Zach closes his laptop. “When is your audition?”
“Thursday during my open hour.”
“I have chemistry with Burke. I’ll see if she’ll let me out to watch.” He shrugs. “Or I’ll just skip if she won’t.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Are you kidding?” he asks. “I wouldn’t miss it! I’m dying to see Miner’s reaction!”
“Thanks—for everything.”
“Don’t thank me, Abby.” His voice sends a shiver through me. “I like you—a lot. I know you can’t be surprised, but I want us to be more than friends.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know—we’re so different.”
“I don’t care. I know you’re freaked about how much money my parents have, but that’s not me. I’m not responsible for how much my parents have any more than you’re responsible for what your parents don’t have. I want to be with you.”
“What does that mean, exactly?” I’m buying time. I know what he means, I just don’t know how to respond.
“For starters, it means we go on dates, and we don’t date anyone else. We hang out—a lot.” He smiles and kneels in front of me on the futon. “I get to kiss you…”
“A lot?” My mind goes blank.
Zach smiles, then leans forward and touches his lips to mine. My heart leaps into my throat and I struggle to breathe. The kiss is short, only a testing of the waters. He leans back on his heels. “A lot.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
He leans forward again, this time holding my face between the palms of his two hands. “I guess I didn’t do that right. Let me try again.” He touches his lips to mine a second time, this time lingering. His warm breath sends tingles down my arms, and my heart pounds so loudly I know he must hear it. His tongue licks out and tastes mine. “Say yes, Abby.”
“Yes,” I whisper, not even realizing I’ve answered.
His kiss deepens until the only thing I can think about is the two of us in this moment. I know this is a bad idea, but he makes me feel like anything is possible—like everything I want is within my grasp. Right now, the only thing I want is Zach. He kisses me until I’m breathless, then leans back and smiles gently. “I knew I’d win you over.”
“Oh yeah?” I press my lips together, hiding a smile. “Pretty sure of yourself, were you?”
He sits beside me and lifts my hand, holding it between his own. He smiles. “Absolutely.”
I clear my throat. “I hate this, but I gotta go. My parents are meeting me at the Episcopal Church downtown.”
He frowns. “Can I give you a ride?”
I nod and his lips meet mine once again.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LAST NIGHT I TOSSED AND TURNED—NOT BE-CAUSE OF THE COLD THIS TIME, BUT BECAUSE OF ZACH. FOR the first time in ages, I’m happy—really happy. I don’t care that I didn’t get much sleep last night. I only care that, in a few minutes, I’ll see Zach again.
“Have a good day, Abby,” Nick says as we arrive at Door Six. “It’s good to see you smile, kiddo.”
“Thanks, Nick.”
In a bubble of euphoria, I step out of the van and find Zach leaning against the side of the building.
“Waiting for me?” I grin.
He draws his lips together, hiding a smile. “Shh. My girlfriend will hear you.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re an idiot.”
“Busted.” He grins, taking my hand. “You want breakfast?”
I nod. “Yeah, but I need to run to the bathroom first.”
“Always the bathroom with you first thing in the morning,” he teases. “You must have the world’s smallest bladder.”
“I’ll be quick.” I duck inside the bathroom and emerge several minutes later to find Zach still grinning that wide smile that brings out the dimple in his cheek.
“You pulled your hair back,” he says.
I shrug. “It was in my way.”
The cafeteria is offering fresh breakfast burritos today, so we each select one, then eat in comfortable silence. When we finish our last bites, Zach takes our garbage and drops it in the nearest bin. He returns and takes my hand, weaving our fingers together. “I’ll walk you to class.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to,” he says.
My body tingles, and I discreetly pinch myself to confirm I’m not dreaming. Heads turn in our direction as we walk hand in hand down the wide hallway. I hold my breath.
“Relax,” he says. “You’re tensing up. It’s okay.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“Yup. It is easy for me to say, ’cause I’m with the prettiest girl in school.”
