Becca: I had a client who could pull that same thing off. We had a lot of sessions about it.
Before Sadie could form any kind of response, the garage door hummed open.
Sadie briskly unloaded the rest of Eli’s requested groceries.
“Mom,” Sadie shouted. “They’re here. We have to say hello and go.”
The door to the mudroom separating the garage from the house opened and Marlee slipped through. She glanced around the now, thanks to Sadie’s mom, pristine home. “Oh my gosh, you didn’t have to clean up.”
As if Sadie’s housekeeping skills reached this level of accomplishment. “Mom did. Don’t give her crap. Cleaning up after her kids makes her feel like she’s needed.”
Marlee walked straight to Sadie and wrapped her in a hug. “Hospital food is the worst, and I’m exhausted.”
Sadie returned the squeeze. “Don’t worry. Mom and I are wrapping up and then we’ll head out.”
Marlee didn’t look thrilled at that idea. “Really? We just got here. Luke wants to spend time with his favorite auntie and his grandma.”
Sadie would love that but—“We don’t want to be in the way.”
“Eli’s making tuna; you’re not in the way.” Marlee leaned closer. “He’s going to be busy with dinner and I’m not ready to be alone with Luke. What if I screw him up?”
Sadie gave her friend a quick shoulder pat. “You’re only on day two. You have lots more time to screw him up.”
“Stay for tuna?” Marlee asked, her expression earnest.
How could Sadie tell her no?
“Okay, I’ll stay. But it’s not tuna. It’s tilapia,” Sadie corrected as Eli came through the door carrying little Luke zonked out in his carrier.
“You didn’t get the tuna?” Eli asked. “Marlee wanted tuna.”
And what Marlee wanted, Eli got her. It was super sweet. Sadie may not have generally believed in marriage as an institution, given all she’d seen. But her parents did remain happily in their union and she bet Eli and Marlee would, too, given how they looked at each other like no one else mattered. Except, Luke, obviously.
Sadie couldn’t help it, she gravitated toward the munchkin in the carrier. “They didn’t have tuna, so I got the next best thing.”
“They didn’t have salmon?” Eli asked. “Because that would be the next best thing.”
Sadie made a kissy face and baby-talked to her nephew. “I got the best option when they didn’t have tuna.”
“Which is salmon,” Eli replied.
Sadie glanced up at her brother from under her eyelashes and sweetly said, “They didn’t teach me in law school that salmon is preferable to tilapia when one is purchasing tuna.”
“That’s something you learn from your big brother, not law school,” Eli replied, passing Luke in his carrier to Marlee. She immediately went to removing the sleeping baby, fumbling with the carrier straps along the way. Luke’s eyes drifted open.
Sadie’s ovaries sighed at the way his little face scrunched up.
Luke stretched his body with the most adorable new baby arm pump. Aw, the little dude was just the sweetest. Maybe Sadie should consider a kiddo for herself. She didn’t necessarily need the guy to go along with a baby.
Marlee lifted him from the carrier, and baby Luke took that moment to spit up all over his mother’s shoulder while simultaneously releasing a gurgling noise in the diaper region.
Sadie side-eyed her brother and best friend. Their eyes were wide, mouths slack, eyebrows raised.
That sound could not possibly be considered normal.
Perhaps Sadie would go the way of Kellie and just get a cat instead.
Eli grabbed a paper towel to mop up Marlee’s shoulder. “Is that normal?”
“How the hell do I know?” Marlee held a squirming Luke against her now puked-on shoulder.
“It didn’t even sound human.” Eli seemed to be willing the child to stop making the noise. Also, he was correct, it sounded like something from one of those scary alien movies that Sadie liked to watch to creep herself out.
She was definitely getting a cat. Not even a kitten, she’d go for the full-grown variety that didn’t want to be petted and avoided her in favor of licking his penis.
“You have to know. You’re his mom.” Eli tossed the paper towel into the wastebasket, more perplexed than the time when he was seventeen and he accidentally backed into Dad’s car with Mom’s car and he didn’t want to tell anyone. Except, Sadie had seen the whole thing, so she totally ratted him out.
