by Emerson Rose
“Only recently,” Evan answers, sitting down. “Something’s going on with him.”
“Well, you’re the shrink, do some shrinking,” Fiona says.
“If it were only that easy,” Evan says.
Callahan brings plates of grilled jalapeno poppers, grilled shrimp with lemon aioli, and peach brûlée and burrata bruschetta. So that’s what rich people serve for appetizers at a barbeque. I could get used to this.
Everyone moans in delight, grabbing up the appetizers as they are passed around. Light banter ping pongs back and forth across the table, and laughter occasionally erupts as I sit and enjoy being part of this tight-knit group. Even in the shadows of this uncomfortably enormous mansion, I feel at home among these people.
Until Kelly arrives.
13
Lennon
That voice, it makes my brain feel raw and exposed when I hear it. The woman who says we are engaged is back. What happened to her this morning, anyway? I remember that she helped me home, and she was in my bed, but after that, my mind is blank.
“Hey, you’re having a party, and you didn’t invite moi?” Kelly says from the French doors that lead to the kitchen. Callahan is right behind her looking apologetic. He raises his eyebrows as if to ask, do you want me to do something? I shake my head, no. I have a strong feeling that she would pitch a fit if she were forced to leave.
“Oh, hey, Kelly,” Hunter says with a serious lack of enthusiasm.
“Whoa, what happened to the Colester over there?” she asks, pointing at Cole who is now completely passed out on the lounger snoring loudly. “Have you guys been partying that long? He looks plastered,” Kelly says.
“No, he had something going on earlier. We’re letting him sleep it off,” Jace says and stuffs a bite of bruschetta in his mouth, so he doesn’t have to answer if she replies.
Kelly scoffs, “Wow, drinking problem much? Geesh, he used to be able to hold his liquor.”
“What are you doing here?” Fiona asks. Leave it to her to be blunt and to the point. We’re all wondering it, but she’s the only one bold enough to put it out there.
Kelly looks annoyed. “You act like you’re the one engaged to Lennon instead of me. You know, I could totally throw you out if I wanted to, couldn’t I, Booboo?” she says, looking at me for confirmation.
“I don’t remember you,” I tell her flatly. She may as well know how I feel, which is nothing.
“Oh, stop, silly. Maybe this will help remind you,” she says, sauntering to my side as she’s pulling something from her purse. She turns her back to everyone at the table and hands me a piece of paper. It’s small and black with a cluster of gray static in the center that looks like the Milky Way without the beautiful blue and purple colors.
“What’s this?” I ask, turning it this way and that trying to make something of the darkish center.
“It’s our baby. You seriously don’t remember? I mean, I know you’re having trouble remembering some people, but your own child?” she says with indignation.
Trinity gasps next to me. When I look up, the table of guests who were only a moment ago laughing and celebrating my homecoming, look positively stricken with shock—wide eyes, hands on chests, and covering mouths, furrowed brows, and fury from Fiona.
“You lying, whore. That’s probably a picture you printed from the internet. No way are you pregnant, and if you are, it’s not Lennon’s baby,” Fiona yells pointing her finger at the picture before snatching it away and shoving it against Kelly’s chest.
“You’re just jealous. You know you’ve wanted him since freshman year of college. He was never into you that way, Fiona, so get over it. He chose me, he asked me to marry him, and we’re having a baby together.” She places her hands over her flat belly and looks down at me.
The sound of Fiona’s chair scraping against the concrete when she stands suddenly is deafening. “Jealous, huh? How about we talk about jealousy a little bit. You have been sticking your nose into our friendship for years. Every time we got together for any reason, you had to be there hanging on his arm peeing all over your territory. I wasn’t jealous, you were. I love Lennon as a good friend, that’s it. He’s like a big brother to me, he’s always been there for me when I needed him, and now that I can return the favor, I’m going to protect him from your poisonous claws. Maybe there’s a good reason he doesn’t remember a thing about you. Did you ever think about that? He can’t stand you, and that’s why his brain is blocking your stank ass out. He never asked you to marry him, and I’d bet my life savings that you’re not pregnant with his baby.”
Kelly lunges at Fiona, and Hunter and Evan are on their feet pulling the two off of each other kicking and screaming. “You’re gonna regret this!” Kelly yells from Hunter’s arms.
Evan is doing his best to hold Fiona back as she yells, “Bring it, bitch, I’ll show you what regret feels like!”
I stand on a shaky leg holding onto the table so as not to lose my balance. “Stop!” I yell, and my head throbs. “This is insane. Fiona, get ahold of yourself. You don’t need to prove your loyalty to me, I know you, I trust you. Get ahold of yourself and sit.” I point at her empty seat and Evan guides her down into it.
“And you,” I say to Kelly. “Fiona is right, I don’t remember you, and I feel like there’s a reason for that. Until I remember more about our past, you’re going to have to give me more proof than an indistinguishable ultrasound photo.”
The soft scrape of a chair being pushed out next to me pulls my attention away from the women momentarily. Trinity is standing, a tear running down her face with the ultrasound photo in her hand. “Where are you going?” I ask.
