“This way.” Corin guides me down an aisle. He nods at a sign. “Medicine’s upstairs.”
I push my glasses higher up my nose; they’re a little big for me. I read the sign, and—
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. There’s a rushing sound in my ears. My skin prickles. It’s too hot in here. Yet my hands are freezing. I swallow down the strangest of feelings and glance at Corin, but he hasn’t noticed. He’s already plowing toward the stairs.
After a few seconds’ delay, I chase after him. There are more people in here, all of them are Enhanced Ones, of course. I glance at one, and the feelings within me magnify. Oh Gods. Just breathe. I follow Corin up the stairs. I’m sure he’s oblivious to what I’m going through. I gulp again. I can do this. I have to. I will. I won’t give Rahn the satisfaction.
I’m breathing slowly and deeply as we reach the next floor; my heart pounds with anxiety. Corin keeps walking. It would be so easy to turn away, walk away from him. I force myself forward; my head feeling like it’s going to explode. On the shelves all around us, are all sorts of small boxes. I recognize a few of them, but not many. And—
I see them.
My heart screams. My mouth dries. My fingers twitch.
Beautiful, mesmerizing colors. Sunny oranges. Aqua blues. Emerald greens. Rich, chocolate browns. Pure, innocent whites. A huge display of them, from floor to ceiling. There are even more augmenters here than there were in that cupboard.
Corin heads straight for them.
I freeze. Oh Gods. He’s going to smash them. He’s going to smash them. I start to race forward, not knowing whether I’m going for him or for them.
He walks right past them, as if he hasn’t noticed them. Maybe he hasn’t. They’re insignificant to him.
But to me… I linger slightly, my eyes running over the colors again. Translucent greens, a liver color, deep silver… I look around, aware that I’m salivating.
Corin has almost disappeared from view.
An Enhanced female leans in front of me and plucks out a magenta augmenter. Sexiness. She smiles to herself, and her mirror eyes get bigger.
I take a small step to my right, moving down the aisle. The shelves of augmenters seem to go on forever. Kindness, Compassion, and Calmness are in front of me. Benevolence, Good Will, Curiosity. They’re beautiful. I felt beautiful when I was one of them. I was safe. I had a home. And food. Is that really too much to ask for? The desire to be safe?
The memory alone is enough to make me shiver and shake. It was lovely. Amazing. Beautiful.
Move away now, I tell myself.
No. Don’t. Stay here. Feast on them….
Taking another deep breath, I look around. There’s no one here now. My hand moves up toward a small bottle of Calmness. It would be easy just to pick it up and put it in my pocket. So easy.
My fingertips grace the bottle of Calmness, and energy fizzes within me. It would be the most amazing thing to be permanently calm. No more worries. No more anger. Maybe the Enhanced life isn’t so bad. It’s better than ours. No more fear, no more worries. I inhale sharply as a new thought occurs: what if becoming Enhanced is the intended direction for humankind? The next step of evolution?
My hand closes around the tiny bottle. The weight of the augmenter is delicious. Already, I’m calmer. And the small bottle, the beautiful vial, is in my pocket.
Oh Gods. My stomach twists as horror fills me.
Step away, I tell myself. Corin will be looking for me soon. But I don’t step away. I can’t. My hand hovers again. A rich dark green bottle has captured my eye.
“Speed.” I can barely breathe. I’m salivating. I’m fast, but I could be faster. If I’m faster, I could help the rest of my group more… I’d be helping them.
It should be easier, this time. I’ve done it once. I glance around. No one else is here. My fingers touch the bottle. Adrenaline pumps through my veins. The sensation is so wonderful that—
“Seven?”
I turn, my heart slamming into my ribs, to see Corin standing behind me. My head pounds. How did he get here so quickly?
“Put it back.”
But I can’t. My fingers won’t move. I don’t want to let go.
Corin marches up and grabs the bottle from my hand. He chucks it onto the shelf, uncaring of how it hits others, causing at least six tiny exquisite bottles to fall over, then grabs me by the shoulders. He pushes me forward. Corin’s tight grip on me doesn’t slacken, and I’m reminded suddenly of Raleigh. Corin is holding me in the same way, and the pressure of his fingers is just the same, enough to bruise.
