‘Well, be careful.’ Jen gave him a final hug and climbed into the front seat.
‘Sp-sp-sp!’ Pa raised his hand in farewell.
The doors slammed, the engine roared, and Jen and Monica were gone.
The four of them stood on the pavement in the afternoon sun.
Clancy ventured, ‘Which one is Pip’s house, Tash?’
Tash frowned down the street after the vanished car, pulled out her ponytail and retied it.
Toby looked from Clancy to Tash and back again. ‘You do know where it is, right?’
Tash didn’t answer. Clancy faltered, ‘Not exactly …’
Toby said, ‘I can look it up on my phone, if you want?’
Tash’s frown deepened. It was clear she’d rather gnaw off her own hand than admit she needed help.
Clancy took a breath. ‘Thanks, Toby. That would be great.’
Crossly Tash seized the handles of Pa’s wheelchair. ‘It’s Garner Street,’ she said shortly.
‘Got it,’ said Toby after a moment. ‘It’s a bit of a walk.’
‘Why didn’t you look it up before, Tash?’ said Clancy.
‘Use your peabrain, Clarice,’ snapped Tash. ‘A: looked it up how? And B: if they’d taken us straight there, they would have seen Pip being all, what are you doing here?’
‘Hang on,’ said Toby. ‘Your aunt doesn’t know you’re coming?’
‘Cockatoo Bay isn’t that big,’ said Tash briskly, beginning to march Pa along the pavement. ‘It won’t take long.’
‘It looks big enough to me,’ muttered Clancy.
Toby gave her a conspiratorial grin.
Pa put up his hand to shield his eyes from the sun’s glare. ‘Sp-sp-sp!’
‘I agree,’ said Clancy. ‘We should have brought hats.’
‘Give me a freaking break,’ said Tash. ‘I can’t think of everything.’
They traipsed along the streets for what felt like hours, but was only about forty-five minutes, from one end of Cockatoo Bay to the other. Sweat trickled down Clancy’s back and her eyes stung. She thought she might pass out, right there on the footpath. Only the shame of fainting in front of Toby kept her upright. Pa slumped in his chair, hiding his face behind his hand. The sun seemed brighter by the sea, as if it were glittering off salt crystals suspended in the air.
‘I can push for a bit,’ offered Toby.
Clancy thought that Tash would refuse, but silently her sister stepped back and allowed Toby to take the handles.
‘Wow,’ said Toby after a few moments. ‘I can really feel my arm muscles.’
‘Yep,’ said Tash grimly.
Toby was still gamely pushing when Clancy, who was supposed to be navigating, squinted at the next signpost and gave a yelp. ‘Garner Street!’
‘Number ten,’ said Tash. ‘There it is.’
They halted outside a dilapidated fibro house, one of the old beach shacks, painted a faded blue, with a sagging verandah. The house stood like a lonely island in a sea of yellowed grass, with a single lemon tree drooping to one side. A battered old car slumped in the cracked driveway.
‘Well,’ said Tash. ‘Here goes nothing.’
She ran up the steps to the front door. Steps, noted Clancy automatically. That’s not good. Now they were finally here, what was Pip going to say?
‘Sp-sp,’ groaned Pa, waving toward the shade of the lemon tree, and Toby heaved the chair across the grass. Clancy huddled behind Pa as Tash rapped at the screen door, then jumped back as the door smacked open and Pip stepped outside.
‘Oh. My. God,’ said Pip. ‘You’re actually here.’
Clancy barely recognised her aunt. Pip’s thick hair was dragged back in a bushy ponytail, and her belly ballooned out in front of her, her T-shirt rising up over the taut globe of skin. Half-drum, half-human, a built-in one-woman band.
‘Oh, fabulous,’ said Tash in disgust. ‘You’re pregnant.’
‘Sp-sp-sp?’ asked Pa in fretful bewilderment.
‘Pip’s having a baby,’ Clancy told him. ‘You’re going to be a grandfather again! We’re going to have a baby cousin!’
‘Hah!’ said Pa.
Pip pushed past Tash and waddled down the steps to give him a hug.
‘Sp-sp-sp!’
‘Sorry, Dad.’ Pip looked at Clancy. ‘I don’t get it.’
‘He says congratulations. He’s really happy for you.’
Though in fact, Pa looked more stunned than happy. ‘Sp-sp-sp?’
