The January Stars

by Kate Constable

  Nervously she leaned forward. ‘Pip? I need the toilet. Can we stop up here?’

  Even before Pip said, ‘Yeah, okay,’ Toby was already pulling across into the exit lane.

  When Clancy returned from the toilet, Tash was leaning against the car. She tore open a packet of chips and passed the bag to Clancy. Pa was still asleep in the back seat. Pip had passed Clancy as she swayed off to the toilet, and Toby had said he was going, too, but Clancy could see him pacing up and down the concourse, shaking out his stiff hands and legs.

  ‘Hey, Clance,’ said Tash, after a few moments of munching.

  Clancy steeled herself. What had she done wrong now?

  ‘I was just going to tell you—’

  Here we go…

  ‘—I was going to say it before, but I got distracted – just that, you know, I’m glad you came along.’

  Clancy blinked. ‘Seriously?’

  ‘Yeah, seriously. You’re observant. You notice stuff. You’re really good at that.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Clancy cautiously.

  ‘Now you say what I’m best at.’ Tash held out her hand for the chip packet.

  ‘Oh – thinking up plans. Arguing. Getting stuff done.’

  ‘I was kidding, but thanks anyway.’

  Clancy gently punched her sister’s arm. ‘Ha-ha.’

  ‘Seriously, though – we’re a pretty good team, I reckon, you and me.’

  ‘I think so, too,’ said Clancy shyly.

  ‘And hey – don’t worry about high school. You’ll be fine. Turns out you’re better at making friends than I thought you were.’ Tash grabbed a handful of chips and stuffed them in her mouth, pulling a funny face at the same time so that Clancy could laugh at her and not need to answer.

  After a moment, Clancy said, ‘I’m sad all this didn’t work out. You know, for Pa.’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Tash. ‘Me too.’

  ‘At least we tried.’

  ‘Yeah. We did.’

  They stood by the car, munching quietly. Behind them, the setting sun stained the sky with orange flames. Up ahead, on the eastern horizon, a streak of silver light flashed across the dark blue sky. Clancy gasped, and clutched Tash’s arm.

  ‘Did you see that?’

  ‘I saw something,’ said Tash doubtfully. ‘I think it was a helicopter.’

  ‘No, it wasn’t! Come on, Tash, it was a meteor. It was a sign, from Nan!’

  ‘Not this again,’ groaned Tash.

  ‘What’s that about Nan?’ Pip loomed up out of the shadows and plunged her hand into the chip packet. ‘You wouldn’t even remember Nan, would you, Clancy?’

  ‘I do remember her,’ said Clancy. ‘She loved stars.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s right, she did.’ Pip sounded surprised.

  ‘Clancy’s obsessed with space,’ said Tash. ‘For some reason.’

  ‘I ended up with your nan’s telescope,’ said Pip. ‘But I never use it. Stars aren’t my thing, I’m more of a surfer chick, you know?’

  ‘I’d wondered what happened to that telescope!’ said Clancy.

  Pip helped herself to the last crumbs from the chip packet. ‘Well, if you’re into all that space stuff, you should have it. If you want.’

  Clancy was speechless.

  ‘She’d love it,’ said Tash kindly. ‘She says, “thanks, Pip, that would be awesome”. Don’t you, peanut?’

  ‘Thanks, Pip,’ whispered Clancy.

  ‘No worries.’ Pip brushed the salt from her fingertips. ‘Where’s our chauffeur gone? Hey, Toby!’ she yelled across the concourse. ‘Ready to go?’

  As Toby jogged back, and Tash and Pip climbed into the car, Clancy paused for a moment to glance overhead.

  One by one, the stars were coming out. But that wasn’t right, she reminded herself; the stars were always there. They were just being revealed, as the last sunlight drained from the dark blue bowl of the sky, leaving a trail of spilled glitter behind, a glimmer of gold in the bottom of the pan. All those ancient patterns and stories, turning in the sky, spelled out in a language Clancy couldn’t read.

  But when she had a telescope, she could learn to read it …

  Clancy gave a little skip, and dived back inside the car.

  By the time the car crawled up the hills to the house in Rosella, the sky was black and Nan’s moon was shining high and bright and small, like a torchlight leading them through the night.

  ‘Turn right here,’ said Pip. ‘This is the street. Second driveway on the right … What’s with the For Sale sign?’