My heart melts and I beam at him. When we reach the door to my first class, Zach turns toward me and closes the distance between us. “I’ll come back and walk you to your next class.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” He leans down and touches his lips to mine.
“Not in the hall.” Mr. Zagan’s dry voice reaches us and we jerk apart like opposing magnets. “You know better, Mr. Andrews.”
My face flames. “Sorry.”
“Don’t let me catch you again,” Mr. Zagan growls.
“Don’t let him embarrass you,” Zach says. “He’s just a lonely old man, jealous nobody will kiss him in the hallways.”
I bite my lip and nod.
“I’ll see you in an hour.” He winks, then turns and walks toward the office.
I enter Zagan’s class and find my seat next to Josh. My heart pounds in my chest.
Josh raises an eyebrow. “Hm…seems like I missed a couple chapters of your book. It looks like it’s getting steamy.”
“Shut up, Walt,” I say.
“C’mon, Ariel. Don’t take away my fun! Are you dating Zach now?”
I shrug, but my face flames. “I guess.”
“What do you mean you guess? You either are or you’re not.”
“Fine—yes.” I roll my eyes. “We’re dating.”
“Whoa! When did this happen?”
“Yesterday. He invited me over to work on the song for Mrs. Miner’s audition. He asked and I—I couldn’t say no!”
“Of course you couldn’t! I don’t know anyone who could say no to Zach!”
I shoot him a “hands off” scowl.
“Hey! Don’t get mad at me!” He throws his hands up. “I’m just sayin’ is all!”
The bell rings, and Tera and Wendy slip inside just seconds before Mr. Zagan closes the door.
“Thank you for joining us, ladies, but you’re late,” he says.
“Aw, c’mon Mr. Zagan!” Wendy whines. “Please don’t count us tardy! We can’t help it Tera drives a piece of crap and couldn’t get it started again!”
“Does the bus pick up near your house?” he asks.
“Yeah…” Wendy confirms.
Zagan slaps detention slips on their desks. “Then I suggest you start taking advantage of more reliable transportation.”
OUR FIRST LUNCH as a couple, my second week at this school and the hundredth time my stomach is in knots. Zach guides me to the same table as Friday where Scott, Trish and Zoë are already seated, along with several others whose names I’ve forgotten. I take the seat Zach offers and try not to look as nervous as I feel.
“Hey, Abby,” Scott says. “I hear you’re dating Zach?”
“Um—”
Trish’s Gatorade bottle slams on the table in front of me. The fear starts in my hands, which tremble visibly. Dark circles dot my vision and I pinch the inside of my arm to keep from passing out. The memories of another day rush back and I have to remind myself this is nothing like my old school. I’m just dating Zach. That’s all. I’ve done nothing wrong, and there’s no reason for anyone to turn on me. I repeat these words in my head, but the cafeteria is silent. All eyes are turned to our table.
Trish’s voice rings throughout the now-quiet room. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Why would you date her
, Zach? Can’t you tell she’s nothing but trash? A whore? She only likes you because your parents are loaded.”
The word whore rings through my ears until it’s the only word I can focus on. I’m cold all over, yet sweat glistens on my brow. Hold it together, Abby, I scream inside my head. Because any minute, I know I’ll fall apart.
“That’s enough, Trish.” Zach’s voice is quiet but frigid.
“No, Zach, it’s not enough.” Her voice is so loud she doesn’t need a microphone. “What is it about you guys that you follow your hormones wherever they lead? Has all the blood rushed out of your head and you can’t say no to a pretty face? She’s using you, Zach. You’ve known her for, what? Like, a minute? What do you even know about her? Can’t you see she’s a slut?”
Slut…Slut…Slut…the word filters through my head like a chant.
Scott’s face turns the same beet color as his hair. “Trish, stop. What’s wrong with you?”
“Trish,” Zoë whispers. “Don’t do this…it’s not fa—”
“Not fair, Zoë?” Trish’s voice is shrill. “Is that what you were about to say? Don’t tell me it’s not fair. What’s not fair is this tramp walks in here a WEEK ago and suddenly thinks she owns the school.”
