by Susan Harris
“You should tell him that.”
“I heard.”
Atticus and Edison were standing right behind their parents, both looking handsome in their uniforms. Edison, dressed for the first time as an official guard, looked especially polished and proud. Jocelyn embraced her eldest son, and then the whole family was hugging.
There was a pain in my chest, and my breath hitched as I remembered what I’d said to Jocelyn to convince her to come tonight. I would never have a moment like this, and I was surprised at how much it hurt me, especially today.
“You did this?”
I lifted my eyes to Atticus, who’d come to stand in front of me. Shrugging my shoulders, I offered a small smile. “Jack got my father’s ring. You got your parents. It made no sense to me that they wouldn’t be here when they could be.”
My friend’s eyes widened as he caught my meaning, and he went to say something when Edison clapped him on the back and grinned at me.
“You should have heard her—called them assholes and everything. It was priceless. I just wish I’d recorded it.”
Katerina called for everyone to gather round, and I wondered where Nickolai was. As if I’d thought him into being, he sauntered into the room, dressed in a royal guard uniform of his own, a crown embroidered on his shirt where Jack had the word Captain. He looked breathtakingly handsome, his hair slicked back from his face, but with one rebellious strand dipping into his eyes.
Those eyes found me a moment later, and time stopped. All I saw was him, and I had to snap my gaze away so I could stand beside Jack as he held hands with Atticus and they promised themselves to one another. Neither vampire could stop grinning as Katerina did all the formal pieces of the ceremony, careful to change certain bits for this unique-among-our-kind couple.
When she arrived at the blood-oath part of the ceremony, Nickolai handed his mother his own dagger—a gesture, much like Katerina wearing her glittering gown, that he, as incoming monarch, also blessed this union. Katerina sliced the blade across Jack’s palm, then Atticus’s, and lastly her own. Then she placed Jack’s hand into Atticus’s before resting her hand over their joined ones.
“Blood of Eve, bless this union with happiness and love. Jack and Atticus have declared their desire to be mated as two of your children, and royal blood joins them together this evening. It is now sealed, our blood as one, under your watchful eye. Blessed be Eve.”
We all repeated the words, and then Jack kissed Atticus, tears streaming down both their faces. Everyone offered up congratulations, and I snorted when I heard a familiar voice.
“Oh my god, I love weddings.”
Krista was crying little ghost tears and sniffling. Shaking my head and laughing, I felt eyes on me and caught Edison watching the space where Krista was standing with a bemused look on his face.
Could Edison see Krista?
After all the congratulations were over, Jack and Atticus looked like they didn’t know what to do next as usually a wedding banquet would be thrown. Grinning from ear to ear, I marched to the doors and declared. “If everyone could follow me please.”
Edison rushed after me, mischief in his eyes. We’d been working on this surprise for Jack and Atticus together, and not even Nickolai knew what we had planned. We walked all the way down to the gym, and then I turned and ushered Jack and Atticus inside.
Edison flicked the lights on as the mated pair stepped inside, and the gym erupted into a deafening round of applause. Every member of the current guard, trainees yet to be promoted, and some of the female self-defense class all stood there, clapping and cheering for two of their own.
Jack and Atticus quickly dropped each other’s hands, and I put my hands in theirs and placed them back together again. Both vampires looked at me in shock.
“You do not need to hide from these people. They are truly happy to be here for you both. They all wanted to celebrate with you, and I didn’t even have to threaten anyone to behave. Enjoy this.”
Jack eyed me with suspicion. “You did this?”
“Joint effort,” I said, holding out my fist to Edison, who bumped my knuckles.
Then Jack and Atticus were swept away in a wave of congratulations and well-wishes. I turned to Katerina and saw approval in her eyes.
“My liege, we have a seat for you if I may escort you.”
Katerina held out her elbow, and I placed my hand at her elbow, escorting her to her seat at the table we set up for the happy couple. I pulled out her chair for her, then poured her a drink and excused myself to go and grab Edison.
