At her return confirmed it.
ALS. Diaphanta!
JAS. Then fell we both to listen, and words passed
Like those that challenge interest in a woman.101
ALS. Peace; quench thy zeal, ’tis dangerous to thy bosom.
JAS. Then truth is full of peril.
ALS. Such truths are.
O, were she the sole glory of the earth,
Had eyes that could shoot fire into king’s breasts,
And touched,102 she sleeps not here! yet I have time,
Though night be near, to be resolved hereof;
And, prithee, do not weigh me by my passions.
JAS. I never weighed friend so.
ALS. Done charitably!
That key will lead thee to a pretty secret,
[Giving key]
By a Chaldean103 taught me, and I have
My study upon some: bring from my closet
A glass inscribed there with the letter M,
And question not my purpose.
JAS. It shall be done, sir.
Exit
ALS. How can this hang together? not an hour since
Her woman came pleading her lady’s fears,
Delivered her for the most timorous virgin
That ever shrunk at man’s name, and so modest,
She charged her weep out her request to me,
That she might come obscurely to my bosom.
Enter Beatrice
BEAT. [Aside] All things go well; my woman’s preparing yonder
For her sweet voyage, which grieves me to lose;
Necessity compels it; I lose all else.
ALS. [Aside] Tush! modesty’s shrine is set in yonder forehead:
I cannot be too sure though.—My Joanna!
BEAT. Sir, I was bold to weep a message to you;
Pardon my modest fears.
ALS. [Aside] The dove’s not meeker;
She’s abused, questionless.
Re-enter Jasperino with vial
O, are you come, sir?
BEAT. [Aside] The glass, upon my life! I see the letter.
JAS. Sir, this is M.
[Giving vial]
ALS. ’Tis it.
BEAT. [Aside] I am suspected.
ALS. How fitly our bride comes to partake with us!
BEAT. What is’t, my lord?
ALS. No hurt.
BEAT. Sir, pardon me,
I seldom taste of any composition.
ALS. But this, upon my warrant, you shall venture on.
BEAT. I fear ’twill make me ill.
ALS. Heaven forbid that.
BEAT. [Aside] I’m put now to my cunning: th’ effects I know,
If I can now but feign ’em handsomely.
[Drinks]
ALS. It has that secret virtue, it ne’er missed, sir.
Upon a virgin.
JAS. Treble-qualitied?
[Beatrice gapes and sneezes]
ALS. By all that’s virtuous it takes there! proceeds!
JAS. This is the strangest trick to know a maid by.
BEAT. Ha, ha, ha!
You have given me joy of heart to drink, my lord.
ALS. No, thou hast given me such joy of heart,
That never can be blasted.
BEAT. What’s the matter, sir?
ALS. [Aside] See now ’tis settled in a melancholy;
Keeps both the time and method.—My Joanna,
Chaste as the breath of Heaven, or morning’s womb,
That brings the day forth! thus my love encloses thee.
Exeunt
SCENE III
Enter Isabella and Lollio
ISA. O Heaven! is this the waxing moon?
Does love turn fool, run mad, and all at once?
Sirrah, here’s a madman, akin to the fool too,
A lunatic lover.
LOL. NO, no, not he I brought the letter from.
ISA. Compare his inside with his out, and tell me.
LOL. That out’s mad, I’m sure of that; I had a taste on’t.
ISA. [Reads letter] “To the bright Andromeda, chief chambermaid to the Knight of the Sun, at the sign of Scorpio, in the middle region, sent by the bellows-mender of Æolus. Pay the post.”
LOL. This is stark madness!
ISA. Now mark the inside. [Reads] “Sweet lady, having now cast off this counterfeit cover of a madman, I appear to your best judgment a true and faithful lover of your beauty.”
LOL. He is mad still.
ISA. [Reads] “If any fault you find, chide those perfections in you which have made me imperfect; ’tis the same sun that causeth to grow and enforceth to wither—”
LOL. O rogue!
