Chilled by the coolness of her reception, the words she had been hoping to say died on her lips.
‘I thought we’d eat inside,’ he remarked. ‘There seems to be a storm brewing.’
As though to add weight to his words, there was a flash of lightning and a distant rumble of thunder.
His manner that of a courteous but rather aloof host, he pulled out a chair for her and proceeded to pour the wine and serve the meal.
The steak was done to perfection, the salad deliciously crisp but, after the traumas of the past few days, Sera found herself with hardly any appetite.
Keir didn’t seem to have much either, she noted thoughtfully. Though he kept his eyes studiously on his plate, he ate very little and without any evidence of enjoyment.
Sipping her wine, she made a pretence of eating while the silence coiled like barbed wire, pointed and painful, tearing her nerves to shreds.
She wondered what he was thinking as, his expression bleak as winter, he refilled her wine glass, leaving his own untouched.
He had fought hard to take her from Martin. Surely, having won the fight, he should look jubilant rather than like a man who was staring into the depths of hell?
When the meal was over and the coffee and brandy poured, seeming to make an effort to shrug off some of the malaise that was bothering him, he broke the silence to say, ‘The storm appears to have moved away. Shall we take our coffee outside?’
Picking up her cup and glass, she led the way onto the terrace and took a seat in one of the loungers.
Keir followed and sat down beside her.
Their coffee cups were emptied and placed on the table without another word being spoken.
They had shared silences before, many times, but they had been comfortable, companionable ones, not tense and strained like this.
Suddenly, determined to find out what devil was riding him, Sera asked. ‘What made you suspect that Cheryl was hiding the truth about the accident?’
‘I didn’t exactly suspect anything,’ he admitted after a moment. ‘It was just a gut feeling that there might be more to it than met the eye. So I decided to try a spot of bluff.’
‘I can’t tell you how glad I am that it succeeded.’
‘It wasn’t difficult,’ he said dismissively. ‘Once I laid it on the line that I wanted the truth, I think Cheryl was actually relieved to get it off her chest.’
Her face full of feeling, Sera reached out a hand and touched his arm. ‘But, if you hadn’t gone over there and pressured her, she might never have told me. I would have married a man I didn’t love and continued to feel guilty until my dying day.’
When he said nothing, she added quietly, ‘I just want to thank you and tell you how truly grateful I am.’
Once again he failed to respond. There was something distinctly chilling about his hard profile, a studied aloofness, that made her withdraw her hand and relapse into silence.
Why did he seem so off-put, almost angered by her thanks? Was he just fed up with the whole thing? Waiting to wash his hands of her?
No, surely not.
But there had to be something to account for his attitude…
Perhaps, having achieved his aim, Keir didn’t want her any longer? Maybe that one night of fiery passion had been enough to burn out his obsession?
No, she just didn’t believe it. He had wanted her then with a fierce, burning desire, and an inner certainty told her that he still wanted her.
Whatever was troubling him, it wasn’t that.
So what was it?
There was only one way to find out.
Choosing her words with care, she said, ‘I’ve been wondering why you put me in the guest room?’
Coldly, he asked, ‘Where did you expect to be?’
‘Sharing your room.’
His face set and hard, he remarked, ‘It’s obvious you don’t have a very high opinion of me.’
Before she had time to tell him that was where she wanted to be and that his scruples were unnecessary, he went on, ‘I heard you tell Rothwell that freedom was what mattered most.’
‘Yes, but I—’
‘So what are you intending to do, now you have your freedom?’
More than a shade nonplussed by the curt question, and unwilling to look as if she was expecting him to support her, she answered, ‘I—I suppose the first thing will be to get a job. Then I’ll need to find somewhere to live…’
Rallying, she added, ‘Unless you want me to live with you?’
‘I don’t,’ he said shortly.
‘So will you come to see me?’ she hazarded.
‘No.’ The monosyllable was uncompromising.
‘B-but I thought you wanted me,’ she stammered.
‘You thought wrongly.’
Flushing, she cried, ‘It’s what you made me think! You said you wanted me back. You told me you wanted me in your bed—’
‘Have you ever heard the old saying “Be careful what you wish for, it may be granted”?’
He watched as all the colour drained from her face leaving it paper-white. Then, looking straight ahead, his voice flat, devoid of emotion, he suggested, ‘There’s a position vacant at Sutherlands that might suit you. Christopher Redwood, one of my top executives, is in need of a good PA. The post carries an excellent salary and there’s an apartment vacant in one of the blocks I own. It’s unfurnished and it’s on the poky side, but it would serve at least for the time being.
‘Of course, you can stay here until you’ve had a chance to fix it up and buy some furniture… There shouldn’t be much danger of running into Rothwell, even if he does come back straight away. Though I rather think Kathleen will have the wit to keep him where he is for the next few days at least.
‘I’ll see that you get an advance on your salary, so you’ll be able to buy whatever you need without any financial pressure.’
