by Elle Casey
Jonathan took a step forward to stand next to the bed, looking down at her open suitcase. “Hey Mom, you know, if you want I can re-pack that bag for you so you can fit more stuff in it while also remaining under the fifty-pound weight limit required by the airlines at check-in.”
She smiled, knowingly. “No, that’s not necessary. I’ve got it handled.” She started digging through the grocery bag. “Oooh, boy ... wow, you got a few kinds here. Oh, and one of them has SPF 50 ... I didn’t even know they made it that high.”
Jonathan grasped his hands behind his back and began rocking up on his heels and then his toes, back and forth with a regular rhythm. “Well, you know SPF is really an imperfect measure of potential skin damage because invisible damage and skin aging are also caused by ultraviolet type-A light, you know ... ‘UVA’ ... which is on a wavelength of 320 to 400 nanometers, by the way, and does not cause redness or pain; conventional sunscreen blocks very little UVA radiation. These broad spectrum sunscreens that I bought are designed to protect against both UVB and UVA light.” He smiled, very satisfied with his product choices.
Jonathan’s mom patted his shoulder absently as she looked at the sunscreen label. “That’s nice sweetie.” Her touch seemed designed to neither encourage nor discourage his factoids. If she acted more interested, which she sometimes did when he gave her the science behind his choices, he would elaborate; but he wasn’t getting that signal right now.
Jonathan continued, “I bought some for Candi and me too. I’m going to go give it to her unless you need me to do anything else for you. Like … re-pack that bag maybe?”
“No, no, that’s okay. You go ahead and see your sister. I’m going to finish up here. Do you need any help with packing your things?”
“Nope, I’m all done.” He smiled, proud of his organizational skills. He didn’t want to hurt his mother’s feelings, but it was obvious she had no idea how to pack a bag, so she would be the last person he’d ask for help. Her stuff was all wadded up with space around the edges. If she removed the air around her fluffy clothes and filled the spaces with smaller items and shoes, she’d have a much more efficiently packed bag, but it was useless trying to explain it to her because she would just brush it off. Jonathan was fully aware that not everyone shared his desire to be as efficient as possible, and he was okay with it.
“Good. Okay, be downstairs and ready to go at four o’clock. That’s when the shuttle is supposed to be here.”
Jonathan leaned in to give his mom a quick kiss on the cheek. “Love ya, Mom.”
“Love you too, sweetie,” she responded.
Jonathan took some sunscreen bottles his mother had put on the bed and left to go see his sister. He found her sitting on her bed, neatly folding a shirt to put into her suitcase. He noticed she had already taken care of the problem of small spaces around the clothes by shoving socks and sandals around the edges. He nodded in appreciation.
“Here,” he handed her the sunscreen he’d bought for her, thinking it might work as a good space stuffer too.
“What’s this for?” Candi asked, holding it in her palm, scanning the label.
Jonathan sat down on the edge of her bed, leaning back on his hands, staring at the posters of rock bands she had on her pink walls. “It’s sunscreen, silly. I bought the broad-spectrum sunscreen that is designed to protect against both UVB and UVA. Did you know that ... ”
“Yeah, okay, I don’t need to know the details.” She held up her hand in mock surrender.
“But, I was going to tell you that ... ”
“Okay, yeah – that’s great. You got me the best kind because you researched it and you know that this particular sunscreen will keep me from ever getting cancer or a tan. I get it. Thanks.” She sighed as she threw it into her suitcase.
“What’s wrong? You don’t want the sunscreen?” Jonathan was confused. Usually she liked hearing his factoids.
She sighed aloud. “It’s nothing. I’m just not super excited about this cruise is all.”
Jonathan sat bolt upright, turning to sit sideways on her bed. “But why? It’s gonna be fun! The ocean, pools ... ,” he started gesturing with his hands in his excitement, “ ... I mean they have like five pools on this ship – and all-night eating and dancing and drinks with umbrellas in ‘em. What’s not to like?” It sounded like heaven to him.
