My Dear Catherine.
I found this most delightful little book when your uncle and I went into town to try and find a suitable present for you. It is a little journal for you my dear niece as you are too old for toys and need no makeup.
You are growing so fast buying you a gown would be quite pointless. As you are 17 years old now you will no doubt soon begin seeing the world differently and will want somewhere to record all your private thoughts in. It could be good for you to reflect on the wonderful adventures you will have in your lifetime and when you are an old married woman with ten children you will be able to look back on your youth and laugh.
Take care my dear girl and your uncle and I will see you all at Christmastide.
Yours,
Mrs Gardner
Dear Diary
The thoughts and feelings of a young girl and her deepest desires of the heart concealed from all but the tender parchment.
It was early one morning in September (a little over 2 years) when she wrote the following in her diary....
...you find me alone today. Mother went to Meryton this morning with my sisters. Father is still here, but in his library, and Mary is in the study. I haven’t seen either since breakfast. The day is warm with some light clouds, but mostly sunshine. The kind of day I long to be outside, but I came down with a summer cold quite suddenly this morning and so am house bound for the day! Since receiving you for my birthday last week, I’ve not had the time to write, but I will today for lack of anything better to do. You see, I am not a great writer, I take little pleasure in it and so my little diary do not be offended if you hear from me but rarely. I hardly think that even if I were a great writer I’d be able to fill your pages with anything of interest.
If we were to live in London with theatres and balls every night, I am sure you would quickly be filled with events and excitement but alas, we do not. We live at Longbourn, near Meryton, a small village in Hertfordshire where nothing really happens apart from the odd dinner party at my Aunt Phillips or Lucas Lodge. We do not have a house in London, such luxuries we cannot afford and, anyway, my father hates town. Do not get me wrong, we are not very poor, my father owns some land of course and has a few tenants, but our family fortune is still little above £2,000 a year...
Had Kitty known then what events would follow on from then, she may perhaps have thought differently. For the very next day.
Dear Diary,
Mother had a visit from Mrs Long today. She came to inform us that a single man of large fortune was to move into the neighbourhood. His name is Bingley and his fortune is reported to be four or five thousand a year. He is to live at Netherfield Park, just three miles away from Longbourn. He will be in possession by Michaelmas and some of his servants are to be arriving next week. He is, of course, much talked about in Meryton and we will get the chance to meet him at the next ball He is to attend with his sisters, the husband of the eldest sister and another young gentleman. Mama expects Mr Bingley to marry one of us. Lydia and I joked that it would be so much fun if he were to choose one of us. Lord how exciting that would be.
The Night after the assembly room ball.
Goodness, Mr Bingley is such a very open man and so amiable, and he loves to dance and engaged several young ladies throughout the evening. Never myself of Lydia though but I care not; there are more than enough gentleman to go around, I was never without a partner. I did notice he was paying particular attention to Jane, which delighted mama of course. His sisters were elegantly dressed. Mrs Hurst’s gown had such a beautiful lace trim, but they were so… I don’t even know. They seemed to think themselves far above anyone else in the room apart from Mr Darcy, the other gentleman who came. Goodness me what an arrogant man! Although he may have ten thousand a year and be tall and very handsome, alas his character was not as pleasing as his friends. He is such a proud man and so disagreeable. I did not like him a jot. He had such an air of self importance, thinking himself far above his company. Everyone agreed, and he was quickly discarded as a suitable match for any of the Hertfordshire ladies. But it seems dear Jane made quite a big impression on Mr Bingley and even his sisters seem fond of her, although I think they dislike Lydia and I but so what? I care not.
A Few days later…
Gosh, is there no end to new acquaintances? We met Mr Collins this evening he’s a cousin and will inherit Longbourn estate after father’s death. He expresses a wish to end all arguments with father and plans to marry one of us. Oh lord I hope it is not me. He is so dull, seriously diary I cannot express it enough. All he talks about is his patroness Lady Catherine De Bourgh; what a wretched woman she sounds like.
