by Tina Marie
“I guess.”
“Listen, I need to go and pick up Nikki from my in-laws. If Kah is doing better later, y’all should come by. We can throw some meat on the grill and just chill. I’ll invite O.”
“I’ll let you know. I don’t want to bring him out, if he is still feverish.”
“I get that, so just let me know. I’m going to cook anyway because Chaos is coming over to see Nikki.”
“Oh, so Chaos gon’ be there?”
“Yes, Nicco said after their meeting at four and a few errands, they’d be back here. I was going to just cook something but if y’all come through, grilling sounds better.”
“Well, if your Godson gets up with no fever and is doing better, we’ll come.”
I smiled. I wanted her and Chaos to hit it off, so I said, “perfect. Just make sure you come because you know O’. She’d been have sucked and fucked him before sundown.”
“That’s even better,” she said.
“How so?”
“Because if he’d touch that ho’, that would make it easy for me to be turned off. I’d never touch a nigga that fucked with her. I mean, that bitch never closes her legs to these dudes.”
I laughed because I knew she was telling the truth. But, who was I to judge? She was a grown ass woman and it wasn’t like my shit didn’t stink. My husband was in some illegal shit, but I was knee-deep in that shit right with him. “Well, every word you speak is true, but it’s her pussy and she can pop it on whomever she pleases.”
“True.”
“Let me go, so I can pick up Nikki,” I said, getting up from the sofa. It was Saturday and I hadn’t done a damn thing all morning and it was time to get in gear and move around.
“Okay, hopefully, we will see you later. If not, Monday morning for Kah to go to school.”
“Okay, but I hope to see y’all before then.”
“I don’t know Ash, maybe,” she said and we ended the call. I knew she wanted to come and see Chaos because she had never confessed to being attracted to any man since Juice ripped her heart out. I was no matchmaker, but from what had transpired with Chaos beating a man down in a public place, giving her cash, and getting her check was an indication that he was a lil soft for Cay, because I’d never heard of him getting all heroic for any female or giving one money. That was new and I had a feeling that Chaos may have been just what my best friend needed and I already knew that she was perfect for him.
Chapter Eight
Cayane
Throwing the phone down on the bed, I went to the closet to find some just in case outfits for dinner. I knew I was only hyped to go because he would be there. I felt like a kid again. I hadn’t felt like this since Juice first swept me off my feet. Looking at the four dresses, three rompers, and several shirts I had laid out, I sighed, not liking any of them. I wanted to wear the short, skin tight coral romper with the deep vee cut. But I knew that was doing too much for a damn cookout at my best friend’s house. Ash would probably have some damn tights and a tank top on.
I settled on a pair of ripped washed jean capris and a white tank that said Black Girls Rock in sparkly red and gold letters. My red tie-up sandals would have to do because my wardrobe was limited. I took a bubble bath, even though it was the middle of the day. Leaning my head back against the porcelain tub, I found myself daydreaming about Chaos aka Ca’Shon. I whispered his real name out loud, just to hear how it sounded. It made me smile in a way I hadn’t for a long time. Finally, I got out and began drying myself off.
“Mommy!” my baby called out, as he wandered into my room rubbing his eyes. “I feel all better.” As if to prove his point, he began jumping on my bed. “Can we do something fun now? I’m bored.”
“Ok Kah, let me check if your fever is gone and, if it is, we can go to your God parents’ house.”
He lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. He loved going there. I didn’t blame him either. His room looked like a toy store and he had a bike, scooter, and playset in the backyard. Grabbing the thermometer, I stuck it under his tongue and waited. The numbers read ninety eight point nine. Taking Kah’s temp for the third time, it confirmed that his fever had disappeared. “Ok Kah, let’s see if you have an appetite.” Fixing him a late lunch, I sat back and waited to see how his stomach was feeling.
I waited until my baby finished every bite on his plate. Since he just consumed a turkey sandwich, chips, a fruit cup, and a glass of juice, and then ran around the living room with his nerf gun, I guess he was ok to go to this cook out Ashlee was planning. I felt my stomach cramp at the thought of being in the same space as Chaos again. I was pacing the living room, trying to decide if I should lie to my best friend and skip going to her house. If I told her Kah was still sick, she wouldn’t mind. She was all about her God son. Damn, she would probably come over here and check on him. “URGHHH,” I said in frustration. I wasn’t ready to face Chaos again in real life.