  ‘Yeah, I want to talk to Polly about that,’ muttered Tash darkly.

  ‘You’re not the only one,’ said Pip indignantly. ‘Just because she’s got power of attorney, she thinks she can do whatever she likes. She can’t sell our childhood home without even consulting us! Just wait till I speak to her—’

  ‘Looks like you won’t have to wait long,’ said Tash. ‘She’s here.’

  The headlights swept over the driveway, lighting up Polly’s little red car parked in the carport. Carefully Toby inched along between the bushes, braked, put the car into park, and switched off the engine. He dropped his forehead onto the steering wheel, breathing hard.

  ‘Lights,’ said Pip, releasing her seatbelt.

  Toby fumbled the headlights off, and let his head drop back on the steering wheel. Tash was already scrambling out of the car. Clancy couldn’t move; she had Pa’s head resting on her shoulder.

  ‘Toby?’ she said anxiously. ‘You okay?’

  ‘Yeah – yeah, I think so.’ He groped for the doorhandle and eased it open, then swung his legs out of the car. He seemed to need to take his exit in stages. Even after he climbed out of the driver’s seat, he just leaned against the side of the car. He turned to give Clancy a wobbly grin. ‘My knees are shaking.’

  ‘That was a big drive!’ said Clancy.

  ‘Yeah.’ Toby perked up slightly. ‘It’s going to look great in my logbook.’

  By this time, Pip had heaved herself out of the car and waddled over to Polly by the front door. ‘Hey, sis.’

  Polly looked Pip up and down. ‘You’ve been busy, I see.’

  ‘Oh, here it comes …’

  The two sisters glared at each other in the light that blazed from the windows and the open door. Tash called, ‘Did you find Pa’s pills, Polly?’

  ‘Yes, I did, and I’ve got some questions for you, young lady. Where’s your grandfather?’

  ‘He’s in the car!’ called Clancy, opening her door. She shook Pa gently. ‘Time to wake up, Pa – we’re home.’

  Pa gazed blearily toward the house, and his face lit up with bewildered joy when he realised where they were. Clancy could have kicked herself. Why did she have to say home, and get his hopes up, when he’d just be going back to The Elms again? All their hard work, all their plans, their traipsing around all over the state, had been for nothing: that was disappointing enough for Clancy and Tash, but how much worse would it be for Pa?

  Clancy slid out of the car and let Polly and Tash manoeuvre Pa out of the back seat. He clung tightly to Tash, moaning and swaying, his eyes squeezed shut. They had to lower him gently down into the chair and bend his knees and ankles; he was as stiff as wood, and every movement seemed to hurt him.

  He’ll need water to take the pills, thought Clancy, but there aren’t any cups here. She grabbed the water bottle from Tash’s backpack and sprinted inside to fill it.

  Squabbling and jostling one another, Pip and Polly and Tash squeezed through the front door and into the empty living room, pushing Pa ahead of them. Toby followed slowly, and stood hesitating just inside the doorway, as if he wasn’t sure whether or not he was really welcome inside.

  Clancy found the pills in their little plastic packet on the sink where Polly had left them. Carefully she tipped them out onto her palm and went to kneel beside her grandfather.

  ‘Pa? Here’s your medication. And some water to wash it down.’

  Pa blinked at her and slowly
raised his shaking hand. ‘Aargh!’ He cursed as he knocked the pills to the carpet.

  ‘It’s okay. I’ll help.’ Clancy picked up the pills and popped the first one onto Pa’s tongue. She waited for him to swallow a mouthful of water from the bottle, then nod when he was ready for the next one. At last they were all gone, and Pa breathed a deep sigh. Pip and Polly and Tash were still arguing and explaining and contradicting each other, standing under the living room light as if it were a spotlight.

  Pa patted Clancy’s shoulder and pointed to the front windows as two lights swung around the street corner and lit up the driveway. Toby peered through the front door.

  ‘It’s a cab,’ he reported. ‘It’s stopping here … It’s a man and a woman, and a boy.’

  Clancy gave a strangled cry and pushed past him to fly up the driveway and into Tim’s arms.

