by Ruby Dixon
4
VEKTAL
A few days later
I kiss my mate’s bare shoulder to wake her up. “Georgie, my resonance,” I whisper. “It is dawn.”
She groans and rolls over in the furs, burying her face against my chest. “Five more minutes.”
I grin, holding her close. She can sleep for a few more moments if she wishes. This is our honey-moons after all, a special trip for just the two of us. I stroke her back, tracing the curve of her spine as she drowses against me.
It has been a hard three days for my Georgie. If it was me alone, it would not take this long to make it back to the humans’ flying cave, but there is no reason to hurry with my mate at my side, so we stop at a hunter cave each night and sleep on a bed of furs and eat fresh food. That part has been nice, though she has been too tired for mating. I do not mind as long as I get to hold her, but it is not a very good honey-moons by human standards, I think. But this is what my mate wants, and I can refuse her nothing.
She has walked resolutely in the snow next to me as much as she can. Sometimes she grows tired and her feet begin to drag, and I carry her in my arms like I would a kit. She grumbles about it but holds onto my neck, relaxing, and when she presses little kisses against my skin? It is worth everything.
Georgie yawns and rubs her eyes. “I’m up.”
“Clearly,” I tease, tapping the tip of her small human nose. “Let us eat something before we go.”
We dress and then sit by the coals of the fire as we eat our morning food. She still does not like the taste of kah, wrinkling her nose at the spicy flavor. Lately we have been making it blander for human tongues, but I did not think to grab it when I snagged kah from the stores. I was distracted, my thoughts on my mate.
“I will catch you something to eat later tonight,” I promise her as she takes a big mouthful of water.
“This is okay. I’m getting used to it. Slowly.”
“You are a bad liar,” I tease.
“The worst.” She wrinkles her nose and grins. “It’s really not that bad, I promise. I’m just being extra dramatic. I’ve never been a fan of spicy food, even human food.” As if to prove she is fine, she takes another big mouthful and washes it down with more water. “Should we get going?”
I nod, then clean up the cave, straightening the supplies and packing things away for the next hunter to come in this direction. Georgie bundles up in her layers, and when she pulls on her mittens, I tug the hood of her cloak over her pretty face and then steal a kiss. “We will be at your flying cave later today.”
Georgie takes a deep breath. “Okay. And Dominique? The red-haired human?”
“She is much closer.” I still remember the heart-stopping sight of her, frozen in the snow, and how for a moment I thought it was Georgie. How my heart had thumped with panic. Just the memory of that makes me uneasy and I pull her against me. I want this day to go well for her, I think, as I press my mate to my chest. I try not to think of all the bad things we can find, if metlaks or other predators have gotten to the corpses first.
“We’ll take her and bury her with the others, won’t we?” Georgie asks in a quiet, subdued voice.
“Of course.” It is important to her, and I will deny her nothing. Even so, I do not want her to be surprised if what we find is not…whole. “My mate, I do not want to fill you with worry, but it is possible others have gotten to them before us.”
“I know,” she says, and I breathe a sigh of relief. “Trust me, it’s been going through my mind constantly. But whatever we can do to put them to rest, it will be enough.” She looks up at me, her eyes bright with khui-blue under the hood. “Thank you again.”
“There is no need for thanks,” I say again.
“Right. Of course.” Georgie smiles tremulously up at me. “I suppose we’d better tackle the day, then.”
But her eyes are filled with dread.
We walk, and she tells me of human burial customs. They are far more ornate than those of the sa-khui. Poems are read, prayers sent, and monuments in stone carved for those that have fallen. We have no such things to give these dead females, but Georgie says it is fine. It is the thought and effort behind it.
