"Geez, thanks a lot. It's bad enough that's how I'm viewing this trip. Don't you start, too. One of us needs to be optimistic."
"Oh, I'm full of optimism. I'm optimistic that all this planning and preparing they're doing is a set-up of the highest order. Y'all are about to be ambushed. I don't know how or when, but there's no way they turned over a new leaf that quickly."
"It is suspect, huh? I tried to warn him. But, you know Jack, it's the truth at all costs."
"You still feeling okay about that?"
"I'm feeling like a cornered rabid animal, and I don't know how I'll react under more pressure, but Jack not being done with me is worth it."
"What about the school? Yeah, I haven't forgotten about that. It seemed like you had enough on your plate already, though."
"Nothing has changed in six days, Brianna. Not one thing is off my plate, and I haven't even considered bringing up the school. I'm not even in the window of the deadline, so it's still under my couch cushions. Just another secret waiting to catch up to me."
"Get in front of this," Brianna said.
"Yeah, yeah. It's not happening today, though, so save the lecture. I'm pulling in, and I'm going to lose the signal. I'll text. Oh, and congratulations again. Love you, bye."
Keila got an 'I love you' back, and the call ended.
When she got off of the elevator, she practically tip-toed to her door. If Jack knew she wasn't even close to being a little bit ready, this trip would be off to a terrible start. As she glanced at his door over her shoulder, she unlocked her own and slid in. She made sure to not let the door slam. She about peed her pants when she looked up and, sitting in her living room, was Jack, and he was holding her brochures from school.
"Fuck!" The word slipped out of her mouth. She didn't realize how loud it was until he looked up.
"Jack, I can explain."
He didn't even respond to her. She just watched him drop his head in his hands. It was the saddest he'd ever looked, and Keila knew she was the cause. It made her feel lousy, but she was stuck with her back against the door. Her feet wouldn't move. She was so close to having it all, and one stupid decision was about to sink the possibility of any future with Jack.
It was never meant to be a secret at all and certainly not an explosive one. She always planned to tell him about the school, to get his opinion on things, the way she had been doing pretty much from the first night they met. Sure, the timing last week had been awful, and shoving it under couch cushions was childish and foolish, upon reflection, but this couldn't be the end. Keila was thinking all of those things as she finally pushed off the door and slowly presented herself in front of him. When he didn't look up, Keila knelt down in front of him. There was nothing that jumped to mind when it came to making this better. So, he sat, and she knelt, and they were both silent.
Thirteen
Jack
"Were you ever going to tell me?"
They'd been sitting in silence so long that hearing his own voice was a bit startling. He hadn't known what he would say from the moment the papers slid out. He was stunned, proud, excited, overwhelmed, and guilty all in the same span of time. It had only been a few minutes, but Jack had experienced it all. He was stunned that there was still another secret between them. He was proud, because he knew how hard Keila worked, and from the brochure alone, he could see how prestigious the school was. That pride led to excitement. Jack knew Keila had fallen in love with Paris when they were there and he could practically see her strolling down the Champs Elysees. He was so overwhelmed at the thought that she would be gone, in another country for at least two years, he thought his heart might actually stop. He was consciously telling himself to breathe. And, the fact that he put his feelings in the equation of what was best for Keila suffocated him further with guilt. He knew, his primary role as a sugar daddy was to help her to be the best she could be in the world. Ending up like Brianna and Michael wasn't a guarantee, and it clearly wasn't in the cards for him. Now, he just had to accept it.
"This was not a secret, Jack. I had every intention of telling you. Last weekend was such a mess. We just—I just didn't get around to it. Honestly, I didn't think we needed one more thing to deal with; you have to admit I was right. I shoved the stupid papers under the cushion in a rush. I wasn't plotting or scheming. It was a dumb, last minute choice that I was going to deal with when we got back from New York. Can't we just go and stick with my plan to shelve it for later?"
Keila was still sitting at his feet and clutching his hands. Jack hadn't pulled away, but there were miles of distance between them. He felt like he was already separating her from his heart and his mind. He was doing everything he could to process the pain of another devastating loss.
When he first saw the pages, he called the only person he knew would understand.
Jack knew Keila well and true, which meant she wasn't going to be anywhere near ready when it was time to go. He'd been working from home all week, so he didn't have to be away from her again and so she wouldn't be forced to travel to New York alone to meet him. He also suspected, if left to show up on her own, she would rather fake an injury than introduce him to her mother and grandmother. When they were having dinner the night before, Keila's grandmother had called. Without being told, she'd put it on speaker. Her grams was explaining how she was going to be making some time consuming, multi-stepped dessert called Pavlova. Jack had no idea what it was, but Keila called it a showstopper. Apparently, the woman was going out of her way to make a good impression, contrary to what Keila believed.