Her heart like lead, Sera said stiffly, ‘Thank you, but in the circumstances I don’t think—’
‘You’ve no need to worry,’ Keir broke in sardonically. ‘I won’t be around. I’m planning to go back to England.’
‘Planning to go back to England?’ she echoed blankly. ‘But I thought you’d come home to stay?’
‘That was my original intention, but I’ve changed my mind.’
‘Why?’
‘Perhaps I find New York no longer suits me.’
She didn’t believe a word of it. Keir had always loved New York. He regarded it as his home.
So why suddenly should he be going back to England? It didn’t make sense. Unless…
Her mouth dry, she asked, ‘When are you thinking of going back?’
‘Tomorrow morning…’
Tomorrow morning! There wasn’t much time. It might be now or never… And she would need to use shock tactics.
‘I’ll get a seat on Concorde,’ he was going on, ‘as soon as I’ve made arrangements about your job.’
She jumped to her feet, sending the brandy glass and its contents flying. ‘You can keep your job and your apartment and your advance!
‘Do you remember what you said only last Thursday? No? Well, I do! You said, “If you finish with Rothwell and come back to me, I’ve enough money to be able to buy you a diamond ring for every finger, and provide whatever kind of lifestyle you fancy—in short, give you everything your heart desires.’”
Looking startled, he agreed, ‘Very well, if that’s what you want, I’ll make you a generous allowance and—’
‘You can keep your “generous allowance”,’ she spat at him. ‘If you care so little for me, I wouldn’t take a bad cent from you. I don’t need your help. Go on, run away, why don’t you?’
He got up, towering over her, his face furious. ‘What makes you think I’m running away?’
‘Aren’t you?’ she challenged fiercely.
With a short, sharp sigh, he said, ‘All right, call it running away if you want to. But if we were both still in New York I couldn’t trust myself
to keep away from you.’
Her heart soared. So she’d been right all along. He did still want her. A year ago she’d been too proud to fight for him and she’d lost him. She had no intention of making the same mistake a second time.
Turning to face him, her green eyes holding a plea, she said, ‘I don’t want you to keep away from me. I want to be with you, to share your bed for as long as you want me.’
‘Payment for services rendered?’ His voice was harsh. ‘You once told me money couldn’t buy you. I don’t want gratitude to be the currency.’
‘But, it isn’t…’
It was obvious that he didn’t believe her.
She took a deep breath. ‘In any case why should you worry about my motivation when you’ve already made it plain that yours was the need for revenge?’
Heavily, he said, ‘Any desire for revenge died when I discovered the truth. You have a highly developed sense of moral values but, to a lesser degree, so have I. I find I can’t ask you to exchange one cage for another.’
‘But with you it wouldn’t be a cage.’
‘I fail to see the difference. You didn’t love Rothwell and you don’t love me—’
‘But I do,’ she said desperately.
‘There’s no point in lying to me. When I asked you, you admitted you didn’t… And I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with Rothwell. He asked you if you loved me, and you said no.’
‘That isn’t what was said,’ she protested. ‘His exact words were, “You’re not going to tell me you love Sutherlands?” And mine were, “No, I’m not.’”
‘That’s splitting hairs and, in any case, it makes no difference. You may be willing to stay with me and I know I can make you want me… But that isn’t enough.
‘You’re the sort of woman who should marry a man you love, a man who wants children and is happy to share a lifetime’s commitment. The best thing I can do for both our sakes is leave you alone…’
For both our sakes… That phrase brought on fresh doubts. Was she mistaken in thinking he was setting her free for her sake. Did he really not care for her at all?
But like a beacon in the dark came the memory of his tenderness, the way he had called her ‘my love’. Surely he must feel something for her?
She decided to stake everything on one last gamble.
‘Then, I’ve got problems,’ she informed him crisply. ‘The man I love doesn’t want to marry me… And most men who want children usually prefer them to be their own.’
Keir gave her a narrow-eyed, assessing look. ‘You’d better explain that last remark.’
‘You made love to me last night. More than once. I could well be pregnant.’
‘What?’ he demanded.
‘I could well be pregnant,’ she repeated clearly.
‘You told me you were protected.’
‘That was over a year ago. My hormone imbalance righted itself and, after the accident I didn’t take any more pills.’
‘Oh, my God!’ He sounded stunned.
‘Of course, if you still want to leave for England tomorrow, I’ll quite understand. No man likes to feel trapped, and I’m sure I can deal with things if—’
Grasping her shoulders, he shook her little. ‘If you mean what I think you mean—’
‘No, I wasn’t thinking of abortion. Lots of single mothers cope alone, manage somehow—’
‘I’m sure that’s true. But I don’t want you to be one of them. If you are pregnant we’ll get married straight away and—’
She pulled herself free. ‘Married! Do you imagine for one instant that I’d marry a man who has just told me he wants out?’
‘Don’t be a fool, Sera. You know quite well it was you I was thinking of.’
‘I don’t know anything of the kind and, if you think I’d be willing to wait and see if I’m pregnant before you marry me, you’ve got another think coming! I wouldn’t tie any man who didn’t care a fig for me and you made your feelings quite clear when you said, “Be careful what you wish for, it may be granted.’”
