He didn’t answer. He didn’t move. He only stared at her with a miserable wrinkle in his forehead and sad puppy dog eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted this. I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. You’re smart.” He braced his hands on her shoulders. “That’s why I don’t know why you’re doing this. We can be a team. We can do this as a couple.”
Who was he kidding? This wasn’t a long-term thing. He wasn’t in love with her. Even if it lasted more than a few weeks, she knew how it would end. They’d become famous. Women and groupies would throw themselves at him. He’d cheat on her. She’d get her heart broken. Again. And she’d hate him. They couldn’t recover and the band would implode. Tessa would be devastated. Mason would be distraught. And she would hit rock bottom. Again.
She was smart, like Lucas said. She knew getting involved with him was wrong from the start. She may have been foolish and given in to his charm and good looks and appeal, but she was smart enough to stop it before it went any further. She needed to harden her heart. It’s something she’d done her entire life. She was an expert at it, but it had never been this hard or hurtful. “I’m sorry, Lucas. This is the way it has to be.” She briskly walked away from him as soon as she saw the tears that welled on his lower lids, because if they fell down his cheeks, she would have collapsed.
Lucas fell into his bed and stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t look at Sindy after she rejected him. He couldn’t even be in the same room with her, so he fled upstairs where he’d been immobilized for the last hour in an almost catatonic state. He didn’t realize how much he cared about her until she broke his heart. They were never technically a couple, he reminded himself. Their relationship had been volatile from the first day they’d met, fluctuating between insane passion and intense discord, and he wondered if he had fooled himself into thinking she really cared about him. The thought that he didn’t mean anything to her left him mournful and dejected, feelings he never had before. It was as if she mauled his heart. He rolled over and hugged the pillow to his chest in order to stifle the hollow ache that echoed inside of him, but it did nothing to ease the shock and pain at being cast aside so easily. She didn’t want him anymore. And he wondered if she ever really wanted him at all.
A while later, he recognized Sindy’s lone footsteps walking down the hallway toward Tessa’s suite. At first, it spiked his adrenaline, and he started to jump off the bed, but before his feet reached the edge of the mattress he came to a halt. He had nothing to say to her. Nothing she wanted to hear. He listened to the sound of her walking further away until the door to Tessa’s room closed and sealed off any further noise on the floor. She didn’t put the TV on or play music, and he wondered if she was gazing at the ceiling thinking about him, the same way he was lying there thinking about her.
Sometime around midnight, he picked up his phone and started to text her, then decided against it. He knew she wouldn’t respond, and he couldn’t take another rejection.
He slept fitfully and woke early in hopes of seeing Sindy at breakfast, but she never showed up. According to Tessa, Sindy decided to sleep late this morning, but Lucas knew she was only avoiding him.
After forcing himself to eat a few forkfuls of eggs, he decided to go for a walk on the beach. When he returned home, Sindy’s car was still in the driveway. He entered the house and listened for her voice, but he heard nothing. He went to the kitchen anyway, hoping to see her. Even if they only crossed paths – he going in one direction, she going in the other – that’s all it would have taken to make him happy. But it didn’t happen.
His mom was sitting at the center island drinking a cup of coffee and reading a magazine. She looked up at him when he entered the kitchen. “Everything OK, Lucas?” She had that knowing look in her eyes. That sixth sense that all mothers had. Her raised brows may as well have been antennas on high alert.
“Yeah,” he replied as he slowly exhaled. But he didn’t fool her. Not for one second.
She went to him and cupped his cheek in her hand for a moment before letting out a breath. “She’ll come around.”
“What are you talking about?” His mother had phenomenal intuition, but she couldn’t possibly have known something was going on between him and Sindy. Or could she?
“You might fool everyone else, even yourself, but you’re not getting one over on me. I know my son.”
