“That would be a lot more convincing if you weren’t drooling.”
His comment caught her completely off guard, and a laugh burst out of her. But she reined it in and put on a mock hurt expression. “That wasn’t very nice.”
“I’m sorry.” Dan’s lips folded into a fake frown and he fluttered his eyelids at her. “Here, I’ll make it up to you.” Before she could react, he’d reached over, grabbed the spoon from the ice cream, and popped it into her mouth.
“Hey,” she protested around the spoon. But a microsecond later, she closed her eyes in bliss as the creamy chocolate coated her tongue.
“Good, right?” Dan pulled the spoon slowly from her mouth.
She nodded, letting the cool cream slide down her throat. When she opened her eyes, Dan was studying her like watching her eat ice cream was the most fascinating thing he had ever done.
“Fine. You win.” Jade grabbed the spoon and dipped out a heaping scoop. She lifted it toward her lips but at the last second diverted it into Dan’s mouth. “We’ll share it.”
His eyes widened, but his mouth curved into a grin around the spoon. “Fair enough,” he mumbled through the ice cream.
For the next ten minutes, they were busy passing the spoon back and forth, though Jade noticed Dan always took tiny spoonfuls for himself.
When all that remained was a melted soup covering the bottom of the bowl, Dan passed it to her. “The rest is all yours.”
Jade eyed him but took it. “You really would have given me the whole thing, wouldn’t you?”
Dan shrugged. “Of course.”
Jade leaned against the back of the bench and scooped the soupy mess into her mouth. The last time she’d splurged on good ice cream, the guy she’d brought home with her had found it in her freezer and eaten it while she slept.
“Thank you.” She licked the spoon clean and set it and the bowl to the side.
Somehow, as they ate, the distance between them had closed, so that Dan’s shoulder was almost pressed against hers now.
She should move.
But she was too comfortable like this.
She closed her eyes. The sun baked pleasantly on her hair, and the refreshing breeze slid against her skin. She gave a contented sigh, letting the sound of the waves lapping against the rocks lull her.
Just for a moment, she’d pretend this was her life.
Chapter 25
An itch in the middle of his back was driving Dan crazy, but if he moved to scratch it, he’d disturb Jade. He hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep next to him until her head had slid onto his shoulder.
He couldn’t stop looking at her. In sleep, all the guardedness she normally wore like a hockey mask faded away. With the wind blowing tendrils of hair across her cheeks, she looked sweet and almost . . . fragile. Dan resisted the temptation to brush her hair off her cheek and tuck it behind her ear.
He cast his eye on the lowering sun, trying to calculate the time, but he’d never exactly been a Boy Scout. It had to be nearly dinnertime by now. Much as he didn’t want to move, he did have to get home and get ready for a meeting tonight. He still had a couple of reports to write up for it.
A gust of wind carried a tendril of hair across Jade’s nose, and she shifted on his shoulder. Forgetting his earlier resolve, Dan hooked his finger under the hair and slid it gently off Jade’s cheek.
She stirred again, this time blinking up at him, and he pulled his hand back quickly.
Jade blinked again, her eyes clouded with confusion, then bolted upright, wiping at the line of saliva that had trickled down her cheek.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to— Oh my goodness, I drooled on your shirt.” She lifted a hand to swipe at a small wet spot on his shoulder.
Dan caught her wrist gently and lowered it to the bench between them. “Don’t worry about it. You should see the puddle Nate’s dog leaves on me all the time.”
Jade laugh-groaned. “Thanks for comparing me to a dog.” She swiped self-consciously at her cheek again. “I’m sorry about falling asleep. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’ve been working too hard. And you’re sick. You’re allowed to fall asleep.” Dan stood and held out a hand to help her up, not letting go until he was sure she was steady on her feet. Then he reached behind him to scratch desperately at the spot that had been itching for the past twenty minutes.
But his arm didn’t bend like that.
“Here.” Her fingers found the exact spot and scratched back and forth.
“Ahh.” Dan could have crumpled in relief. “Thank you.”
Much as he wanted to stay there with her the rest of the night, he couldn’t. “Should we head back? I was going to ask if you wanted to grab some dinner, but I actually have to get to a meeting. Plus, I don’t know about you, but I’m still full from that ice cream.”
“Dan.” Something in Jade’s voice made him stop, but he was afraid to look at her. She sounded too gentle, too un-Jadelike.
“What’s up?”
She took a step closer, so they were standing side-by-side.
“This was nice.” She studied the bench, as if there was still a shadow of them sitting there. “And I appreciate it. But don’t you think Grace is the one you should be taking out to dinner?” She didn’t meet his eyes.
He tried to tamp down the hope sprouting in this heart. Was it possible she was jealous?
“Jade.” He waited for her to look up at him. When she did, her expression was unreadable. But he was used to that. Typical Jade.
“Grace and I aren’t a couple.”
Jade broke their eye contact and started walking. He fell into step beside her.
“Maybe not yet.” Jade’s stride was rapid. “But you will be eventually. Everyone sees it. She’s perfect for you.”
He grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. “I don’t see it, Jade. I know Leah already has Grace and I walking down the aisle. And I couldn’t tell you the number of older women from church who have given me their blessing to court her. They’ve pointed out all her good qualities—she loves ministry, she sings, she plays the piano, she cooks, she―”
“Yeah, it really sounds like you don’t see a future with her.” Jade’s sarcasm cut through his list, and he broke off.
“But those aren’t the things I’m looking for.” He licked his lips. He had to stop now. Before he went too far.
“What are you looking for then? Because if Grace doesn’t meet your standards, I don’t know who will.” Was that a note of bitterness he detected?
Dan raised his hands helplessly. “I don’t have a list. I just want someone who makes me laugh. Someone I can spend time with for hours and never get tired of their company. Someone I look at and think, ‘Wow, God really knew what he was doing when he put this person in my life.’”
Someone like you.
But if he said those words, there’d be no taking them back.
“Oh, is that all?” The sarcasm was back, but under it, Dan thought he caught a note of hope.
“Anyway, I told Grace this morning that I thought it was best if we didn’t pursue a relationship.”
“Oof.” Jade let out a breath. “Poor girl. How’d she take it?”
Dan considered. How much did he want to reveal? “Surprisingly well, actually. She seemed to be expecting it. She seemed to think―” But no, that would definitely be revealing too much.
“To think?” Jade prompted.
Dan scrambled for an explanation that was the truth—but not enough of the truth to scare Jade away. “She seemed to think it was for the best too. Anyway, she didn’t seem to have any hard feelings, so . . .” What was the end of that sentence? So he was free to marry Jade? Or at least to confess his love for her? Maybe start with dating her?
Jade raised an eyebrow, waiting. Was that a challenge? Did she think he was too chicken to say the rest of it?
He opened his mouth, then snapped it closed. She was right—he was too chicken.
They started walking again, and with every step, Dan’s cowardice mocked him.
Tell her. Tell her.
You didn’t tell her.
When they arrived at Violet’s apartment building, Dan opened the door and stood aside for Jade to enter.
She gave him a long look, then stepped up.
Before he could rethink it, he darted out a hand to stop her. “Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you.”
“So ask.” Jade’s voice was all business, but her eyes brightened.
For some reason, that scared him more than anything else.
“Would you be willing to help out with VBS in a couple weeks?” He shuffled his feet as her face fell. That was so not the question he’d wanted to ask, but now that he’d started, he couldn’t undo it. “You were so good with the kids, and they really loved you, so I was hoping . . .”
“Yeah, of course. I’d be happy to.” Jade reached for the door.
It was halfway closed when he stuck his arm out to brace it open. “Also, one more thing.”
She tilted her head, lips in a straight line.
Dan heaved in a quick breath. He wasn’t likely to get another chance if he blew it again. “Would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow night?”
Watching the slow smile spread across her face was like watching the sun rise over the lake on a perfect morning.
“Yeah.” Her smile stunned him more than any sunrise ever had. “I would.”
Chapter 26
Jade did a slow spin in front of the bathroom mirror. She’d taken a few minutes off of working on Vi and Nate’s house this afternoon to buy the dress, but now she was having second thoughts.
Maybe it was too much.
She needed another opinion.
“Vi?” She checked the time as she wandered to the kitchen. Fortunately, she’d started getting ready for dinner plenty early, so she could change if Vi gave the dress a thumbs down.
“Whoa.” Vi set down the knife she’d been using to chop garlic. “I guess you’re feeling better.”
“Yep.” She’d felt a little off again this morning, but it had passed rather quickly. “Is it too much?”
She spun to give her sister the full effect of the pink off-the-shoulder dress.
“It’s not something I would have pictured you wearing,” Vi said. “But you look amazing. What’s the occasion?”
Jade bit her lip, suddenly feeling shy about telling her big sister she had a date.
“I’m meeting a friend for dinner.”
Vi gave her a knowing look. “Is this the same friend who brought you those heavenly smelling flowers?”
Jade’s face heated way beyond any fever she’d ever had. But she couldn’t stop the silly smile that kept threatening to lift the corners of her mouth as she nodded.
“So?” Vi prompted. “Who is he?”
“Uh―” Jade busied her hands straightening a pile of mail on the counter. “It’s Dan.”
She chanced a glance at her sister.
Vi’s mouth widened into an almost perfect O, and she dropped her knife. “You like Dan?”
Instantly, Jade’s hackles rose. “What’s wrong with Dan? He’s a great guy, and―”
Vi waved her hand. “Nothing’s wrong with Dan.” She picked up her knife and resumed chopping. “I know he’s a great guy. I just didn’t think he was your type.”
“I’ll have you know that we actually dated—well, not really dated, but spent a lot of time together—at the end of senior year.”
“You and Dan dated?” Vi shrieked.
Jade pressed her hands down in midair, as if that could calm her sister. “It wasn’t that big of a deal. We were just friends.”
But the word mocked her.
She hadn’t been willing to see it at the time, but she’d realized it after she’d left. She was in love with him.
And it wasn’t some high school infatuation. It was that soul-deep love you only read about in novels.