“Are you kidding me?” Marlee’s voice got progressively higher.
“Didn’t they teach you that kind of thing?” Eli was frantic.
“Who would teach me what to do when my kid makes that noise?”
Sadie? Sadie wasn’t too concerned. The kid was a Howard male and she’d heard some of the noises that came out of her dad and Eli over the years.
Once Luke finished, someone just had to change his diaper.
For the record, it wouldn’t be her.
Gah, she hoped they had diapers. Surely, they had diapers.
“Who is they? They didn’t teach me anything.” Marlee continued looking at her son like he was a bomb about to explode. “What did they teach you in dad school?”
Luke grunted and made a very unnatural sound in his pants.
Sadie’s gaze bounced back and forth between Eli and Marlee like a ping-pong ball in the world championship ping-pong match.
“Let’s look online,” Marlee suggested.
“What about the book we got at that breathing class?” Eli asked.
Marlee paused, her eyes turning to slits. “The labor skills workshop?”
“The lady said it had answers.” Eli started pulling open drawers. “Where is it?”
“You’re right. The book.” Marlee handed Luke to Eli. “I’ll find the book. I think I know where it is.”
“Maybe we should call the nurse line?” Eli asked.
Was Sadie imagining things or was there a trace of sweat beading on her brother’s forehead? He’d always gotten all kinds of sweaty when something stressed him out.
These two would be a disaster in a courtroom.
“Book. Then nurse line.” Marlee hustled to the office off the kitchen.
“Or, since Mom’s upstairs finishing up, you could just ask her?” Sadie offered. Given her mother’s commitment to hospital-grade corners when she made a bed, it’d be a minute before she came down. “She’s had a lot of kids, you know.” Five to be exact, which Eli knew, seeing as he was one of them.
“I’ll get Mom. Here, you take Luke.” Eli, in full commanding chef mode, tried to pass off the baby to Sadie.
“Not even.” She shook her head. Sure, she would’ve reached for Luke, but given the continuing noises and the way his face turned red as he made them, this was not in the job description of being the favorite aunt. “Would you like me to visit a different grocery store to see if they have tuna or salmon?” Sadie suggested. “I really don’t mind.”
Eli shifted Luke in his arms. “I’ll make the tilapia work. Don’t think you get to escape so easily. If we have to figure this out, you do, too.”
“That’s not true.” Sadie crossed her arms. “At all.”
“Tilapia will be delicious.” Marlee returned with a three-inch thick book still in the sealed plastic sleeve. She cooed to little Luke, “Because your daddy can cook anything.”
“But Daddy and Mommy can’t figure out that you’re filling your pants, now, can they?” Sadie cooed in the same tone Marlee had used.
Luke grunted and started rubbing his face against Eli’s pec, giving a tiny head bob at the end.
“What is he doing?” Sadie asked. She’d figured out the diaper thing, but this didn’t make sense at all.
“Oh, I know this one. He’s hungry. That’s his rooting reflex,” Marlee said, excitement and pride evident in her words.
"I don’t think Eli’s nipples work that way.” Sadie may not ha
ve known that salmon was preferred to tilapia, but she was 99.9 percent certain on this one.
“I can fix this.” Marlee adjusted Luke into her arms, clearly happy she had a solution to something he needed.
Sadie’s eyebrows dropped together as Marlee settled on the couch—didn’t she need to grab a bottle or something?
“Do you want the pillow thing?” Eli asked.
Marlee nodded.
“Should you change his diaper first?” Sadie asked.
“No,” Eli and Marlee said at the same time.
All right, well, that’s what Sadie would’ve done, but what did she know?
Eli helped Marlee with some C-shaped pillow, and Marlee lifted her shirt right over her breast and oh… Oh-kay, no bottle needed.
Sadie seemed stuck in place. This was exactly why guests weren’t supposed to stick around. She opened her mouth. Closed it. Glanced at the door. She should go. Find tuna. Wait until someone cooked or sashimi’d it. Then she could come back.