No matter, he'd done like she'd begged and gotten them a hotel room as a backup. He wasn't exactly a doubting Thomas where Keila's family was concerned anymore. Jack had fielded all sorts of random, personal, and on the verge of inappropriate questions this week, all of them disguised as idle chit-chat and asides. They'd been calling on Keila more than usual, and eventually, she'd just told them his name. The old gals weren't fooling anyone. Someone had been on Google, and even though not much more than a business bio and a few society page pictures at various charities could be found, they were trying to piece together as much of a full story before his arrival as they could.
Jack went to pull down Keila's small suitcase from the top shelf of hall closet between her bedroom and living room. He might have guessed there was an avalanche in there waiting to give him a damn concussion before they ever left. As soon as he pulled on the handle of the case, a box of snow globes and Christmas ornaments started to rain down. What the hell? Right, instead of unpacking from the move, she'd just tucked things away. In that moment, Jack was certain the girl would be the literal death of him. All he could do was laugh as he fumbled to catch the things that could break while scanning the room quickly to see where everything else had rolled off around the place.
His knees were not happy bent down to get some round, homemade looking ornament from underneath the couch. He grabbed the coffee table with his right hand and the edge of the couch with his left to help push himself upright. When he pushed down, the hand on the couch slid against something, which almost had him face plant. Standing up, Jack lifted the cushion and found a beautiful glossy folder with a letter on top. Now, why in the world was she keeping mail under the cushions?
Ornaments forgotten, Jack sat back on the couch to read the letter. Keila had applied to and planned on going to graduate school in Paris. What? It didn't make any sense. They had spent the last week talking about their future. They were back to being physically and emotionally close. Jack wasn't being hyper vigilant about where his hands roamed or where his kisses landed, and Keila didn't mind. His sweet, funny girl had returned, and when he asked her about her grams' festive company dessert, Keila surprised him with the ingredients one night after work and they'd had a blast breaking about three dozen eggs trying to create the perfect meringues. The thought that she would do all of that while hiding something this big was a complete and total mind fuck and Jack didn't know what to do with it. So, he called s
omeone who might.
"Hey, Jack. I thought you guys would be getting ready to take off."
"The only thing about to take off is my heart out of my body. She's leaving, Michael. Keila is planning to leave."
Jack heard Michael lower whatever he'd been watching or listening to in the background.
"Jack, you are the most level headed man I know. You don't make a habit of jumping to conclusions, but it sounds like maybe this time, you got it wrong. Tell me what happened."
Relaying everything from the second he entered the apartment, Jack took Michael through every step he walked up until he picked up his phone to make the call to him.
"This sounds like it could be a misunderstanding, buddy. I've known Keila as long as you have, and she isn't some deliberately deceitful gold digger. Do you really think she's been playing you for your money and is planning some high stakes post-graduation getaway? I don't buy it. I don't think you buy it. Jack?"
"Michael, since last year, I've been on her case about my need for an absolutely truthful relationship. I explained about Julia and the baby. I cannot stand lying. She knows this. Something like this is huge, and she shoved it under couch cushions. How can I see this as anything other than blatant deceit? More importantly, how the hell am I supposed to deal with it?"
"I know it's going to sound like I'm being a smart ass, or worse still, a jackass, but talk to her. Jack, assuming anything is going to turn something that might be totally innocent into a battle ground. Every time I've talked to you this week, you've been in a cycle of high-low hell. You have to get it together. Be the man she came to depend on and the man she fell in love with a year ago. Don't be some conclusion jumping jerk who can't ever be wrong or apologize. That's not who you are, and I know you better than most."
"I don't want her to stay out of obligation or guilt. What if leaving is what's best for her?"
"Then let her tell you that. You don't get to tell her how she feels or what's best, not now. Not yet."
"What does that mean?"
"You've kept her at arm's length while trying to be all she needed. You have to make that full-on commitment. Be the man, be the Daddy she really needs. Stop being half in and get all in. That's the only way you get a real say."
In the span of their fifteen minute conversation, which he'd cherry picked for the bits he wanted, Jack came up with a plan. He just needed a little time to make sure she was taken care of before he could truly let go.
When he explained his plan to Michael, his friend was practically hollering at him. Michael thought he was mad and had not been shy about telling him so. His exact words were, "You're a sadistic bastard. No one expects this of you. Why are you throwing the only happiness you've had in over a decade away on a maybe?"
Jack's answer was simple, "For Keila."
No, he couldn't shelve this for later. If he was going to lose her eventually, then he might as well get it over with.
"I love you enough to let you go, Keila. You've been my angel and my Godsend, but I won't hold you like a bird in a gilded cage. This is the opportunity of a lifetime and something I know you want. Otherwise you wouldn't have spent the time, energy, and money to apply."
"But, wanting that doesn't mean I don't want you. Why can't I have both? Brianna does. Michael does."
"You're not Brianna. There are things still left for you to discover about life and yourself. Your place in the world has to be more than me and giving into anything I want because you're afraid of losing me."
"You love me. I know you do! I wouldn't make a mistake like that. It wasn't all some game of make believe." Taking a deep breath and making sure she looked him square in the eye, Keila didn't want there to be any confusion. "Even if it hasn't been real for you, it's been plenty real for me. I love you, Papa Jack. I love you more than I thought was possible. I love you more than anybody in my life. Please don't just give up and send me away. You promised you weren't going anywhere."