“You ready?” I asked my new partner.
He looked a little nervous. “I’ve never done this in public before,” Edison admitted as he rubbed the back of his head.
“Just picture everyone naked.”
“That doesn’t help.”
I punched him lightly on the shoulder as I laughed. “Then I’m out of ideas, my friend. But think of all the groupies you’ll get.”
Rolling his eyes, Edison went to the microphone and tapped it to get people’s attention. When no one quietened down, I whistled sharply, and everyone turned to look at us. Edison shot me a glare, but I shrugged and waved my hand for him to carry on.
Edison cleared his throat and then began to speak. “Atticus was always a hero to me. One I looked up to and aspired to be. I thought him brave and courageous, and I still do. When he asked me to be his best man, I was only too happy to agree and welcome my new brother to our family… although that kinda means I’m stuck with Callan now. But you can’t win everything.”
The room chortled as I stuck out my tongue at Edison, who laughed himself before he continued. “Atticus and Jack, everyone here wishes you both all the happiness in the world. So, if everyone could take a seat, I think it’s time you take to the floor as a mated pair.”
Edison took the mic off the stand and went to the piano that had been wheeled in especially for this moment, and Atticus gasped as if he weren’t aware Edison could play the piano.
“I, uh, don’t sing in public, but having spent a couple of weeks together at—as Callan eloquently put it, at Costa del Rogue, Callan seems to think I have an alright voice. I wouldn’t do this for just about anyone else, but I love you, brother. And I am so fucking happy for you.”
Edison toyed with the keys for a minute, and then he opened his mouth. He kept his eyes on the keys of the piano as his raspy voice began to sing the lyrics to Aloe Blacc’s “I Do.” The lyrics were perfect for the couple, who swayed to the music, lost in each other’s eyes as if there was no one else in the room with them.
Goose bumps spread up my arms as Edison sang his heart out, and I closed my eyes and listened to him sing. It reminded me of him comforting me in the cell, singing us a little bit of light in the darkness.
When he finished, I opened my eyes as the room stood to applaud him and the happy couple. Atticus launched himself at Edison, and when the brothers embraced, a tear slipped down my cheek. A thumb gently wiped away my tear, and I looked up to see Nickolai’s cerulean eyes on me.
“You romantic softy.”
I laughed at his teasing words. “By Eve, I feel like such a girl.”
“I like knowing you aren’t all sharp edges and blunt words. I like that I get to see this side of you, like I know something the rest of the world doesn’t.”
Nickolai’s tone was husky, and as music began to play and people began to dance, I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. Nickolai eyed me with cautious optimism.
“Just go with it, Romanov.”
His hands fell to my hips, fingers pressed hard against my skin as I rested my head against his chest. “By Eve, Ryan. I needed this. I needed to touch you these last few nights. When you came back and I couldn’t, when you begged me not to touch you, it felt as if my heart had been ripped from my chest. It was worse than when you were gone, because you were here and you wouldn’t let me hold you.”
“Nicky—”
“No,” Nickolai sa
id roughly. “I don’t want you to apologize; that’s not what I’m trying to say. I’m saying that I want this, you and me. Dancing in front of the court because we can. I want everyone to know that I’m yours, and I sure as hell want everyone to know that you are mine.”
“Nicky.”
His name was like a prayer on my lips. I wanted to tell him that I wanted all that as well, but I couldn’t. I was acutely aware of eyes watching us. Even the queen was studying us with eager eyes.
“It’s not that simple. You know it’s not.”
Nickolai’s grip on my hips tightened, so much so I knew they would leave bruises. “It is that simple, Ryan. To me, it’s that simple. I lost you once, and my world fell apart for ten years. You told me that if you could have loved anyone, then it would be me. I’m asking you to choose me, Ryan. Because I will always choose you. Even back then, when I was too young to understand, it was always you.”
