by Susan Harris
Edison was dressed only in shorts, and I ran my eyes over the bruises and burns on his skin. My eyes lifted, and I glared at him, earning a chuckle.
“If I’d known I was gonna be scolded without words, I might not have answered the door. Can’t sleep?”
I shrugged, climbing into his bed. Edison didn’t say another word, simply dimmed the lights and got into bed beside me. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer, and rested his chin on my head. I closed my eyes, feeling more at ease than I had since we’d escaped Maxim.
Letting my breathing even out as if I were already asleep, I felt Edison shift slightly and listened as he dialed his phone.
“I’ve got her. She’s with me. I left the door unlocked so you can see for yourself. Please ask Nickolai not to strangle me; she needs it.”
Then he tossed the phone aside and muttered in my ear, “Go to sleep, Callan. Your thoughts are keeping me awake.”
A snort escaped me, but then I did as he asked, closing my eyes, and letting him hold me until I could no longer resist the lure of exhaustion and slipped into a dreamless sleep.
14
I woke slowly, stretching out my limbs and rolling onto my back, aware Edison was not lingering in bed with me but certain I wasn’t alone in the room. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I sat up, taking the duvet with me as I moved. I stole a quick glance at Nickolai, who leaned back in his seat, carefully studying me with a gentle smile on his lips. I wanted to kiss him, to see if it was different from the dreamscapes, like the softness I recalled from just before I had to leave him to save him.
Then I wondered if it would be as urgent and heated as when I had kissed him drunk, not knowing who was retuning my kiss with as much passion as I craved.
Swallowing hard, my mind taking me to places I needed to not be, I dropped my eyes and, without looking in his direction, I searched for something to quench the thirst in my throat.
A chilled bottle of water was handed to me, and I tried to ignore the electricity I felt as my fingers grazed his when I took the bottle from his grasp. Nickolai waited as I opened the bottle, sniffed the contents, and then drained half of it in one go. Corking the bottle, I pulled my knees to my chest, dangling the bottle in my fingertips.
Summoning courage, I made eye contact with Nickolai and lifted my brows in question.
“Are you asking where Edison is?”
I nodded slightly as Nickolai leaned forward in his seat.
“He went to burn off some excess energy and frustration. He’s taking a few laps of the compound before he returns to training with the guard.”
I frowned and pointed at myself.
“When do you start back with the guard?”
I rolled my eyes to say duh, and for a moment, I saw Nickolai struggle to keep his features blank, as if he were trying not to laugh.
“Theodore said you need another two feeds from the vein, and then once you start talking, we can ease you back to guard duties.”
My scowl deepened, and Nickolai grinned.
“Listen—doctor’s orders, not mine; so if you want to have words with him over his diagnosis, I suggest you do just that.”
Eyes closing, I counted to ten in my head before slipping out of the bed and heading for the door. Nickolai stepped into my path a moment before I reached the door to block my escape. I sidestepped him, but the prince mirrored me, refusing to move until I looked at him.
“Why did you decide not to knock on my door yesterday?”
I huffed out a sigh and almost felt myself grin as I slipped my hand into his front pocket and he went rigid. His phone in my grasp, I grabbed his hand and pressed his index finger against it to unlock it. Then I dragged up one of his typing apps and typed out what I couldn’t say out loud.
I didn’t want to disturb you.
I handed him the phone, and he took his time to read over the words. “You wouldn’t be disturbing me, Ryan. My door is open to you all day, every day.
Snatching his phone back, I typed out another message.
You were laughing and I didn’t want to interrupt you. It seemed rude to drag you under my storm cloud with me.
I handed him the phone and waited for his answer.
The jerk simply smiled at me and leaned down. “It’s okay. You can stand under my umbrella, Ryan.”
My mind wandered back to memories of when he stood over me with an umbrella and shielded me while I grieved for my parents. He was making it hard not to react to him, so I rolled my eyes and took the phone from his hand.