Candi shook her head in exasperation, her expression tinged with sadness. “Well, first of all, we have to go with Kevin and Sarah Peterson. What am I supposed to do about that?” She threw her hands up in frustration.
“Do? What do you mean, do? You don’t have to do anything. Just go and have fun.”
Candi’s voice rose in frustration. “How can I have fun if they’re there?”
“I’m sorry, Candi, I’m lost. How exactly do they stop you from having fun?”
“Jonathan, I love you but you are completely clueless.”
“Well, explain this mystery to the clueless idiot then.”
“Listen. I hate to break this to you, but they judge you. They judge us, Jonathan. You never notice, but I do. I can’t stand being around someone who’s looking at me, thinking I don’t measure up.” She put her head down and stared at her hands in her lap, obviously sad just thinking about it.
Jonathan leaned over and awkwardly patted her on the shoulder. “Hey, hey, don’t be sad about that. I think you’re just being paranoid. We just don’t know them very well, they’re probably really nice. We just need to give them a chance; you’ll see. Once we’re on the cruise and all this high school stuff is left behind us, they’ll wanna hang out. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hang with us? We’re fun!” He put on his best smile and bounced up and down a little bit, trying to warm his sister up to the idea of relaxing.
She laughed at his goofiness, reaching over to push him off her bed. She laughed harder as he lost his balance and fell off the bed sideways, his legs flying up in the air.
“Whatever. You go off and live in your dream world. I have to live in the real world where people like Kevin and Sarah Peterson hate kids like us just because we’re not as cool as they are.”
He flipped himself over and jumped to his feet, taking a fighting stance like he’d seen Jet Li do once in a movie.
“God, you are such a dork. Dorky and funny. Now leave. I have to finish packing.”
Jonathan transitioned back into his normal non-martial arts posture using loud, deep-breathing theatrics and lowering arm movements. “Wise move on your part – surrender before I have to seriously mess you up with one of my ninja moves.” He stopped short as if he had just remembered something. He held up his hand and started ticking off items on his fingers. “Oh, I meant to tell you ... don’t forget to pack your magnifying glass, compass, rain poncho, and Swiss army knife.”
“What?” Candi responded, completely unruffled at both being granted a pardon from one of her brother’s famous ninja moves and from his nonsensical switch of topics. “Are you serious? Are you packing all that stuff?”
“Of course I am.”
“Um, okay, then maybe you can explain why to this dummy here because I have no idea why I’d need a magnifying glass, compass and whatever else you just said, on a cruise. This isn’t summer camp.”
“Duh, in case the ship sinks, silly. If you wash up on a deserted island, you’re gonna wish you had all those things, so pack ‘em.” Jonathan nodded his head in a confident way and continued, “Did you know that on this particular cruise, we’re going to pass by no less than forty-two documented but uninhabited islands? And that there have been reports of pirates and ... ”
“Okaaayyyy, that’s enough of that. Thanks, Jonathan, but it’s time for you to go bye-bye now.” She stood up, taking him by the shoulders and spinning him around so he was facing the door. She pushed him out of her room and into the hallway.
“No, you really should listen to this stuff, it’s very interesting, I’m also bringing my pocket telescope and my pocket knife and ... ”
&n
bsp; ***
The rest of his sentence was cut off as Candi shut her door and turned up the volume on her stereo.
That kid is totally in the weeds, she thought to herself. He was older than she was by only nine months, but sometimes it seemed as though he was a lot younger. She sighed. There was no hope for him – he was going to be a nerd for life.
She, on the other hand, had high hopes for her social life; and going on a cruise with the very popular and very beautiful Sarah Peterson could make or break Candi’s next and last year in high school. If she could just get Sarah to like her, it could completely change her senior year.
She looked at herself in the full-length mirror and not for the first time lamented the baby fat that didn’t seem to want to leave her belly or her cheeks. This cruise was not going to help – she couldn’t imagine avoiding the buffets completely. She was a sucker for pecan pie and strawberry daiquiris. Her parents sometimes let her drink them without alcohol when they went out to dinner. Maybe I’ll get to try a real daiquiri on this cruise.