I tell her of sa-khui customs, the few that we have. Sometimes if someone does not come back from a hunt, there is no body to be found. Sometimes it is left behind for scavengers, only knives and personal possessions passed on to the family. Horns are etched and cut to show grief, snow poured over the head and the mourner keening their loss. The tribe celebrates the life of the one that has passed, and then…the world goes on. When there are dead, they are taken to an unused cave, dressed in their finest leathers, and then the cave is collapsed so they may sleep eternally. My father—and many others—sleep in such a cave thanks to the khui sickness.
Those were bad times, and I do not want to dwell on them more than I must, though.
We find the red-maned female’s body a short distance from a cave I once shared with Georgie. I remember the spot, remember covering her with snow and marking a nearby rock so I would know the place to show her later. I dig in the snow, with Georgie watching nearby. Once we find the red mane, it does not take long to dig out the rest of her pale limbs. She is frozen solid, and I wrap her in a large sa-kohtsk hide I brought for such a thing. I heft the corpse into my arms and look to my mate.
Her arms are crossed over her chest and her face is paler than usual.
“I can walk,” she tells me, moving close. She looks very small, very fragile.
“Stay near,” I tell her, even though the words are unnecessary. “This is metlak territory.”
Georgie nods. “I remember what happened before, when I fell into their cave and you rescued me. I’ll stay close.” Her mittened hand slips into my belt and she holds onto me.
We travel farther up the mountain, and I deliberately keep my steps slow so Georgie can keep up. It makes for a very slow pace, but eventually, I spot the black hull of the flying cave that brought my mate and the other humans to this world. She said it came from high above in the sky. Now, it is covered with newly fallen snow, the top of it pristine save for the jagged hole that lets fresh air in.
I turn to my mate. “Where should I put the human?” I try to say the words delicately, because I know she is fragile in this moment. Her expression is distant, her eyes big in her face as she looks at the cave, and I know she is lost in recent memories. They were not kind to her, those that stole her away, and I want to hurt all of them for daring to touch my Georgie.
After a moment, her gaze focuses on me and her hand tightens on my belt once more. “Is it safe if we leave her out here? I’d like to bury her and the others outside.”
“We can do that.” I set the dead female gently in the snow. “Do you want to go inside or shall I do it?” She hesitates, and I turn to my mate, a protective feeling sweeping over me. “You do not have to go, Georgie.”
“I do.” She shakes her head. “I need to.”
“There is nothing in there for you.”
She shakes her head again, biting her lip. “I need to remember, so I never forget, Vektal. It’s important to me. Please help me climb up there?” She gestures at the opening at the top. The snow packed around it has given way to ice, and it will be a slippery climb for her.
I hate that she insists…but how can I refuse? I frown at her for a moment, hoping she will change her mind, but Georgie only raises her chin and meets my gaze steadily. There is no shaking my mate from her course. This is important to her…and so I must allow it.
I sigh and kneel into the snow. “Climb onto my back.”
“You’re the best man ever, you know that?” She gives me a kiss on my brow before moving to put her arms around my neck and lean against my spine.
“I am the most tolerant of mates,” I grumble, but her slight chuckle makes me feel better. I pat her hand before getting to my feet, and then wrap her arms around my waist from behind. “Hold on to your male.” Finding handholds on
the strange, cold surface, I begin to climb.
It is a short drop inside, made shorter still by the pile of snow under my feet. It has drifted in here, creating a soft landing spot, and when my boots thump onto the floor of the cave, it is muffled. The interior is dark and still smells of many things. I catch the faint hint of smoke from our fires when we rescued the females, and the stink of their forced habitation here. They were trapped in this small, strange cave for two hands of days and near death when we were able to bring them to the tribe. Keeping a cave clean and fresh was not a priority.
I kneel again and Georgie slides from my shoulders, stepping forward. She clutches her cloak to her neck, her eyes wide and glowing as she looks around the dark interior. “It looks smaller than I remember it,” she whispers. “Darker, too.”
I grunt, glancing around. At the far end of the cave, near the wall where we pried six females from their sleeping pods, I see the two lumps of the carefully covered females. We were to bury them for the humans but were forced to flee quickly when their captors threatened to return. I look to my mate, waiting.