  Adding Bruno, Tim and Harriet into the echoing living room doubled the volume of excited voices. Even Toby was drawn into the hubbub, stammering a muddled explanation of who he was and what he was doing there. Tim accused Polly, ‘How could you go off and leave them like that? What were you thinking?’; Polly had begun to cry; Bruno was charging around the empty rooms, shouting something about the bush and firemen and New Zealand at the top of his voice; Harriet was calling for order; Tash stamped her foot and cried, ‘Listen! You’re not listening to me!’

  Pa was sitting off to one side of the room. His eyes were closed, but his skin looked pinker, and less grey, Clancy thought, and his face looked more peaceful, not screwed up in pain. She touched his arm.

  ‘Pa? Are you feeling any better?’

  Without opening his eyes, Pa nodded. He flicked his hand and Clancy understood. Yes, I’m all right, but I’d like to be left alone. She dropped a kiss on top of his fluffy head and stepped back toward the glass doors to the deck. It was dark out there … dark and quiet. Unnoticed, Clancy slid the door open and slipped outside into the night.

  Out on the deck, with the door closed behind her, everything was quiet. The just-past-full moon sailed high above the dark bulk of the mountain, and the ragged silhouettes of the treetops were outlined against the sky. Leaves rustled as an unseen possum swarmed along the branch, and a cool breeze brushed Clancy’s cheek as she leaned on the railing and breathed in deeply, smelling the fresh scent of eucalyptus.

  The stars were much clearer out here at Rosella than they were in the city, like tiny chips of diamond thickly sprinkled across the sky. Clancy picked out the Southern Cross, the pointers, the three brothers in their canoe from the Yolgnu story; but the other stars were a mystery. Were the seven sisters up there somewhere? The planets? Maybe she could sneak her book out here and search for the constellations of the January sky. It would be even easier if she had Nan’s telescope …

  Even as she watched, the moon seemed to rise higher above the trees. The moon, the earth’s silent, smaller sister, pulled together out of dust and rock into this magical silver companion … Clancy smiled, remembering Toby’s theory about gravity being the enemy of entropy.

  When Clancy turned around and looked back through the glass into the house, she could see almost all of Dad’s family, except for Mark and Bee, gathered in the living room, all talking at once, animated, waving their arms around, interrupting one another. It looked like a happy family reunion, thought Clancy wistfully, if you didn’t know how angry they all were.

  When was the last time they had all been together in one room? She didn’t know. Some Christmas dinner, maybe, years ago? Or perhaps when Pa was in hospital after his stroke, and they’d all been scared he was going to die? Clancy hadn’t realised until this moment that she could even remember that, but now a sharp-edged image returned to her: sliding along a hard vinyl couch in a waiting room with Bruno and Tash while the adults clustered around a hospital bed. And Bruno had crashed off the couch and split his head open on a coffee table – a sudden vivid flash of memory, the shocking scarlet flower of blood on her brother’s forehead—

  And now here they were again. Except that this time, it was Nan who had brought them all together. The gravitational power of Nan’s magic, working against the entropy of the family drifting in their separate directions.

  Clancy’s heart gave a sudden thump. Was this what Nan had wanted all this time? For the separate rocks and dust of everybody to merge together into one clump of family?

  But not like this. Not arguing, not shouting at each other, with no one listening. Not with Pa sitting sadly off to one side, his eyes closed, his head bowed on his chest. Look up, Pa! Clancy silently urged him. Everyone’s here! Look up!

  Look up at the sky, Clancy. See the moon?

  Nan’s voice whispered in her mind. Clancy tipped back her head to gaze at the stars. And all at once, she knew what she had to do.

  Before she could give herself a chance to think, Clancy wrenched open the glass doors and rushed inside.

  ‘I know what we should do!’ she cried. ‘I’ve got the answer!’

  Every face turned, startled, to stare at her. Even Pa jerked awake and gazed up, confused. Bruno skidded to a halt in the hallway and watched her, wide-eyed.

  ‘Clancy—’ began Harriet.

  But Tash spoke over her mother. ‘Come on, peanut,’ she said. ‘Tell us your big idea.’

  ‘Okay …’ Clancy stopped. Pa, Tash, Tim, Harriet, Bruno, Polly, Pip and Toby were waiting, eight sets of eyes all fixed on her. Could she convince them? She suddenly felt very small and very alone.

  Clancy breathed in, and the scent of lily-of-the-valley filled her nostrils. She wasn’t alone after all.

