by Emerson Rose
I touch his chin and move his gaze to mine. “Lennon, listen to me. Whatever happened, it’s in the past. We can try to trigger memories, but not if they trigger anxiety, okay? Take deep breaths in through your nose out through your mouth like this,” I say and demonstrate how I’d like him to breathe. He copies the exercise until his pulse has slowed, and he is calming down.
“Better?” I ask when he appears to have gotten ahold of himself.
“Yes, thank you. I don’t know what that was.”
“It was an anxiety attack.”
“I kept seeing a boy being run over by a car, a big blue car.”
“Maybe that was your brother. Try not to think about it right now. We’ll work on that when you’re stronger. I want you to rest.”
“Okay, I think you’re right.”
“Really? That’s a compliment from a man who always thinks he’s right,” I say trying to lighten the mood and switch the subject from his dead brother to something else.
“If I agree with you, then we’re both right.”
“I can’t argue with that.”
“Of course, you can’t. I argue for a living.”
“Will you do me a favor?” I ask.
“Does the favor have anything to do with you getting into bed with me?” he asks with hopeful eyes.
“No, it doesn’t. It does have to do with you getting some bloody rest, though. Now go to sleep if you would be so kind.”
“Yes, m’lady.” He lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses it for the second time today.
“I think I liked it better when you called me Angel.”
“You do? Me, too. I would be happy to go to sleep, Angel. I would be even happier if you’d come and lay with me so I can fall asleep faster.”
“Good Lord, you’re a barmy man. All right, one last try, but if you try any hanky-panky, I’m leaving you alone.”
“Deal.”
I crawl into bed with him for the third time, and he takes my hand falling asleep almost immediately.
11
Lennon
“Well, well, well, what do we have here? Two lovebirds snuggling in a nest. How adorable,” Fiona whispers in my ear. I open my eyes and see her hovering over my face, her wild pixie haircut sticking every which way, and her dancing azure-blue eyes mocking me.
“Fiona.”
“The one and only. Glad you remember me.”
“What are you doing here, Fiona?”
“I’m here to babysit you, duh. Sleeping Gorgeous over there has to go home and pack so you two can keep playing house.”
I groan. She always has a way of playfully cheapening a situation. “We aren’t playing house, she’s my nurse.”
“Dude, I’m a nurse, and I’ve never curled up with one of my patients in bed. I’ve never had a patient as hot as you either but whatever.” She waves her hand dismissively, and Trinity sits up in bed, startled.
“Oh my gosh,” she says, scrambling off the bed.
“Too late, already saw ya. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody you’re sleeping with clients.” She holds up her finger to her lips to turn an imaginary key and tosses it over her shoulder.
“Fiona, you know I would never take advantage of a situation…”
“Oh, stop it, girl, you know I’m messing with ya. I’m all on board for this little love story. Anybody’s better for old Lennon here than that wretched bitch, Kelly.”
“It’s not a love story,” Trinity says exasperated.
“Not yet,” I add. That makes her fume. I don’t know why she keeps trying to fight it. She’s going to be my woman, and that’s that.
“He’s relentless. He wouldn’t go to sleep until I laid down with him.”
“Len-non, what on earth has come over you?” Fiona says with her hands on her hips in her Superman pose. She’s playing around, and I love it. Trinity, on the other hand, isn’t quite used to the dynamic between us yet. Hell, I’m just getting used to it myself.
“I can’t help it, she’s hot.”
Trinity growls and stomps out of the room. “I’ll be back later,” she yells over her shoulder, and Fiona and I chuckle.
“I think she has a temper, better watch out,” she says.
“She’ll be fine.”
“Hope so because we’re having a party.”
“What?”
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. Callahan and I have planned a homecoming party for you tonight. It’ll be low key, just dinner on the patio, nothing wild. All the guys are coming over, well everyone except Damian, he’s in North Carolina.”
“Why is he there?”
“A NASCAR team picked him to be their new driver. You remember he drives race cars, right?”
“Now that you say that, I do. That’s great, who’s his sponsor?”
“Craze, the energy drink.”
“That’s great, nasty drink, but I’m sure they have a lot of money.”
“Yep, he’s gonna need it with a baby on the way.”
Damian’s having a baby? Suddenly things are all jumbled up in my head, and I can’t sort through them. I close my eyes and put my hand on my head.
“Dude, it’s cool, don’t stress. We can go over everybody’s names and who they’re dating and shit while we get ready, okay?”
I take a deep breath the way Trinity taught me to and blow it out. “Okay, what are we doing first?”
“Haircut and shave first, then shower. Who knows what that skank did to you in your sleep this morning. Then I’m going to cut your hair and give you a shave. Do you remember I used to do hair? Without a license, of course. I didn’t have time to go to school for it or anything, but I used to do hair in my mom’s basement for cash.”
“No, I don’t remember that at all. Do you usually cut my hair?”
“Yep. You’re super thrifty. You always say to spend money like you’re poor, and you’ll always be rich.” She lowers her voice to a whisper and cups her mouth with her hand. “I’m pretty fucking rich. You’re the only one who knows that, though. I’ve been saving money like a chipmunk saves nuts all through college.”