“Home. Look at the picture, Lennon. Her name, birthdate, and due date are at the top as well as the date of the ultrasound. It’s from Trinity Hospital, and it looks legitimate. You two have a lot to talk about.” She pushes in her chair and starts for the door.
Panic rises in my soul. I can’t lose this woman, baby or not. I’m in love with her, not the wretched woman standing next to me claiming to be my future.
“Angel, don’t go. Please, don’t leave me.”
She stops with her hand on the door and turns her head to face me. “My name is Trinity, and I’m resigning as your nurse. I’m sorry.” Her words are stiff and empty, and they break my heart in two.
“Trinity,” Fiona yells jumping up to follow her into the house.
“You don’t need a nurse, baby. I’ll help you,” Kelly says, putting her hands on my shoulders trying to help me back into my chair. I shrug her off and sit down myself without help.
My head is buzzing with confusion, but one thing is crystal clear. “I want you to leave,” I say with stony determination.
“But, baby I…”
“No, you need to go. Now. I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but I’m not going to be a part of it. Leave and don’t come back until you can prove to me that I asked you to marry you and that you’re carrying my baby.”
“Isn’t this ring and that ultrasound photo enough? What else could you possibly need?” she asks, clutching her hands in front of her in desperation.
“No, it’s not. I want that ring back. I don’t remember you. I don’t remember asking you to marry me or sleeping with you. Until I do, the supposed engagement is off, and I want irrefutable proof that you are pregnant with my child. I don’t care how you get it, but it has to be one hundred percent undeniable proof.” I hold out my hand for the ring and watch as she slips it off of her finger reluctantly. She places it in my palm, and I close my fingers around it and look away.
She huffs, and a sob escapes her before she stomps back into the house. Everyone is silent for a few moments until Cole sits up. “What did I miss?” he asks. I shake my head, and Jace fills him in quietly.
“Are you okay?” Evan asks, moving to Trinity’s seat next to me.
“No. My head hurts, I don’t know what’s going on, my life is a mess, and the only person who makes me feel like I’m nor
mal just quit on me.”
“She’s upset. I’m sure she will come around when she realizes Kelly is full of it. She cares for you, it’s easy to see. Give her some time.”
“I need her.”
“I know. We can take turns staying with you and helping out, though. You’re not alone, you have all of us,” Evan says. Hunter, Edie, Layna, Jace, and even Cole nod in agreement.
“Thank you. I’m lucky to have friends like you, and I’m grateful, but I need Trinity in my life as more than a nurse. I love her.”
Evan rests his hand on my arm. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I have to say it. You’ve had a brain injury, Lennon. That can lead a person to do or say or feel things that aren’t real. When your memories come back, you might not feel the same way about Trinity, and as a health professional, she knows that.”
“You’re right. I don’t want to hear that.” I stand and reach for my crutches. Hunter moves to help me up.
“Please, stay and eat. Callahan put a lot of work into this party, and I’d hate to see it all go to waste. I’m going upstairs to rest.”
“I’ll help you,” Hunter says, and because I’m not sure if I can make it by myself, I accept his offer.
Upstairs, he helps me to bed and sits in the chair Trinity sat in only this afternoon.
“Do you think she’s making all of this up?” I ask Hunter.
“I don’t know. At first, I thought she was just trying to take advantage of your altered mental state with the engagement, but this, this pregnancy thing, it seems pretty extreme even for her.”
“So, you think it might be true?”
He shakes his head. “Lennon, you were done with her. She broke your heart into a billion pieces but…”
“But what?”
“Lately, you two were spending time together again. You brought her to my house a couple of weeks ago for dinner, and you said you were going to see what happened. I think it’s a big jump from that to being engaged, but if she got pregnant, you would have done the right thing and asked her to marry you.”
“Shit. I don’t want it to be true, but I need to know the truth.”
My phone chimes on the table next to the bed. Hunter reaches for it and hands it to me.
The text is from Kelly. It’s a video. I look up at Hunter.
“What is it?”
“A video from Kelly.”
“Aren’t you going to open it?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Maybe it’s her proof,” he says, shrugging.
“That’s why I don’t want to see it.”
“Do you want me to watch it?”
“You’re just going to tell me what it is, and I told you, I don’t want to know.”
“All right. How about I put it on the end table, and you look at it when you’re ready?”
“Fine.”
“Do you want me to stay a while? I can help you get ready for bed if you need me to.”
“No. I’ll be okay. Thank you, though, for everything.” I look at him, trying to convey my need for solitude, and he shakes his head understanding.
“You have my number if you need me, and I doubt Fiona will leave you here alone tonight. You still need a nurse in case of an emergency.”
“Okay. Please try to convince the others to enjoy the food before they go home.”
“I will.” He stands and leans over to squeeze my shoulder before leaving.
I lay staring at the ceiling for about an hour before I hear footsteps approaching my room.
“I brought you some food,” Fiona says in a quiet voice that I hardly recognize.
I watch her approach with a tray filled with food from the barbeque. “Thank you, but I’m not hungry,” I say.
“Too bad, you need to eat,” she says, sounding much more like the Fiona I know and love.