Dear Diary,
I suspect Mr Collins favours Jane for his future wife. He is showering a lot of attention on her, but Mama is advising him to look elsewhere. She thinks that it is very likely she would soon be engaged. I suspect Mr Bingley’s five thousand a year is far more appealing to her. I cannot blame her for that for I’d hate to be a clergyman’s wife. Thankfully he appears to have turned his attention to Elizabeth, so I am safe. In far more exciting news, there are officers of the regiment newly quartered in Meryton. Red Coats everywhere.
November
Dear Diary
What a joke. You will never guess what has happened? Lydia and I were bored, and it was no longer snowing so we wanted to go into the village. Our friend Mr Denny had been in town these last few days and we so hoped he would have returned. Lizzy and Jane wanted to come with us and so of course did Mr Collins. Mary being the boring sister of course did not wish to come. Anyway, we were none of us expecting anything out of the ordinary, but as we arrived Lydia and I scanned the streets for familiar officers faces. Our attention was drawn to Mr Denny who upon his return from town had brought a friend, I think I did actually swoon! He is a very tall and gentlemanlike man, as handsome as ever I’ve seen. He was not wearing regimentals though. He was introduced to us as Mr Wickham, and he had returned with Denny from town to join Colonel Forster's regiment, so he will be in regimentals after all. Anyway, we had not been conversing long when the arrival of Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy on their way to enquire after Jane (who had been unwell) approached us and the usual introductions were given.
There was an odd exchange between Mr Wickham and Mr Darcy, probably nothing but Elizabeth was most puzzled. They neither of them seemed pleased. One paled and one reddened. Neither spoke, but after a pause Mr Wickham touched his hat, a gesture that was wholly ignored by Mr Darcy, how rude is that? He just rode on with Mr Bingley as soon as he could. On another note though, Mr Bingley has agreed to give a ball at Netherfield. He invited the whole family and Mr Collins, who’s threatened to dance with us all. The officers have of course all been invited, which is perfect.
After the ball at Netherfield
Oh boo! Mr Wickham was not at the ball. Denny informed us that he had been obliged to go to town, though it was hinted at that it may not have been so urgent if he had not wished to avoid Mr Darcy. Damn him for ruining things! And to make matters worse, Mr Collins is a very clumsy dancer. I think Elizabeth was glad to escape as soon as they were finished with the second of the dances. He was so embarrassing going the wrong way and bumping into people. Poor Lizzy, you know Mr Darcy asked her to dance too. She had only just begun talking Charlotte Lucas when he approached and asked her to dance much to the surprise of everyone in the room. The events of the night didn’t end there either. Lizzy had barely returned to Charlotte when Mr Collins approached again informing them of his discovery that Mr Darcy was the nephew of Lady Catherine De Bourgh; pride and conceit appears to be a family trait. Anyway, he was determined to introduce himself on that account. It is a well-known fact in society that you do not speak to a gentleman of higher fortune and rank than your own unless they first approach you and ask for an introduction, even I know this. Unsurprisingly it displeased Mr Darcy.
Mama was also rather loud, I could hear her across the room. She talked to anyone and everyone of the proud, disag
reeable Mr Darcy and her hopes of an engagement between Jane and Mr Bingley and Mary playing on the piano forte in front of everyone very poorly. Mary is really no good at… well anything, apart from reading I guess, she does that a lot. Lydia and I of course had such fun. Lydia got a little tipsy and was very flirtatious with whichever of the officers happened to be near. She is so much braver than I. Gosh what a night. I was quite exhausted by the end of it.
Dear Diary
I hardly know what to say. Mr Bingley has left Netherfield! Poor Jane, She’s just distraught. But that is not the biggest news. Mr Wickham has finally explained what was the issue with Mr Darcy. He said that he grew up at Pemberley with Mr Darcy and spoke of his fondness of the current Mr Darcy’s father, who was a good man and cared deeply for him. He had wished for Wickham to be taken care of. He talked of wanting to go into the church and the late Mr Darcy’s promised to grant him a suitable living when it became available. However, after his death, when the living did become available, Mr Darcy would not honour his father’s wishes. This is shocking is it not?