Then I see Rahn. He’s down the aisle slightly, carrying several bags of stuff and two small wooden boxes.
He’s seen everything.
He knows I failed. He knows he was right. I am a liability.
Never let yourself be Enhanced. Once it’s done, there’s no going back.
“Let’s get out of here.” Rahn’s voice is even, devoid of emotions.
I feel sick. But the weight of the Calmness in my shorts is comforting. I yearn to reach down and touch the little bottle, but I mustn’t. I have to act normally.
Corin pushes me forward roughly. I stumble slightly, but he doesn’t help me. Of course he wouldn’t. I turn back to face him. But he won’t look at me. He stares ahead, his lips pressed into a thin line.
Traitor, an unknown voice hisses at me.
“What the hell were you thinkin’, takin’ her in there?” Rahn jabs two gnarled roots of fingers into Corin’s face.
We’re on the outskirts of the town again now, and Rahn’s the first to speak since we left the building.
Corin scrunches his nose up and bares his teeth. He still has his dark glasses on, and this makes me nervous. “How was I to know she’d act like one of them?”
“Do you know nothin’?” Rahn’s fingers stay where they are. “It’s far too soon, she probably won’t even have the last dose completely out of her system yet. It would’ve acted like a magnet, drawin’ her in. I’m surprised she didn’t start guzzlin’ the stuff there and then.”
I keep walking, trailing behind them. Rahn’s still yelling, and I don’t understand why. He wanted me to fail; he wanted me to do that. Yet now he’s angry at Corin, and not me?
The bottle of Calmness in my shorts gets heavier and heavier, dragging the garment down slightly, with every step. I should take it out and smash it. I should watch the pale blue liquid drain away. But I can’t do it now. They’d see it. They’d know how desperate I am. Disgust fills me.
I’ll dispose of it when I’m on my own. I’m strong—I can do it. It’s what I need to do. I can’t be like them, murdering innocent people… But with food and shelter….
“Let’s just get back.” Corin’s voice is deeper, more dangerous, than usual. The muscles in his shoulders tense—my fault.
Rahn nods, then turns back to me. “Are you okay?”
I nod.
We walk back. Rahn decides it’s best not to run. I don’t know why he thinks that, but, nonetheless, I’m glad. My legs shake too much.
As we near the rocks, my eyes pick out Three and Esther. They are standing side by side. But there’s definitely only two of them.
Kayden isn’t there.
Rahn and Corin speed up, then they’re running. I trail after them, my knees knocking against each other. As I near, I notice the bruise and cuts on Esther’s face and the long scratch on Three’s nose.
“What’s happened?” Rahn throws his bag onto the floor.
My dog rushes up to me. He tries to push his nose into my hand, but suddenly, I don’t know if I can pet him. It sounds silly, but if I stroke the little dog, I think he’ll know what I did. And I need him to be on my side.
“Just a bit of trouble getting food,” Three says. But there isn’t any food around them.
“Where’s Kayden?” Rahn asks the question that’s burning me.
Three and Esther exchange a look. My heart drops. Suddenly, all I can th
ink is that this is payment, my fault. If I hadn’t stolen the Calmness, Kayden might be here. The universe works in strange ways.
“He’s getting a car,” Three says.
“What?” Rahn says. He waves his arms in the air, like a madman. “That was not part of the plan! Why didn’t you stay with him? We never leave any member of our group on their own.” As he says the words, he glares at Corin.
“He insisted,” Esther says. “He took all the food with him.”
Rahn makes a noise that suggests he is very angry. He turns back to look at the town in the distance. “Is he drivin’ it up here?”
“Yes,” Three says. “He said it could take him an hour to secure it and get it out of there.”
“Is he stealing or buying the car?” Corin asks. He’s standing about as far away from me as possible.
Three shrugs. “Anyone’s guess.” He wipes a layer of grime from his cheek, and the scratch starts to bleed. Then he looks at me, and I see his eyes widen. “What’s happened?”
Corin looks like he’s about to say something, but Rahn gets in first.