“Come and get your clothes on, so we can go.” My baby zoomed past me before the words were out of my mouth. Washing him up, I picked out some blue jean cut-off shorts from the GAP and a red and blue GAP logo shirt. Last minute, I added a white and red pullover hoodie since it was still spring and could get cool at night. While he was getting dressed, I finished getting ready. Looking at my hair, I just added some mousse in it to accentuate the curls I already had. Leaving it loose around my shoulders, I added my hair store silver hoops and some red lip stain I had. I thought I looked cute but not desperate.
****
I closed my eyes, wishing I was invisible once I saw Nicco’s workers enter the backyard. I hated the way that Dizzy always eye-fucked me when he was around. I swear, had I known that he was going to be here, I would have followed my first mind and stayed the hell home. “Hey Cay, when you gonna let me take you to the trap and blow your back out?” he asked with a big ass grin on his face.
“When ya mama stop smoking crack, so basically never. Now, get the hell away from me.” Rolling my eyes, I made sure to show him how annoyed I was. I had no idea why Nicco put up with him or invited him into his home.
“What the fuck you say about my mama, bitch! You are just mad I only want to fuck ya ass and not wife you.” His hand snaked out and grabbed my arm. Before I could show my ass, someone interrupted.
“She said she was a fucking crack head. That explains a lot. If you want to keep that hand, I suggest you move it, ASAP.” Chaos had arrived and just in time to save me, once again. Feeling aggravated with both of these idiots, I went to the other side of the spacious yard. I took a seat in a chair near a huge tree. Luckily, no one was there and the tree helped to hide me from view.
Of course, Chaos arrived like a fucking storm. I sat back and watched everyone around me. As soon as Olivia spotted Chaos, she was acting out the part of hoe of the year. Her tiny jean shorts were cut so low, I could tell she ain’t have any panties on. As she bent over in front of Chaos, she made her ass clap and it looked like she was wearing a jean thong. I almost threw up when Chaos slapped her on her ass. I hated that I even gave a fuck, but I felt disappointment.
“What you doing hiding in the corner?” Nicco asked as he stepped in front of me, interrupting my pity party.
“Staying out the way.” I shrugged.
“Someone told me you finally ready to move up out the ghetto.” I glared at him because I hoped he or Ashlee didn’t dare tell Chaos I was taking his advice. Especially after today, seeing him touching Olivia had me salty as hell. “Be mad all you want to, but we going to look at a townhouse tomorrow first thing before you change your mind. Now, stop sitting over here alone like a fucking stranger, we’re your family.”
Shaking my head, I got up because I knew he would force me to move, even if I didn’t want to. “Hey girl, where you been? And what do you have on? You can never dress up yourself even just a little. No make-up or nothing. Yo ass just be coming out the house like you just rolled out of bed and shit.” Looking down at what I had on I remained unbothered. Olivia felt lik
e we all should be dressed up like we was working the stroll twenty-four seven. I wasn’t looking for a man anyway I was at my bestie house
“Aint shit wrong with what I got on. This is a cook out, not the bar. As long as my son looks fresh, I’m good.” I intentionally eyed O’s two kids, who had on dirty, too small clothes. My comment was either going to piss her off or go over her head. Either way, I didn’t give a fuck.
“Girl shit, my kids would look good too if Ashlee and Nicco bought all they stuff. Anyway, I was just trying to help ya uptight ass. You need a man or friend or something. Didn’t you ever ask yourself why you couldn’t keep Juice? That nigga left you because you didn’t know how to step up as a woman.”
Was this chic on drugs, like drugs drugs not the soft shit, because I clearly left Juice after he almost killed my son by driving him head on into traffic? It wasn’t that I didn’t have a come-back; I just felt like Olivia’s ass wasn’t even worth it. More and more lately, I noticed her little slick ass digs she dropped towards me. It wasn’t like she was ugly but, because she was such a hoe, no one could get past that. Added in with her ratchet behavior that was turned on all the time, she was never going to get a good one. All I could come up with was she was jealous of me.