“Did he know you were going to leave?” Vi concentrated on scooping the chopped garlic into a sauté pan, but Jade could hear the hurt.
She touched her sister’s arm. “No one knew, Vi. Not even me, really, until I did it.”
Vi nodded with a quick sniffle. “Well, be careful. You’re leaving again eventually, and you don’t want to hurt him.” She set the pan on the stove. “Unless you’re not leaving?”
Jade shook her head, trying to ignore the hope that had replaced the sadness in Vi’s eyes. Of course she was leaving. This wasn’t her real life. It was just a break, a diversion.
But something sank in her stomach at the prospect of going back to her so-called life in LA. It was so empty compared to what she had here—her sister and Nate, their friends, who were starting to feel like her friends, Dan, and even church. What did LA have that compared to any of that?
Still, it wasn’t like she could just pretend the past hadn’t happened, move back here, and live happily ever after.
Could she?
This was really happening. Dan had to keep reminding himself of that as he watched Jade, sitting across the table from him, smiling a real smile at him, laughing that full laugh that made her whole demeanor soften. The setting sun lit her hair and reflected in her eyes as they sat on the patio outside the Hidden Cafe. He’d wanted to take her somewhere nicer for their first real date, but she’d insisted that this was where she wanted to go.
He was glad now that he’d let her talk him into it. She seemed so at ease here, so comfortable. He could sit and watch her all night. He caught his breath as her eyes landed on his.
“What?” She gave him a self-conscious smile.
“What, what?”
“You’re staring at me. Do I have spinach in my teeth?” She covered her mouth with her hand, and he impulsively reached across the table, entwining his fingers in hers and bringing their hands to rest between them.
“No spinach. I was just thinking about how much I enjoy being with you.”
“Dan.” She tried to pull her hand away, looking at the other tables around them, but he wasn’t going to let go. She struggled for another second but finally let her hand relax in his.
Her lips slid into a gentle smile. “I like being with you too.” She said it so begrudgingly, he had to laugh.
“You don’t have to sound so happy about it.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “I tried not to, you know. Nothing good can possibly come of this.” She gestured between them. “I’m only here for a couple more months, and you’re a pastor and―”
He raised his hand to stop her, then closed it over her other free hand. “We’ll let God worry about all of that. For now, let’s just focus on being together.”
“But―”
“Please?” He stood, pulling her to her feet too. He had all the same fears she did about this—maybe more, since his heart was already fully invested. But he also trusted that if Jade was the woman God had created for him, his Heavenly Father was powerful enough to make things work out.
“Come on. Let’s go for a walk.”
“I’d like that.” She grabbed her purse. “Let me just use the restroom first.”
As Dan watched her walk away, he offered a short prayer. If this is your will, Lord, help me not to screw it up.
Jade could not erase the stupid grin from her face even as she used the restroom. She’d tried to keep the date from getting too serious by insisting on dinner at the Hidden Cafe, but somehow even the little restaurant had become magical tonight.
The way Dan had looked at her. The way he’d held her hands. How did that simple gesture feel more intimate than anything she’d ever done with any other man?
With everyone else, the sensations had been purely physical. Her mind and emotions had never been part of the picture. And forget her soul.
But with Dan—
With Dan, simply holding hands felt like forging a deep connection. Like something bigger than themselves was bringing them tog
ether. Could it be that it was God?
But that was crazy, wasn’t it?
God would never intend for someone like her to end up with a pastor.
Jade stood and fixed her dress. She heard the bathroom door open, a woman’s voice echoing in the tiled space.
“Did you see who he’s with tonight?” The woman’s voice was high-pitched and gossipy, and Jade rolled her eyes. How many times had she said that same sentence to her friends in LA? Did she sound as ridiculous as this woman?
She pivoted to flush the toilet but stopped mid-motion as a second woman chimed in.
“Jade Falter?” Her voice oozed disdain. “I guess he doesn’t know about her reputation.”
“Or he does.” Yet another woman, whose voice sounded vaguely familiar, added. “And he’s tired of being a good boy.”
A chorus of giggles and “Stop” and “That was bad” filled the room.
Jade pressed a hand over her mouth. She was plenty used to being talked about like that. But it wasn’t fair to Dan to let them slander his name because of her.
She steeled her shoulders, then flushed and pulled the stall door open.
The three women were still smiling as they reapplied their makeup in the mirror. She only knew one woman’s name—Heidi—but she recognized all three from church.
Heidi noticed her first, and her smile disappeared, her eyes widening. The other two women took a moment to realize what was going on, but within ten seconds, they wore matching expressions.
Jade let the silence unreel as she deliberately washed and dried her hands. Tension consumed the space behind her as she pushed out the bathroom door.
Only after it had closed did she let her shoulders fall and allow herself a few quick blinks to clear her eyes.
She’d been delusional to let herself believe anything real could develop between her and Dan. She’d set the course for her life as a kid. And it didn’t include a relationship with a preacher.
The smile Dan greeted her with as she met him at the front door almost brought the tears she’d buried to the surface.
“Ready to go?” He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away, gripping her purse instead.
Not Until Us (Hope Springs Book 4) Page 14