She is lost in thought, staring around her. Her eyes are shiny with unshed tears and she licks her lips. “It’s so cold in here.”
It is warmer than outside, because there is no wind, but I say nothing.
“I left them here with no clothing because I went to get help. They had no food, no nothing, and I wandered off into the snow and met you. While they were shivering, we were flirting.” She swallows hard and then swipes at her cheeks. “I should have tried to get back to them faster. Maybe if I had, Dominique would still be alive.”
Did we come here so she could blame herself? I hold back the words, but this is not like my Georgie. If there is a problem, she is the first to offer a solution. She does not like to dwell on the past. But there is something about this place—and these dead females—that she cannot move on from. “You did the best you could. We could not speak, remember?”
“I could have tried harder.” She swallows, looking around at the cavern. “I could have left your side and come back here—”
“And been eaten by metlaks. Or snow cats. Or ended up dead in the snow yourself.”
But she only shakes her head. She wanders about inside the cave for a bit longer, touching the dirty walls or staring at the floor. She pauses over the two covered bodies, silent for so long that I worry about her. Then, she takes a deep breath and turns to me. “Can we move them outside? I don’t think they’d want to be buried in here. They’d want to be…free.” Her voice wobbles on the last part. “Under the skies.”
I nod. “I can do this.”
For the next while, we do not speak as I carefully take one hide-wrapped human corpse and haul it outside, then the next. Georgie is lost in thought, but when I kneel in front of her and gesture that she should climb on my back again so we can leave, she does so without protest. She holds tightly to me, burying her face against my mane as I climb back out and into the brisk air. I carry my mate back down to the snowy ground and then kneel again so she can dismount, and when she stands before me, I rise.
Georgie stares at the three bodies, her expression hollow. “They’re together now.”
“Tell me where I should bury them, and how deep.” If she asks me to dig to the bottom of the mountain, I will. Anything to ease the sadness from her eyes.
My mate directs me, and I dig deep into the snow at the edge of one of the nearby cliffs. I dig as deep as I can, until the packed snow turns to ice. Georgie tries to help, but I growl at her and she backs off. I do not want her doing hard work, not with our kit so newly in her belly. I can do this for her. While I work, she wraps the skins tighter about each fallen human, making sure the body is tightly covered. She takes a piece of coal and writes strange symbols on the furs, and when I ask what she is doing, she says she writes down everything she knows about each girl so it will not be forgotten.
When that is done, she makes little crosses out of bone and decorates them with beaded thongs that I know Maylak gave to her. “I don’t know what their religions were, but I’m hoping it’s the thought that counts,” she tells me as I hop out of the pit and move to her side.
Then it is time to lay the dead inside. I do so carefully, listening to her instructions as she tells me to lay them head to foot, as if they are all sleeping in a large nest of furs alongside one another. I turn to my mate when the last one is placed.
She is crying.
I am shocked. The other humans cry and weep from time to time, but my Georgie is always competent, always ready with a solution. Right now, though, her eyes are wet and shiny and her mouth trembles.
“Georgie?” I ask, worried. This is not like her.
“You can cover them now,” she whispers, her gaze on the dead and not me.
I nod, and even though I am uneasy at her tears, I do as she asks. She sits beside the grave and cries silently all the while as I cover them, and then when the pit is filled once more, we both get small rocks and outline the graves. Georgie puts her crosses at the head of each grave and then moves to sit at the foot, her hands clasped together.
I sit next to her. It is clear she needs to say a few things. Perhaps this is part of the human burial ceremony.
Georgie stares at the crosses, her eyes wet, and takes a deep breath. “Krissy, Peg, Dominique…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I failed you.”
Eh? I turn to my mate, surprised. “How did you fail them?”
She swipes at her eyes. “I’m the reason they died. I couldn’t keep them safe.”
I shake my head, not understanding.
