by Jacob Chance
I stand with my hands on my hips, waiting for her to surface. She takes her time swimming over to me underwater before rising to her feet. She spits a stream of salt water in my face and then giggles madly.
I wipe my eyes clean and brush my hair back with a laugh. “Are we even now?”
“I guess that’ll do.”
“Let’s head in. It looks like it’s time for lunch, and I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. I’m not used to going without breakfast.” I rub my stomach.
“I want to be a guy in my next life. Then I can eat as much as I want and never gain a pound.”
My gaze wanders up and down her lithe form. There isn’t an inch of her that I’d change.
When we reach the blanket, I wrap one of the towels around her shoulders and rub my hands up and down her back. “Are you getting warmer?”
“A little bit.”
I keep my palms wandering along her spine until she stops shivering. Picking up the other towel, I give a cursory rub over my hair and along my arms and chest. The sun will take care of the rest.
“Want me to grab you something to eat?”
“Are you guilty from almost drowning me?”
“I didn’t come anywhere close to drowning you. There were no dancers harmed in the water today.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t inhale salt water or hit my head. For some reason I seem to be less accident prone with you. Maybe I need to keep you around for a bit.”
“If you like my company, just say so. You don’t need to make excuses,” I joke.
“Oh, brother. Let’s get something to eat so I can get a break from your overinflated ego.”
Jack and Rachel sit on the blanket with us as we enjoy our lunch. “Where do you guys live?”
“I’m actually from Massachusetts. I live about ten minutes from the B.U. campus,” Jack answers first.
“And I’m from Connecticut, like Ava. We grew up in the same neighborhood. I attend Brown University.”
“Beauty and brains then,” I compliment.
“I like this boyfriend, Ava,” Rachel announces. “He’s a keeper.”
“That’s what I keep telling Ava, but she’s not convinced.”
“What are you doing to convince her? And if you say talking, then I’m going to assume you don’t know anything about women at all.”
Leaning over, I press a kiss to Ava’s neck and then move up to capture her berry pout in a kiss.
“That’s better than a conversation, but surely you can do better,” Rachel taunts, and I go along with it because I’m looking for any excuse to get my lips on Ava’s again.
Setting my plate down, I reach over and take Ava’s from her, setting it on the blanket. Lifting her onto my lap, I cup her cheeks with my hands and swallow her surprised gasp with my mouth. Our tongues leisurely dance and I forget what inspired this kiss in the first place. It doesn’t matter that we’re in the middle of her family reunion, or sitting on the same blanket as her cousins. All I’m aware of is the sweet taste of her on my tongue and the enchanting weight of her in my arms.
When we finally part, Rachel’s long, pained sigh can be heard. She fans her face. “You guys are so hot together. God, I need a boyfriend.”
“You should visit Ava at school. I’ve got some single friends you could meet.”
“No way am I setting my cousin up with any of your frat brothers,” Ava scoffs.
“Why not? They’re great guys.”
“That might be true, but they’re not boyfriend material. Especially as long distance boyfriends. They’d need a babysitter to make sure they’re behaving.”
“See how lucky you are?” I cock my head to the side and grin. “You don’t need to babysit me. I don’t think you need convincing to keep me after all. You know you’ve got it good.”
Ava leans forward, pressing her tits to my chest, and presses her lips to mine. “What can I say? I’m a lucky girl.”
Fuck. I’m torn between wanting this day over ASAP and never wanting it to end. This fake relationship is harder to navigate than I imagined.
Chapter Twelve
Ava
Leaning back on my elbows, I watch Oliver and Jack playing catch with a football. Oliver’s muscles flex and bunch under his golden skin with every move he makes, causing my stomach to feel topsy turvy like a wild carnival ride.
Three years. That’s how long I’ve been harboring a crush on Oliver.
And spending this weekend with him has been the best and worst weekend of my life. Kissing him and laughing with him has been the best. I love his sense of humor. And God, the way he kisses drives me mad with need. However, reminding myself this is all a facade is the worst.
I don’t want our time together to be over. I know I’ll still see him at school and at work, but it won’t be the same. We’ll exchange token pleasantries, but I’ll never have his lips on mine again. I’ll never know what it feels like to make love with him. And, the most disappointing thing of all, I’ll never know what it feels like to be the most important person in his life.
“Hey, sis.” Beth sits down beside me. “You’re really crazy about Oliver, aren’t you?”
I nod slowly. “I am.” It’s the truth after all.
“Do you see yourself being with him long term?”
“I want that more than anything.” Can she hear the wistful tone in my voice?
“I think you guys are a great fit.” She brushes sand from the side of the blanket. “I owe you an apology. I should’ve called you or gone to see you long ago, but I was too busy being a coward.”
I turn to look her way. Her green eyes, so much like mine, are filled with shame.
“I’m sorry Brian and I hurt you. It was never our intent. We never meant for anything to happen between us. It just sort of did, and then you were home for Easter. Neither of us knew what to do about it.”
“You should’ve told me immediately. I could’ve done without seeing the two of you together. Even if you weren’t doing anything sexual, I could still tell something was going on.”