He didn’t bother to deny it, and he really didn’t want to talk about it, but he couldn’t ignore the concern in his mother’s eyes. “I don’t think so, Mom. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Give her time, baby. Don’t push it. Give her the space she needs. A lot has happened in the last few weeks. Her life is a roller coaster right now.”
He nodded, because his throat was too tight to answer. The way Sindy explained it last night made sense. She didn’t see a future with him. His mother also thought he should back off. It was the general consensus that they were wrong together, except his heart refused to believe it was true.
His mother placed a gentle hand on his arm. “Don’t beat yourself up over this, sweetie.”
“I’m OK,” he lied.
“No, you’re not. You can put on the tough-guy act all you want. I know what’s in here.” She tapped the center of his chest. “Your heart is as sensitive as your father’s. Just give her time.”
“I don’t have a choice. That’s what she wants.”
“I hate seeing you like this.” She wrapped her arms around him in a hug that usually made everything all right. But, not this time.
He sighed and hugged her back. “I’ll be fine.”
He went upstairs and paused outside the doorway to his suite and listened to the sounds coming from Tessa’s room down the hall. He could hear his sister’s laughter and Sindy’s voice, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. He knew they weren’t talking about him, and it pained him. Could she really forget about him so easily? Did he really mean that little to her?
More laughter echoed in the foyer, this time Sindy’s. Lucas picked up on pieces of the conversation she was having with Tessa. They were talking about the upcoming photo shoot and making plans to go to the hair salon later that day. He started to take a step down the hall, but his foot never left the floor. She didn’t want him intruding and eyeing her with innuendo. She wanted a professional relationship. Although his heart ached at the thought, he knew she was right. Too much was happening at once right now. There were too many things coming at them from all angles. They needed to concentrate on Prodigy. He’d give her the space she wanted, and maybe, in the future, they’d get a second chance. A real shot at a relationship.
Tomorrow they had rehearsal, so he’d leave her alone for the rest of today. He would give her the space she’s been begging for, and maybe, just maybe, she’d realize that she missed him.
The next morning, Lucas skipped breakfast with the family and stayed locked in his suite until it was time to go down to the studio. He purposely arrived before anyone and killed time by scrolling through text messages and emails. Mason showed up first, announcing his presence by tapping out a beat on the wall as he descended the stairs. Lucas smiled at his best friend. “You’re in a good mood.”
“I’m always in a good mood when we’re making music.” Mason gave Lucas a fist bump. “This is really happening, man. About damn time.” He jumped behind the drums, took a pair of sticks from the bag and started playing beats off the top of his head. He played like a madman. Watching Mason was an inspiration, and it lightened the heaviness that shrouded Lucas’ heart. They were here to rehearse, and he wasn’t going to dwell on the issues that clouded his personal life.
He heard Sindy and Tessa chatting as they made their way down the stairs, just like he heard them late at night sometimes when he’d open his door and listen to see if Sindy was still awake.
“I hope you’re ready to rock,” Tessa said. “Because I
’m ready to scream my face off.”
Mason answered with a series of heavy hits on his toms and smashed both cymbals. “Hell, yeah!”
Lucas couldn’t take his eyes off Sindy. She cut her hair. It was shorter and spikey, and her auburn color was now a gorgeous deep red. “I love your hair,” he said in a breathy voice that conveyed how taken he was with this girl. “It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”
“Oh, man,” Mason called from behind his drums. “You look fucking hot!”
Both Lucas and Tessa glared at Mason for the comment.
He raised his shoulders. “What? I didn’t mean anything disrespectful.”
“It’s OK.” Sindy fluffed her hair up with both hands. “You don’t think it’s too much? I just wanted a cut. It was Tessa’s idea to play with color.”
“It’s gorgeous.” Lucas approached to take a closer look, and she eyed him warily. They both felt the tension, but if they were going to move forward as bandmates it needed to disappear.