“By Eve, Nicky. You keep talking like I’m a star in the night sky.”
“You aren’t just a star to me, Ryan; you’re my whole damn sky.”
I knew by his tone that he meant it, that he thought of me like that, but Nickolai was wrong. I wasn’t the sky or even the shining star in the darkness—he was the star. When Katerina had kicked my ass back to the real world, I should have prepared for this eventuality, but I was powerless to stop the inevitable.
“I think we were cursed from the start, Nicky. From the very moment I let you into my heart. Not now, back then. Every time we gravitate toward one another, bad things happen. Have you ever wondered if Eve is trying to tell us something?”
19
“No.”
As if the word alone could stop our destinies and we could forge them ourselves. Nickolai slipped his hand up the curve of my body, and his fingers left a blaze of heat in their wake. He cupped my neck possessively, tilting my head up so I had no choice but to hold his gaze.
“You take risks all the bloody time. You dance with danger and laugh when it tries to kill you. I’m asking you to take a chance, take a risk on us. I’m not so proud that I won’t beg, Ryan. Please, risk it for me.”
What Nickolai didn’t realize was that risks taken with my body were acceptable, but I never risked my heart. And that’s what I would be doing—risking my heart if I said yes.
Something told me that not risking my heart would cost me Nickolai in the end, and wasn’t that exactly what I was trying to avoid? I smiled as a plan formed in my head.
“I’ll consider it,” I said. “But right now, I see Jack trying to sneak away with his mate, and I still have a speech to give before they can get naked.”
I retreated from Nickolai, rolling my eyes as I walked away and he called to me that this conversation wasn’t over. Edison already had the mic in his hands as I neared, and this time, he called for hush before handing me the microphone. Jack winced, fully expecting me to say something inappropriate.
“I shouldn’t be the one giving this speech tonight,” I began. Jack looked like he was about to argue. I inclined my body so I was looking to Jack and Atticus and no one else. “There is someone in Eden who would have given his right arm to be the one delivering this speech, and my dad was far better with words than I am. However, I know I speak for my father when I say that we are proud of Jack and so happy for him as he embarks on his forever journey with Atticus.”
A chorus of “Here, here” sounded, and I waited for the din to die down before I continued. “Jack, I can never thank you for what you’ve done for me, for being a father figure to me. I wasn’t exactly easy to handle as a kid, or—before anyone gets lippy—even now. Yet, you were always there. I spent a lot of my life wondering what it would be like to feel safe, and as I grew up, I knew that whenever I was with you, I felt safe and loved. I am so lucky you stuck around.”
Jack was crying now, and I had to look to the ceiling to stop my own tears. When I got myself under control again, I moved from Jack to Atticus, and his eyes widened as if he hadn’t expected me to address him.
“Atty,” I said with a smile. “I learned from a young age not to be too trusting, but one night, as a scared little girl, I gave my trust to you; and since that night on the roof of this very compound, I’ve never looked back. While Jack was my father figure, you were my brother, my mentor. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that, but you are. Recent events have opened my eyes to see things as they are. I may have lost my parents, but I was never without family. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it.”
Edison handed me a champagne flute, and I held it up. “I love you both. I don’t think I’ve said that, either, but I do. I’m so fucking happy for you both and honored that I could be part of this special night tonight. But now, members of the royal court of Romanov, if you could all raise your glasses, let’s toast the newly mated couple so they can finish sneaking off to get naked.”
Laughter filled the room as I’d hoped, and then I lifted my glass. Everyone echoed my sentiments as Jack threw his arms around me so tightly, I thought he would break a rib. Then Atticus was hugging us both, and I let myself fall into my emotions, wondering if I could catch happiness from them.
Morning soon beckoned, and the room started to empty out. I noticed Katerina striding out the door and went after her, ignoring a curious glance from Nickolai. His mother hadn’t gotten far when I caught up with her.
“My liege, a word if I may?”
Katerina nodded.