‘Why didn’t you tell us?’ translated Clancy.
Pip’s face screwed up. ‘Long story … not important now.’ Her voice hardened and Clancy’s gut twisted like a wrung rag. ‘Do you guys have any idea how much trouble you’re in? What the hell are you doing here? And who’s this?’ She glared at Toby. ‘When Polly rang, I told her she was crazy to think you might come, but no, here you are. Where the hell have you been? Do you realise there’s a manhunt for you? Did you know Tim and Harriet are flying back from New Zealand to look for you? The police are looking for you. Polly’s out of her mind!’
Clancy shrank back behind the wheelchair as Pip went on and on.
‘Do you want me to go?’ whispered Toby.
Without realising it, Clancy grabbed his arm. ‘Not yet …’
‘Sp-sp-sp?’ murmured Pa, confused.
‘She’s not very happy with us,’ Clancy whispered back, a lump in her throat.
‘Oh, bugger,’ whispered Pa.
Tash folded her arms. ‘We came here to ask for your help.’
‘Oh, really?’ Pip hauled herself back onto the verandah so she could yell at Tash at closer range. ‘I have a couple of issues of my own to deal with right now, if you haven’t noticed …’
Clancy stared miserably at the grass as the argument raged on, Pip and Tash shouting over the top of each other.
Nothing to do with me – it’s not fair – you’re part of this family, too – who asked you anyway?
Toby shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, and Clancy was terrified that he might take off at any minute. She felt sick. She hated to hear people fighting, even random strangers on the bus or kids at school. Also, she was desperately thirsty, but she didn’t dare push past Tash and Pip to go inside for a glass of water.
Why had Nan brought them here? This can’t have been what she wanted. Why was everything falling apart?
Clancy became aware that Pa was moaning softly, and suddenly she couldn’t bear it anymore. ‘Shut up!’ she screamed. ‘Stop it! Stop it now!’
Shocked into silence, Pip and Tash turned to stare at her.
Just then Pa let out a loud groan, his eyes squeezed shut, sweat beading on his forehead.
‘You see?’ cried Clancy. ‘You’re upsetting Pa!’
Pa groaned again. His left hand fluttered out and clutched at his side.
‘I think it’s more than that,’ said Toby quietly. ‘I think there’s something wrong.’
As soon as Toby said it, Clancy knew he was right. Pa had been miserable ever since they’d left Quoll Creek – no, she realised with a shock, ever since they’d left the city. His face looked grey beneath the stubble.
‘He’s fine! He’s just tired,’ said Tash. ‘Aren’t you, Pa?’
Clancy knelt beside the wheelchair. ‘Pa? Are you okay?’
Pa shook his head. He lifted his hand and mimed putting something into his mouth.
‘Thirsty?’ guessed Tash. Without waiting to ask Pip’s permission, she dashed into the house, hurried out a moment later with a glass of water and bounded down the steps.
Pa sipped, then groaned, ‘Nah, nah,’ and pushed the glass back into Tash’s hand.
‘Are you hungry, Godfrey?’ asked Toby.
‘Hang on, Dad.’ Pip waddled inside, then came out carrying a muesli bar, a banana, a packet of chocolate biscuits and a potato. But Pa turned away in revulsion from it all.
‘Pa? Have you got a pain?’ asked Clancy.
His eyes squeezed shut, Pa nodded tightly.<
br />
‘Headache? Stomachache? I’ve got Panadol,’ said Pip. ‘Somewhere.’
‘No, no,’ groaned Pa, and again he made that gesture of putting something into his mouth.
Clancy gasped. ‘His pills! Pa’s medication! Have you been taking your pills, Pa?’
Pa shook his head, and threw up his hand. Finally.
‘Where are they?’ Tash snapped her fingers and Clancy shrugged off the backpack and tipped everything out onto the grass. The books, Tash’s wallet, her hoodie, the tin containing the remains of the stash of cash, train tickets, hair ties, a comb, deodorant, toothbrush, tampons, an empty water bottle, all cascaded at their feet. But no pills.
Tash swore. ‘I think we left them at Rosella.’
‘I didn’t pick them up,’ said Clancy.
‘Me either.’
They stared at each other, stricken.
Pip said, ‘I’m going to call an ambulance.’
‘No!’ cried Pa.
‘Hospital’s the best place, Dad. They can look after you there. You know I’m right.’