Tessa stepped over to the mic stand, done with small talk and ready to get down to work. They ran through Driven which was the song they agreed to play on stage for their guest appearance with Immortal Angel. Tessa brought her all, as always. It sometimes stunned Lucas that such a powerful voice came out of such a petite girl.
After 45 minutes they took a break. Tessa grabbed a bottle of water, and Sindy went to talk to Mason. She did great with the rhythm, but their interactions were minimal. They needed to play off each other more so the audience could feel the rapport they shared. They’d get it back, he told himself.
“I’m gonna play it back.” Tessa fiddled with the recording equipment, then took a seat on the sofa, eyes trained on the flat screen.
Lucas sat next to his sister, curious to see how the four of them looked together now that they had become accustomed to playing with one another. Mason remained on his drum stool, as usual. Sometimes Lucas wondered if the guy was glued to that thing. Sindy stayed at the back of the studio leaning against an amp. Lucas couldn’t take his eyes off her. That rock star haircut and bright color baited him, and he wanted her more than ever.
“We look awesome!” Tessa had enough enthusiasm to fill the room, and Lucas reluctantly shifted his gaze from Sindy to the video recording.
He had to admit, they did look great as a band, and Sindy rounded them out to an even number.
Tessa turned toward Lucas and leaned forward, as if she expected Sindy to be sitting on his other side, but Sindy was still at the back of the studio, and Mason actually left his stool to sit on the amp next to her. Tessa’s back went rigid. “Sindy, why are you all the way over there? Why are you watching from the back of the room?”
“I don’t know. I was just sitting with Mason.”
“Well, come sit here. With me.”
Sindy slowly made her way across the room, but chose to squeeze between Tessa and the end of the couch, rather than sit in the open space on the other side of Lucas.
Lucas concentrated on the video. The vocals were killer, as usual, and Tessa dropped a chunky and compelling bassline. Mason knocked on the drums as if his life depended on it. But they weren’t the ones Lucas was watching. He usually watched himself, but today he watched Sindy. She had magic on the screen. Her new hair, mingled with the attitude she projected while she played, escalated the band, and the addition of the rhythm guitar added depth to the song. They reached a point in the song where he and Sindy faced one another as they played. At that moment, it wasn’t two people dealing with personal issues. They were two guitar players battling with their instruments. They looked good together and sounded even better.
“Right there!” Tessa practically jumped off the couch as she pointed at the screen. “Do you see that, Sindy? The way you and Lucas are facing one another, you can feel the connection. “Do you see the chemistry the two of you have together? That’s awesome! We need more of that. Really bring it. Don’t hold back. You’re great Sindy.” Tessa glanced at Mason and Lucas with a coy smile. “You two were great, too.”
When the video finished, Tessa stood and faced everyone as she waited for a critique. “What did you guys think?”
“That was great,” Mason said, twirling a drumstick.
“I think Sindy was amazing,” Lucas’ eyes washed over her, and he spoke directly to her. “You know music and you play with your heart. You looked like a pro. Beautiful and sexy. Rock and roll.”
Her cheeks turned pink, and she dropped her eyes. “Thank you, Lucas. Your opinion means a lot to me.” She raised her head, and Lucas saw the watery sheen that covered her eyes. It cut his heart like a razor to know that she was hurting, too, but it gave him a glimmer of hope that maybe she really did care about him.
They’d spent a week rehearsing Driven for Prodigy’s debut performance at Madison Square Garden, and Sindy had more confidence in her performance than ever before. She even managed to keep her cool during the ten-minute rehearsal she and Lucas had with Tommy Blade. But now that the moment was here, Sindy was terrified and her hands were trembling.
“Calm down.” Tessa rubbed Sindy’s arm. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.”
“Of course there is. I’m going to be playing on stage in front of 20,000 people. With Tommy Blade. Do you know how intimidating that is?”
“He’s my dad. Just think about him like that.”
Tommy Blade was far from just Tessa’s dad – he was the Prince of Punk Rock! Sindy paced and shook out her hands to relieve some nervous tension.
