by Alana Khan
“It says,” Star states as she scrolls through her computer pad, “the mountain range was formed eons ago by a planetary cataclysm. Much of the rock you’ll see is igneous rock from volcanic activity. It hasn’t erupted for thousands of years. It reports,” she pauses while she reads, “you might find fissures, lava tubes, and other evidence of ancient volcanoes.
“For ten credits we get an all-day pass on the grinton. It sounds like a narrow hover-train that goes on a continuous loop up and down. If we get tired, we can just jump on it for a while and enjoy the scenery without the effort.”
“What time does it stop running?”
“1500, which is perfect because we should be off the mountain by then to ensure we get back to the Multi-Pleasure in time for showers and maybe some . . . bedroom activities before we meet the guys at 1815.” She actually winked at me when she said the words ‘bedroom activities’. I think I found a female as interested in sexual explorations as I am. What are the odds of that?
The mountain is beautiful and imposing. It’s rocky and filled with scattered trees and flowers. Some are the same green-and-blue-leafed trees that formed the canopy where we zip-lined. Some have vivid yellow bark and foliage. White, blue, purple, and pink flowers dot the ground, even peeking out from between the sharp black rocks.
Before we get to the trailhead, we’re accosted by natives selling food in little paper bags.
“My secret family recipe,” a wizened old woman sings, her ocher skin covered in wrinkled folds. “Passed down for generations, this trail mix will give you energy at the high altitudes.”
“Only one credit,” a young girl twenty steps away calls. “My momma wakes up early to make this mix every morning. It has secret berries used by the elders to help you breathe in the thin air.”
“We should have bought snacks at the hotel,” Star says, “but let’s get some here.”
“Adventurous,” I tell her. “Who knows if we’re buying packaged dirt and shredded paper?”
“Ah, a skeptic. See? I learn more about you every day.” She buys from both the old woman and the young girl, slips the food into the small backpack she brought that carries bottled water, and we strike off up the path.
There’s such a throng of people starting up the path that we almost get separated during the first quarter mille. At that point, the dirt path stops and hits a ninety-degree wall of rock that has to be climbed with hands and feet. About eighty percent of the tourists grumble and turn back. Several of them complain that the entry fee wasn’t worth it.
“Star, we have plenty of money. It’s not like we can’t afford to take the loss. Want to turn back?” I ask. Star is huffing and puffing when we’re no more than thirty fiertos off the ground.
“No.”
There was a grid of metal rebar exposed at the top of my cell back on Simca. I shiver in disgust as I try to calculate how many hours I spent hanging from those bars in the last twenty-five years. How many millions of pull-ups did I perform? How many times in a single day did I move hand-over-hand from one side of my cell to the other?
I never caught a glimpse of my reflection until I boarded the Fool’s Errand. Now that I have, I see why none of the males suspected I wasn’t a gladiator. I have the physique of one from my labors in my cell.
Star has little upper body strength. This is going to be hard for her.
I climb behind her and to her right, my head even with her waist. Watching her every move, I stay ready to catch her if she falls.
I glimpse her face when she looks down to secure a foothold. Her jaw is set, her mouth turned down in pain as she takes every laborious step.
“I don’t think I can make my way to the top, Star. This is more than I bargained for,” I tell her. “How about when we get to the first grinton stop you take pity on me and let me ride it to the top?”
“I didn’t take you for a quitter,” she scolds. Maybe I’m imagining it, but I think I hear relief in her voice.
A few minimas later, she almost slips, finding a foothold just in time after causing a cascade of loose rock to rain down on the people below us. I’ve tried to let her do this herself, but her pride is going to get her hurt. Climbing even with her, I convince her to slide onto my back, then carry her to the flat grinton stop about two-hundred fiertos above us.
She weighs nothing, and having her on my back means I can go faster than before because I’m not busy ensuring her safety. I do, however, have to listen to her endless complaints that she was doing fine without my help.
“I didn’t know you were so bossy, Ar’Tok. I’m only letting you carry me because it will help you quit worrying about me.”
When we arrive at the flat rest stop, I find us a wooden bench and settle us both onto it. The vista we see from up here was worth the climb. I nestle my arm around her, and we both silently take in the view.
“Wow,” she says.
“Pictures could never do this justice,” I breathe.
We have a two-hundred-degree view, and are surrounded on all sides by a fertile river valley down below. The greens, blues, and yellows of the foliage are even richer near the winding waterway.
“Smell it?” I ask.
“Fresh? The fresh air? Yeah. I never knew what I was missing breathing recycled air from the oxygenator my entire life.”
“One month ago, Star, just one month ago I never could have dreamed I’d see any of this.”
“Me neither.”