Sadie just needed to grab her purse that was next to Marlee. She started toward it. “Hey, I’m gonna go grab—"
Eli was assisting his wife with the placement of the baby. “You know what?” Sadie asked, averting her gaze to the stairs. “I’ll go find Mom.” She paused, turning quickly. “Can one of you let Roman know I found his phone in the pantry? I don’t know how to reach him.” She gave her best whatcha-gonna-do shrug toward Eli and took the stairs two at a time. “It’s on the counter,” she hollered, not looking back.
Chapter Eight
Roman wasn’t the kind of guy trapped in his phone all the time. He was, however, the kind of guy who kept tabs on it.
Eli handed Roman his cell. “You should keep better track of this thing.”
“I got Babushka’d.” Roman was going to have to tie the damn thing to his pant leg to ensure Babushka didn’t swipe it again. “Where did you find it anyway?”
“Sadie found it in the pantry.” Chef Eli narrowed his eyes. He did not seem impressed that Roman had been in his space. Roman got it. Eli’s kitchen was his man cave. “What were you doing in my kitchen?”
“I was never in your kitchen, swear to whatever you want me to swear on. But thanks for sending my brother over to let me know you had it. Now he’s giving me shit about losing it, too. So everyone is winning.” Everyone but Roman.
“Are you staying for dinner?” Marlee asked.
He glanced over to where she sat on the sofa next to Eli’s mom, Jennifer. Luke was clearly getting all the grandma cuddles.
“I’m just here for this.” Roman held up his cell. “Seriously, thanks for returning it.”
“Oh.” Marlee sounded disappointed. He didn’t want to disappoint. “Thank you for helping with Lothario and taking pictures of Luke.”
“Hey, man, stay for dinner,” Eli said. “We’ve got plenty.”
Sadie appeared in the living room entryway wearing a black Eats Grille apron that matched Eli’s.
“On that note, I’ve got to get home to Dad.” Jennifer laid Luke in the bassinet beside the sofa. “Call me if you need me.”
“They’ll be calling in like ten minutes,” Sadie said.
So things weren’t going exceptionally well for the new parents?
“I’ll follow you out.” Sadie began untying her apron.
Jennifer snatched her purse. “No, you stay. Enjoy dinner.” She grasped Marlee’s hand. “I’m so sorry I have to run, but you’re doing great. Remember, poop is totally normal.”
Sadie pulled the apron over her head. “I have to get home and check out some case law anyway and, yes, poop is totally normal. What happened with Luke in the kitchen?” She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Luke is perfectly fine.” Jennifer put on what Roman knew to be a mother’s you’re-going-to-listen-to-me expression. “But honey, you spend entirely too much time working. Enjoy your friend. Your brother. Bond with Luke.”
Sadie scowled. Clearly very reluctant, she slipped the apron back on.
“Roman? We’ve got space for one more at the table,” Eli said. His eyes were bloodshot, worse than the aftermath of Jase’s old desert parties.
Sadie nodded enthusiastically behind her brother.
“Stay,” she mouthed.
Well, with that kind of invitation…
“I’d love to,” Roman replied.
Jennifer leaned over to hug Marlee. “I promise you’ll be fine.”
Marlee didn’t look so certain. Eli didn’t look certain. Sadie definitely didn’t look certain.
What the hell had he just agreed to when he agreed to stick around for dinner?
“Do you know anything about babies?” Marlee asked Roman as Jennifer closed the front door behind her.
He shook his head slowly. That would be a no. He knew that they were cute, and he enjoyed looking at them from a distance. Sort of like an exotic lion cub. Don’t get too close or anything because… Yeah, no.
“Darn,” Marlee replied. “Maybe I should call Babushka. She probably knows lots about babies.”
Negative. Roman was up to his eyeballs in Babushka.
“He seems content now.” Roman dipped his forehead toward where the child in question slept.
“That’s now.” Sadie waltzed toward him. “Give him ten minutes. He’s like a miniature-sized tyrant. We should definitely call in additional help.”