Angel knocked and poked his head in the dressing room. “I just came to wish you luck, princess. Although I know you don’t need it.” He beamed at Tessa, proudly, as he crossed the room to give her a hug. Tommy and Jessi Blade followed and joined them in a three-on-one hug.
After gushing over her daughter, Jessi went into designer mode and adjusted bits of Tessa’s wardrobe. “These pants fit you like a glove. Are they comfortable?”
“Very.” Tessa demonstrated by kicking one of her legs like a Rockette and stretching her arms to the ceiling.
“Good. Because the last thing we need is a ripped seam.” Jessi caught Angel’s gaze and they shared a laugh, obviously remembering a past experience.
Sindy received an unexpected hug from Jessi. She stiffened slightly, still unused to the open displays of affection in this family.
“Good luck, sweetie.” Jessi stood back and inspected Sindy’s outfit. “Sex-saay!”
Tommy Blade came over and smiled at Sindy. She stood eye to eye with an icon that she never thought she’d meet face to face, and tonight she would play on stage with him.
“See you in a few. We’re gonna slay that audience tonight.” Tommy also gave her a quick hug, then Angel Garcia did the same thing and also wished her luck. Then they exited the dressing room that Sindy and Tessa shared. The interaction with Tommy and Angel amped up Sindy’s adrenaline, and settled her nerves about the performance. She was still a little rattled, but in a good way.
“Knock, knock, knock.” It was Mason, who entered the room ahead of Lucas.
“Oh my God. Don’t we get any privacy?” Tessa joked. “It’s like Grand Central Station in here.”
Mason chuckled. “More like Penn Station.”
“I figured we’d hang out together until it was time to hit the stage,” Lucas said. “We weren’t doing anything in our dressing room.” He looked Sindy up and down and let out a whistle. “You look great.”
“Thank you.” She glanced down at her outfit – a leather corset and tight black leggings with see-through cutouts. “I hope it doesn’t look like I’m trying too hard.”
“You look like a rock star.” He leaned closer and looked into her eyes. “Don’t worry. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah. But it’s unfounded. The people out there are already fans. They know me. They know Tessa. And they know Mason.” He gave a mocking eye roll toward the ceiling. “Everyone knows Mason. Th
ey’re diehard Immortal Angel fans. Even if we just went out there and waved at the audience, they’d stand up and cheer. They’ve been waiting for Prodigy to go mainstream for a very long time. We’re a guaranteed success. This is our crowd.”
“But I’ve never played in front of an audience. This is fucking Madison Square Garden. There are 20,000 people out there! I thought we were going to play some small venue, not the world’s most famous arena.”
“It’s no different than playing on the street in Times Square. You’ve done that, right?”
“Yeah, but people are walking back and forth. Half of them don’t even look at me. It’s not 20,000 people staring at me.”
“It doesn’t matter. You can’t see past the first few rows anyway. Everything after that is just blackness with a few dots of light here and there.” He cupped her face in his hands, and his touch soothed her and spiked her heart rate at the same time. “Stay by me if your nerves start to act up. It’s just a couple of chords with Immortal Angel, and then one of our songs. You play it like a champ. If you get flustered, just keep playing. That’s all you gotta do. Just play. Don’t look at anyone but me. You don’t need to do anything but play that guitar. It’s you and me up there. That’s all. Block everyone else out if you have to.” He winked at her. “I gotcha, hon.”
It was the first time he’d called her “hon” in a while. The word was an act of affection, like he’d said the first time he’d used the endearment, and it calmed her. “Thank You.” She took in everything he said, absorbing the advice from someone who had been on the stage since he was two. Less anxious than before, she smiled at him grateful for his words of advice. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and place a soft kiss on his lips. Not with sexual intent, but because she truly had feelings for this beautiful man.
LUCAS BLADE: Radical Rock Stars: Next Generation Duet Book 1 Page 19