by K. C. Crowne
“What’s going on out here?” Jeanie Lorenzo came out of the house, staring at the three of us.
“Mornin’, Mrs. Lorenzo,” I said dryly. She taught math at the local high school, and even though she was always polite and professional, I knew she didn’t like me. She thought less of me because her family had money.
“What in God’s name is going on, Charles? What’s he doing here?”
Jeanie Lorenzo was a petite woman, like her daughters. She was rounder than I remembered, putting on a little weight in her golden years. Last I heard she’d retired, no longer having to work because of some investments paying out or something. The Lorenzo family was well-to-do. Nice, large house. Brand new cars every other year. Vacation homes scattered around the country. A daughter in law school and another still trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life and the ability to take time off to travel the world or some shit.
The scorn on Jeanie’s face was obvious.
Charles answered his wife. “I’m trying to figure that out, Jean.” His wife joined him, standing by his side and matching his frown.
“I’m here to talk to Cassie,” I repeated.
Charles scoffed, shaking his head. “Listen, I don’t know what business you have with her, but I can promise you Cassie doesn’t want to see you.”
He doesn’t know. Cassie hadn’t told them I was the father of her child, which was for the best. Not only to protect her and the child but also so her parents didn’t disown her. I wouldn’t put it past them to pull some shit like that.
“She’s a big girl, Charles,” I said. “I think it’s up to her if she wants to see me or not. Why don’t you ask her?”
“Because I’m not letting my daughter associate with the likes of you. It’s bad enough she insisted on hanging out with your trashy sister, but—”
I lunged forward, causing Charles to back up and shut his mouth. My fists were balled at my sides as my blood boiled beneath my flesh. “Don’t you dare talk about my sister like that.”
“Madison is married to the sheriff,” Isabelle piped up. “She’s working toward being a therapist. I’d say she turned out okay.”
I didn’t take my eyes off Charles, but I appreciated Isabelle stepping up for Madison. She’d always been a good kid. Just like Cassie. Somehow neither of them got their father’s asshole gene.
“I don’t care what she’s doing now,” Charles said, regaining his composure and feeling cocky, apparently. “She’s a Wiley, and your lot is trash as far as I’m concerned.”
I moved forward, afraid I wouldn’t be able to control my fists. Isabelle and Jeanie stepped between us. Jeanie put her hands on her husband’s chest, while Isabelle just stood there, looking at me as if she was trying to tell me something with her eyes.
Charles began to shout at me, telling me to get the hell off his property, just as the front door opened again. Cassie stepped out onto the front porch.
“I’ll talk to you. Just stop with the shouting,” she seethed, walking down the steps slowly.
As soon as I saw her, I was again taken aback by her beauty. Cassie’s hair was a rich brown, almost black in some lights. But with the sun shining down on her, it was a deep, chocolate brown. Her skin was fair, even paler than usual at the moment, a stark contrast to the dark eyes and hair. Her dress seemed to highlight her pregnant belly, or maybe it was the way her hands rested upon it protectively.
She was carrying my child. A lump formed in my throat, and even though I wasn’t one to cry, I came close to it.
She was so fucking beautiful, and she was pregnant with my kid. In another reality, I would have been ecstatic if my life was different.
“Like hell you are,” Charles screamed at his daughter. “Get back in the house, Cassie.”
“Dad, calm down,” Cassie said, rolling her eyes as she approached. “Do you really want the entire neighborhood knowing our business? Let me just get this over with and talk to him.”
“I don’t want you spending time with this low-life, Cassie.”
“I’m a grown woman, Dad,” she reminded him, her voice rising. She continued past her father and past me as well. I turned to follow her. Her dad continued calling out to her as I caught up to her.
“Cassie, I—”
“Not here,” she hissed. “I’ll talk to you, but not here.”
“Alright.”
We walked to my truck, and I opened the door for her. I helped her climb inside, my hands on her waist as I lifted her into the seat. I hurried over and climbed inside as well.
“Where to?” I asked, my hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.
“Anywhere. I don’t care. Just drive, please.” She sounded tired, and I was worried about her.
I put the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb. We drove for about two minutes before Cassie said, “So talk, Jack. You wanted to talk to me, and now you’re not saying anything.”
“I don’t really know what to say,” I admitted.
She sighed. “Maybe you could start with an ‘I’m sorry for hooking up with you and then abandoning you.’ That might be a good start.”
“Cassie, you know why I had to do what I did.”
“Yeah, I do now, but at the time you could have talked to me. I came here to help you, and you didn’t even trust me enough to talk to me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to get pulled into my mess, but you know, I’m not the only one who did something wrong here.”
“Oh yeah?” Her voice was like a knife, cutting me right in the gut with her words. “Tell me what I did wrong, Jack. Go ahead.”
“Well, for one, you’re just now telling me you’re having my baby. You’ve known for eight months and didn’t think to contact me?”
“Well, geez, let’s see – first, you’re arrested for murder, and while I didn’t think you actually committed the crime, I had no proof either way. Then, when you got off, I tried to call you, but you never returned my call. That told me everything I needed to know.”
