by J.M. Cagle
Susan came out of the bedroom then. She was wearing clothes that sagged on her. For the first time in Courtney’s memory, Susan looked old and tired. She imagined that Susan had been by Anderson’s side through everything, unlike Courtney, who was only told once it was clear that Anderson was on the brink of death.
Susan’s eyes fell on Courtney and a scowl crossed her face, “What is she doing here?”
That took Courtney aback. She wasn’t sure what to say. Susan had never showed such anger towards her before. She found herself glancing at Alex.
Alex replied, “She’s practically family, mother.”
“Well, she isn’t family. She shouldn’t even be here,” Susan snapped, going to walk out of the room. Yet at the last second she stopped in front of Courtney, “I never liked how you threw yourself at Anderson all these years. If you’re hoping for something from the will, you should get that out of your head right now.”
With that Susan stalked out of the room. Courtney watched her go, feeling confused. She turned to glance back at the room, as if someone could offer some sort of explanation.
But none came. George refused to stare at her. Rebecca had her eyes closed and looked as if she was praying. Alex was looking at his phone. Courtney couldn’t believe that Susan had thought she had thrown herself at Anderson. He was eighty years old! She had always strived to make sure to not interfere with his personal life. There had never been a moment that could ever be considered flirting between the two of them.
“You should go see him now,” Alex finally said, “Before mother throws another fit.”
Awkwardly, Courtney stood up. She was sure that her face was on fire. Had the whole family thought that she was into Anderson? How embarrassing! Courtney wanted to go hide somewhere but instead she made herself step into Anderson’s bedroom.
It was dark. The room was illuminated by a lone lamp next to the bed. The windows were closed. Anderson was lying in the middle of the bed with his eyes closed. For a second Courtney was terrified that he had passed on already. But he stirred and opened his eyes.
“Courtney?”
“Y-yes. I’m here.”
She walked over to the bed. How could it be that she had just seen Anderson a little over a week ago? It was as if now that he didn’t have to pretend to be well anymore he had changed into another person completely. Anderson was small and frail, looking shrunken in bed, as he peered at her with glassy eyes.
“Anderson,” Courtney said, shocked, “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have done more…would have taken on more work…”
Anderson offered her a weak smile and managed to shake his head, “No, girl, no point. I knew as soon as I got the diagnosis it was done. I only went through the chemo so Susan wouldn’t be angry with me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“No one outside the family could know. I’m sorry…but I had to put things in order and didn’t want anything leaking to the press.”
Courtney nodded, trying to hold back tears, “I understand. But…”
Anderson closed his eyes and took a slow breath before speaking, “You want to know why Alex was chosen?”
“Yes. I don’t…no one understands…”
“Alex is the right one for the company, Courtney. I know you distrust me on this. You think I’ve made a mistake. Everyone does. George is furious,” He paused, taking another long breath, “But this is the best for the company.”
Courtney wanted to ask him if he was sure about that. She wanted to ask him why he thought Alex was better than George. But each word Anderson uttered seemed to take the energy out of him. So she didn’t push it. Instead she merely nodded.
Anderson squeezed her hand, “Help him, Courtney. If you can help him…he’ll need it…you’ve been by my side of ten years. Now you have to…help Alex.”
“I promise. I’ll help him.” She replied, although she had no idea how she would help someone like Alex.
Anderson smiled at her weakly and patted her hand, “You’re a good kid, Courtney. Thank you for the last ten years,” He closed his eyes, “I need to rest now.”
Courtney had a lump in her throat that threatened to choke her. She knew that this would be the last time that she would see Anderson. She turned around, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. With one last glance at Anderson, she stepped out back into the room.
Whatever conversation was going on in the room came to a halt when Courtney stepped back into it. She suddenly didn’t want to be here anymore. Not with Susan, who thought she had been interested in Anderson. Not with George, who was glowering at her as if she had done something wrong.
“He’s asleep.” Courtney said roughly as Rebecca opened her eyes from her praying.
Alex nodded and stood up, “I’ll walk you out.”
She trailed after him, sparing one glance back at the room she had left behind. George still looked angry. Rebecca ignored her completely. As they walked out of the room, she finally let out a choked sob. Quickly she covered her mouth.
“Sorry.” She said quickly to Alex, who glanced back at her.
He didn’t reply. She followed him down the stairs, thankfully not seeing Susan, and outside. It was chilly today, with a hint of winter in the air. Alex walked her to her car. Courtney wasn’t sure she could talk without starting to cry.
“I’ll see you on Monday.” Alex said.
For some reason, she had been hoping for more. Some words of comfort, perhaps? When Anderson was gone, she was going to be an outsider to this family. Susan had made it clear she had only tolerated her since Anderson was alive. When he passed, would Alex let her go because Susan didn’t like her? She still believed in this company and…she had promised Anderson she would help Alex. No way would she let him know that though.
So instead Courtney nodded.
Chapter Six
When Courtney got to work Monday morning, she knew instantly that Anderson had passed on. The entire aura of the company was dejected and morose. What little light had been remaining on the top floor was gone when Courtney stepped out of the elevator.