My fingers moved quickly over the keys, and then I held back a smile as Nickolai read the message. Whatever you say, Rihanna.
His laughter felt warm on my skin. “I don’t think I’d look as good in latex as you, Ryan.”
His tone was lighthearted and teasing, flirtatious even. Then he straightened and went to the door, holding it open for me.
“Will you join me for breakfast?”
I frowned even as my stomach answered for me. The thought of being surrounded by all those people looking at me, knowing what had been done to me, set off alarm bells. I shook my head.
“All the guard are running drills with Jack. Breakfast rush is over. It will be just you and me unless either St. Clair decides to join us. Everyone else is either in class or away from the dining area. Let’s go get breakfast.”
Nickolai stepped outside, waiting for me to make the first move, and I mentally scolded myself, reiterating that it was only food and I liked food. I forced my reluctant feet to follow, and Nickolai closed the door behind me, placing his hand on the small of my back to steer me as we went. I was fairly sure his hand on my spine was so he would know if I was gonna bolt.
We made it to the dining hall without incident, and Nickolai guided me to a seat, pulling out my chair. I shook my head as I took my seat, and Nickolai went off in search of breakfast. He came back with a stack of toast, a plateful of bacon, and a pot of coffee. As I wolfed down a slice of bacon, Nickolai went back to get plates for us, returning with a bowl of fruit as well.
So, I ate my breakfast, drank my coffee, and pretended I was civilized and normal. I listened as Nickolai told me about the progress the girls had made in training, the changes he’d made in the guard, and how he was spending time studying the Book of Eve—the rules that governed our species—to see where changes needed to be made.
“I passed all my exams for college as well.”
Nickolai knew he didn’t need to hide his pride with me, and I was proud of him. Without thinking, I set my hand on top of his and gave it a squeeze. Nickolai lifted his hand and pressed the back of my hand to his lips.
Heat flooded my face, and then rogue Nickolai was standing at the head of the table, reaching for me. I pushed out of my chair, and it crashed to the ground behind me, already forgotten as I pressed my palms to my eyes and chanted a mantra to myself.
It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.
My eyes sprang open, and I spun on my heels, leaving Nickolai wondering what he could’ve done to merit such a reaction. I couldn’t tell him; if he knew how easily I’d killed him, even if it wasn’t real, he may hate me. I mean, I hated me for it. I hated that I knew I could kill him if he ever turned into such a monster.
Instead of going to my room, I headed down the corridor, inhaling the familiar scent of sweat and oil. I heard people training in the main hall and couldn’t help myself as I pushed open the doors and stepped inside.
It took them a moment before someone spotted me and the room descended into silence. The entire guard had been called back home, and some I hadn’t seen in years were sparring on the center mat. My fellow classmates studied their every move, and I lingered for a moment as Keegan Johnson and Carter Reeser squared off.
Jack spotted me and beckoned me over, but my attention was drawn to where Farrah Nasir was trying to show Kayla Johnson how to hold her sword properly and failing miserably. Even from where I stood, I could see that Kayla, petite and sl
ight, was not built to carry a heavy sword. I could feel eyes on me as I walked across the gym, my expression impassive as I came to a stop beside the girls.
Holding out my hand, I waited until Kayla handed the sword to me. Without a word, I passed it from hand to hand, feeling its weight. Then I twirled the blade in my hand, testing its balance. This was probably a hand-me-down from her brothers, but it was not suitable for a girl of Kayla’s stature.
Setting the blade down, I walked to the nearest weapons bench and reached for two khukuri. These blades were much lighter, and as Kayla had long arms, she could swipe out a great distance and still have a second blade to fend off an attack. Like most of the girls, Kayla was trained in dance and could easily use her body. Much like I did with my sai, I rotated my wrists, showing her how to move without saying a thing. Both Farrah and Kayla watched me, eyes wide as I stabbed forward with one and slashed out with the other.
By Eve, it felt like coming home.