Zoë tries again. “This isn’t the time—”
“Really?” Trish yells, her voice almost manic. “When is a good time? I’m only saying out loud what everybody else is thinking!”
Zach and Scott stand at the same time, their bodies forming a wall and shielding me from view. I want to run away, but I’m frozen in place. I’m unable to move or utter a single sound.
“Shut your ugly mouth,” Zach says between clenched teeth.
“Or what, Zach? What are you gonna do?”
Zach’s hands open and close as though he wants to hit something, but he keeps them at his side.
“Stop it, Trish,” Scott says. “You need to sit somewhere else today.”
“Gladly!” Trish stands and picks up her tray. “She must have some pretty special ‘talents’ to keep your attention, Zach. Just make sure you see a doctor when you’re done with your trailer trash girlfriend. You don’t want to pass along any diseases you might pick up while you’re slumming.”
She turns, then stops and throws over her shoulder, “On second thought, Zach? Don’t worry about it—I’m not sure the rest of us will want anything to do with you after she’s done with you.”
Trish stomps out of the cafeteria. Zoë’s face is ghost white and tears rest on the edges of her bottom lashes. She swallows and looks between Zach and me. A moment passes and none of us move.
Zoë stands and picks up her tray. She shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I’m—I—I’m really sorry.”
With those words, she returns her tray and leaves the cafeteria. Every eye follows her, and it’s another two or three minutes before the room resumes its normal noise level.
When I’m sure everyone’s attentions are back on their own business, I excuse myself for the bathroom. The tears I’ve been holding in are seconds from falling, and I need to escape before I can’t stop them. I stand and glance at Zach. “Excuse me. I’ll be back in a minute.”
He grabs my hand, his eyes pleading. “Don’t go. I’m sorry she did that.”
I offer him a bright smile, but I’m sure it looks as fake as it feels. “I just need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
“You sure?” He stares into my eyes.
I nod. “I’m sure.”
He releases my hand and I offer him one last smile. Then, leaving my tray on the table, I walk out of the cafeteria the way I have so many other times at my old school—with my head held high and a brittle smile on my face.
“ABBY!” THE BATHROOM door bangs open and Tera’s voice echoes inside the tomb-like room. I swipe at my eyes with a wad of toilet paper. I’ve only been in here about three minutes, but already my tears have soiled half a roll.
“Abby,” Tera says again. “Come out. It’s just us.”
I sniffle. “Give me a minute.”
“Don’t let her get to you. We told you she’s a witch,” Wendy says.
“I’m fine. Really—just give me second.” I pull another piece of toilet paper from the roll and blow my nose. Already it’s congested in that awful way it gets when you cry too hard and too fast.
“Then come out and show us,” Josh says.
“Josh!” I gasp. “What are you doing in here? Get out! You’ll get in trouble.”
“Not until you come out, Ariel,” he replies.
“I can’t yet.” I blot my eyes. “Give me a minute.”
“Okay, but the longer you stay in there, the bigger the risk I run of getting into trouble.”
“Oh geez—fine!” I open the door and I’m immediately pulled into a group hug.
“Don’t let her get to you,” Josh says. “She’s just jealous. You’re prettier than she is, rumor has it you sing better than she does, and now you’re dating her ex-boyfriend. You’re living her life and she’s jealous.”
“I’ve seen her car. If she’s jealous of my life, she can have it,” I say. “And what about her singing?”
“You haven’t heard?” Tera asks. “The whole school is talking about it.”
“Talking about what?”
Tera, Josh and Wendy exchange a look.
“What?” I demand. “Now you have to tell me!”
“Hm.” Josh turns to Wendy. “Tink?”
Wendy huffs out a breath and rolls her eyes. “Trish is auditioning for soloist in the Fall Concert. She’s won every year since ninth grade, so it’s always assumed she’s unbeatable. But these girls in your vocal music class are running their mouths, telling everyone you’re better than she is. Now half the school has bets on which of you will get the part.”