It was Suki who confirmed what she had already guessed. Courtney went into one of the bathrooms, closing the door firmly behind her. Even though she had gotten to say good-bye knowing that Anderson was gone for good hurt more than she had imagined. It truly felt as if she was losing another father.
She tried to keep it together but the tears fell. Afterwards, she washed up the best she could and re-applied her make-up. Then Courtney headed to her desk, hoping no one could tell that she had been crying.
To her surprise, Alex was just getting in. For some reason she had assumed he would be home or planning Anderson’s funereal. But he stepped into his office without a glance towards her, shutting the door behind him.
Was he upset? Did Alex feel anything towards the fact his father had just died? Maybe it was unfair of Courtney to assume that Alex felt nothing towards his father dying. She was sure he was grieving in his own way. She just didn’t understand what made him tick yet.
For the millionth time since she had said good-bye to Courtney, she couldn’t help but wonder why Anderson had seen Alex as the best fit for the company. He had asked her to help Alex along the way but how in the world was she going to do that? Alex wasn’t a big talker. The kindness he had shown her in letting her say good-bye seemed to have been fleeting.
“Courtney,” Her intercom buzzed suddenly, “Can you come in here, please?”
At least Alex had said ‘please’. Courtney considered that progress. She went into his office and tried to get a good look at him. He was sitting at his desk. His hair fell in front of his eyes and he looked exhausted. His suit was still ironed to perfection and fit him like a glove. Courtney could make out the muscles underneath his suit and felt her heart skip a beat for some strange reason.
“Yes, sir?”
“Can you book flights to Shanghai for this week? You and I need to go there. Headquarters is in disarray b
ecause father passed on.”
“You want me to come with you?” Courtney had never actually gone to the Shanghai headquarters before. Anderson had always given her work to do back here.
“Yes, is that a problem? Your passport is up to date, correct?” Alex said without looking up from his computer.
“Yes. But…” She trailed off, suddenly unsure if she should bother asking the question.
Alex finally looked up at her. His eyes were unreadable. Courtney decided to ask anyway.
“The funeral. We’ll miss it.”
“I don’t have time to go to it,” Alex replied curtly, “Is that a problem? You said your good-byes, didn’t you?”
Something in Courtney snapped. Maybe it was because Alex was being so flippant with the fact Anderson had just died. Maybe it was the fact she was going to miss the funeral to go to Shanghai.
“Do you even care that he died? Does it even bother you?” She snapped, her voice wavering.
Alex glared at her, “Excuse me?”
But she couldn’t seem to stop, “You don’t even seem to care. Are you happy he’s gone now so you can focus on work? He’s gone so now everyone has to answer to you, right?”
Alex stood up and marched over to her. He seemed to have grown in size but Courtney was too upset to back down. Tears were spilling over and running down in cheeks in spite of her promise not to cry.
“You really think that?” He finally asked her, stopping in front of her.
“And I can’t even go to the funeral because of your mother, right? She hates me! All this time and I had no idea that she felt so strongly about me!” Courtney was crying in earnest now, unable to stop talking, “So now I don’t get to go! I’ve never been to Shanghai before!”
Alex seemed unsure of what to do. Part of her didn’t even blame him. She had never cried at work before, not even when she found out she was being divorced. But Courtney couldn’t help but feel pain at losing Anderson. It hurt more than she had thought it would.
As she cried, she could feel Alex gingerly pull her into a hug. It was awkward. For a second she was thrown from crying. Instead Courtney focused on Alex pulling her in for hug. His arms wrapped around her loosely as if he wasn’t sure if he was violating a million HR codes at once.
The hug jolted her. She realized, pathetically, that it had been ages since she had been hugged. For some reason that made Courtney even more upset. She was crying into Alex’s shoulder now as he held her. His body was stiff, as if the contact was new to him as well.
“There, there.” He said to her, patting her back.
The effect was comical, even though she was sure Alex hadn’t meant it that way. Courtney let out a snort and suddenly was laughing. She pulled away from him. His eyes had widened, as if he had no idea why she was laughing. And what could Courtney tell him? That in his efforts to be comforting he had come off funny? He was still her boss.
“I’m sorry,” She finally said, “So unprofessional. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Alex replied and then added, “I told him to tell you.”
Courtney looked up at him, surprised, “You did?”
Alex, for the first time ever, looked sheepish. In the back of her mind, she thought that it was almost cute but quickly banished the thought. What was she doing?
“I thought that he had worked with you long enough to consider you part of the family. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, he told me, it was just that he didn’t want anyone outside to know. If it came out that you knew he was sick and investors didn’t…”
“I understand,” Courtney replied, “He never did anything without thinking it through completely. I just wish…it all feels so fast. That’s all. I shouldn’t have cried in front of you though. Or mouthed off. I’m sorry. I normally don’t…I don’t act like this.”
“Everyone is feeling the loss of my father,” Alex replied, “Myself included. Listen, Courtney,” He hesitated again and she swallowed hard, preparing for bad news, “My mother doesn’t want you at the funeral. So I think you should come to Shanghai with me for a week. We can work at the headquarters. Turn the place around.”