Goodness what a to do!
You will never guess what has happened now little diary.
This morning Mr Collins came into the parlour where I was sat with mama and Lizzy and said to mama… “May I hope madam for your interest with your fair daughter Elizabeth when I solicit for the honour of a private audience with her in the course of the morning?” mama was delighted and immediately agreed, summoning me away. Lizzy was much less excited though and begged me not to go, a plea which Mama would not hear of and whisked me away insisting that Lizzy stay and listen to Mr Collins. He wanted to propose to Lizzy who of course rejected the proposal. I cannot blame her really but anyway the house was thrown into chaos, which continued for hours and I suspect will go on for days!
A few days later
...What a joke, you will never believe what’s been happening. After Lizzy rejected Mr Collins, hardly surprising really, I can’t imagine anything worse than being a clergyman’s wife. Speaking of which, Charlotte Lucas is now to marry him! Can you believe it? She has been here regularly and engaging Mr Collins in conversation constantly and thank goodness for that we all thought for the rest of us find his conversation terribly dull. Mother, however, is beside herself. She cannot bare the sight of the Lucas’s now and is less than civil towards them whenever they happen to be here. Poor Lizzy, she gets so distressed by it all. I cannot understand what upsets her so much. Oh and Poor Jane too, a letter arrived from Miss Bingley informing her that they will be staying in town all winter and she will not see Mr Bingley again.
December
Dear Diary
It seems we are all suffering as of late, Lydia and myself in particular. There is a woman who is plain and freckled, hardly worth giving attention to. She has been staying with her uncle in Meryton, and Mr Wickham is giving her far too much attention. It is believed he will make her an offer of marriage any day now. My Aunt Gardener says she has just inherited a fortune of ten thousand pounds, but why should Mr Wickham care? He has an income of his own, what does he need hers for? He’s an officer in Colonel Foresters regiment, I don’t know how much that gives him, but he can certainly afford to buy things. He bought Lydia a ribbon the other day, she wanted it to trim her bonnet, but after buying the bonnet she was left a little short. I wish father would give us more to spend for there are far too many pretty things in Meryton..
...Did I tell you Jane is to go to London? I am so envious, I long to go to town, Lydia does too. We have tried to convince father to take us, but he will not. Jane will travel with my Aunt and Uncle Gardener after Christmas back to their home. I am sure this is all a plan to see Mr Bingley. I will give him credit for being a nice man, but he cannot be all that sensible for having a friend like Mr Darcy. He is handsome enough I suppose but he wears a blue coat. He would look far better I think in a red one. Speaking of red coats, Mr Wickham has followed Miss King to Barnet, just for her ten thousand pounds! We expect him to return engaged to her. I feel sorry for Lydia, she is so fond of him. Perhaps someone will die and leave us a fortune like that and then all the officers would be in love with us...
The Lucas’s are here now. Mother will no doubt be as irritable as ever. I swear she has gotten worse since Charlotte married Mr Collins. I will never understand why it bothers her so much. Good riddance I say! they are gone to Kent now and I shall hopefully never see him again. I find him excessively dull and I will never forgive him for stepping on and tearing my favourite dress. Well, anyway, Lizzy is to visit them in March with Maria and Sir William. I wonder how she will find it? It must be rather awkward for her visiting the home of her former best friend and the man whose marriage proposal she rejected.