“I’m sorry. It was a hectic time,” I said, which even to me sounded weak. “I didn’t realize you were…”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t think it mattered. I know your history, Jack.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I shot her a sideways glance and caught her rolling her eyes with a sigh.
“It means I know you tend to love ‘em and leave ‘em. Nothing wrong with that, you’ve always been very open about not wanting anything serious. It’s my fault for thinking maybe…”
She trailed off but didn’t have to finish that sentence for me to know what she meant. I turned onto a road that led out of town. The roads were narrow and twisted and turned through some of the most beautiful scenery Utah had to offer.
“Cassie, it was different with you,” I finally admitted.
“Was it?” she asked, her voice clipped.
“Yes. I wouldn’t have gotten involved with you if I was intending to dump you. You’re my sister’s best friend. I wouldn’t have done that.”
“So then, why did you drop me?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but the answer was more complicated than I could explain. My feelings for Cassie went deeper than I was comfortable admitting. I’d never been in love, and what we had wasn’t love. It was too early for that. But I felt something with her I’d never felt before.
She was no longer just my little sister’s best friend. She had grown into a beautiful, smart, and kind woman.
Plainly speaking, she was too damned good for the likes of me.
“I’m involved in some complicated stuff, Cassie. I would rather not drag you into it,” I finally said. When she didn’t respond, I knew I had to elaborate. “Dangerous stuff. You heard what happened to Madison? How she was almost killed because of me? Well, I don’t want that happening to anyone else. Especially not you or my kid.”
“But they caught the guys who did that, Jack. They’re behind bars.”
I shook my head and gripped
the steering wheel tighter. “Not all of them.”
“What do you mean?”
“Listen, the less you know, the better. And the less people that know you’re carrying my kid, the better too. It’s safer that way. I don’t want to give anyone leverage over me. Madison has Teddy now, so I feel she’s safer than she used to be. But you and a baby too? I can’t let you get pulled into my shit.”
“I can help you. I have contacts, you know? I may not be a practicing lawyer yet, but I know people. Powerful people that can help you.”
I shook my head. “No way, Cassie. We’re dealing with powerful people as it is. I can’t trust anyone. Besides, I have a plan of my own. Don’t you worry about me.”
“But I do worry about you, Jack.” Her voice was so soft, so genuine that it pulled at my heart. It made my insides ache, hearing the way she said my name.
I wanted to look at her, to stare into her beautiful eyes, but I couldn’t do that. I had to stay strong, keep my eyes on the road in front of me. Both literally and figuratively.
“I’ll be fine. And don’t worry, even if the world can’t know I’m the baby’s father yet, I won’t be some deadbeat. I’ll take care of the baby and you, as soon as I’m free from all this shit.”
I swung back around, completing a loop without even realizing it. We weren’t too far from Cassie’s house. I decided it was as good a time as any to drop her back off. I pulled up to the curb in front of her house, and Cassie just stared at me.
“I think it would be best if we didn’t see too much of each other. We don’t want folks talking, getting ideas. Not that I think anyone would imagine a low-life like me getting with someone like you anyway.”
“You’re not a low-life,” she said fiercely.
“That’s not how they see it,” I said, meaning the people of Liberty. “And you, well, you’re one of Liberty’s shining stars. You’re gonna be a big-time lawyer one day, make everyone so proud of you. Your dad is right – I should’ve stayed away from you. But now it’s too late for that, and I’ll do whatever I can to be worthy of our baby, Cassie. You can trust me on that.”
I hopped out of the truck and walked around to her door. She slipped into my arms, and I held her for a moment, staring into her deep, brown eyes. Her lips were pink and soft, and I remembered how they’d tasted faintly of vanilla when we’d kissed. What I wouldn’t give to have another taste of her sweetness.
I stepped away and stared at the ground. “Like I said, I think it’s better if we don’t see too much of each other for a while.”
I hurried to the driver’s side of my truck and climbed inside. Cassie was still on the street when I started the engine and drove off down the road. I glanced back in the mirror at her, fighting the urge to turn around and make her mine.
Cassie
I dreaded entering the house. I knew what I would find before I even opened the door. I stood on the porch, contemplating getting in my car and driving back to Philadelphia. I still had my apartment, and I could probably tell my landlord I was going to keep it after all. But how would I pay for it? Since I took the semester off from law school, my fellowship was gone. I’d have to get a job, which I could do, sure, but the baby was due soon. I wouldn’t have a job for long if I found one. I was stuck.
With a sigh, I opened the front door and walked into the house. My parents were in the living room, as I expected. My dad hopped up from the couch with my mother behind him. Isabelle came out of the kitchen just as my father shouted, “What was that about?”
“Nothing,” I said, walking toward the stairs. I hoped I could get up to my childhood room and lock the door behind me, closing my parents out.
But my dad stepped in the way, blocking my exit. He crossed his arms in front of him and glared at me with a disappointment I’d seen so many times growing up. But I was no longer a child; he didn’t have the same power over me that he did back then. He couldn’t make me feel small and insignificant.
“As long as you’re under my roof, you follow my rules,” he ordered. “I have never wanted you associating with the Wileys.”