Ignoring his attempt to interrupt, she rushed on, ‘You accused me of not loving you, but you don’t even want me any longer, let alone love me.’
‘Of course I love you,’ he said roughly.
It was what she’d been waiting to hear but, knowing she wasn’t home and dry yet, she said haughtily, ‘There’s no need to lie to me, just because I might be having your baby.’
‘I’m not lying to you.’ He sighed. ‘God knows, I’ve never stopped loving you. That was why, when it came to the crunch, I knew I couldn’t let you—’
Putting a finger to his lips, she asked softly, ‘Do you really love me? If you do, show me. I’m tried of words.’
Stepping closer, she put her arms around his neck and, her face hidden against his throat, pressed her slender body to his. ‘Please, Keir, make love to me.’
For a moment he hesitated and she held her breath.
Then he swept her up into his arms, saying huskily, ‘Can’t be too careful with all that broken glass lying around.’
Carrying her through to his bedroom, he laid her down on the king-size bed and, with barely restrained eagerness, began to undo the buttons of her silk blouse.
Drawing it aside, he unfastened her bra and, burying his face against the soft swell of her breasts, muttered, ‘Oh, my heart’s darling, if you only knew how much I love you. This last year’s been hell… Please say you’ll marry me.’
Carefully, she questioned, ‘Suppose I’m not pregnant?’
Drawing back a little, he urged, ‘Marry me whether you are or not. You once said you loved me. If I’d had the slightest hope that you still love me, I would have asked you the moment you…’
The words died on his lips as suddenly, sharply, his eyes were focused on her breasts.
Reaching out with fingers that weren’t quite steady, he lifted the chain that lay in the valley between them. The look on his face as he stared at the silver ring it held almost made her cry.
Hoarsely, he asked, ‘How long have you been wearing this?’
‘For over a year. Ever since the night you discovered it was missing from my finger. The only time I’ve taken it off was last night. I was afraid that if you saw it you’d realize I’d never stopped loving you.’
‘I only wish I had seen it,’ he said fervently. ‘It would have saved a day of hell. Fighting with my conscience, trying to persuade myself that I could make you happy, that I wouldn’t be just another Rothwell… You see, until last night, I’d tried to tell myself that you might still feel something for me and when you swore you didn’t, I was shattered…
‘Woman, if you only knew what you’ve put me through…’
‘I’m sorry.’ She touched his cheek with a tender hand and ran her fingertip down to the cleft in his strong chin. ‘But I thought, then, that I’d have to go back to Martin… That was why I was forced to lie to you.’
‘So what are you going to do to make it up to me?’
She gave him her lovely, luminous smile. ‘I’ll think of something.’
‘First, let me put this back where it belongs.’
Taking the chain from around her neck, he removed the ring and slipped it onto her finger. ‘That will have to do until I can buy you something better.’
‘I don’t want anything better.’ Drawing his head down to her, she kissed him with a sweet and tender passion. ‘All I’ve ever wanted is your love.’
‘It’s yours.’ He returned her kiss with interest.
‘Will you always love me?’
Something in her tone made him lift his head and look at her suspiciously. ‘Is there any reason why I shouldn’t?’
‘Well… I’m afraid I’ve lied to you again… And, now you know I love you and everything’s all right, I thought perhaps I’d better tell you the truth.’
‘I think you better had,’ he agreed drily.
‘When I told you I might be pregnant… Well, it isn’t likely.’
/>
‘Why isn’t it likely?’
‘Because I’m still taking the pill. Though the doctor did tell me that the slight hormone imbalance I suffer from should right itself when I do start having children…’
Then, a shade anxiously, she asked, ‘You’re not angry with me?’
‘No, I’m not angry. I hope we’ll have a family in the not too distant future, but I can wait. It will be nice to have you all to myself for a year or so.’
Raising a quizzical brow, he queried, ‘Now, you’re sure you’ve no more confessions to make?’
‘Only one.’
‘And what’s that?’
Mischievously, she said, ‘I know you told me you weren’t athletic enough to enjoy making love in a car…but I once dreamt you made love to me in the bath…’
‘Really?’
‘Then you dried me all over and carried me back to bed and…’ Drawing his dark head down, she whispered the rest in his ear.
Shaken between passion and laughter, he said, ‘I think I can manage that, especially with a bit of cooperation.’
She kissed his chin and assured him, ‘You can have my fullest cooperation.’
Interestedly, he asked, ‘Do you happen to have any more erotic fantasies?’
‘Dozens,’ she informed him cheerfully. ‘Enough to last for at least the first few years of our marriage.’ Impishly, she added, ‘I’m not sure what we’ll do after that.’
Laughing, he assured her, ‘By that time, my dearest love, I should be experienced enough to be able to think of a few of my own.’
ISBN: 978-1-4592-0293-1
THE DETERMINED HUSBAND
First North American Publication 2001.
Copyright © 2000 by Lee Wilkinson.
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
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