“I swear, that nigga right there can fuck me til’ my ovaries pop out,” she commented with her gaze towards Chaos. Like she had said red rum in a mirror three times, the devil was summoned and began walking our way.
“Wassup ma?” he asked, standing right in front of me. I just nodded, hoping he would keep it moving. No such luck I realized, once he stayed in the same spot. “Where Kah at, he feeling better?” he asked as his gaze searched out my son.
“Yea, he is good, thanks again for everything. He is over there playing on the slide.” I pointed across the yard.
“Cool, you not about to go make a nigga a plate or some shit?” he shot back as he sat down and drank some of his Heineken.
I was about to laugh in his face until Olivia opened her fucking mouth. “I can make you a plate baby,” she said, leaning down so he could see her boobs. She got so close, she actually fell over and almost in his lap. We both burst out laughing when her ass hit the ground. It was fucked up because Chaos could have caught her, but he didn’t. Getting up, I went to make him a plate of food, even though I had no idea what the hell he ate.
“Kahlan, come eat baby!” I called out as I grabbed three plates and went over to the grill.
“Umm, you about to eat two plates or something,” Ashlee said, side eyeing me. I could see the smirk around her mouth; she thought she was fucking slick. “You getting your future man some food, I see you, girl.”
“Who the fuck is her future man?” Nicco said as he wrapped his arms around Ash and kissed her neck. I loved the love they shared; it was so real. Even with their fertility issues, Nicco never left my girl out. He treated her like a fucking queen. That was the kind of love I wanted some day and, if I couldn’t have it, then I would stay single, fuck it. “Cat got y’all tongues or something? I knew I asked a fucking question.”
“Babe chill, I was talking about Chaos. I swear, you be so jealous, like I got a whole nigga hiding in my back pocket and I take him out to play as soon as your back is turned.” Ashlee was laughing, but I noticed Nicco’s face was still bawled up.
“Naw, he ain’t for you, Cay, leave him alone. You want a new man, give Dizzy or one of those other niggas a shot. And Ashlee, stop encouraging the bullshit. You know that nigga Chaos ain’t right in the fucking head, so why you trying to get your girl involved in that?”
Ashlee literally stomped her feet in response before making our plates. I walked away with food for three, ignoring the argument that was about to happen. “You need to mind ya fucking business,” was the last thing I heard from Nicco as I walked away.
Sitting the plate down in front of Chaos, I seated Kah across from him. I grabbed them both a bottle of water before I settled in next to my son.
“Damn lil man, you really gonna eat all of that by yourself? Let me get a piece of those ribs; your momma was stingy on my plate.” Chaos talked to Kah through the whole meal, causing me to like him all over again. Even before the incident, Juice never spent any time with our son. It was like he was an inconvenience to him.
“Chaos, I have kids since you seem to like them so much,” Olivia butted in, pointing to her son and daughter who were playing in a pile of dirt. I guess she got over her embarrassing moment and was back for more. Everyone had grabbed food and settled at the picnic tables to eat. I didn’t think her having kids was going to lure Chaos in, but we would see.
“Girl, I don’t fucking like kids. I like this kid. Your kids look like they need a bath and they hair combed. You be combing they shit? Hell, do you know who they daddy is, because they look daddyless?”
I spit my water out when he said that shit. Olivia looked like she was turning purple, and Nicco was choking on his food. Chaos was lethal with his words, and I swear he just murdered O’s ass. I wanted to feel bad for my childhood friend but, at the moment, I just couldn’t. Olivia sat down and didn’t say shit else. Good, I hope she gave up on her and Chaos; she could move on to the next.
“Nicco, can I have some money so me and Nikki can go somewhere later?” Tam said damn near in his ear. She was standing behind him with her arms around his neck and her lips damn near on his cheek. I glanced at my bestie to see what the fuck was up, and I could tell she was uncomfortable. As he went in his pocket for the cash, I saw her face go from awkward to angry.
“Hey Tam, you need to back the fuck up. The way you got your hands on Nicco is all kinds of fucked up. See, Ashlee too damn nice to check ya little ass, but I don’t give a fuck and you know it. That’s your brother in law so back the fuck up,” I checked her little ass real quick. I didn’t know what she was trying to pull, but I didn’t trust her. Her ass had been sneaky as fuck since I had known her and that was her whole life.