Her little hand reaches out for mine and squeezes it hard. “Don’t think for a minute I don’t know that you have no need to ride the grinton. That was sweet the way you did that, though, so I didn’t feel like a failure.”
I squeeze her hand back.
We hear the grinton pulling in. “Want to take this one to the top, or wait for the next?” I ask.
“To the top!” she announces as we rise, still holding hands. I love the pattern our blue and yellow nails make when they’re entwined.
The grinton is at least a century old, it’s been repainted many times, and doesn’t go nearly as fast as the hover that brought us here.
“It’s charming, don’t you think?” Star asks.
We’re busy looking out the window to our right, the view becoming more spectacular with every fierto we rise.
“What’s wrong with that male, Mama?” asks a little voice to my left.
“Shh.”
“Why is he striped like that? Was he bad? Did he get a whippin’?”
I pivot my head farther right, wanting to avoid catching a glimpse of mother or son.
“Shh, Shamdah,” his mother scolds.
“Mister,” the boy persists, “were you bad?”
I know the little male means no harm. Perhaps this is how younglings behave, how would I know, I’ve never been around any.
Star leans around me and pierces him with her gaze. She’s never been around children, either. I worry she'll scold him, although it’s not his fault.
“Those are good questions,” she says, her voice sweet and calm. “He looks different, doesn’t he?”
I swivel my head enough to catch his nod out of the corner of my eye. He’s a handsome humanoid male, with pale lavender skin.
“Is your planet at peace?” she asks, gazing down at the boy and then up at the mom.
“Yes.”
“Peace is a wonderful thing. It makes us feel safe. Do you feel safe with your momma and poppa?” she asks, her voice soft.
“Yes.” He nods.
Star smiles at him. “I’m so glad you have peace in your home and peace on your planet. We all deserve that, don’t you think?”
“Yes.”
“Some people aren’t so lucky. What’s your name?”
He looks up at his mother who gives him permission with a nod.
“Shamdah.”
“Shamdah, what a pretty name. Some people aren’t so lucky. Some people aren’t safe at home or on their planets. Through no fault of their own they get hurt. Terrible, isn’t i
t?”
“Terrible,” he repeats. It comes out sounding like ‘tewwible’.
“So tonight when you say your prayers, be especially thankful that you have peace. Will you do that?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“And if you feel like it, say prayers for people who don’t have it.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Just as I’m thinking what a calm, sweet, loving gift Star is, I feel a little tug at my shirt.
“Mister?”
“Yes?”
“Can I pray for you?”
My chest squeezes. I have never felt this particular emotion before. It is sad and sweet and powerful. I have no name for it.
“Yes, Shamdah, that would be one of the nicest things that’s ever happened to me. But you know what?”
He shakes his head.
“I’m safe now and I’m finding peace.” My eyes dart to Star for a split modicum, then return to Shamdah. “Maybe you could pray for all the people who still need your prayers.”
“Yes, Sir,” he says with a shy smile. His attention is caught by some mountain animals climbing the jagged rocks to his left, and I turn to Star on my right.
“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” I whisper in her ear, then realize that’s barely a compliment. She’s the only good thing that’s ever happened to me. “You’re a wonderful human.”
She nestles against me, both of us looking out the window as the grinton crawls up the mountain. Her muscles are relaxed and there’s a lazy smile on her face.
Inside my skin, though, I feel like a depth charge just exploded, like everything just tumbled into rubble at my feet. And the rubble, just as quickly, is rearranging itself into a new configuration.
My cirr pet Star’s head and neck—their favorite pastime—as cataclysmic changes take place inside me. The male I was for twenty-five years just died, as surely as if I was shot through the heart. I’m resurrected as a new male.
I had been so sad for so long I didn’t know it. And my anger? I hadn’t realized, but it permeated every cell in my body. What was it Star said the other night? Fish don’t know they swim in water? I hadn’t realized I was a walking bag of skin surrounding a writhing ball of bitterness and hatred in the pit of my stomach.
I picture that moment a few minimas ago when Star’s foothold gave way and the rocks and pebbles cascaded down the mountain. I imagine all the negativity that I’ve carried for so long falling away like that, down the mountain. Down and down and out of sight. Inconsequential. Never to be given another thought.
The Gods who abandoned me for the last twenty-five years found me, and to make up for forsaking me, they gifted me with Star, my own personal North Star.
“Forgive me if it’s the wrong time and the wrong place,” I tell her as I brush my lips to her temple. “I love you, Star. Maybe it’s too soon and too impulsive and—”
She turns in my arms and interrupts my rambling with a hard, meaningful kiss. “Not the wrong time or the wrong place. Not too soon or too impulsive, Ar’Tok. I love you, too.”