“Dad—” Isabelle tried to butt in. He shot her a look that would have made most grown men shrink away, but Isabelle didn’t waver. She’d grown a lot over the last few years, like me. She walked to my side in a show of support. “Dad,” she started again. “You’re being ridiculous. Cassie is a grown woman about to have a baby. You can’t keep treating her like a child.”
“She’s in my house. If she doesn’t like the rules, she can leave.”
“Charles,” my mother interjected, putting a hand on his arm. “She’s having a baby. You can’t just kick her out on the street.”
My father’s face softened, but only for a moment. He pulled his arm away from my mom and lurched forward, pointing a finger in my face. I backed up, and thankfully he didn’t come any closer. I was already up against the wall.
“And that’s another thing. The fact that you were so irresponsible that you got pregnant just months before finishing your law degree. I expected better of you, Cassandra.”
I stiffened, kicking my chin out. “You know what? I came back because you were sick, Dad. But if you’re gonna treat me like this, maybe I need to go back to Philadelphia.”
“Yeah, maybe you should. Finish that expensive degree I’ve been paying for,” he snarled.
Tears welled in my eyes. All my life, I’d wanted my father to be proud of me. He was a lawyer, and he had inspired me to follow in his footsteps. But no matter what I did, I always fell short. He wasn’t happy with my choice in specialization, telling me there was more money in this field or that one. I’d decided to become a child advocate, to work with troubled youth, and those who didn’t have a voice.
Kids like Jack and Madison.
It wasn’t enough that I went to law school, got good grades, and never got into trouble. No, he always wanted more from me. I realized I’d never live up to his expectations, and I no longer cared.
“Fine, I’ll leave tomorrow,” I said, wiping my eyes. I pushed past him, headed for the stairs. “First thing in the morning.”
“Good. At least in Philly, you won’t be hanging around with Jack Wiley.”
I was halfway up the stairs when I stopped in place. The words spilled out of my mouth before I could take them back. “Well, Dad, I got some news for you,” I said, staring down at him. “You’ll never rid of Jack because he’s the father of my baby.”
The look on my dad’s face was priceless. For a moment, I relished in the emotions that spread across his face. All my life, I’d worried about disappointing him. Now, I couldn’t get any lower than this.
And I didn’t fucking care.
I remembered Jack’s words and said, “No one can know.”
“Of course no one can know,” my dad growled. “Because that low life will have nothing to do with my grandchild. What a fucking disgrace.”
“Whether you like it or not, Dad, my son will know his father,” I retorted hotly.
I didn’t bother to wait for a response. I continued up the stairs to my room, the first door on the right. I went inside and slammed the door behind me, locking it as I pressed myself against it.
I was finally alone, and I let the tears fall. And boy, did they fall. I sobbed into the door frame, my hands punching the wood as I cursed to myself under my breath.
Why did it have to be so hard? I didn’t regret my child. Nothing in the world would have made me regret getting pregnant. It wasn’t easy, but I was ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant. Even though it wasn’t planned, I had always wanted to be a mother. I just imagined it would happen someday. But now at this point in my life, and certainly not with Jack.
Not with a man who couldn’t be a father even if he wanted to.
I pushed myself away from the door and fell onto my bed, exhausted.
My room looked the same as it had in high school. My bedding was the same – a cosmic galaxy print bedding set on a twin bed. I was too big for
the bed and had outgrown pretty much all the clothes still in the closet. My parents hadn’t touched my room after I left, and sometimes, it felt like they never wanted me to grow up.
They wanted me to be the good girl who focused on school first. Who preferred reading over parties and boys. Bookshelves took up most of the room, two full walls, and part of the third. Harry Potter mixed in with the Complete Works of Shakespeare and Dante’s Inferno. If it was in book form, I’d read it.
Mostly because when I was young, I had yearned to be someone else. Someone different. Someone more carefree like Madison. I’d always been too afraid to take risks, which was why I’d been a virgin when I’d slept with Jack.
Not that he knew it at the time; otherwise, he might have had second thoughts.
I rolled over onto my side, curled up in a fetal position. My mind drifted to the night we conceived our child. It was the only time I’d ever been with a man. I wasn’t on the pill because I wasn’t intending on having sex. It had just happened.
I closed my eyes and remembered the way he’d looked at me when I’d knocked on his door. When he’d opened the door, there was an annoyance on his face, but that quickly washed away when he saw me. His eyes moved over my body, taking in every inch of me. No man had ever looked at me the way he did that night.
My tears had all but dried up. Thinking about Jack and that night made my heart swell, and a warmth grow down below. Biting my lip, I let my hand move down my body, over my swollen, extra-large breasts. My nipples were so sensitive I let out a gasp as my fingers brushed over them through the fabric of my dress and the bra beneath it.
I grabbed a pillow from the bed and placed it between my legs, rubbing against it as I touched other parts of my body, remembering the way Jack had touched me.
I’d gone over to help him clear his name and improve his reputation in town. But one beer led to another, which led to him being unable to keep his hands off me. We didn’t even make it to the bed. He’d pressed me up against the wall of his living room, kissing me passionately. His mouth moved over my neck, my chest, and to lower regions.