ISA. [Reads] “Shapes and transhapes, destroys and builds again: I come in winter to you, dismantled of my proper ornaments; by the sweet splendor of your cheerful smiles, I spring and live a lover.”
LOL. Mad rascal still!
ISA. [Reads] “Tread him not under foot, that shall appear an honor to your bounties. I remain—mad till I speak with you, from whom I expect my cure, yours all, or one beside himself, Franciscus.”
LOL. You are like to have a fine time on’t; my master and I may give over our professions; I do not think but you can cure fools and madmen faster than we, with little pains too.
ISA. Very likely.
LOL. One thing I must tell you, mistress; you perceive that I am privy to your skill; if I find you minister once, and set up the trade, I put in for my thirds; I shall be mad or fool else.
ISA. The first place is thine, believe it, Lollio,
If I do fall.
LOL. I fall upon you.
ISA. So.
LOL. Well, I stand to my venture.
ISA. By thy counsel now; how shall I deal with ’em?
LOL. Why, do you mean to deal with ’em?
ISA. Nay, the fair understanding, how to use ’em.
LOL. Abuse ’em! that’s the way to mad the fool, and make a fool of the madman, and then you use ’em kindly.
ISA. ’Tis easy, I’ll practice; do thou observe it;
The key of thy wardrobe.
LOL. There [gives key]; fit yourself for ’em, and I’ll fit ’em both for you.
ISA. Take thou no further notice than the outside.
LOL. Not an inch [exit Isabella]; I’ll put you to the inside.
Enter Alibius
ALIB. Lollio, art there? will all be perfect, think’st thou?
To-morrow night, as if to close up the
Solemnity,104 Vermandero expects us.
LOL. I mistrust the madmen most; the fools will do well enough; I have taken pains with them.
ALIB. Tush! they cannot miss; the more absurdity,
The more commends it, so no rough behaviors
Affright the ladies; they’re nice things, thou knowest.
LOL. You need not fear, sir; so long as we are there with our commanding pizzles,105 they’ll be as tame as the ladies themselves.
ALIB. I’ll see them once more rehearse before they go.
LOL. I was about it, sir: look you to the madmen’s morris, and let me alone with the other: there is one or two that I mistrust their footing; I’ll instruct them, and then they shall rehearse the whole measure.
ALIB. DO so; I’ll see the music prepared: but, Lollio,
By the way, how does my wife brook her restraint?
Does she not grudge at it?
LOL. So, so; she takes some pleasure in the house, she would abroad else; you must allow her a little more length, she’s kept too short.
ALIB. She shall along to Vermandero’s with us,
That will serve her for a month’s liberty.
LOL. What’s that on your face, sir?
ALIB. Where, Lollio? I see nothing.
LOL. Cry you mercy, sir, ’tis your nose; it showed like the trunk of a young elephant.
ALIB. Away, rascal! I’ll prepare the music, Lollio.
LOL. Do, sir, and I’ll dance the whilst.
E
xit Alibius
—Tony, where art thou, Tony?
Enter Antonio
ANT. Here, cousin; where art thou?
LOL. Come, Tony, the footmanship I taught you.
ANT. I had rather ride, cousin.
LOL. Ay, a whip take you! but I’ll keep you out; vault: look you, Tony; fa, la, la, la, la.
[Dances]
ANT. [Sings and dances] Fa, la, la, la, la.
LOL. There, an honor.106
ANT. Is this an honor, coz?
LOL. Yes, an it please your worship.
ANT. Does honor bend in the hams, coz?
LOL. Marry does it, as low as worship, squireship, nay, yeomanry itself sometimes, from whence it first stiffened: there rise, a caper.
ANT. Caper after an honor, coz?
LOL. Very proper, for honor is but a caper, rises as fast and high, has a knee or two, and falls to th’ ground again: you can remember your figure, Tony?
ANT. Yes, cousin; when I see thy figure, I can remember mine.