“I taught you that?”
“Yes, sir. I was broke as a joke before I met you. Always spending money on shit I didn’t need.”
“Well, I’m glad to be of help.”
“Come on, let’s get you into the shower.”
She tugs on my arm, and I tug back. “Wait, have you seen me naked?”
“Oh brother, yeah, I’ve seen all of you fools naked at one time or another. Every single one of you got so drunk in college that I had to shower the puke off of ya and put you to bed. I won’t look at your junk. I’m bisexual, remember?”
“Bisexual means you like both men and women, Fiona.”
“I know that, dummy. I’m just sayin’ I have a way bigger pool of fish to pick from. I don’t need one of you dorks. Besides, you and Trinity are perfect for each other. I’m rootin’ for team Lenity, or maybe we should call you Trinon?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“It’s a ship name, you mix the two people’s names together to make a one-relationship name.”
“I think we can skip that.”
“No, no, you need a ship name. We’re going with Lenity. I like it.”
“Okay, psycho, help me to the shower.” She stops and stares at me for a moment before breaking out into a toothy smile. “What?”
“You always used to call me psycho. Dude, your shit’s coming back!” She steps back and does a couple of karate moves in the air.
“Psycho,” I mumble, and she takes my arm squealing with happiness.
“Okay, let me be your bad foot, lean on me and put most of your weight on your good foot until we get into the bathroom. You have a stool in there, so you can sit on it while I cut your hair.”
And just like that, she’s in nurse mode instructing me on the best way to move with my bum foot. When she has me on the stool facing the mirror, I watch her get things out of
drawers like she lives here until she’s ready to give me a haircut. I look into the mirror and see what she means. I do need a haircut and a shave. I’m a mess. I haven’t looked in the mirror since the accident. I was worried I wouldn’t recognize myself, but thankfully, I do.
“So, does Trinity know about this party you’ve planned?”
“No, she took off outta here too fast. I didn’t get a chance to tell her.”
“Don’t you think you should text her or something, so she knows?”
“Eh, she’ll be back. We can tell her then. It’s nothing formal, just dinner and drinks on the patio. It’ll be nicer to have parties out there when you have the pool installed.”
Pool? I don’t remember planning on a pool. Then again, I don’t remember a lot of things. This subject feels odd, like we’ve discussed it before, but with a different outcome.
“I’m getting a pool?”
“Yes, you want one really bad. You’re tired of always going to Hunter’s house to swim.”
“No, you want a pool really bad, and you’re tired of going to Hunter’s to swim. It’s all coming back to me. We’ve had this argument many times. Did you think you could pass it off as my idea because of my brain injury?”
She shrugs. “A girl’s gotta try.”
“Fiona, I can’t believe you were going to try to take advantage of me that way.”
“What’s the big deal? You have that giant frigg’n yard full of flowers. You can’t swim in flowers. You need a pool.”
“I think I like my garden of flowers.”
“You see, you’re not even sure.”
I let out a long sigh. “Sorry, no pool.”
She begins to cut, and I’m surprised at her haircutting skills. I’m even more impressed when she shaves my face without so much as a nick. “You’re a jack of all trades, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, you could say that. I like to keep busy, you know. Idle hands and the devil’s work and all that.”
That triggers a memory. When I met Fiona, she was cleaning the fraternity house trying to earn money for college. She had gotten pregnant and had an abortion, something her big Catholic family was firmly against. She was living in a shelter then, and I helped her get back on her feet. That must be why we are such close friends.
“Yes, I understand,” I say, and I do because that memory triggered another one. My own father threatened to kick me out and cut me off if I didn’t take his spot in the family banking business.
“You do? Are you remembering something?”
“Yes, a lot, actually. I think I’ll be totally recovered by the end of the week if things keep coming back as fast as they have been since I came home.”
“I guess the whore did something right bringing you home then, huh?”
“If by ‘the whore’ you mean the woman named Kelly, then yes, I suppose so. I still find it odd that I don’t remember anything about her at all.”
She snorts. “I don’t, she’s not worth remembering.”
“She can’t be that bad, can she? I did date her for several years, according to many people.”
“I don’t know what you ever saw in her. Let’s put it this way, on a scale of zero to ten, zero being a pretty horrific person and ten being a Queen, Kelly’s a negative one hundred lately.”
“I guess I need to break off our engagement then.”
“Yes, you do, and the sooner, the better. I can’t believe she’s trying to pull a stunt like that.”
“What? Like telling me I want a pool in my backyard when you know I don’t.”
“That’s different. A pool isn’t going to ruin your life. In fact, a pool will make your life much more enjoyable. Think of the barbecues and parties we could have. I was trying to do you a favor.”
“Uh, huh, sure.”
“Party pooper. Okay, you’re all pretty again. Let’s get you in the shower.”
“How are ‘we’ going to do that?” I say holding up my fingers in air quotes around the word we.
“Easy, I’ll help you hobble your cripple ass in there, sit you on the stool, and you can take off your boxers when I’m gone. I’ll leave a towel within reach so you can cover your junk when you’re done, and you can yell for me to come back. Good?”
