Cholo snarled, rolling his eyes. Ate Ania put an arm around him while Chip ruffled his youngest brother’s hair. “See, you’re doing it again! Argh!”
“That’s for not telling me and Chan about your problems,” Chip teased as Cholo struggled. Chan and Asher joined in as I awkwardly watched. Cholo caught my eye, as though asking for help, then remembered we were supposed to be fighting. He looked away before I could say anything.
“Um, they need me at the ticket booth,” I simply said, already starting to feel out of place. They all turned to stare at me. “Nice seeing you all today.”
“So formal naman, Lavinia!” Asher commented, and everyone else in the circle laughed. “I’m going with you. These kids have no tickets yet.”
“I’m going too,” Ate Ania said, and together we set off for the gates.
As I manned the booth and helped with ticket selling, I realized I never fully understood how popular our event was with the college crowd. The line was really long, and we ended up selling tickets until after 11 p.m. We only managed to stop when the others dragged us inside at quarter to midnight for the laser light show.
Upon entering the dark hall, I let my teammates go ahead. I explored the place with narrowed eyes, looking for Cholo’s blue button-down shirt, but it was impossible. With all the laser lights, smoke, and drunk kids on the verge of passing out, it was a wonder I even managed to find the stairs to the makeshift balcony.
It wasn’t as packed as the regular dance floor, but the heels I was wearing made it hard for me to navigate the place. Even climbing the stairs was crazy dangerous—they were too steep. I was just thinking of telling Erika and the team to avoid putting makeshift stages this high to avoid accidents for other parties when I saw him at last.
Cholo was in the middle of the platform, dancing on both left feet. Chan was on his side, but it was Chip who saw me and waved me over.
“Finally!” he teased, patting me on the shoulder. “You’re late. Cholo was just showing us his dance moves.”
“Dance moves?” I repeated incredulously. “Did you guys get him drunk on purpose?”
“He’s been studying his ass off to get medals since age four, I think we can all agree he deserves a break,” Chan replied. Even in the darkness, I noticed how red the three of them were around the ears, so I guessed they all had one too many drinks tonight. “Where are Asher and Ania?”
“Getting more vodka, probably,” Chip replied as his youngest brother swayed and caught his arm.
“Woohoo!” Cholo said suddenly, shaking Chip off. I was worried he might fall over when he resumed his dancing.
I wanted to laugh. Cholo sure was good at a lot of things, but his list did not seem to include dancing. For a moment there, I was tempted to take my phone out and start recording.
“Nakarinig lang ng vodka, oh,” commented Asher. He squeezed over to us (the balcony was getting more crowded as midnight neared) and handed everyone bottles. “That’s just Smirnoff, guys. I suggest we slow down because I don’t want any of you to puke on my new seat covers… wait, shit, I didn’t get Vinnie anything. When did you even get here?”
“That’s fine,” I just said. “I got here just now.”
“Good. We were considering giving him away already-ouch!” he complained, since I gave him an evil pinch on the side of his belly. “Cholo was not kidding about those pinches!”
“Ano, how’s Choleng?” said another person, and I saw Ate Ania reaching a hand over to Chip from our other side. She smiled when she saw me. “There she is! Did she see it na?”
“His dancing?” I asked. “Yeah, it’s pretty horrible.”
“Not that, baliw,” Ate Ania admonished. “Chip, show her.”
“Cholo, we’re going to introduce you to someone,” said Chip, and I was about to protest when Asher signaled me to shut up. “Lika, dali!”
“No! Ano ba, ang kulit n’yo!” said Cholo, swatting at his brother’s hand like a kid who was trying to throw off bullies. “I have a girlfriend!”
My eyes widened and I laughed so hard that Asher had to cover my mouth.
“This one’s so much prettier, Choleng,” Ate Ania goaded straight in his ear, looking at me from head to toe, as though inspecting my outfit. “In uh, fancy heels and a short dress too.”
“Don’t worry. We won’t tell Vinnie,” added Chan.
“She’s also like, nowhere. Probably making googly eyes at boys buying tickets—OW!” shouted Asher, who had to stop after I stepped hard on his foot.
“Look,” Cholo slurred, leaning on Chip again for support.
“I know Vinnie’s a piece of work and we’re not in the best of terms right now—”
“But she hurt you,” Asher cut in to get back at me.
“Yeah, that too, but she’s a good person and she’s not going to do anything like that,” said Cholo, who was swaying more with each second that passed. “We fought, and she already said sorry. We’ll be okay. I love her.”
I smiled so wide I thought my face was going to break. Asher put both hands on his chest and let out a huge ‘Awww’.