Exit Lollio
Re-enter Isabella, dressed as a madwoman
ISA. Hey, how he treads the air! shough, shough, t’other way! he burns his wings else: here’s wax enough below, Icarus, more than will be cancelled107 these eighteen moons: he’s down, he’s down! what a terrible fall he had!
Stand up, thou son of Cretan Dædalus,
And let us tread the lower labyrinth;
I’ll bring thee to the clue.108
ANT. Prithee, coz, let me alone.
ISA. Art thou not drowned?
About thy head I saw a heap of clouds
Wrapt like a Turkish turban; on thy back
A crooked chamelon-colored rainbow hung
Like a tiara down unto thy hams:
Let me suck out those billows in thy belly;
Hark, how they roar and rumble in the straits!
Bless thee from the pirates!
ANT. Pox upon you, let me alone!
ISA. Why shouldst thou mount so high as Mercury,
Unless thou hadst reversion of his place?
Stay in the moon with me, Endymion,109
And we will rule these wild rebellious waves,
That would have drowned my love.
ANT. I’ll kick thee, if
Again thou thouch me, thou wild unshapen antic;110
I am no fool, you bedlam!
ISA. But you are, as sure as I am mad:
Have I put on this habit of a frantic,
With love as full of fury, to beguile
The nimble eyes of watchful jealousy,
And am I thus rewarded?
ANT. Ha! dearest beauty!
ISA. NO, I have no beauty now,
Nor never had but what was in my garments:
You a quick-sighted lover! come not near me:
Keep your caparisons, you’re aptly clad;
I come a feigner, to return stark mad.
ANT. Stay, or I shall change condition,
And become as you are.
Exit Isabella
Re-enter Lollio
LOL. Why, Tony, whither now? why, fool—
ANT. Whose fool, usher111 of idiots? you coxcomb!
I have fooled too much.
LOL. You were best be mad another while then.
ANT. So I am, stark mad; I have cause enough;
And I could throw the full effects on thee,
And beat thee like a fury.
LOL. Do not, do not; I shall not forbear the gentleman under the fool, if you do: alas! I saw through your fox-skin before now! Come, I can give you comfort; my mistress loves you; and there is as arrant a madman i’ th’ house as you are a fool, your rival, whom she loves not: if after the masque we can rid her of him, you earn her love, she says, and the fool shall ride her.
ANT. May I believe thee?
LOL. Yes, or you may choose whether you will or no.
ANT. She’s eased of him; I’ve a good quarrel on’t.
LOL. Well, keep your old station yet, and be quiet.
ANT. Tell her I will deserve her love.
Exit
LOL. And you are like to have your desert.
Enter Franciscus
FRAN. [Sings] “Down, down, down a-down a-down,”—and then with a horse-trick
To kick Latona’s forehead, and break her bowstring.
LOL. This is t’other counterfeit; I’ll put him out of his humor. [Aside. Takes out a letter and reads] “Sweet lady, having now cast this counterfeit cover of a madman, I appear to your best judgment a true and faithful lover of your beauty.” This is pretty well for a madman.
FRAN. Ha! what’s that?
LOL. [Reads] “Chide those perfections in you which have made me imperfect.”
FRAN. I am discovered to the fool.
LOL. I hope to discover the fool in you ere I have done with you. [Reads] “Yours all, or one beside himself, Franciscus.” This madman will mend sure.
FRAN. What do you read, sirrah?
LOL. Your destiny, sir; you’ll be hanged for this trick, and another that I know.
FRAN. Art thou of counsel with thy mistress?
LOL. Next her apron-strings.
FRAN. Give me thy hand.
LOL. Stay, let me put yours in my pocket first [putting letter into his pocket]: your hand is true,112 is it not? it will not pick? I partly fear it, because I think it does lie.
FRAN. Not in a syllable.
LOL. So if you love my mistress so well as you have handled the matter here, you are like to be cured of your madness.
FRAN. And none but she can cure it.
LOL. Well, I’ll give you over then, and she shall cast your water next.
FRAN. Take for thy pains past.