I was acutely aware that everyone had stopped to look at me. I was about to hand the knives off to Kayla when Edison stormed into the room, his face filled with a thunderous rage I could feel on my skin. His eyes brightened when he saw me, bypassing everyone to come stand near me. He shot a murderous glare over his shoulder at Atticus, and I frowned in confusion.
Turning back, he rested his forehead on mine and said, “I really need to try and hit something, Callan. Spar with me?”
Edison had kept me sane for weeks, so I wasn’t about to deny him. Even when he went to the center of the mat and gestured to Kingsley to toss him a weapon. Kingsley tossed him a kendo stick, and I grinned, a feral sort of thing, as I lifted my brow.
I saw Atticus move to stop what was about to happen, but Nickolai suddenly appeared and rested a hand on my friend’s shoulder, then leaned in and muttered something in his ear. Atticus slumped his shoulders as Edison and I circled one another.
Whirling the khukuri, I let Edison smack my arm with the kendo stick. I hissed at the contact but relished the pain. When Edison struck out again, I blocked his blow with both khukuri. I pulled them apart and released the kendo as Edison went low and lashed out. I leapt up and used his back to roll off and come up behind him. I kicked him in the ass and sent him flying forward.
Edison didn’t so much as falter as he turned and immediately came back at me. We lost ourselves in a blur of movement, each blow and each sting a healing balm in my mind. As Edison charged me, I sliced forward with the blade and cut through the kendo. Kayla gasped behind me, and I hoped this would serve as a reminder that these were not toys and that wielding one did not mean it would keep you alive, but at least she might have a fighting chance.
Edison tossed the kendo to the side and, grinning, beckoned me forward. I sank the khukuri into the mat and lunged for him. We met in the middle, and Edison pinned me to the ground with my hands above my head, grinning like he’d just won. He knew I packed one hell of a punch, but he’d forgotten to focus on my legs.
Pulling my knees in, I quickly put the soles of my feet on his chest and pushed as hard as I could. Edison let go a second later and I pounced, grabbing the khukuri as I dropped onto his chest and plunged the blades at either side of his head. One of the blades nicked his ear, blood dripping on the mat as I got to my feet and held out my hand to him.
Hand clasped in mine, Edison let me pull him to his feet. We were both panting hard, exhausted, sweat drenching our skin. I wondered what had sent Edison into such a fury, even as he lifted his gaze to Atticus. Tension crackled between the brothers, and I nudged Edison with my elbow and waved my hand, gesturing between them.
“It’s nothing,” Edison growled.
I gave him a look that said I was believing none of the BS he was sprouting, but I let him stew in his anger for a minute more before elbowing him again with some added oomph that had him sucking in a breath.
“Okay, okay, Callan,” he grunted, then turned his back to Atticus and lowered his voice. “Atticus took me for a run this morning and asked what happened between us in that cell. Asked me if yesterday wasn’t the first time we’d slept like that. He practically accused me of taking advantage of you while you were out of your goddamn mind. Punk is lucky I didn’t knock him the hell out.”
I must have looked confused because Edison dropped his voice to a dangerous level as he spelled it out for me. “He thinks we hooked up in captivity.”
My head snapped round so fast I was surprised I didn’t get whiplash, and I was moving before I noticed I was doing it. A white-hot blaze of fury was burning through my veins as I reached Atticus and shoved him hard.
Atticus stumbled back, and I shoved him again, seething that one of my closest allies and confidants would think so little of me, of his brother.
“Ryan, let me explain.”
I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him forward before slamming him against the door. “You stupid, arrogant, son of a bitch. How fucking dare you. Do you know what we went through? Did your brother tell you what happened to us?”
“Ryan, listen—”
“No,” I yelled, surprised at the sound of my own voice. “You listen to me, and you listen fucking good. Edison and I did not hook up while we were being tortured. We were more worried about staying alive than getting down and dirty. You judged us before hearing our side of the story. What you can do is take your judgmental, misogynistic thinking and shove it up your ass.”