  ‘We’ve been acting like Pa is the moon,’ said Clancy slowly, working out her words as she spoke. ‘He’s just been kind of off to the side—’ She saw Polly beginning to open her mouth to object, and hurried on, ‘—but why shouldn’t he be a star?’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ said Tash. But she said it kindly.

  Clancy went to stand behind her grandfather and laid her hands on his shoulders.

  ‘What if we moved in here?’ she said.

  ‘What the hell does that have to do with stars and moons?’ began Pip, but Tim put up his hand for her to stop.

  ‘Move in here, to this house?’ he said. ‘You want to live in Rosella?’

  ‘Impossible!’ said Harriet briskly.

  But this time Clancy wasn’t going to give in so easily. ‘We could live here,’ she persisted. ‘There are loads of bedrooms. And Pa could live here, too.’

  ‘Ah!’ breathed Pa softly, and he reached up and covered Clancy’s hand with his own.

  ‘But Clancy,’ said Tim gently. ‘I don’t think you realise just how much looking after Pa needs.’

  Clancy drew herself up straight and tall. ‘Yes, I do. Tash and I have been taking care of him all weekend.’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Tash. ‘It’s not that hard.’

  ‘Apart from remembering his medication!’ said Polly.

  Tash shrugged. ‘So, we forgot one thing. We won’t do it again. Lesson learned. Big deal, move on.’

  ‘But darling—’ said Harriet.

  ‘Sp-sp-sp,’ said Pa suddenly. He held up five fingers then two, pointed to himself, and gestured around him. ‘Sp-sp-sp!’

  ‘There are five of us to look after him,’ said Tash.

  ‘Nah, nah!’ Pa held up five fingers, and pointed over his shoulder, then held up two fingers, and jabbed toward the floor. ‘Sp-sp-sp!’

  ‘Five pills?’ guessed Polly.

  ‘Five days?’ suggested Toby, from the door.

  ‘Weekdays!’ said Clancy, inspired. ‘You can stay at The Elms during the week, and live here with us at the weekends.’

  ‘Yes!’ roared Pa. ‘So-it-is, yes!’

  There was a brief silence.

  At last Harriet said carefully, ‘Living out here is a lovely idea. But how would I get to work?’

  ‘You could catch the train,’ said Clancy stubbornly. ‘And Rosella is closer to Dad’s school than where we l
ive now.’

  ‘That’s true, actually.’ Tim shot a quick look at Harriet. ‘But what about school for you guys?’

  ‘I don’t mind commuting,’ offered Tash. ‘Turns out I really like trains. And I could stay over with Az or Miranda sometimes. It’d be cool. Like going to uni.’

  Tim shook his head. ‘Clancy can’t commute all that way. Not in her very first year of high school. It’s too much.’

  Toby cleared his throat. ‘If you guys did move here, Clancy could go to Tutt’s Flat College.’

  Tim, Harriet, Tash and Clancy turned to stare at him. Toby flushed. ‘I know kids who go there. It’s a good school.’

  ‘Well,’ said Harriet, ‘thank you for your input – Toby, is it? But I believe this is a family discussion.’

  Toby’s flush spread to the tips of his ears. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘He’s right, though,’ said Tim. ‘Tutt’s Flat has a pretty good rep.’

  ‘You’re all forgetting something,’ said Polly, slightly shrill. ‘This house is for sale. We need the money to pay for The Elms.’

  ‘Let’s buy it then!’ cried Bruno. ‘I like this house. It’s awesome. I want my own room. No offence, Clance,’ he added. ‘But when we were in New Zealand, I had my own room and … yeah, it was pretty cool.’

  ‘Living here would be good for Bruno,’ said Tash persuasively. ‘He’d be running round the garden instead of locked inside, staring at a screen.’

  Clancy suppressed a grin. She knew this was a sore point with their parents.

  ‘While I appreciate your concern for your brother’s physical and mental health,’ said Harriet drily, ‘we don’t have that much spare cash lying around. We’d have to sell our apartment.’

  ‘The apartment would be worth more than this house,’ said Tim, almost to himself. ‘We’d have money left over …’

  Clancy and Tash flashed glances.

  ‘Tim!’ exclaimed Harriet. ‘Are you actually taking this crazy notion seriously?’

  Pip leaned against a wall and lowered herself cautiously to the floor. ‘Wake me up when you’ve sorted it out, will you? My back is killing me.’