“I realize that now. If I could go back and redo everything, I would. But there was a lot of guilt involved with having feelings for Brian.”
“Do you think you guys will end up married?” I question. Not because I care, but merely out of curiosity.
“I like to think so. We have a lot in common and he makes me happy.”
“Good. Something positive came out of what happened then. I don’t have any hard feelings about it anymore. I want you to be happy and if he’s the one who can make that happen, then so be it. He may never be my favorite person but…” I shrug.
“That spot’s already taken by Oliver anyway.” Beth nudges my arm, nodding toward the game of catch in front of us.
“Yep, it sure is.” The knot in my stomach tightens with the lie. “Where’s Brian?” I ask, glancing around.
“He had to help his father with something. And I thought it would be nice if you and I got a chance to talk alone.”
I smile at her. “I’m glad we got to sort things out. I was getting tired of trying to hate you.”
“I want to come visit you at school sometime. Would that be okay?”
“Sure. I’d love that. I can show you all my favorite places. You’ll love Boston.”
“I want to see you dance at Score.”
“That can be arranged. When do you want to come?”
I stare at the road in front of us, replaying the day in my head. It was so much fun. I hated to see our time at the beach come to an end. And with that came a lot of tearful goodbyes.
The only consolation being that not only does Beth want to visit, but Rachel does too. The three of us can have some girl time together. It will give me something to look forward to when Oliver is no longer occupying my time.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Oliver notes. “Are you okay? Anything you want to talk about?”
“I’m just a little sad that I had to leave my family. Beth and I had a r
eally nice talk and we’re in a good place. I know Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I’ll see them then, but right now, two months seems like forever.”
“I can understand that. I don’t get to see my parents enough. I should make more time for them. Hopefully, once hockey is over, I’ll have more free time to swing by the house.”
“Do your parents ever go to your games?”
“Yeah, they do. They usually make it to as many as they can. In fact, next weekend they’re coming to one.”
“That’s nice. Do you like it when they watch or does it make you nervous?”
“I enjoy having them there cheering me on. I know that no matter how I play they’re going to think I did great.” His eyes flick to me and his lips quirk in a quick smile before he focuses on the highway once more.
“If only we could be as proud of ourselves as our parents are. The struggle is real.” I sigh.
“Life would be a lot easier if we could,” he agrees. “It would make the defeats less monumental. We’d shake them off and know that we gave it our all. And have faith that better things are coming.”
“Do you think better things are in store for you?” I ask.
He rubs a hand over his dark stubble. “I’m hopeful there are. I try to be positive, but I’m only human. I have my down moments, just like everyone else.”
“Right. It’s hard to be up all the time. Some days you just need to exist and others you can seize the day.”
“I’m in a much better place now than I was at the start of the year. Time takes care of a lot of things.”
“Yeah, I am too. And I agree about time helping. But when you’re in a dark period, time passes much slower.”
“How do you think this weekend went?” he questions.
“What? Do you want me to rate your performance?” I tease.
“I mean, did it help you to be around your sister and Brian? Do you feel better about them together now or is it worse?”
“Actually, I think it did help to spend time in their company. Seeing them together didn’t hurt as much as I imagined it would. In fact, I didn’t really care. I felt so disconnected from my relationship with Brian. In some ways it seems like all that was a lifetime ago. If I really loved him, shouldn’t I still feel something for him?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s different for every person.”
“Do you still have feelings for Stacey?” Shit. I shouldn’t have asked this. What if he says yes? Do I really want to know? Say no. Please say no.
“I’m not sure. I haven’t spoken to her in months. I don’t wish her ill or anything. I miss the comfort of having that special someone to talk to and know that they’re there for you. But I don’t miss her. I guess the true test would be seeing her. Like you just found out, you can’t deny how your heart feels in that moment.”
Okay. His answer wasn’t awful. He’s unsure if he still cares for her. But at least he’s not pining away because she broke his heart and he’s missing her. I would hate to know that every moment we spent together was tainted with Stacey’s memory. Even if we’re only friends.
The rest of our trip is spent listening to music with brief moments of casual conversation. Is he as conflicted as I am about our weekend ending? Or is he looking forward to getting back home and resuming life as usual?
My stomach is unsettled as we approach my building. Oliver parks the car and grabs my things from the trunk.
I hold my hand out for my bag and he shakes his head. “I’ll walk you in.”
“Thanks.” I unlock the front door and usher him through. “We’re on the second floor. I usually just take the stairs.” I point at the wide staircase to the right of the lobby.
He tips his head. “After you.”
I jog up the stairs in front of him, imagining his eyes locked on my ass. Is it jiggling too much? Not enough? Fuck me. What does it matter anyway?
My apartment is the second on the right. Unlocking the door, I push it open and turn to Oliver. “Do you want to come in? I can grab you a beer if you want.”
He steps inside, stealing all the oxygen from the space with his wide shoulders and dark masculinity. Imagining this moment was much different than the reality of having him here.
“I’m going to head to my place. I have some schoolwork I need to finish up before tomorrow.” He sets my bag down on the wooden floor.