She sucked in her gut and her cheeks, turning sideways to see what she might look like if she didn’t have that extra five pounds. If she could just get Kevin Peterson to look at her one time, just once – and if that one time she was tan and her hair was just right, and she wasn’t so darn puffy – maybe he’d notice her, and then ...
The fantasy was too far-fetched to continue. She let her gut back out and stopped biting in her cheeks. The day Kevin Peterson – the most perfectly formed, hottest guy in high school – noticed her as a dateable girl and not some weirdo with unruly hair, puffy cheeks and short legs, was the day she was the last girl on Earth. It was too depressing to even dream about.
She turned her attention back to her packing. Should I pack the green bathing suit and the pink one, or just the green one? So many decisions to make and so little time. I wonder which color Kevin would like better.
Her magnifying glass stayed in the drawer of her desk, the poncho only making it into the bag because it was sitting right next to the pink bathing suit that she finally decided to take. The rest of the items on Jonathan’s list remained where they were. In their place went mint gum, sunglasses, eyeliner and waterproof mascara. A girl has to look her best on a cruise, and she only had this one shot to prove herself.
***
Kevin was standing at the refrigerator drinking out of the milk carton when he heard the front door slam.
“KEVIN!!”
He choked as the word slammed into his eardrums. He quickly put the cap back on the gallon jug, practically throwing it back into the fridge. How did she know I was drinking out of the carton? She was at the front door; he knew she couldn’t see the kitchen from there.
“What?!” he choked back, having hurriedly swallowed and wiped the small milk mustache off his top lip with the back of his hand. He leaned on the counter to make it look as if he was just hanging out in the kitchen for no reason – not drinking out of the milk jug without using a glass. That was a big no-no in the Peterson household.
Sarah rounded the corner from the front hall, and the first thing he noticed was her face. It was streaked with black stuff, from under her eyes to her jawline. Her eyes were blazing red and her nose was dripping snot. He quickly surmised that her current mood had nothing to do with his drinking-milk-out-of-the-jug infraction.
“What the hell happened to you?” was all he could think to say.
“What the hell happened to me? I’ll tell you what the hell happened to me! I just found your slut girlfriend messing around with my asshole ex-boyfriend in his bed, that’s what!”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Kevin responded, the words not yet completely sinking in.
“Yeah, you heard me right. I went over to Barry’s house to surprise him, only I’m the one who ended up surprised – because your girlfriend was there naked with Barry and his pants half off!”
Kevin was dumbstruck. He jerked himself off the counter, grabbing his phone out of his pocket. He tapped out and sent off a furious text message.
“I ... ” started Sarah.
“Don’t say anything,” he warned, menacingly, barely containing his rage. He stood there, staring at his phone, waiting for a response. The ticking of the kitchen clock and the humming of the refrigerator were the only sounds to be heard.
The beep of a return text reached their ears. Kevin took half a second to read the response and then punched the stainless steel refrigerator door, lightning-quick, leaving a dent in the front.
“Holy shit, Kev,” said Sarah, staring back and forth between the dent and his face, her face showing surprise at his quick and violent anger.
He turned to leave the kitchen through the other doorway.
“Wait!” Sarah came chasing after him. “What are we going to do about this?”
Kevin continued through the butler’s pantry, the dining room, and then down the hall and around the corner to the bottom of the stairs. “We’re not going to do anything. It’s over. They deserve each other. Move on.” His voice was cold and heartless.
Sarah stopped at the bottom of the stairs, as Kevin to them up, two at a time. “Move on? How can I move on? My heart is broken into a thousand pieces!”
He laughed bitterly, not looking back. “Please. That guy’s a complete ass, he didn’t deserve you anyway. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Story’s over. I’m gonna go on a cruise and find me a new piece of ass.”
Sarah ran up the stairs behind him. “But ... ”
“But nothin’, I told you. I’m not talking about it.”