“I want to take your son on a date,” I blurted out.
With a soft giggle of laughter, the queen replied, “That is not something you need to ask my permission for.”
My face heated as I looked at the floor, words rushing from my lips before I lost the courage to say them. “I want to take him on a date where I have to make an effort. I mean, Nickolai rented out an entire cinema for me. It can’t be run of the mill. But I’m not good at the girlie thing or dresses and high heels. You always look so stunning, and I remember you and mom used to help each other pick out all that crap.”
“Are you asking me to take you shopping?”
With a shrug, I muttered, “I guess. But I need help keeping it a surprise.”
“What have you in mind?”
I explained to Katerina what I was planning, and she smiled as if delighted I knew her son so well. We arranged to meet at sundown, and Katerina agreed to help me get out of the house to go shopping and then make up some story to get him dressed up as well.
I was curled up in bed when Nickolai came into my room that morning and slid into bed behind me. He pulled me flush against him, and I fell into a dreamless sleep. When I awoke that evening, it was to the sound of voices. Sitting up in bed, I heard Nickolai speaking to his mother.
“But you want Ryan to go with you? Shopping?”
“Yes, Nico. Repeating myself three times should be more than enough. I will be going to human shops to search for a dress for the gala you will be attending as my guest. It would look completely strange if I had a guard with me as I browsed. I know that Child of Eve that Ryan is friendly with has unique items, so I will go there first and take Ryan with me.”
I grinned as I slipped out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and my jacket. Nickolai was still arguing with his mother as I brushed my teeth, the two of them standing inside my bedroom as I came out. I grabbed my bank card and tucked it into my front pocket as I slipped into my chucks.
“I could go with you. We could all go for an early lunch.”
Katerina looked like she was considering it for a moment, then snapped her fingers. “You have that video call with Lucas this evening. It was already rearranged due to the mating. It may be considered rude to cancel again.”
Nickolai frowned as I nodded to the queen. “Ready when you are, my liege.”
Before I knew it, we were being driven from the compound into the city center of Cork. I missed seeing the city by night, had gotten used to living in the middle of it all with Nickolai. If I had the cho
ice, I’d remain in the city rather than hidden out in the suburbs.
True to her word, Katerina had us driven to Rose’s shop. The car door was held open for us, and Katerina got out and sauntered straight into the shop. I followed suit and watched as Rose welcomed Katerina with a curtsey.
Katerina simply smiled. “It is so nice to see you again, Rose.”
I wasn’t aware the two had known each other but considering Rose was once my mother’s dedicated Child of Eve, it made sense.
“What can I do for you both this evening? I understand we are looking for a dress.”
“Ryan is looking for a dress. She has planned a date with my son.”
My face flushed as Rose looked at me with raised eyebrows. Then she grinned. “About time,” she said. “Let’s go find a dress for you.”
As the two women chatted dresses, I felt embarrassed not knowing the difference between a sweetheart neckline or an A-line skirt. I smiled when I heard Rose tell the queen no pink and then even more when Katerina agreed.
Then Katerina turned to show me a dress, and I froze. The dress was a figure hugging, Asian-style dress in crimson. It was full length yet had a slit that stopped just shy of the thigh. Lime green and gold stitching decorated the neck, chest, and sleeves, making it incredibly elegant and stunning.
However, when I took in the color again, I could only see myself as a rogue queen in a dress of similar color, and I backed away from the women, sending a rail of clothing to the floor.
“What is it, Ryan?”
“I can’t wear red.”
“Why ever not?” asked Rose. “This dress was made for you.”
I let loose a string of curses that hung in the air before blurting out, “He made me wear a dress in that color when he made me dream of being Maxim’s rogue queen.”
Katerina handed the gown to Rose and then came forward to take my hands in hers. “Maxim Smyrnoi does not dictate what you do or do not wear. If you allow him to have that power, then he wins. Take back the power, Ryan. Do not let him win.”