“Nothin’. It’s just hot work, runnin’.” Rahn turns toward the rocks where our stuff is. The dog moves away from him, growling. “We may as well sort out what we’ve got.” He glances over at the clothing bag on the ground. The spare pairs of sunglasses are on top. “Excellent.” He nods in approval.
About an hour later, a vehicle approaches—a Land Rover Discovery. Dust kicks up behind it from the tires. It’s going fast.
“Get back,” Rahn says. He has the Glock in his hand.
Corin, Three, and Esther draw their guns. Then Corin pushes Esther behind him. We all freeze. My hands are empty. Three hands me a knife.
We stand like this as the vehicle nears us. The dog cowers against my legs. At last, we make out Kayden’s red hair behind the wheel. The guns disappear.
Kayden parks the vehicle a few feet from us and throws the driver’s door open. He jumps out, grinning. Like Corin, he’s sunburnt, but his skin looks worse now, angrier, redder. It’s his red hair.
“What do you think?” Kayden looks wild and energized. “I thought it was a seven-seater at first, but this model’s not got the extra two seats in the back. Gives more room for our supplies though. And I’ve already checked it for any tracking devices. We’re good to go.”
“I think you should’ve discussed it with me.” Rahn’s voice is tense. “But it’ll do. Right. We’ll load the stuff in now, then get on the road.”
There isn’t a lot of room in the four-by-four once we’ve packed everything in. And there are only five seats.
“Seven can sit in the boot,” Kayden says. “There’s still a little room in there.”
I look at the boot. I’d be on my own in there. Almost automatically, I touch the small glass bottle through the fabric of my shorts.
“No,” Rahn says. “We’ll squeeze four into the back.”
I end up wedged in between Three and Esther. Kayden—also in the back, much to his annoyance—has the dog sitting on his lap; Rahn had wanted the terrier in the front passenger’s footwell, but the dog seemed to have a problem with Corin’s feet. Kept trying to bite his toes.
Rahn’s driving, and he goes faster than usual. The suspension’s better than that in our old truck, but it’s not great.
“Where are we going?” Corin asks, his voice level.
Rahn takes his time in replying. “I want to get as far south as possible. I looked at a map earlier in New Zsai. There’s another town—New Sinyoh—a good way south from here, but after that the terrain looks rougher, more wooded, less built-up. I want to get as far on the other side of New Sinyoh as possible. We’ll camp out there, and the girls can sleep in here.”
Esther grins, the bruise on her face stretching, as she turns to me.
I smile back, but I’d rather be outside. I need to dispose of the augmenter. It’s still in my shorts pocket, feels bulky. Three’s leg also presses against it, but he hasn’t questioned what it is.
It smells fumy in the car; there are at least four cans of fuel in the back, along with the food—mainly canned stuff. No way near as good as that cake, with the cinnamon and the ginger and the honey.
A few hours later, Rahn pulls to a stop, and Corin jumps out to get some food from the boot. I hear him rustle through the carrier bags, and then he returns to the front. He hands out several packages. The one he gives me is a small one in white paper. He doesn’t even look at me when I thank him.
I eat my food—a chunk of beef and plain couscous—in silence, not joining in with the others’ talk.
“Are you okay, Seven?” Three asks as Rahn starts the engine up again.
I nod as I screw the white paper up into a tight ball. “Fine.”
“You’re a bit quiet,” he says. He turns to face me, and I feel the bottle of Calmness move slightly between us.
“She’s just tired,” Rahn says. “We had a bit of trouble gettin’ our stuff. Seven had to run farther than we did. And I’m exhausted.”
I shoot a glance at him, frowning. Rahn’s never on my side.
Corin snorts, hiding a laugh. Rahn gives him a sharp look, tsking under his breath.
We make it about twelve miles past the outskirts of New Sinyoh, half an hour before complete darkness. I help Three and Kayden get the tarpaulins out of the back of the car. We make two tents out of them. Rahn wants to sleep on his own, as usual. Three, Corin, and Kayden have no choice but to share.
The terrier has found an old stick, and Esther throws it for him.