“And she’ll kill me if I tried anything,” said Cholo as an afterthought. “But don’t tell her I said that.”
“I really wouldn’t dream of it,” said Chip, and I just shook my head, smiling. “Cheers?”
“Cheers!” said Cholo, lifting a nonexistent bottle, and proceeding to pass out.
We had to leave early for home after that. Chip carried his brother on his back, laughing all the way down the stairs an
d to the parking lot. I had to say a hurried goodbye to our teammates, carrying two backpacks (mine and Cholo’s) as I rushed out towards my boyfriend’s family.
It was definitely not the scenario I had in mind for tonight, but Cholo made it all better.
CHAPTER 24
Three weeks later
I was absolute trash with directions.
Here I was in a foreign land, holding a map, facing a terrain of concrete and suburban houses, not even able to discern which way was north. Most of the signs on the roads and labels on the map were translated in English, but I had no idea of what made Myeongdong different from Insadong, and I was supposed to be in Gyeonggi-do. (See? Kagulo.)
I wanted to curse out loud in Tagalog for the heck of it. No one would understand what the hell I was saying anyway, and I was really close to crying because I had no idea of where I should go.
Finally, my phone rang.
“Hello? Asher?”
“No, this is Cholo, I borrowed his phone,” said a cool voice from the other line, and I wanted to vanish in a manhole. “Can you lift your right hand up?”
I did as I was told and looked around, then found Cholo right behind me, smiling, his ears hidden in a beanie.
“Naks, following instructions. Off we go,” he said, and he put the phone down. I was half-expecting him to take my hand, but he didn’t.
After the event, the exams and tons of final requirements for all of our majors made it difficult for us to even see each other or talk for very long periods of time. He was also really busy with the org. I made sure to sit with him again in every class and eat lunch with him, but all we talked about was academics and we didn’t as much as hold hands.
Only after finals week did we have free time, though I mostly used it for filing my visa. The approval came out one day later than it was supposed to, though, so I had to take a different flight from them.
But I was here now, so that’s that.
“Are we going to ride a train?” I asked, securing my knit hat around my ears.
“Yup,” he said. “Then more walking.”
More walking meant more time spent with him, but he didn’t open up and just stayed quiet, keeping his hands in his jacket. I did the same, but spent the entire walk thinking of how to break the ice, as he was acting as cold as the air around us right now.
We finally arrived at Everland, and we might as well had been strangers as he continued to ignore me. I walked faster to match his strides.
“Where are we meeting them?” I asked, wondering where his family was. We were supposed to meet up here with Asher, Chan, Ate Ania, Chip, their parents, and Risa, but they were nowhere to be found.
“They were here yesterday,” Cholo replied. “Tayo lang ngayon.”
“Ha?”
“They couldn’t wait. I just moved our passes for today so you won’t be alone.”
I stopped walking and stared at him. After three steps, he did the same and looked back at me, hands still in his pockets.
“Let’s try the Rolling-X train,” he said, and before I could say anything, he walked towards the said ride, which I was sure would be the cause of my early death.
Four harrowing rides later, I had no color to my cheeks and lips. I was shaking from head to foot, and Cholo was staring at me impassively as I tried to catch my breath.
“Sabi mo kaya mo?” he challenged. If it weren’t for the fact that I was supposed to try and get him back, I would have asked him for another go on the Rolling-X train just so I could push him off its highest point.
“Yeah, I’m still alive, thanks for noticing,” I answered, my eyes teary from frustration, fear, and too much screaming. I was hungry too. “Bwisit.”
“You said you wanted to visit this amusement park?”
“Yeah, but I never said I wanted to try the rides,” I replied, kicking an imaginary stone on the ground.
“Hirap sa’yo eh,” he said in a low voice, whistling as he started to walk away. “You’re a brat.”
“Okay, listen to me, you little shit,” I said. “I came here because I wanted to say sorry and I wanted to get you back. I’m not even complaining despite the fact that I had died four times on those rides and got spit back out by the gates of hell right after. You call that being a brat? The least you could do is not to be an asshole to me about it.”
“Me, an asshole?” he asked with a laugh.
“Oh, you really want me to start?” I said, not backing down. “Look. My flight to Seoul was delayed by three hours. The plane was horrible, the service was horrible, I hardly slept, it’s so fucking cold and I don’t even have a proper jacket. But I came all the way here anyway, because I wanted to tell you things. And you—you stand there, smirking like you’re having the time of your life while I’m miserable, laughing at my fear of heights!”
I stopped my sentence, gasping for air. He raised an eyebrow.