Laughing bitterly as Atticus’s face crumbled, I released him and took a step back. “I never judged you, and I would have expected more from the vampire who stopped me from committing suicide all those years ago. You owe your brother an apology, because if it wasn’t for him being a brother to me, then I would be dead right now—or worse, a rogue.”
Storming away from Atticus, I passed Edison, who was grinning at me like a maniac. Pulling the khukuri from the mat, I strode to Kayla, handed her the knives, and said, “Sword is too heavy for untrained wrists. Try these out and see if they work. If not, ask you brother to buy you some tactical knives.”
I reached out and took a throwing star in my hand, and with the tiniest flick of my wrist, I sent the star whistling across the room. There was a collective gasp as the star lodged itself in the wall about three inches above Atticus’s head.
Ignoring the absolute horror on every single vampire’s face—well, apart from Edison and Nickolai, who looked very smug indeed—I inclined my body back to the girls and said, “Or, learn to throw those bad boys. Practice throwing them while you’re running away. Lodge one in someone’s head, and that bastard isn’t following you anywhere.”
I was done with this night. I was done with all this bullshit. But then Atticus was looking at me like I’d kicked his puppy instead of him, so before I made my exit, I paused in front of Atticus again and looked him dead in the eyes.
“Nothing happened with me and Edison. Nothing will ever happen between me and Edison. He showed up when I needed him, and for that I will always be grateful. You showed up when I needed you, too, and for that I will always be grateful. This doesn’t change us. Doesn’t change the fact that we are family.”
I pointed to Edison. “You owe him a massive apology for thinking so little of him, especially when he knows how I feel about—”
I clamped my mouth shut again, terrified of what almost slipped from my lips. I had forgotten to think before I spoke, even though some would say I had never possessed that quality. My eyes darted to Nickolai, whose face remained expressionless as I lifted my eyes to the ceiling and asked Eve for guidance.
As I took my leave, I heard Edison say, “So, all along we’ve been tiptoeing around trying to get her to talk, and all we had to do was piss her off?”
Laughter sounded as I stepped outside, but I knew they weren’t laughing at me but at Edison’s feeble attempt to relieve the tension in the air. He was right, though; I hadn’t even considered what I was doing when I’d opened my mouth, and now I knew I was back in reality.
My fa
ce heated as I remembered what I’d almost said in front of Nickolai, knowing he would be like a dog with a bone now that I’d handed Atticus his ass in front of nearly the entire royal guard.
“Ryan.”
If I could have groaned out loud I would have, but as I lifted my gaze to my liege I found myself drained of fight. Queen Katerina looked as regal as ever, her long blonde hair in loose curls, her heart-shaped face makeup free apart from a sheen on her lips. Even now, dressed in simple black pants and a colorful floral blouse in a royal blue that highlighted her eyes, she looked stunning. But then again, she was, just as her eldest son was, born to rule.
She gave me a warm smile and inclined her head. “Walk with me.”
Something in the tone of her voice made it clear this wasn’t a request. And like the obedient little solider I was, I fell into step beside her.
15
Walking alongside the queen, I was reminded that this must have been a familiar thing to her, except the guardsman that used to walk beside her was my mother. Imogen and Katerina had been inseparable since childhood, when my mother had come to train with the royal guard.
My grandfather, a vampire who’d died when Imogen was in her teens, had spent my mother’s youth training her to hunt and fight. It was never considered that Imogen would not shatter the court’s glass ceiling by becoming the first woman to join the guard, and she’d finished second in her class when she graduated.
My father had finished top of the class.
Katerina opened the door to the meeting room and ushered me inside. Like protocol demanded, I waited until she took a seat, and then I carefully took a seat a couple down from her, wondering what I’d done now, to have the queen seek me out. She watched me with a quiet curiosity that made me feel like a fish in an aquarium.
I noticed the queen was picking at the skin on her nails, a nervous habit I’d somehow forgotten. Katerina noticed where my eyes had landed, and she smiled softly.