I make my way back to the car and climb in. My hands shake. Adrenaline pumps through my veins. I want to sprint, but know I can’t. I drag a hand through my dark hair, then tie it up. It’s been down for most of the day because of the raid, and it’s tangled. Probably needs washing too. I’ll sort it out in the morning. Too tired now.
My hand moves to the small bottle of Calmness in my pocket. I slide my fingers down it. It’s cool and refreshing to the touch. I take a deep breath. I look out the window. Esther is still throwing the stick for the dog. Corin and Rahn are talking, heads bent close together. Kayden and Three are making a fire. The site they’ve chosen for the fire is closer to the car than I’d like, but I can’t do anything about it at the moment; the keys aren’t in the ignition.
That’s when I realize it: no one’s looking toward the car. I’m alone.
I take the bottle out of my pocket. My breath catches in my throat—makes a sort of raspy sound, like I’m choking and spluttering at the sight of the augmenter.
Dispose of it. That’s what I need to do. What I should do, because I need to stay Untamed. I look around. I can’t smash it in the car. There’d be too much glass. If I get out of the car, then they’ll all look at me—it may be nearly dark, but there’s a bright moon coming, and I know the others will see.
My fingers, around it, feel strange. Kind of heavy, but not that secure. I bite my lip.
Don’t get rid of it yet. Not without a little taste. It would be such a waste.
My fingers tremble, as if little buds of electricity have grown and blossomed. I unscrew the tiny cap, savoring the tinkling sound the metal makes on the small glass rim.
I’m not in control. It’s an automatic reaction. I turn my back to the window so no one can see what I’m doing.
I steady my shaking legs. I’m not doing anything bad by taking this. I’ll be calmer. I’ll be more use to my group if I can think straight.
The neck of the small, delicate bottle is by my lips. I can almost taste its beauty. What’s the point in feeling fear if I have a chance to be calm?
Raleigh’s right. There is no point in feeling scared. Not when—
Raleigh. I feel the warmth of his breath on the back of my neck and his grip on my shoulder. My eyes sting.
He is one of the Enhanced. I am not.
Disgust fills me. I screw the lid back on the bottle before I can change my mind, then I put it back in my pocket. I am st
ronger than this. But I don’t get out of the car and throw it away. I am not that strong, yet.
Corin nods at the pack of cigarettes in his hand. “Getting harder and harder to find these now.” The flames of the campfire light up his face as he leans toward Esther, a look of contentment on his face.
“No wonder, is it?” Three grunts and looks up from his work. I don’t know how he can see properly in the firelight. He’s acquired some untreated copper wire, a circuit board, and some LED bulbs, and he’s trying to fix them together into something useful, under the watchful gaze of Rahn. “The Enhanced Ones only use them for social purposes. They’re not addicted.”
Corin sticks his middle finger up at Three, who ignores him.
“It’s true,” Esther says. “You need to cut back.”
“It’s hard enough being hunted day and night without giving up this small luxury.”
Three leans forward, toward the flames, the circuit board in his hand. He frowns, eyes dark. “Can’t see a damn thing in this light.”
“Want any help?” Esther says. Corin scowls at her as she moves to my brother’s side.
The two of them work on the board for a few minutes, ignoring Corin’s thunderous expression.
“I’ll help Kayden check our resources,” Rahn says after a few minutes. “We need to know what we’ve got. Need to be prepared for anythin’ and everythin’.”
He gets up, and Corin follows him to the boot of the car. Sounds of rustling follow, mingling with the crackling and hissing of the fire. Kayden’s hooting laughter sounds a few moments later.
“Oi! Three! You got regular tea?” Rahn appears back at the fire in seconds, shoving the box of teabags into my brother’s face. “Are you mad? It’s got caffeine. It’ll dehydrate us, do more damage than good.”
“Hey!” Esther holds up her hands, complete with wires. “He’s doing his best.”
“Well it’s not good enough! It never is.” Rahn’s gaze includes me in his accusation.
I try to ignore him. But it’s hard, because he has every right to be angry with me. Furious, even. He could kick me out easily now, if he wanted.
Untamed Series, #1 Page 13