I sigh and sit up against the headboard, so she has a place to put the tray. “I’m going to stay the night in case you need help.”
“Trinity?” I say, hoping she has had contact with her since she left the party.
“Nothing. I tried to call her a half dozen times, and I left messages. She needs some time. I’ll get her back here for you, though. Don’t you worry.”
I take her hand in mine. “Thank you,” I say, catching her eyes for a second before she starts flitting around the room gathering my pajamas and the remote for the television.
“You love her, huh?”
“So damn much it hurts.”
“You sure that’s not your brain injury?”
I chuckle and take a bite of spicy chicken. “No, I’m not sure of anything except that I can’t live without her.”
She plops down in the chair and stares at me hard. “Hunter says you got a video text from the bitch.”
I groan. “I wish he hadn’t said anything. I’m not going to watch it. I don’t care what she has to show me. It’s not going to make any difference. I don’t love her. I don’t even remember her.”
“Your memories are coming back, though. What if you do remember her in a week or a month or a year?”
“Then they come back, but I’ll be with Trinity, and it won’t matter.”
“But what if they do matter? What if you really love Kelly and you decide to leave Trinity for her? What if that baby she says she’s carrying is actually yours? Do you even want kids? Will you want to be a father to it? You can’t just say I’m not going to remember. What’s Trinity supposed to do if you do remember all this shit with Kelly and decide to go back to her? Her heart will be broken.”
“I thought you were on my side here. You’ve been pushing Trinity and me together since I woke up.”
“I’m on your side, but I like Trinity, and I don’t want to see her hurt. She’s a good person, she has morals and a huge heart. The two of you are perfect for each other.”
“Then help me convince her that I only want to be with her.”
“I will when you’ve recovered all the memories you’re going to. If what you and Kelly had together doesn’t come back to you, then it must not have been very important.”
“How long will that take? You just said yourself I might remember weeks, months, or years from now.”
“It’s only been days, Lennon. Give it a few weeks at least. Watch the video Kelly sent you. Go to the OBGYN with her and get proof that she’s not pregnant with your baby. And when you know for sure that she’s lying, you will be able to give all of yourself to Trinity knowing that what you’re feeling is real and baggage-free.”
I push the tray away. “Will you just help me get ready for bed?”
She takes the tray and places it on a table near the window and helps me into my lounge pants. When she’s done, she sits back down in the chair next to my bed.
“You’re going to sit there and watch me sleep?” I ask.
“Yep. Gotta make sure you don’t have another seizure.”
“Won’t you get tired?”
“I rotate day and night shifts. I’m used to being up all night. I’m fine.”
“I don’t know if I can fall asleep with you watching me.”
“Just pretend I’m Trinity.”
“If you were Trinity, I would be doing everything I could to get you into bed with me.”
“Ew, okay, don’t pretend I’m Trinity. Close your eyes. I’ll be quiet as a mouse.”
“I don’t think mice are especially quite creatures.”
“Shut up and go to sleep, man. You’re worse than the kids I babysit. Next thing you’ll be asking for a glass of water and a story.”
“A story would be nice,” I say egging her on. I’m finding she’s fun to mess with.
She sighs. “Once upon a time there was a King who had amnesia. He went to bed and dreamed that Queen Trinity came over for a booty call, and he woke up the whole house moaning and groaning…”
“Okay, stop, no story. I changed my mind.”
“Thought so.”
She pulls out an iPad from a bag n
ext to the chair that I didn’t see her bring in. “I’m going to read smut now. Go to sleep.”
I close my eyes, but sleep doesn’t come. My phone is calling to me from the bedside table to open the video from Kelly and see what it’s about. After an hour, I open one eye to find Fiona staring at me.
“You gonna watch that video now?”
“How’d you know that?”
“I know you, dude. You have no patience, and you’re the most curious man I’ve ever known.”
I reach for the phone and open the video. Kelly and I are sitting at a table. It looks familiar, like a table in the house but not one I’ve seen since I have come home. There is no sound, but I watch as I push a blue velvet box across the table, and Kelly’s eyes go wide with excitement. I say something to her, and she opens the box. My grandmother’s ring is inside, or at least I assume it’s her ring. I can read her lips as she says yes over and over before slipping the ring onto her finger, and the screen goes blank.
Fucking hell, I did ask her to marry me.
“What’s wrong?” Fiona asks.
I hand her the phone and roll over facing away from her as she watches my life crash and burn.
14
Trinity
At home, I drop my bag on the floor by the front door and let Bikini out of her carrier. She bolts for the patio doors and meows loudly to be let out. I open the doors wide and welcome the humid air against my face.
I’m glad to be home, even if the circumstances are less than ideal. I knew in my heart it was dangerous to get involved with a man like Lennon. It went against every professional and personal rule I’d ever made for myself, and now my heart aches. I deserve it, I knew better.
I grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator as there’s not much else in it. I cleared it out before leaving for Lennon’s when I thought I would be gone for a week or two.
On my patio, I don’t light my candles. Instead, I sit in the dark and watch the party going on next door. If I didn’t feel so shitty, I would go over and put in an appearance for Bodhi’s sake. It was nice of him to invite me.