[Gives him money]
LOL. I shall deserve more, sir, I hope: my mistress loves you, but must have some proof of your love to her.
FRAN. There I meet my wishes.
LOL. That will not serve, you must meet her enemy and yours.
FRAN. He’s dead already.
LOL. Will you tell me that, and I parted but now with him?
FRAN. Show me the man.
LOL. Ay, that’s a right course now; see him before you kill him, in any case; and yet it needs not go so far neither, ’tis but a fool that haunts the house and my mistrss in the shape of an idiot; bang but his fool’s coat well-favoredly, and ’tis well.
FRAN. Soundly, soundly!
LOL. Only reserve him till the masque be past; and if you find him not now in the dance yourself, I’ll show you. In, in! my master!
[Dancing]
FRAN. He handles him like a feather. Hey!
Exit
Enter Alibius
ALIB. Well said: in a readiness, Lollio?
LOL. Yes, sir.
ALIB. Away then, and guide them in, Lollio:
Entreat your mistress to see this sight.
Hark, is there not one incurable fool
That might be begged?113 I have friends.
LOL. I have him for you,
One that shall deserve it too.
Exit
Re-enter Isabella: then re-enter Lollio with the madmen and fools, who dance
ALIB. Good boy, Lollio!
’Tis perfect: well, fit but once these strains,
We shall have coin and credit for our pains.
Exeunt
ACT V, SCENE I
Enter Beatrice: a clock strikes one
BEAT. One struck, and yet she lies by’t! O my fears!
This strumpet serves her own ends, ’tis apparent now,
Devours the pleasure with a greedy appetite,
And never minds my honor or my peace,
Makes havoc of my right; but she pays dearly for’t;
No trusting of her life with such a secret,
That cannot rule her blood to keep her promise;
Beside, I’ve some suspicion of her faith to me,
Because I was suspected of my lord,
And it must come from her
[clock strikes two]: hark! by my horrors,
Another clock strikes two!
Enter De Flores
DE F. Hist! where are you?
BEAT. De Flores?
DE F. Ay: is she not come from him yet?
BEAT. AS I’m a living soul, not!
DE F. Sure the devil
Hath sowed his itch within her; who would trust
A waiting-woman?
BEAT. I must trust somebody.
DE F. Tush! they’re termagants;
Especially when they fall upon their masters
And have their ladies’ first-fruits; they’re mad whelps,
You cannot stave ’em off from game royal:114 then
You are so rash and hardy, ask no counsel;
And I could have helped you to a ’pothecary’s daughter
Would have fall’n off before eleven, and thanked you too.
BEAT. O me, not yet! this whore forgets herself.
DE F. The rascal fares so well: look, you’re undone;
The day-star, by this hand! see Phosphorus115 plain yonder.
BEAT. Advise me now to fall upon some ruin;
There is no counsel safe else.
DE F. Peace! I ha’t now,
For we must force a rising, there’s no remedy.
BEAT. How? take heed of that.
DE F. Tush! be you quiet, or else give over all.
BEAT. Prithee, I ha’ done then.
DE F. This is my reach:116 I’ll set
Some part a-fire of Diaphanta’s chamber.
BEAT. How? fire, sir? that may endanger the whole house.
DE F. You talk of danger when your fame’s on fire?
BEAT. That’s true; do what thou wilt now.
DE F. Tush! I aim
At a most rich success strikes all dead sure:
The chimney being a-fire, and some light parcels
Of the least danger in her chamber only,
If Diaphanta should be met by chance then
Far from her lodging, which is now suspicious,
It would be thought her fears and affrights then
Drove her to seek for succor; if not seen
Or met at all, as that’s the likeliest,
For her own shame she’ll hasten towards her lodging;
I will be ready with a piece high-charged,117
As ’twere to cleanse the chimney, there ’tis proper now
But she shall be the mark.
BEAT. I’m forced to love thee now,
’Cause thou provid’st so carefully for my honor.
The Duchess of Malfi Page 62