“What choice do I have?”
“None. Come on, let’s get you in there.”
After a clumsy shower and an awkward journey from the bathroom back to bed where Fiona helped me dress, I am feeling much better, better than I’ve felt in days. She decides to let me rest while she checks on the party progress in the kitchen with Callahan, and I take advantage of that time to text Trinity and tell her about the party.
Me: Heads up, Fiona has planned a party tonight. She’s invited the fraternity guys for dinner and drinks. I didn’t want you to be caught off guard.
Five minutes go by before she replies.
Trinity: Thank you for the warning. I’ll make sure to dress appropriately. Are you okay with me bringing my cat or should I take her to a kennel?
I don’t know if I like cats or not. Have I ever been around a cat? I’m about to find out.
Me: You’re welcome and bring the cat. Bring anything you want, bring everything, I don’t plan on ever letting you go.
I may be coming on a little strong, but that’s okay. I don’t want to be without her, and she may as well know it now. She’s not coming to be my temporary nurse. She’s coming to be mine.
12
Trinity
This guy is too much. ‘I don’t ever plan on letting you go.’ Who says that?
A man with a brain injury who believes his nurse is an angel sent from heaven to take care of him, that’s who. I have to be clearer about boundaries when I go back to his house.
I’m glad he’s okay with me bringing Bikini with me. I really hated the idea of leaving her in a kennel. “We’re going on a little vacation to a big, old spooky house, Bikini,” I say to her as I pack my bag. She meows and hops up to sit on top of a stack of shirts I’ve folded. “You’re going to miss your beautiful view of the ocean. I am, too. The only good thing about going to Lennon’s house is him, and maybe the kitchen that looks like it’s straight out of Traditional Home magazine.”
She looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, and maybe I have. Who would rather be in a fifteen hundred square foot house on a beach than a billionaire’s mansion? I shrug at my reflection in the mirror opposite my bed, maybe a lot of people? What with the whole tiny house revolution going on right now, I might not be in the minority.
I finish packing and head out to my balcony to look at the ocean one last time before I leave. I prop my elbows on the edge of the deck and breathe in the ocean air and listen to the seagulls calling overhead. The neighbors have started setting up for the day’s activities. A volleyball net is at the ready, a fresh pit where the bonfire will be built has been dug, and I can smell meat slowly smoking somewhere down the beach. I hadn’t actually planned on going, but now I sort of wish I could.
A party with Lennon’s friends will be a good substitute. I like almost all of them who I’ve met so far except Cole. He’s dark and moody, and he brings the group down. I don’t know him, but if I had to guess, I’d say he’s depressed or going through something personal. He has bad energy.
“Hey, Brit Goddess, you coming tonight?” Bodhi yells from under my deck. I must be spacing off. I didn’t even see him walk over.
I lean over so I can see him better and shade my eyes against the sun. “I’m sorry, something came up, and I can’t.”
“Man, that sucks. Well, if you change your mind, come on over. It’s gonna be rad.”
I smile and nod. “It’s sort of a work thing, so I’m pretty sure nothing will change, but you have a great time celebrating your win.”
“Will do, chica. Catch ya later!”
“Bye,” I say and wave as he walks away. Maybe I should have asked him to look after my house while I’m gone? I hardly know him, but we are neighbors. I don’t think he would
rob me or break in. I’ll wait and see how long this job at Lennon’s house is going to last. If it’s more than a week or so, I’ll reconsider asking.
On the drive back to Lennon’s, my nerves kick in. I’ve never been an anxious person, but this situation has me all kinds of conflicted. I wish he weren’t my patient, and I’d met him anywhere other than at my place of work. It would make things so much easier.
But then again, he might not have even given me a second look if I’d met him elsewhere. A big part of me believes that his interest in me is rooted in the way we met, him waking from a coma thinking I was an angel. I know people who have had accidents like his can have drastic personality changes that go away with time and healing. I can’t go into this with love goggles on thinking this is the real Lennon when I have no idea what he was like before.
Maybe I should talk to Fiona about it? She’s already caught on that something’s going on between us, and she seems to know him well.
Still, that seed of doubt is growing. It won’t stop until I know that what he’s experiencing is real and not a result of a hit to the head because what I feel is all too real, and that scares me.
At the house, I’m not sure where to park, so I leave my car right outside the doors next to Fiona’s. I grab my bag and Bikini’s carrier from the back seat and go inside.
The scent of freesia greets me at the door where a massive flower arrangement sits on a table in the center of the foyer. I also smell food cooking in the kitchen and decide to head in there before going upstairs in case Lennon is still sleeping.
“Callahan, the house smells fabulous,” I say, and he looks up from the vegetables he is chopping. “Thank you, Ms. Trinity. Mr. Lennon likes fresh flowers. We get them from the gardens out back.”
“It’s not just the flowers. Whatever you’re cooking smells wonderful, too.”
If I’m not mistaken, Callahan blushes before going back to his work. “Ms. Fiona is upstairs with Mr. Lennon. He’s awake if you want to go up, and I’ve prepared the room next to his on the right for you. There are fresh linens on the bed and towels in the bathroom on the heating rack.”