‘No!’ Pa reached up to clutch Clancy’s hand. Tears were in his eyes. ‘No no no no no …’
‘He hates hospitals,’ said Tash. ‘You can’t force him to go if he doesn’t want to.’
‘It doesn’t matter if he hates them or not,’ said Pip. ‘If he needs to go, he needs to go.’
Clancy sensed that the shouting was about to start up again. She gazed imploringly at Toby, though she didn’t really think he’d be able to help.
But he did. He touched Pa’s sleeve and asked gently, ‘Godfrey? If you don’t want to go to hospital, what do you want to do?’
Pa opened his eyes. He freed his hand from Clancy’s and pointed, far into the distance, in the direction of the city.
‘Go back to The Elms?’ said Clancy.
‘No!’ shouted Pa, and pointed more emphatically.
‘To Rosella?’ said Tash.
‘Yes!’
Tash and Clancy looked at each other.
Pip folded her arms above her belly. ‘I still say he’d be better off in hospital.’
‘No point,’ said Tash triumphantly. ‘Because we don’t know what medication Pa’s on, and he can’t tell them.’
It wasn’t until later that Clancy realised that they could have called The Elms, and she wondered why none of them had thought of that.
‘Could he write it down?’ said Toby.
Pip shook her head. ‘He can’t write anymore, or spell. All his letters are gone.’
‘He can still read though,’ put in Tash. ‘Which is so weird.’
Clancy said, ‘At least at Rosella, his pills are all there, packaged up, ready to go.’
Tash looked at Toby. ‘Lend me your phone, and I’ll call a taxi. Assuming they have maxi-taxis out here.’
‘Hey!’ said Pip. ‘Cockatoo Bay isn’t the outback, you know. We have taxis.’
Sunday night. Streets clogged with traffic. A taxi might not arrive for hours, thought Clancy in despair.
She looked around from where she knelt beside Pa’s chair. Everyone seemed paralysed, as if someone had pressed pause: Toby holding his phone, Tash’s hand out demanding it, Pip with feet planted, hands on her back, Pa’s head bent, wincing.
Look up, Clancy. Look up.
Nan’s voice was so clear, the scent of lily-of-the-valley so strong, that she was sure the others must have heard it, too.
Look up, Clancy! See the moon?
She looked up, into the deep blue late afternoon sky. But she couldn’t see the moon.
What do you mean, Nan? What moon?
A flash of colour in the corner of her eye made her turn her head. Pip’s battered old car carried a sticker in the back window, a circular gold and blue medieval-looking symbol, half sun, half moon-face.
See the moon, Clancy?
And in a flash, she knew.
Pip and Tash were arguing about the taxi now, each brandishing a phone like a weapon. Clancy interrupted. ‘Would we fit in Pip’s car?’
‘Ha!’ snorted Pip. ‘I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m extremely pregnant? I can’t reach the pedals anymore. I can’t even drive to the shops, definitely not all the way to Rosella.’
There was a brief silence.
Then Toby said, ‘But I can.’
‘No way,’ said Pip and Tash together, and glared at each other.
‘We have to!’ said Clancy, surprising herself with the firmness of her tone. ‘We don’t have time to wait for a taxi. Poor Pa needs his medication.’
‘I don’t think—’ began Tash, but Clancy spoke over her.
‘We can’t waste time arguing. And Toby knows how to drive. I’ve seen him. Let’s just go!’
In the end, it was Clancy who hustled them all into the car. Having hastily slapped his L-plates on the car, Toby took the driver’s seat, nervous but determined, adjusting the mirrors and the seat. Pip clambered in laboriously beside him, checking the route on her phone and complaining bitterly. ‘Better take the inland road, with a learner – it’s boring but it’s easier. I cannot believe I’m actually doing this … I must be insane …’
With Clancy and Toby’s assistance, Pa managed to shuffle himself painfully into the middle of the back seat, while Tash folded down the wheelchair and shoved it into the boot, which didn’t shut properly and had to be secured with an occy strap. At last Tash hurled herself into the back seat and slammed the door, which made Pa and Pip both wince.
Toby looked into the rear-view mirror for confirmation. ‘Ready?’
Tash was busy with her seatbelt, and Pa’s eyes were closed, so it was Clancy who answered, ‘Yes. Let’s go.’
Toby turned the key in the ignition, the engine coughed, and Pip said, ‘Don’t forget the handbrake.’