“Damn Cayane, it wasn’t that serious,” she whined like a small child. I swear, she needed a job and some bills of her own. Bucking at her, she jumped back and fixed her face. “Sorry, I swear I didn’t mean nothing and Ash, I know you said no more money, but it’s not for me really. I just wanted Nikki to have some fun while she was here, so it’s for her.” Ashlee’s face calmed down a little. I knew she had a soft spot for Nikki. Shit, we all did; she was a good girl.
“Nikki, I got you little cuz.” Chaos threw a stack in front of her as he cut his eyes at Tam. I guess he could see through her bullshit too. Nikki jumped up and hugged her cousin, thanking him. And once again, Chaos earned points in my book.
The rest of the evening went by fast but was fun. I tore up a few people in Spades and probably gained a few pounds, I ate so much. Before I knew it, Kah was leaning on my side half asleep. “Hey, I’m about to go everyone; my baby is knocked out.”
After saying my goodbyes, I picked him up as best I could and grabbed my purse. Struggling to the gate, I felt someone lift him out of my arms.
“You really hard headed as fuck. You don’t know how to ask for help.” Chaos had my baby in his arms like he didn’t weigh shit. Shrugging, I kept walking to my car, not offering a real answer. Clicking the locks, he put him in his booster seat and buckled him in.
“Thank you,” I said as I leaned against my door.
“No problem. Get home safe.”
“What are you about to do?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“Go get my dick wet, why, wasssup?” His rude ass didn’t crack a smile, so I knew he wasn’t joking. I didn’t even mean to say shit to him and now, I felt like a fool.
“Oh ok, cool. I thought maybe we could hang out or whatever,” I stuttered on the last part and I could feel sweat on the back of my neck.
“Hang out for what? I don’t even like yo’ ass. You have a good night ma,” he said as he walked away.
Chapter Nine
Chaos
The look on shorty face when I told her I ain
’t like her ass almost made me turn around. She looked like I had slapped the shit out of her. I just wasn’t that kind of nigga to be running behind no female or taking her serious. Would I have fucked Cayane, hell yea! I could picture lil mama face down, ass up. As stuck up as she was, I just knew her pussy was tight. That shit probably felt brand new. But I couldn’t let Cay go out like that, with just some stiff dick and a number to a burner phone. That’s how I treated these girls, and she wouldn’t be any different. And Ashlee was walking around all day trying to play miss match maker and shit, not knowing I would rip her friend’s heart out and keep it pushing. I didn’t give a fuck if she was her friend or not.
I didn’t need to reflect on why I was the way I was. I grew up in a fucked up situation, pops long gone and a bitter ass momma. She didn’t give a fuck if I ate, washed up, or went to school. All she cared about was a check from the state as long as I was up in her shit. That was why I hit the streets young as fuck. I wish I would have stuck around so she could lay up and watch fucking Maury and drink Henney.
As soon as a nigga left, I made sure to call those nosey fuckers at the welfare office and turn her in. Her bitch ass needed to go get a job, work hard like I had to. I didn’t care if she washed dishes or popped her pussy, whatever kept the lights on. When I saw her on the streets, I always made sure to throw a dollar bill her way. Because that was the same amount she spent on me growing up.
The only family I had was Nicco, Nikki, and their parents. Even though my uncle was a preacher and shit, he accepted me for who I was. It was funny because he always wanted Nicco to be a “good” boy and follow in his footsteps, but I guess everyone knew I wasn’t going to turn out to be shit. Well, at least not shit they were willing to brag on.
Thinking about Cayane had my shit on brick so, as I drove, I passed up my crib and hit up ole girl from the cell phone spot. I didn’t have a lot of bitches in town yet so, for now, she had better put them jaws to work. Dialing her number, the shit didn’t even ring one good time before she answered. Ole thirsty ass girl. “Yo Darcy, come open the door.” I parked in her driveway and the porch light was on. Walking up, she stood there butt ass naked, not caring if the neighbors saw or nothing. I just shook my head and walked past her.