We’re on the grinton, crammed in with dozens of people. Half of them probably heard and saw my ridiculous admission. But Star and I just look at each other, beaming like happy children. My cirr are overjoyed and can’t be contained from caressing her cheeks in joy.
“When we get home from Ergonn’s tonight, I will fully express my affection for you,” Star says with a wink.
“And I you.”
The grinton slams to a stop, and we file out.
When we’re on solid ground, I know it’s Shamdah tugging on my shirt. “My people have a saying. Amshallah. It means peace be with you.”
“Amshallah to you, Shamdah.”
Chapter Ten
Star
We get off at the last stop before the top of the mountain. I let Ar’Tok drag me toward the edge to show me this latest vista, but my mind is thinking of nothing but what just happened on the train.
Ar’Tok just said he loved me! Wow. And I said it back. Double wow. A sane person would be scolding herself right now, wondering how crazy she is, but I’m not going there. I’m going to double down on this feeling—wallow in it, luxuriate in it.
I’ll be honest with myself, I fell in love with Ar’Tok before we met. I hate to sound like one of the romance novels I read, but we’re soulmates. Well, except for the swacheck music. But that’s the exception that proves the rule.
I envision the pictures I used to plaster all over the bridge when I talked to him. The handsome Simkins with the bronze skin and brass-colored horns. Then I steal a glance at my handsome Simkin of pale skin and patterned red scars that scream of his character. I like this male better. Mom used to say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. She was right. The male holding my hand is the most handsome male I’ve ever laid my eyes on.
We’re standing a respectful distance from the edge, admiring the beauty. It seems that for every foot higher we progress up the mountain the more amazing the view.
The rocky mountain rises behind us, but here toward the edge, it’s flat and grassy. Ar’Tok pulls me with him as we skirt the perimeter. He stays on the outside, keeping me safely away from an accidental fall.
Only a few people exited the grinton at this stop, most of them were waiting to exit until they hit the peak at the next stop. I noticed little Shamdah and his mother re-board the train before it left. Sweet boy. The way he talked to Ar’Tok touched my heart.
“Is that a cave?” I ask, pointing between bushes that almost obstruct the view.
“Want to explore?” he asks.
He tugs me with him as he picks his way through the thick foliage. From some angles it looks like a wall of sheer rock, but from other angles I could swear there’s a cave back there.
We finally arrive at the spot and it’s simply rock, no cave, just interesting shadows.
“We’re away from prying eyes,” Ar’Tok says with a sly grin. “I don’t want to embarrass you, but we could sneak some kisses, couldn’t we?”
He pulls me against the rock, which is cool to the touch because it’s hidden by foliage. The moment seems so ineffably sweet as I wait for his beautiful face to dip toward me, finally breaching the final inch to touch his warm lips to mine.
His cirr grip my head, pulling me closer—as if I had any desire to pull away. His kisses morph from sweet to desperate in the blink of an eye. It’s as if he can’t get enough of me, as if he’s tasting me, committing me to memory.
The last time we discussed it, I told him I wanted to go back to the Misfit. How could I possibly leave him now? As soon as I’m not breathless from his kisses I need to tell him I want us to stay together. The idea of inviting him to join me on the Misfit flits through my mind, but I don’t need to be alone and isolated anymore. Neither of us does.
We’re making friends on the Fool, and they’re such great people. Now that they’ve taken on the new males they rescued from planet Trent, they’ve got a lot of mouths to feed. My hacking income can help.
Ar’Tok has kissed me senseless. My eyes flicker shut and I grab his horns near his head. When he sucks in a swift, aroused breath, I know I shouldn’t have done it. It’s not fair to make him so horny when I can’t fulfill him.
Pulling away before I make matters worse, I grab his hand and walk deeper into the brush.
“Ar’Tok, it looks like we’ve found a cave after all.”
It’s tucked into an outcropping that’s hidden by boulders and shrubs.
“Let’s pretend we’re explorers,” I say excitedly. “Maybe we’re the first people to find this place.” I know this is ridiculous, millions of visitors traipse up this mountain every year. We can’t be the only ones who’ve discovered this place, can we?
We’re completely unprepared to enter a cave. Although we’re both wearing heavy boots and layers of clothing, we don’t have a laser light.
Even though we can’t really explore, this provides a solution to our other predicament
—the horny predicament. We could definitely sneak far enough inside to explore each other—naked.
Maybe Ar’Tok has the same thought, because he asks, “Where are we on time? I want to make sure we don’t miss the last grinton. I wouldn’t want to piss off the evil little cartel male.”
“Yeah, that would be whack. It’s 1420. We should be back on the grinton in forty minutes. That gives us just enough time to . . .” I raise one eyebrow, toss him a wicked smile while I lick my lips, and boldly pull him through the mouth of the cave.