"I wish you could see it as something other than that. This is going to kill me, but it's for the best. It's what's best for you. I'm not going away. You must, though. Please know nothing about this makes me happy."
"Then don't be a fucking martyr!" Keila yelled and pulled away from him.
"Keila!" Jack's voice was laced was admonition.
"No. I can do what I want and say what I want. The minute you decided it was okay to let me go, you gave up the right to dictate anything to me. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
Keila screamed at full volume then took off to her room. The echo of the slamming door made the surrounding walls shake, and Jack felt the reverberations throughout his body. All he could do was pray that she could forgive him one day and that the universe saw fit to let their paths cross again.
The urge to go and comfort her was both overwhelming and futile. All Jack could do was send his girl into the world in style. He'd make any and all arrangements for her move to Paris and make sure she had everything she needed. He wasn't ready to share that gift with her yet and he doubted she'd be interested in hearing about it. It would be his last gift as her sugar daddy.
Fourteen
Keila
She punched her pillow repeatedly. Then she screamed into it. Then she screamed out loud. Nothing made it better. How in the world had things gone so wrong? When did her life turn into a telenovela? If this was what falling in love was, then she didn't need it. She never wanted to feel like this again. Keila stayed in a ball on her bed suspended in disbelief that her day had taken this turn. Even though she was furious that he could toss her away so easily, there was a part of her that just wanted Jack to come to his senses, burst in her room, give her grief over hiding the damn letter, and then lie with her, humming that blasted song over and over again until she dropped off to sleep.
"My eyes are done. Leighann and I have been working on this press kit since last week. One person on the team loves it, and the other two have just a few tweaks." Keila held her fingers together, showing what they did when they indicated a few. "It's never a few. What it is is different changes that don't align at all that they both want fully incorporated. I'm convinced they're doing it to us on purpose."
"I admire your work ethic, but you guys are interns and I don't think that means around the clock service. Tackle it again tomorrow, during business hours. Did you finish your project for class?"
"I could've done that project blindfolded. Once you gave me that template to plug everything into all of Professor Tedious' assignments, they have been a breeze. Ugh, I can't be done with that class soon enough."
"You don't think he knows that everyone calls him Professor Tedious, do you? It might be why he's so tough on you all."
"Papa Jack, are you scolding me for teasing the teacher?" He pinched the fleshy part of her and tickled her side in response. "You're right, though. I'm sure he knows his reputation and does everything he can to live up to it. That can be the only explanation, because he can't think anyone is learning anything new or profound in there."
"You don't have to love it."
"I know. I only have to pass it."
"Come on and rest your head."
"Evening naps aren't a thing, Jack."
"Don't worry; I won't let you drift too long, but if you try to go to bed for the night this early, you'll be up at three a.m., so close your eyes and I'll wake you up in thirty minutes."
"I'm too tired to fight." Keila put her head in his lap and slipped into a REM state before she even realized it. Jack's hands carding through her tight curls, at the base of her scalp, and massaging her shoulders definitely had something to do with it, too.
Her body must've known this wasn't a permanent, down for the night type of sleep. She started coming around but was way too comfortable snuggled into Jack's side to even consider moving before he nudged her. She could hear him humming above her, his hand lazily rubbing up and down her arm. Keila didn't hear any other music, so he either had in air buds, or he was humming to the music in his mind.
When she could no longer stand it, Keila wiggled around and moved to sit up, but she didn't get very far with Jack's arm draped over her. He leaned down and kissed her. His lips on hers was still a new and thrilling sensation for her.
"I wondered when you were going to stop faking it and open your eyes."
"Faking it. I'll have you know I was asleep for real, and I feel better, so thank you."
"You are feeling better, if you're agreeable and gracious waking up."
"I'm fine when I wake up on my own. When someone is dragging me awake to go exercise, that's a different story."
"And I know you slept for real. I also know when you woke up and were just lying there."
"I was enjoying the song. Are you hiding a secret talent from me? Are you out there singing karaoke when you're traveling?"
Keila loved it that they were back to laughing and joking more. Jack got going so good that his laughter turned into a cough and wheeze.
"No, I promise I am not singing in public anywhere for any reason. I'm liable to cause an international incident. Humming along is the extent of my talent."
"So, what were you humming?"
Jack picked up the remote to his sound system and hit play. Keila immediately recognized it as the song and realized she'd caught him humming it before.
"You hum this a lot when you're doing stuff and you don't think anyone is paying attention."
"Busted. I love this album. I'm a huge Stevie Wonder fan."
"Don't say it like that. We aren't that far apart in age. I know who Stevie Wonder is; he did that song with Ariana Grande for that movie with the dancing pig."
Jack moved to stand up, freeing Keila from his hold. He reached his hand out to her and pulled her up from the couch.
"This album is a couple of decades older, although I'm sure their collaboration was brilliant. Dance with me."
The Girl in Apartment 1203 Page 10