‘I know, I know.’ Toby’s face was very white as he turned to make a head check before backing out of the driveway; but his face was always pale.
As she sat in the back of the car holding one of Pa’s hands while Tash cradled the other, Clancy thought she glimpsed just a wink of bright light in the sky outside the window. But perhaps it was only an aeroplane.
As soon as they were clear of Cockatoo Bay and safely out onto the open road, Pip punched a number into her phone.
‘Who are you calling?’ asked Tash in alarm.
‘Polly.’ Pip pressed the phone to her ear. ‘She started the manhunt, she can be the one to call it off— Yeah, Poll? It’s me. I’ve got them … Yeah, all three. All fine … No, I’m in the car … No, to Rosella. To get Dad’s meds … Because they were left there … How the hell should I know? I suppose they left in a hurry. Poll, I can’t talk. I’m supervising a learner driver … No, not Tash … I don’t know. I’m going, I’m going … Yeah, you too.’ She hung up with a sniff and turned to Toby. ‘Put your foot down, buster. You’re slower than a wet week. You can do a hundred along here.’
‘I haven’t gone that fast yet.’ Toby peered over the steering wheel at the road ahead. ‘I’ve never been on a freeway.’
‘Are people on their L-plates allowed to drive that fast?’ said Clancy.
Pip snorted. ‘Of course they can! It’s more dangerous to go slower than the limit on the freeway.’
‘I don’t think that’s right,’ Toby said. The car jerked forward as he put his foot down. ‘Sorry! Sorry, sorry.’
‘You’re right,’ grunted Pip. ‘Just keep going.’
Toby muttered something that Clancy couldn’t hear. She could see his knuckles clutched white around the wheel, and she realised that he was terrified. Admiration leapt up inside her like a firework.
They drove.
‘Can’t we put on some music or something?’ complained Tash.
‘Do you mind if we don’t?’ said Toby. ‘I need to concentrate.’
Tash glanced across to Clancy and rolled her eyes, but Clancy frowned. She thought Toby was amazing.
‘Sp-sp-sp,’ grumbled Pa. He tried to stretch out his left l
eg, but there wasn’t room. ‘Sp-sp!’ He shifted around on his bum.
‘Do you need the bottle?’ asked Tash, almost hopefully, Clancy thought – anything to break the monotony. But Pa shook his head. After a while, his head lolled forward and he began to snore.
‘Hey, Pip—’ began Tash, but Clancy caught her sister’s eye, pointed to Toby, and shook her head. Don’t talk while he’s driving.
Tash opened her mouth to argue, then closed it again, and shrugged.
‘Yeah, what?’ said Pip.
‘Never mind. Nothing.’
‘Pip?’ said Clancy, after a moment.
‘What now?’
‘Maybe you should call Bee. I think she’s going to be worried about us, too.’
‘You guys have really left a trail of destruction, haven’t you?’ said Pip.
‘Also—’ Clancy swallowed. ‘She’s not in the city. She lives on an ashram now.’
‘What?’ Pip twisted round.
‘Clancy! We promised!’ cried Tash.
‘Ssh!’ said Toby. ‘Please.’
Pip shook her head. ‘I’m speechless,’ she said; but she left a message at the ashram anyway.
They drove along the freeway, through the same yellow paddocks that they’d seen from the train – was it really only yesterday? – past fences and silos, dead trees and sheep. Clancy found herself sitting tensely upright, watching the road over Toby’s shoulder. There was a truck in front of them; as it laboured up a hill, Clancy watched it draw closer … actually it was their car that was coming nearer as the truck slowed down—
‘Watch it!’ said Pip sharply. ‘Slow down, slow down! Jesus!’
She flung out one hand to the dashboard as Toby hit the brakes and they were all thrown forward, brought up hard by their seatbelts. Pa grunted, but kept on snoring.
‘Sorry!’
The gap between Pip’s car and the truck stretched out again as Toby slowed down. Someone tooted, then there was a rush of wind as the car behind them overtook, racing past and swerving into the gap. Toby flinched.
Pip muttered something under her breath.
As they passed a sign for an approaching service station, Clancy realised, Toby needs a break. But he doesn’t want to say so, in case Pip and Tash think he’s a wuss. But what if he crashes? Or what if he just stops the car and says, That’s it, I can’t take it anymore? What would we do then?
The January Stars Page 16