by Amy Henwood
I dropped my barrier and hoped my grandma would be there. Being caught up in boys, I had left out the most important person in my life.
“Grandma,” I whispered, but it was followed by silence. “Grandma?”
I was about to put my barrier up when I heard her voice crawling through.
I am here, sweetie.
An enormous flood of comfort overwhelmed me when I heard her.
I’m sorry, Grandma. I have no excuse for not making proper time for you recently.
No reason to be sorry, dear. You are a university student, living the expected university life. You are bound to be driven offside at some point.
I was relieved by her empathy but still disappointed in myself for not communicating with her more in the past weeks. I had zero explaining to do in recapping current events. I blocked spirits out but that did not keep them from being present. I wondered if Grandma walked or floated, if she had a figure to her in the heavens or invisible like the wind. I had never asked her, yet I had never been curious until now. She was with me every day, barrier up or down.
Everything has been turned upside down for me. You told me to watch out for people and now I am finding out things that are impossible to believe.
The earth lurks with many unimaginable beings.
Are there more of them out there? She didn't answer. Why have you failed to mention any of this to me before? Again, nothing. Who else do I know that is like Chase and Jackson?
She finally spoke. That is not my place to tell.
My nerves were shortened. Aren't you an angel as well, and supposed to protect me?
I am a spirit. No different than any other spirit that contacts you. Jackson must know that he has full trust in you. Help him understand that he cannot blame the accident on himself. Do not jeopardize his ability to protect you. You need him now more than ever.
She left me after that.
I raised my barrier to keep others at bay. I had a slew of additional questions for Jackson, but all I could do was wait for him to emerge from my room.
I polished off my first cup of coffee and flipped through a Vogue magazine of Mia’s. Magazines must be where she learned her impeccable fashion sense. I could not walk more than five feet in our place without stumbling across one. Halfway through mug number two, the dried hinges creaked on the door when it opened. Jackson appeared in the kitchen with my housecoat covering himself.
“Pink?” He was not impressed.
“It brings out your blonde hair,” I said. “It’s all I have. Never did I imagine I would need a supply of backup male clothes.”
“I will accept that as a compliment,” he said, taking a seat in a vacant chair.
I poured coffee into the mug I had set out earlier and filled it an inch from the rim. I watched him closely with each movement he took. He pulled the cream toward him and transferred enough to change the colour from back to hazel. He left the sugar untouched. He placed the mug to his velvet lips and took a large taste before setting the mug cautiously back on the table like it was some prized antique china.
“I want to know more. I need you to tell me everything,” I said to him. He stared down at his cup and fiddled with the handle. “Please, Jackson.”
He looked up with hollow eyes. “What else do you want to know?”
“Everything that is relevant to my human existence. How am I here on earth as a somewhat normal human and you and Chase are angels, even though we died from the same accident?”
Did it have to do with them being killed instantly and me taking days?
I witnessed his chest take a deep intake of air, preparing himself for more truth exposing.
“Everyone has an afterlife, but it is not known until they pass on. Afterlives can happen instantly or take years, even decades, and in rare occasions a century or more. In my case, I watched over you in spirit form until your death and then I was enclosed in a black dimension of nothingness. No sense of time, surroundings or self. What seemed like seconds turned out to be years. Years waiting for your arrival back to earth.”
I thought for a moment. If I am not an angel, then what am I? “I have been reincarnated?” The idea was as crazy as the words sounded out of my mouth.
“Yes,” he said, confirming my offside assumption.
I had to compose myself ahead of my next inquiries, taking in the new information about myself. The number of books I had read, the countless articles on the internet—not one mentioned reincarnation being a link to my ability. That was also the first time I had referenced my acclaimed disability as an ability. It truly was a gift.
“Is that why I can connect with spirits?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“How long between my death and re-entry?” I asked.
“Five years.” He stuck with brief answers, letting me rattle off my list of questions.
“And your afterlife destination was becoming my protector?”
“Correct.”
“And Chase’s is to destroy me?”
“No.”
Not the answer I was expecting. “Elaborate.”
“We are both angels but in different forms. I am a guardian angel whose purpose is to protect. Chase was a spirit like you were and like your grandmother is, whose purpose is to guide. A living being without that gift you hold is still being guided by spirits, just without their knowledge. Chase broke the cardinal rule when guiding someone, which was to instead lead them down a path of temptation of wrongdoing. That wrongful guidance caused the eviction of his spirit and, like me, he came back to earth, not as a guardian but as a dark angel.”
I tensed at the words dark angel. The super villain of all angels.
“This is why you need my protection more than ever. I have kept you out of harm's way your entire life, but when I discovered that Chase had come into your life, I had to protect you more than ever. After many scenarios, the only one I could come up with to safeguard you was exposing myself. It was the only way I could think you would be able to understand the danger your life is in.”