“I was the leader,” she says, voice shuddering. “It was my idea to fight our captors. That fight helped us break free just as we were crashing.” She bites her lip. “And I was the one that went for help.”
“You saved eleven other females, Georgie. You saved Leezh and Ki-rah and all the others. You came and found me and convinced me to go up the mountain to save them. You have brought life back to our tribe. You have given the males of my people hope for a mate and a future. Would you choose differently if you could go back?”
She swallows hard and shakes her head. “No. I guess that’s part of the reason why I feel so guilty.” Georgie looks over at me. “I’m happy. I should be devastated that I left Earth behind and three of my people died, but all I can think about is you and our baby and the future.”
I reach out and take one of her hands in mine. I understand now. It is guilt that drives her to tears, a chief’s guilt when anyone in the tribe suffers. She feels responsible for these females. I understand. “You feel you should not be happy?”
“Sometimes I wonder.”
“Do you think that they would wish for you to be unhappy? That they do not want any of the others to have good, long lives? Do you think they would not want them to be free?”
“No, I don’t think that. It just feels strange to be so happy even after everything’s been taken away from me, you know?” She holds my hand tightly.
“There is nothing wrong with finding joy in life, my Georgie. Nothing at all. I think your friends would want that for you, as well. You gave everyone freedom. These three might have died, but they did not die as captives or slaves.”
Fresh tears spill down her cheeks. She nods. “You’re right. I know you’re right.”
“Then why do you cry?”
A watery laugh bubbles up from her throat and she squeezes my hand so hard I am surprised at her strength. “Because it’s a good cry. I think I needed to say goodbye before I moved on. And now that they’re buried, I hope they find peace.” Georgie looks at the graves again, still clinging to my hand. “We all need to move on.”
I nod. She does not get up, and I remain at her side. For as long as Georgie needs to sit here, I will be with her. Eventually, her tears dry and her hand clenches mine less tightly. She looks over at me and her expression is less troubled than it has been in many days.
“I think I’m good,” she says to me
. “I needed this. They needed this.” She gestures at the graves. “And now we can all move forward.”
“Then what would you like to do now, my sweet resonance?”
“Go back to our cave?” She gives me a tired smile. “I’m suddenly exhausted.”
It is because she is free of the weight of her troubles, I think. She has been carrying them silently for so long that now they are gone, she feels lighter—and she also feels tired. But I do not say that. I just smile and touch her belly. “The kit will make you sleepy. Shall we go back to the hunter cave for the night, then?”
She looks over at the flying cave with its strange, dark walls. “Absolutely. I don’t want to spend another night in that hellhole.”
5
GEORGIE
I feel…free.
It’s a strange feeling, to wake up after crashing into a pile of furs the moment we got back to the hunter cave, and not feel the weight of obligation on my shoulders. I don’t feel the intense guilt over the deaths of the three women, or the endless worry that I made the wrong decisions and caused their deaths. I don’t feel that ache of sadness over leaving Earth behind.
I’ve left it all back in the graves up on the mountain, where Krissy, Peg, and Dominique have finally been lain to rest.
I did what I could, I saved myself and as many others as I could, and we have a new life here. It’s enough. We buried our dead, and I’ve buried my past—Earth included. I’m free to move forward with my mate.
My wonderful, wonderful mate.
As if he knows I’m thinking about him, Vektal’s arms tighten around me and he holds me closer. He’s all warmth, entirely naked under the furs, and I love curling up against him. “It is early,” he murmurs, stroking my arm. “Go back to sleep.”
“I will,” I promise, but I’m rather awake. My thoughts are buzzing and I feel free. I’m excited about what the day holds, what the month holds, what the future holds.
I touch my lower belly, wondering how long before I start showing. Before it puffs out with the baby inside and my breasts grow and everything changes. Is it weird that I’m looking forward to morning sickness? I want a sign that the baby inside me exists. I want some sort of proof, more than just a missed period or a change in the sound our khuis make when we come together