March
With Jane still in London, father seemed rather sad to see his favourite daughter also leave the household. Lizzy was also less than pleased to be going to see Mr Collins again, but she was looking forward to seeing her friend Charlotte. According to her letters. Mrs Collins keeps a small and well organised house. They were not a rich couple and there was no love in the match. Charlotte wishes only for a comfortable home and amuses herself mostly in solo activities in a different part of the house. Lizzy was amused to discover that her friend actually encouraged her husband to tend his garden regularly and walk to Rosings Park, the home of his “noble patroness.” Lizzy suspects that Charlotte is as tired of Mr Collin’s “dull” conversation as we all were during his stay at Longbourn and the poor woman has to listen to it every day. Maria Lucas, on the other hand, who’s a good friend of mine thinks the whole experience is much more exciting. Her father left them less than a week after their arrival, but she and Lizzy will remain until the beginning of May. During their stay they visit Rosing’s Park often and so far have dined there eight times. In one of her letters to me she wrote...
Dear Kitty
Rosing’s Park is the most beautiful house I have ever seen, and Lady Catherine is so attentive. She is very sharp and prefers us to sit in silence mostly. Her daughter is a plain creature, she’s pale and sickly and barely utters a word. She is to inherit the estate you know. You will never guess who was here? Mr Darcy! He brought with him Colonel Fitzwilliam, some cousin I think. They came to call on us today. Charlotte claimed it was all down to Lizzy. I find that very hard to believe don’t you? They have never been friends and Lizzy states this openly. However, Mr Darcy looks at her a great deal. Sometimes I wonder if Charlotte knows something we don’t...
...After writing the above, I am now sure that there is something going on that I do not know of. Mr Darcy and the Colonel came to bid farewell to us as they are to return to town. Lizzy was out, she left before breakfast. Charlotte thought she looked pale. She went for a walk. She does that a lot recently... Mr Darcy seemed even more quiet than usual and he barely uttered a word and left immediately. The colonel stayed longer but he too has left now. Upon her return Lizzy seemed rather distressed.
I told her of the visit, she seemed to care little and she looked as if she’d been crying! Whatever could have happened? Lizzy is usually so strong. She went up to her room and has not come down again yet and we are to dine at Rosing’s tonight. I do hope she is well enough by then, for it will not be long before we too are leaving. We will stop over in London to pick up Jane and stay the night at Mr and Mrs Gardener’s before travelling home the day after. Give my love to everyone. I can’t wait to see you all again.
Maria
May
Dear Diary
Oh I’m so distraught. The Regiment will leave Meryton soon and we are all so depressed. I do not see how Jane and Lizzy can possibly continue with their daily lives. And Lydia! Oh it’s so unfair! Mrs Forster, the young wife of the Colonel of the regiment, has invited her to accompany them to Brighton. And she won’t stop bragging. Mrs Forster should have asked me to go too and more so for I am two years older! Lizzy is to go to Derbyshire with our Aunt and Uncle Gardener. They are to stay at Lampton, not far from the Darcy�
��s estate. I do hope she manages to avoid him. She seemed even more than usually angry at him when she returned from Kent. Life is so unfair! No one ever takes me anywhere.
July
Oh Dear Diary
I received another letter from Lydia this morning; it was scribbled and rushed as if she were in a hurry to write it. This I’m no stranger to. Most of the letters I receive are rushed and short. How I hate her always bragging about how exciting everything is at Brighton. And she keeps mentioning Mr Wickham. I am sick of Mr Wickham!
My dear Kitty, oh what a laugh I’ve had. This morning we went down to the beach. Wickham and I walked along the sea front and we found a shell, such a pretty shell it was, all white and smooth “reminds me of your hands” he said taking it gently and pressing it to his lips. “A smooth and delicate frame...”
...and at the ball last night, you know he danced every dance with me, well not all of them. There’s this other woman, the daughter of an officer or something Kitty, I cannot remember her name... not that I care. But she makes herself free with him, batting her eyelashes and laughing at everything he says. But he pays little attention to her. I think this is because she acts that way around everyone and she’s engaged too. Her fiancé is Denny. What he sees in her I don’t understand. She is as plain as anything with no talent at all. I do wish she’d leave my Wickham alone. Really she should pay more attention to her own man and keep her hands-off mine...
Catherine Bennet Page 18