Roman was happy to eat with them, but… “Look, if you’re calling in the Babushka reinforcements, I’m heading out. No offense, I just need to be able to find my phone tomorrow and I like the air in my tires.”
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Sadie asked, pulling him to the side.
“What’s up?” He looped his fingers in the pockets of his jeans.
Sadie moved in, whispering without moving her lips as though there were a lip reader nearby who might catch what she was saying. “I’m being held hostage. I need you to get me out of here before Marlee shows me her boobs again.”
“Marlee is showing you her breasts?” he whispered back. Was that a best-friend thing he never knew about? Because he’d totally want to know about that kind of thing.
“Yes,” Sadie said it so low only he could hear. “That’s what I said. I don’t want a repeat. After we eat, you have to get me out of here.”
“Why are they making you stay?” And why were they both whispering?
And what the hell was the dog doing to his… Aw, man. He jostled his foot to remove the chihuahua. It didn’t work—apparently, that only seemed to get the little guy going with more gusto.
“Stop it, Lothario.” Sadie leaned down, grasped the dog in her arms, and held him.
“Seriously, why are they making you stay?” Roman asked again.
Sadie nibbled at her bottom lip before looking around to apparently ensure she wasn’t being listened to. “Because they’re terrified to be parents. Don’t tell anyone I said that.” She did the shifty eye thing again. “Are you going to help me?”
“Okay,” he mouthed and nodded.
She stroked Lothario’s head. “Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“What, okay?”
What part of okay was she not getting?
“I’ll get you out of here after we eat.”
“How exactly are you going to do that?” She glanced to where Marlee was resting on the sofa, nearly asleep herself.
“I have many ways.” Oh boy, did he have his ways.
After being raised in a family of Dvornakovs, he could have added escaping uncomfortable family situations to his military resume.
“I need to know you have a plan.” Sadie looked as unconvinced as Lothario, but Roman totally had this.
“Babushka is my grandmother; I’ve been escaping after eating for decades. I’m surprisingly good at it.”
“Oh.” Sadie drew in a huge amount of air. “What do you want from me in return?”
“Nothing.” He blinked rapidly.
“Nothing?” she asked. “
Everyone wants something.”
This wasn’t a negotiation. She’d asked for his help. He’d agreed. “Why would I want something in return?”
“Because that’s how these things work. I ask for something. You counter. We come to an agreement.”
Is that how things worked in SadieLand? That’s not how things worked in his world. “Maybe I just want to help you out.”
“That’s not how this works though.”
“It could work this way.”
“Not in my world.”
“Then you are living in the wrong world. People don’t do things because of some lame negotiation.”
“Negotiation is not lame,” she said with a huff.
“Okay, you want me to want something?” He bit at the inside of his cheek. “Have a real dinner with me sometime when it’s just us and we can connect.”
“Done.” She held her hand out for him to shake.
He shook her hand and Sadie’s skin against his caused his skin to tingle in a really nice way.
“It’s nice doing business with you,” Sadie said like this was a courtroom transaction.
Was that what this was? The tingle did not feel legal.
“Next time, though, you should add a stipulation on the time frame you expect your payment to occur.” She released her grip and started toward the kitchen.
Was she for real?
“Sadie?” he called, not whispering.
“What?” She turned, shoulders tense. Jaw locked.
The woman seriously needed a solid massage with a side of new age music.
“Calm,” he said, gesturing to his chest and inhaling deeply like his sister did to him after she’d been to one too many yoga classes.
Sadie squinched her eyes together, practically rolled them, and moved back to the kitchen.
With Marlee crashed on the sofa, Roman peeked in on Luke. He was also sleeping, his chest moving up and down with each breath he took.
“You mind keeping an eye on them for me?” Eli asked from the door to the kitchen.
Not at all.
Roman looked away from Luke to Eli. “I’d be happy to.”
Eli wavered a little on his feet.
“When’s the last time you slept?” Roman asked.
Do Me a Favor: A second chance, hilarious rom com! (Mile High Matched Book 4) Page 9