Grandma had hinted about people, but never expanded on who or what. She had always fulfilled her engagement of guiding me, but I chose to ignore her warnings. Only then did Jackson go from being my silent protector to my visible keeper.
I forced myself into the depths of the chair, preparing for an answer I didn't want to know but a question I had to ask.
“My family, from my first life,” I inquired, “are they still alive?” With inquisitive fear, I composed the words slowly.
“Well, I think that is enough coffee for you in one evening,” he said, scooping my cup away.
“You know, don’t you? Stop avoiding the question,” I interrogated him. “You probably even know where they live. Did I have siblings? Tell me about my parents. Oh my god, you knew my first set of parents.”
I had a second family, a secret family. I bet they were good people too, and probably a hell of a lot better than my current one.
“You can ask all you want, but I don’t have to answer.”
“Jackson, you have to tell me,” I pleaded.
“What I have to do is make sure you get into bed safely.”
I wanted to be mad at him—to be angry at him for holding back such prominent information about the life I never knew existed, but instead I blurted out before thinking, “Stay with me. Spend the night. You know, to keep me safe and all.”
With my life in supposedly potential danger and Chase most certainly wanting to get his hands around my neck, I didn’t think I would feel at ease without Jackson close by.
I swiped my mug back from Jackson, and for the first time, I was able to do something without him knowing before my actions. When I fell on the kitchen floor that morning, he knew before I knew. When I tripped going up the stairs at school five years ago, he knew and caught me.
I finished the remaining drips of coffee. I didn’t like when people wasted liquid gold, and even more so, I didn’t like being a hypocrite, so I drank eve
ry sip.
I brushed my teeth and washed my face, and Jackson remained seated at the table with his mug freshly topped up. I slipped into the sexiest piece of sleepwear I owned, and contemplated hijacking one from Mia’s collection. I doubted she would be returning that evening, and she would be the one encouraging me to sex it up.
I lay in bed only after triple checking my ground floor bedroom window was locked and drawing the curtains tightly closed so that no one could peek in and see me. I was alone with the only comforting fact being that Jackson was close by. Today’s discoveries had left me a little freaked out, to say the least.
I had been the centre of a fist fight because I had fallen for two men at once, who on the edge of disgust turned out to be brothers from a past life. I learned that my communication ability with spirits was the result of being reincarnated, which explained why I knew nothing about being alive before this life, but Jackson and Chase recalled everything. My life had turned into a Discovery Channel special.
I turned to my friend Google for some additional folklore knowledge, powering on my laptop and conveying it to my lap. I started typing obituary but could not get any further than that. I didn't know my first life’s name and it was highly unlikely that Jackson would reveal it to me. My next attempt with the search engine was regarding dark and guardian angels, resulting in over thirteen million links, pictures and videos. I scrolled through the first page, reading the synopses, and drilled into one.
Angels are classified into two main types with additional subtypes. They are formed from spirits of deceased, that had once walked the earth's soil.
Type one: an angel can be invisible to humans, but some people are able to feel their presence with them. The odd sensation that somebody is watching you, you can be sure that is your angel.
Type two: commonly referred to as fallen angels. They are present in life, which any mortal can see. They appear as mortals, making it impossible to know if they are indeed angels.
The articled continued onto subtypes.
Guardian angel: sent to protect a certain individual. They can be in the form of angels or fallen angels. They are immortal and cannot be damaged, for they are protected by archangels. A guardian angel’s time on earth diminishes when their protected source either perishes or their life is no longer in danger. This can range from a matter of days to an entire lifetime.
Dark angel: can be an angel or fallen angel, and have been banished from the afterlife. Dark angels are commonly mistaken for ghosts, as they are known to cause havoc. Ghosts are limited to one location, usually where they passed or where an item is that they consider a great treasure, and they follow it; whereas dark angels have the ability to go anywhere they please. Fallen dark angels are formed on the same precedence as dark angels and come in human form. Unlike fallen guardian angels, they can be damaged and destroyed as they do not have the protection from archangels.
Archangel: the highest ranking of all angels. They are responsible for deciding what spirits descend to earth and hold any power they can assign. They distribute supernatural powers to angels. Archangels come and go on earth and hold onto the ultimate power, that no other angel can possess, the power to health.
Rustling seeped through the walls. I slammed my laptop closed and set it on my bedside table and got out of bed to see what Jackson was doing. Jackson was washing the handful of dirty dishes on the counter, along with our mugs and coffee pot we used. He washed each dish and ran them under hot water to rinse the remaining soap residue. Steam formulated from the scolding water, fresh out of the tap, that by the time he washed and rinsed the few pieces, the extremely hot water had evaporated, not requiring any towel drying. Yet, not once did he flinch from the scolding heat that would have absolutely burned me.
He spun, catching me spying.
“I told you to stay out of my head,” I said.
“I am,” he countered.
“Then how did you know I was watching you?”
“You are not very discreet jumping around on one foot to get to the doorway. It's a dead giveaway.”