“What?” My eyes go wide. “Why does anyone even care?”
Josh snorts out a laugh. “Seriously? Because Trish is a bitch and everyone’s dying to finally see her lose. No doubt she’s talented, and rumor has it she’s been accepted to Juilliard, but it would serve her right if she lost for once.”
“But—”
“Are you auditioning?” Tera interrupts.
“Yeah—I was planning to.”
“Holy crap!” Wendy says. “No wonder she hates you! She’s scared.”
“Yeah, and totally screwed if Ariel wins. She’ll never live it down.” Josh laughs then eyes the bathroom door. “C’mon—I gotta jet before I get caught. Plus, I need to place my bet on Ariel.”
“Don’t you dare!” I exclaim.
He wiggles his eyebrows. “Seriously, Ariel? Why not? I don’t care if I win—I just want to bet against Trish!”
I punch him lightly on the arm. “Stop it, Josh—you’re not funny.”
“Ow!” He rubs his arm. “I’m not trying to be.”
“Are we good in here?” Wendy asks. “You okay?”
“Yeah—I’m fine. Just embarrassed.” I wipe away the last of my tears and glance in the mirror. My eyes are pink around the rims, but nothing most people would readily notice.
“Don’t be. Everyone knows what she is,” Tera says. “If people are looking at you, it’s because they’re awed by your courage.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am! So c’mon—let’s go finish lunch.”
“Thanks, you guys. You’re the best friends I’ve ever had, and I’ve only known you a week!”
“Of course we are!” Josh holds the door while we file out. “We’re awesome!”
When I return to my seat, Zach takes my hand and stares into my eyes. “You okay?”
“I’m good. I just needed a minute.”
“Don’t worry about Trish,” Scott says. “She’s made an ass of herself and she knows it.”
“Thanks. She’s going with our group to Homecoming, though?”
Scott clears his throat and his Adam’s apple bobs. “About that—I asked her Friday night. I had no idea she might cause a problem. We�
�ll find a different group.”
I shake my head. “No—I’ll be okay. We’ll just—we’ll figure it out that night.”
My appetite is gone, so I push my food around on my tray while I wait for the lunch period to end.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
DINNER AT THE SALVATION ARMY—AGAIN. ON THE MENU TONIGHT: CHICKEN AND RICE CASSEROLE, PEAS, and cold rolls. It wouldn’t be bad if I had an appetite. Since the scene with Trish, I’ve been in a funk. I push my peas into my chicken casserole and imagine how I might’ve reacted differently, but every scenario ends the same: utter humiliation. And not Trish’s, but mine.
“Sister’s not listening again,” Amber says.
“What?” I turn my attention back to my family.
“I said, ‘Sister’s not listening again.’”
“I’m sorry. My head is somewhere else.”
“You okay?” Mom asks.
I shrug. Though I promised to be nicer to Mom, right now I can only remember she’s the reason for our current predicament. If she hadn’t screwed around with Coach Hawkins, none of this would’ve happened. It’s like a freakin’ domino effect. Her affair knocked over the first domino, and they’ve been falling ever since. I wish we could fast-forward to the last domino and get it over with.
But if Mom hadn’t knocked over the first one, there would be no Zach. My mind plays a game of mental ping-pong, arguing over which is worse: being homeless or not having Zach in my life. I don’t know the answer because both scenarios suck.
Mom takes a breath and an invisible shield goes up—the same shield she pulled down when I called a truce. Great.
Nick clears his throat. “I was saying we got into the Dorothy Day House today. Your mom and I checked us in when they opened at four, so we can go straight there after dinner.”
“That’s great!” I say, but my voice lacks enthusiasm.
Nick lifts an eyebrow, but I avoid his gaze and focus on my meal.
“So,” he continues. “We’ll get settled there after dinner, then I have to be at work around eight. I won’t be back until after the eleven o’clock curfew, but they’ve made an exception because of my work schedule.”
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