“What things did you want to tell me, exactly?” he asked, folding his arms, and I saw a hint of one of his dimples appear on his left cheek, telling me he was fighting a smile.
“Well, for one? Sobrang self-righteous mo.”
His dimple vanished. He must have been expecting an epic I-love-you-please-forgive-me spiel.
“You’re insufferable! You’re a pain in the ass when we go out because you’re allergic to shrimp and I can’t eat it around you anymore because if I did, I can’t kiss you. Also, your driving sucks!”
Cholo was starting to look around us now, embarrassed.
“Oh, and your attention to detail is a nightmare. I hate how I can’t watch Game of Thrones without me having to pause in every fucking frame because you insist on explaining everything. I hate how I can’t borrow your books because you’d notice the smallest fold, hate how you lose your mind when you get drunk and not remember a thing the day after. Nakakabwisit ‘yung andar ng bunganga mo, you think you’re all high and mighty with the way you scold me. Sometimes, you scold me more than my dad, which is saying a fucking lot. For an average guy, sobrang dami mong kuda!”
I breathed hard on my spot, watching his horror-stricken face.
“That said I don’t even want to remember why I bothered flying out here. Now that I laid it all out in the open, though, it did feel good. It was worth the delay, the heavy baggage, the cold air. Because I could finally tell you all that.”
He met my gaze and looked confused on whether to walk away or not. My strategy to throw him off was effective.
“But you know what made me want to fly out here the most?” I asked. “It’s so that I could tell you that you were right.”
His eyes widened at those last three words.
“You were right about me being alone and lonely. I was too proud. A perennial witch. I also eat a lot, I’m too reckless, rude to my parents, an asshole to everyone I meet. I had no direction, and just let the wind take her where it wanted to go.”
I looked down on the ground, ashamed. I closed my eyes and thought of that day we fought, one last time, so I could properly apologize.
“Saying that I’m sorry, or that I love you, despite them being true, I can’t say them enough to convince you to stay. I let people like Summer and Miki take over my thoughts and I believed them more than you. I let it get in the way.
Right now, all I can do is admit my mistakes, own up to them, and let you win. Tell you that you’re right. That I need you to set me straight because ninety percent of the time, I have no idea which way is north, literally and figuratively.”
I shook my head like a puppy getting water off its ears.
“You were right, Cholo. About everything,” I said, conceding, finally. “And I’m sorry if I sounded like I didn’t appreciate everything that you had done for me. We’re supposed to grow as people, and I don’t think I’ve ever grown with anyone the way I grew as a person with you.”
He was busy staring at his shoes when I looked back at him.
“I’m willing to let you be right this time. All the time. I’m just so
sorry, for listening to them, for ruining that day you had planned for both of us. Sorry if for one moment I had made you think that there was something I wouldn’t do for you.” I said, my voice breaking at last. “Because there isn’t. There really isn’t.”
“You were right, too,” he countered, taking my hand at last. “About my driving.”
“’Yun lang?” I demanded, tears falling yet again as I laughed, and we both just lost it, dissolving into crazy laughter as he pulled me in for a tight hug. The rest of Everland dissolved around us as he sniffed my hair.
“About you being a witch, too,” he said. “But you’re my witch. A brave one who didn’t freak out when a random doll appeared in her window, one who had no qualms about admitting her mistakes.”
We both let go, and he sloppily wiped my face with the sleeve of his jacket.
“I can’t promise not to be a control freak or a preachy boyfriend anymore,” he also said. “But rest assured, I am not going to make your decisions for you. I’m simply going to stay by your side and be encouraging. Help you be the best that you can be, like you’re doing with me now.”
“I love you,” I said, my voice thick. “And I’m really sorry.”
“Na do,” he said, and I recognized it as the Korean translation of ‘me too’. He pushed my bangs aside. I felt lighter than I ever had in my life, and I was ready for it when he put both hands on my jaw and kissed me.
“Jigeumeun,” he whispered against my lips, smiling. “Apeurodo . . . yeongwonhi.”
I laughed, recognizing the words as they were the motto of Era of Maidens. Jigeumeun was today, apeurodo was tomorrow, and yeongwonhi was forever.
Perhaps that phrase could be our forever and always.
THE END
PLUS
GUIDE QUESTIONS FOR BOOK CLUB DISCUSSION
1. Have you ever rebelled against a parent or an authority figure? What reasons did you have in doing so? Do you think this is a normal phase for everyone?
2. Vinnie got in trouble for brawling. What do you think is the best way for schools to discipline troubled students and teach them a lesson? Are punishments still as effective for today’s youth as they were for earlier generations?