“I wouldn't need to jump if you would let me have my crutches that are locked in your car.”
“So they are.” He smirked.
“Are you coming to bed, or are you planning on cleaning the bathroom next?”
“You think you are so slick, Courtright.”
He last-named me again. No one had ever addressed me by my last name until Jackson had, and somewhere inside it brought me comfort. Possibly he had done it a lot when we dated in life one—presuming that was my first life. It made me wonder how many previous lives my soul truly holds.
“Was I aware of your cleaning abilities when we dated? Because I would have married you in a heartbeat for that reason alone.”
He came in close, venting his warm breath on me. “I would have married you if I knew you wore these kinds of things to bed every night,” he said, referring to my only sexed up nightgown.
Black with a low v-cut. The outer seams trimmed in lace that was barely long enough to cover my ass. Bending over would expose me openly. I protested the purchase, but I am glad I spent the funds. Mia insisted that one day I would want it and not have it handy, convincing me it would be better off to buy it then regret it when the time came.
“I think there is a better reason you would have married me, though,” he grinned.
“Your backhand?”
“Cute,” he said, brushing his lips over my shoulders that were only covered by a thin spaghetti strap. “Why don't you follow me to bed and I will show you.”
14
Jackson’s arm draped over my naked body, with his hand resting on my breast. I was graced with soft kisses at intermittent intervals. Rolling over to face him, I formed a comb with my fingertips to brush his tangled locks.
“Was it always like this?” I asked.
“The sex?” he said.
“The sex, our relationship, everything.”
“I wish I could say yes. We never had sex before tonight.”
“Never?” Out of every fact I had been forced to believe in the previous twenty-four hours, that was the hardest one to accept. “Were you not a horny adolescent that thought about sex more than every other subject combined?”
“Of course I was.”
“Then why did I deprive myself of this with you?”
“We grew up in a different time, not surrounded by cell phones, portable computers or tablets. We played in the mud and on the streets until dark. Rode bikes and skateboards with no helmets, and always waiting until marriage.”
He covered my lips with his. I closed off my sense of sight to increase the sensitivity of touch. Feeling each stroke on my face, across my bare skin, down my arms and resting on my inner thighs as we intertwined ourselves.
I dozed off, and when the sun arched the horizon, the bed was empty next to me. I stretched and ruffled the low-thread-count sheets.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Jackson said as he entered my room.
“Morning. What were you doing up this early?”
“Working.”
“Working here? In my house?”
“I keep my laptop with me at all times. This way I can work around the clock.”
“Don’t you sleep?” I asked.
“No, I don’t have a need for sleep. I cannot recall the last time I did. You will not believe how much you can accomplish during moonlight hours.”
“How can you function with no rest?” Remembering the occasion when I had spent the night with Chase, I recalled that he had slept.
“Another difference between a guardian and dark angel is that guardians don’t need sleep to function, whereas dark ones do. As a guardian, we always need to be alert, and sleeping would interfere with protecting our people. Unfortunately for my lapse in judgments, I have grown accustomed to being more focused on making money, and I was not paying attention when Chase slipped into your life.”
I listened intently, taking in this new bit of
information.
“Hungry?” he asked, referring to my growling stomach.
“Famished.”
He rolled me onto my back and the sheet fell below my chest, exposing myself from the navel up.
“I would think you were a superhuman if I didn't know better. You have not eaten since the movie theatre popcorn, and I would not constitute that as a meal,” I said pulling my head upwards, and kissed his hovering face. “Bagel with butter or jam? Those are the only items I can offer you this morning. If I was expecting company, I would have stocked up on breakfast essentials.”
“You don't need to worry about me. We just need to worry about you and your stomach.”
“Do you not have to eat either?” I asked.
“No, I do not.”
“But you can?”
“Yes. Eating doesn't hurt me, but it also does nothing for me.”
“Then why do you ever eat?”
“It has become a hobby for me,” he said hesitantly. “I do it to appear human in public but I also enjoy tasting new creations, trying new ingredients and reminding me of my own human days. Have you ever been to Maggie’s?” he asked.
“Can’t say I have.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing. Best home-cooked meals around.”
“I’m sold, but first I would like to take a shower.”
“This is your home, you don't need my permission.”
I left the bed, taking the sheet with me and leaving the comforter for Jackson. I tried to walk on both feet unassisted but had to use the wall for additional support to ease some of my body weight.
“Are you aware how hot you look in nothing but that bed sheet and your hair in a mess?” He started to move from the bed.
“Stay there,” I urged. “I can only imagine the impure thoughts running through that male brain of yours.”
“You can always find out for yourself,” he said with a side of seductiveness.
I smiled. “No, I think it would be safer to stay on the outside.”
I took the dry clothes off the shower rod and set them folded on the vanity prior to turning the water to a hot spring temperature. I stepped over the lip into the shower, closing the curtain behind me, enjoying the silence.