Courtney felt her chest tighten, “I had no idea Susan felt that way about me.”
“I know. It’s stupid. Dad never thought of you like that. And you always worked so hard that no one ever thought he kept you around because he liked you in that way. I know it. But my family is fucked up. I have no idea why you stuck around so long. Mom is just jealous. Thought you would try to take her place. Don’t let it bother you.”
Courtney was bothered by it, however. Even though she knew it was stupid and she never thought of Anderson that way, it bothered her that Susan had gone ten years without uttering a word to her about it. She wondered how many small and kind things she had done over the years that Susan had resented her for.
“Okay,” Courtney replied, even though she didn’t want to go, “I’ll book the trip for later this week.”
Alex looked relieved, almost as if he had been worried she was going to cry again or something, “Great. Okay.”
An awkward pause fell around them. Courtney wasn’t sure why it felt so weird suddenly. She offered a wan smile and left the office quickly, sitting down at her desk. What had that been about? Maybe she just felt odd because for the first time she had seen a real person underneath Alex’s cold demeanor. She had seen flashes of it before with telling her about Anderson and helping her get to say good-bye.
But for the first time it truly struck Courtney that whatever Anderson had seen in Alex she was starting to see as well.
Chapter Seven
It was seven at night and Courtney was still hard at work. With Anderson’s passing, it felt as if today was never going to end. Was it only a few hours ago that she found out she was going to Shanghai? Felt like decades. Alex was in his office as well but everyone else had gone home. Silence filled the floor. It was slightly eerie. Courtney decided to risk putting on the radio just so she didn’t hear her typing the whole time.
When the elevator suddenly made a noise and someone stepped out of it, Courtney practically jumped out of her skin. She was jumpy from the silence and thoughts of Anderson.
“Who is there?” She called out.
“Just me, Court.”
She relaxed instantly as George stepped into view. Out of all the people she was expecting to see today George had not been on the list. George was in a suit that was a size too large. Maybe he has lost weight. His hair was messy and his eyes bloodshot.
“Alex here?”
“Yes, in his office.”
“Not his office.” George snapped.
Courtney blinked in surprise but didn’t say anything as George stalked past her. Everyone was in mourning. Emotions were running high. Still it was unlike him to snap at her like that. Before she could say anything, however, George was in Alex’s office.
The shouting began almost instantly. George was yelling at him about something that Courtney could barely make out. Alex was slinging words back instantly although he seemed more collected than the last time they fought.
“No one wants you there at the funeral anyway!” George snapped, “And if the will says anything about me taking your position, you are out!”
“Oh, get out, George,” Alex’s voice came, loud yet somehow bored at the same time, “What, have a fight with your wife? Slept with someone else’s wife again and she found out?”
Yikes. Courtney turned away from the office. She never would have pegged George as a cheater. She wondered if Alex was slinging insults that had no factual backing at this point. George was furious he didn’t get control of the company and couldn’t seem to drop it. Like she had known before, things weren’t peachy with George and his wife. But to picture him as a cheater felt a little far-fetched for her. Courtney couldn’t see George being that way. Whatever reason Anderson had to pick Alex over him, it probably had nothing to do with his marriage. Maybe Alex was upset that George had a marr
iage and his own had ended in divorce.
There were more low rumblings between the two of them and then the office door opened suddenly. George looked upset. In spite of herself, Courtney stood up as he slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Alex back in the office. He didn’t say anything to her.
“George?”
He waved her away and walked off but Courtney trailed after him. She hadn’t ever seen George so upset. There was no way that he could be cheating on his wife. Sure, she had always heard they had problems, but George had always been a stand-up guy to everyone. She managed to catch the elevator right before it closed and she got into it with him.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
George shook his head, “No. Far from okay. I’m just upset about everything.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t get the position.”
George turned to her and stared at her with a strange look in his eyes. Courtney couldn’t read it. She patted his shoulder gently, trying to comfort him.
“I’m sorry you can’t come to the funeral,” He replied, “Mom is insane. Everyone knows Dad didn’t like you in that way.”
“And I didn’t like him in that way either,” Courtney said with a sigh, “I’m crushed by his passing.”
“Me too,” The elevator doors glided open and they stepped out into the empty lobby on the main floor, “Listen, you can tell me the truth.”
“Excuse me?” Courtney asked, confused.
George reached out and grabbed her arm. She looked at him curiously, unsure what in the world he thought she was going to tell him. His gaze was unreadable – obviously a trait with Anderson’s kids.
“About how you felt about dad.”
“What?” It was the only thing she could utter because she couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“Listen, the others might think mom is overreacting when it comes to you but you can tell me. You want in on the company. Now that dad is dead, are you worried?”
Courtney’s jaw had gone slack. What the hell was George talking about? How could he honestly think these things about her?
“I’m not worried about anything,” She replied, trying to yank her arm away, “I’m fine. Alex is the boss now.” She hoped that stung him.