He could hear her feet racing down the hall to catch up to him as he was entering his room. “But! ... ”
His response was a door slammed in her face.
***
The next thing Sarah heard was her brother’s stereo being turned on and up really loud.
She leaned her head on the door and said softly, “But I really liked him a lot.” The tears were burning her eyes, but she willed them not to fall. She hated feeling weak, and tears were a sign of weakness.
There was no response from Kevin – not that she had expected one. When her brother told her he wasn’t going to talk about something, that was it. He wasn’t the touchy feely type.
Sarah turned to go into her room. She planned to either cry where no one could see her until it was time to leave, or, if that didn’t make her feel better, to come up with a suitable means of revenge against her cheating ex-boyfriend and his slut. Entering her room, she looked around and couldn’t help but notice the tons of Barry mementoes all over the place – the photos, the stuffed animal he’d won for her at the school fair, the valentine flowers he had given her this year that she had hung and dried, the empty box of chocolates from her birthday. She felt a well of anger begin to build. How could I have been so blind?
***
Kevin planned to stay in his bedroom until he was sure his sister was gone. She could be a serious pain in the butt when it came to talking about ‘feelings’ or ‘emotions’. She didn’t get that even though they were twins and pretty close, nothing and no one was going to get him to talk about that crap.
He sat down on the bed and took his phone out of his pocket, looking at the text messages that had just been sent and received.
I HEAR YOU WERE WITH BARRY JUST NOW. IS IT TRUE?
YES ... SORRY
He flipped open the keypad and texted back: SCREW YOU. Then he went to her contact and deleted it – and all the pictures he had on his phone of her, even the one of her tits that he’d taken just last weekend when they were making out in his car near the park. For him, there was no going back, no forgiveness. Like he had said to Sarah earlier, there were plenty more chicks where this one had come from, and they were all the same too – worried about their hair, makeup and clothes, pretending that they enjoyed sports to get guys to like them back. Fun to party with but annoying after more than a few hours.
Deleting Gretchen off his phone made hi
m feel better. She was a fun girl, but he really didn’t care that she had cheated on him. Sure it pissed him off – no guy likes that feeling that someone else was more attractive to his girl than he was, but he really didn’t like her that much. She was cute and had a hot body, but she really didn’t have anything else going on. It got old really quick listening to her talk. He usually tuned her out after about ten minutes and then grunted or ‘mmm-hmmed’ every once in a while when it seemed like she was waiting for a response.
As he looked back on his past few girlfriends, he realized that this pretty much described all of them. He tended to go for the Barbie Doll look, not paying much attention to personality. If the chemistry started flowing when he checked her out, she was a possible candidate. His sister had once accused him of purposely picking the dumbest, shallowest girls to go out with. At the time he’d disagreed, but making a more honest evaluation now, he thought there might be more than a grain of truth to that statement.
He shrugged his shoulders at this thought. At least they aren’t too complicated. I’ve got too much going on with rugby and potential college scholarships to worry about this chick garbage. I’ve got plenty of time to get serious with the marrying kind.
Kevin had a theory. There were girls who were the dating kind – like Gretchen – and there were girls who were the marrying kind. So far, he hadn’t bothered to get to know any of those. They were dangerous, in fact; they could distract him from what was important – his goals. Besides ... there was no point in hooking up with the marrying kind of girl, since he didn’t plan on settling down until he was done with college. He had some serious wild oats to sow before then.
He fell back onto his bed and laced his hands behind his head, imagining all the gorgeous single girls who were going to be on this cruise. That instantly made him feel much better. Lookout ladies, Kevin is back in business. He smiled. That shithead Barry and airhead Gretchen really did deserve each other – he hadn’t been lying to Sarah or just trying to make her feel better when he said Barry didn’t deserve her.
Still, even though his sister was better off without Barry, she didn’t deserve to have her heart crushed. Kevin knew how much she really liked the guy. Her problem was she couldn’t see people for who they really were. She kept her thoughts and her interests shallow so she didn’t have to feel too much. They were very much alike in that way.