“Oh. Okay.” I wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts nervously. Everything’s suddenly unbelievably awkward and I don’t know what to do with myself.
Oliver must sense my indecision. He pulls me in for a hug, squeezing me close as if he’s as torn about letting go as I am. As his hold loosens, he presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll see you around.” He steps back, his lips arcing into a semblance of a smile, but his eyes are flat as he moves to the door.
“Thanks again for everything. You made the weekend bearable.”
He turns in the doorway. “I like to think it was more than bearable.”
I nod and force myself to smile. “It was fun.”
“Right. Fun.” He lifts a hand in a wave. “See you.”
“Bye.” I watch him walk away until he disappears down the stairs before closing myself inside. Leaning my forehead against the door, I groan. What was I expecting? Some declaration of love before he left? My life is not a movie where the hot guy likes the average girl, and I need to remember that. This weekend I was as close to being Oliver’s girlfriend as I’ll ever get.
Approaching my class, I’m anxious about seeing Oliver for the first time since we got back three days ago. Will he sit up front with me again? Or will he return to the back of the room and pretend we don’t know each other?
What does it matter? I scold myself. Either way he’s just a classmate and a coworker. He doesn’t owe me anything. He’s not obligated to talk to me because we shared a kiss or two.
Stepping inside the room, my gaze goes to the front of the room as I move toward my usual seat. Setting my backpack down on the floor as I sink into the chair, I’m disappointed Oliver isn’t here. I know this past weekend was pretend, but it did feel like we were at least friends now. But maybe he doesn’t see it that way.
Removing my laptop from my bag, I turn it on and prepare to lose myself in note taking. I’ll focus better if he’s not next to me anyway, I console myself. Resting my elbow on the desk, I cup my chin in my palm and wait for the last few minutes before class to tick by. Is Oliver sitting in the back, staring at me right now? God, I hope not. This class will be awkward as fuck now that I’m wondering.
Footsteps moving closer to me catches my attention. I caution my racing heart that it might not be him. I wait until he takes the seat next to me to glance over.
“Hey.” I smile with my lips together.
“Hi.” He flashes me a full smile, stealing my next breath from me as well as if he kissed me.
Our professor begins speaking, putting an end to any conversation I was hoping to have. I do my best to focus on the subject matter, but I can sense Oliver’s deep stare on the side of my face. I fight the urge to look his way and confirm if I’m right.
Being so hyperaware of him means I hear about every third word the professor says. My notes are going to be indecipherable when I read through them later. But it can’t be helped. I’m doing the best I can. And listening to Professor Burns discuss the tradeoff between risk and return isn’t nearly as compelling as thinking about Oliver Ice.
I’ve spent most of the last two nights replaying his addictive kisses in my mind. And every other moment of our time together. He made an unbearable situation into a weekend full of fun. If he can do that, he can do anything as far as I’m concerned. My crush on him has grown into genuine feelings, even though I know there’s no future for us. The best I can hope for is our friendship to continue.
Professor Burns dismisses us and I find Oliver standing in front of me. “How’s it going?” he asks.
“Good. I’ve been busy with dance practice. What
about you?”
“I had to work Monday night and I spent last night catching up on laundry.”
“Exciting stuff.”
“Stick with me, babe. I know how to live it up.” He winks.
“Clearly.” I laugh. “Hey, thanks again for helping me out this weekend.”
He shakes his head. “I told you there’s no thanks needed. I had a great time. It was nice to have a change of scenery for a few days.”
“How’s hockey been going?”
“Coach has been kicking our asses hard. We’re playing one of our bigger rivals this weekend. Want to come watch the game?”
“Uh, I’m not sure if I’m working or not.”
“You’re not.”
“I’m not? How would you know?”
“I checked the schedule this morning to make sure I wasn’t scheduled for Friday night and I happened to notice you aren’t either.”
He checked the schedule? Did he purposely search for my name? Nah. That’s wishful thinking on my part. “Oh.” I still don’t commit to an answer.
“So, will you come cheer me and the Terriers on?” He looks at me with puppy dog eyes. “It would give you another reason to wear that awesome shirt I gave you.” Admittedly, it is a nice shirt. And he must’ve paid a decent chunk of change for it. Plus, I did like the way it looked on me in the pictures Perri took. “I’ll treat you to a pizza.” He sweetens the deal. I stay silent, studying his face, waiting to see if he offers anything more. “I’ll throw in a couple of drinks of your choice.”
“You had me at cheering you on. It’s the least I could do. The pizza’s a nice bonus, though.”
His lips twitch with a hint of a smile. “Fair enough. One hockey game followed by pizza and drinks.”
That almost sounds like a date. There I go wishful thinking again.
Chapter Thirteen
Oliver
My eyes sweep up to the digital numbers on the game clock. Thirty seconds are left and we’re tied, two all. Marshall faces off with one of the Huskies and comes away with the puck. The crowd goes wild, cheering and stomping their feet. Marshall doesn’t have a shot, so he sweeps the puck to me. I get tangled up at the boards with one of our opponents, but break free unexpectedly. That extra second is all I need to take a shot. The puck beams past the goalie, hitting the backside of the net. Score.